Temperance needs to make a comeback.
I came across the term recently in an article entitled "Taming Tween Divas" by Mark Earley. The article is compelling—and scary.
The question I keep asking myself is how we may be fueling the problