In Leadership

Last week I wrote a post listing the top 10 reasons why people stay with an organization (read entire post here). In that post I referenced a book I recently read entitled, Love 'em or Lose 'em. In this book, the authors offer 26 engagement strategies for managers to use in helping retain good employees.

Of the 26 strategies, 25 were proactive and basically a list of do this, or do that. However, one chapter focused on what not to do. The chapter was titled, "Jerk - Don't Be One". Immediately below the chapter title was this, "WARNING - If this book landed on your desk with a bookmark here, pay attention!".  If you're like me, you probably chuckled when you read that.

Unfortunately the reality is that it's not really funny for a lot of people. The reason being, they work for a boss that acts like a jerk and it makes their work life miserable. Over the years I've had the unfortunate experience of working for a couple of jerks (none so far at LifeWay!) and it was not fun. In one case, it was bad enough that I was ready to quit. When I complained to my general manager he told me that I could learn as much from the bad managers as I could from the good ones. (Not sure that's what I really wanted to hear, but looking back I think there's a little truth in there somewhere.) Fortunately, before things got really bad, I got a promotion and was transferred to another hotel.

As it almost was for me, working for a jerk boss is one of the top causes for a person to leave a job. Even employees who are well paid, receive recognition and a chance to learn and grow will leave if the boss is a big enough jerk. This begs the question, "Are you a jerk boss?". Some bosses are proud of the fact they're a jerk, but I think most of them (maybe even us sometimes) don't really realize the impact their behavior is having on their employees.

So, what are some of the behaviors of a jerk boss? Here's a "Jerk Behavior Survey" that can offer a little insite. The survey poses the question, "Which of these behaviors would make you leave your job?" and lists 42 jerk behaviors to choose from. Once you check the five that would most likely cause you to leave, you get the results of what everyone else said.

Here are the five (4 of 5 were in top 8) jerk behaviors I said would cause me to leave a job:

1. Belittles people in front of others
2. Lies
3. Humiliates and embarrasses others
4. Betrays trust or confidences
5. Swears

What about you? Have you ever left a job because the boss was a jerk? If so, what was the behavior that sent you out the door? If not, what jerk behavior would cause you to leave a job you were otherwise satisfied with? 

Over the course of my work career, I've been involved in more performance reviews (giving and receiving) than I can remember. Most were positive, others not so positive, but in my most recent performance review my boss asked me a question I had never heard before.

Near the end of our meeting, Jerry asked, "What would it take for you to leave LifeWay?". For just a moment, I was speechless. In 30+ years I've never had a boss ask me that question. I'm sure I've had one or two who probably wanted to ask what it would take to GET me to leave, but never what would it take for me to leave. Fortunately, I truly do love what I do. Once I recovered my voice, I said that short of the audible voice of God, I couldn't think of anything that would get me to leave to LifeWay.

As we discussed this question further, Jerry shared that he had recently read the book, Love 'em or Lose 'em. In this book,  the authors challenged employers to ask this type of question before a good employee leaves, instead of waiting and asking why they left in an exit interview. When you stop to think about it, this makes a lot of sense. Why not engage your good performers and find out what might cause them to leave before they really leave?

In their book, authors Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans shared the results from over 17,000 folks who answered the question, "why have you stayed with your organization?". Based on that research, here are the Top 10 Reasons why people stay with an organization:

1. Exciting work and challenge
2. Career growth, learning and development
3. Working with great people
4. Fair pay
5. Supportive management/good boss
6. Being recognized, valued and respected
7. Benefits
8. Meaningful work and making a difference
9. Pride in the organization, its mission and its products
10. Great work environment and culture

I would love to hear what you think about this. How do these reasons line up with how you feel about your job or organization? As a boss, which of these areas can you positively impact?

Over the course of my lengthy hospitality career, I have attended and/or exhibited at more conferences than I can remember. Whether they were big or small, long or short, intense or relaxed, they all pretty much had one thing in common. A group of people, with common interests, coming together in one place to learn and to network.

Thinking back over all of the conferences I've attended got me thinking. Why were some better than others? Why did some seem to fly by, while others felt like I was on that proverbial slow boat to China? Certainly the quality of the speakers and program had something to do with it, but it's really more than that. I've learned the hard way that getting the most out of a conference is really more up to me than anything else. The more I put into the conference or trade show, the more I get out of it.

With that in mind, here are four things you can do to help you get the most out of the next conference you attend.

• Have an objective. Why are you attending the event? Is it to learn new methods? To get new business leads? To make a certain number of new contacts? To relax and work on your golf game? Whatever it may be, make sure your objective is clear in your head before you go. This will help you to focus on the real reason you're there. Otherwise it can be way too easy to get distracted by the busyness of the conference. Before you know it, it's over and you feel like you've just wasted a few days of your life.
• Intentionally and consistently talk to strangers. For some people this is very easy, for others it's pure torture, but it's critical if you want to get the most out of the conference. I find I usually learn as much, or more, from the individuals I meet as from the general sessions and breakouts.
• Arrive early, stay late and be outgoing at any and all networking opportunities. This one is especially important if you are an exhibitor at the conference. This is your opportunity to meet potential clients away from the "sales" atmosphere of a traditional trade show booth. People are usually more open and willing to talk when in a casual, social environment. When meeting new people, try to make it more than exchanging a business card. Take the time to qualify the potential value you each could bring to the other's network.
• Stay in touch. After returning from the conference, be sure to stay in contact with the people you met and want to add to your network. To develop a good network you must invest time in building the relationship. Whether it be through Facebook, Twitter, email or phone, take the time to get to know each other. Remember, the great thing about building a solid network is that you not only benefit from the knowledge and experience of that person, but also of those they are connected to.

What about you? What do you do to get the most from attending a conference or convention? 

I read a great article this week on what our ministries can learn from Disney.  Here are some points that I thought we're particularly interesting.  Walt Disney lived to bring joy to others-but he was also an incredibly driven, principled, precise and visionary leader.  Look at how his principles can impact  leaders, dreamers and ministers.

Work diligently. Bring out the best in others.

·        Do you have a go-the-extra-mile attitude?

·        Do you help people discover their gifts and use them?

·        Do you make the people around you better?

·        Who are you mentoring right now?

Maintain a commitment to excellence.

·        What qualifies as “excellent” in your ministry? What doesn’t?

·        Are you content with “good enough”?

·        Do people associate excellence with your ministry?

Create a place families can experience together.

·        Does your ministry provide experiences families can enjoy together?

·        How do you equip parents to explore faith with their children outside church walls?

·        How can you make your church a more welcoming environment for families with children?

Remember that ministry is all about the people.

·        Do first-time guests have a great experience?

·        Do people at your church feel loved and cared for?

·        Do you put people before rules?

Remember that it’s not just about brainpower.

·        Do you depend on God’s strength or your own?

·        Are you working where God gifted you?

·        Do you make yourself available to God?

Make people smile.

·        Do people enter your doors with a spirit of anticipation?

·        Do people smile and have fun?

·        Do people say your services or programs are boring?

If you are a leader, you ask people to do things every day. Hopefully they say yes to your request and things get accomplished, but have you ever stopped to think why they did what you asked? If not, you should, because the answer to that question will go a long way in determining how successful a leader you are or will become.

Early in my management career I learned there are basically three reasons people will do what a leader asks them to do. The first one is pretty obvious: You’re the boss! This is known as position power. Because of the position you hold, your employees have to do what you ask.

While every leader uses position power, especially when coming into a new position or organization, over reliance on it can lead to an unmotivated or even resentful work force. Employees will begin to do just enough to comply and the bolder ones may even begin to look for ways to subtly undermine their leader – neither of which is good for the long-term health of the department or organization.

The second reason a person will do what a leader asks of is based on what could be described as a cost/benefit analysis. Although this may sound complicated, it really isn’t. Basically the employee considers the benefit of doing what you’ve asked versus the cost of not doing it. If doing what is asked benefits the employee, or if the cost of not complying is too steep, then he/she will do what is asked. However, if they don’t think they will benefit and/or they deem the cost of not complying acceptable, then they usually won’t. This typically happens when people feel their leader/organization does not care about them. As a result they begin making the majority of their work decisions based on what is best for them, not the organization.

The third reason a person says ‘yes’ to a leader is really the sweet spot of leadership and this is personal power. In other words, people are willing to do what you ask of them because of a personal relationship that has been established. Having this personal relationship does not necessarily mean being buddies with those you lead. What it does mean is that they respect you and trust that what you are asking of them is the right thing to do. Gen. George Patton and Coach John Wooden were both great leaders.  One was feared by his men and the other was loved by his players, but both were respected, trusted and followed.

While initial respect comes with the position, long term respect and trust must be earned over time. Are you the real deal? Does what you say line up with what you do? Do those you lead sense that it’s more than a job for you? Do they see you living out the mission? If the answer to these questions is yes, then your people are following you because they want to. If not, then they are probably following you because of your title or because it’s in their own self interest. Either way, it’s not a recipe for long-term leadership success.

So…why do the people you lead say ‘yes’?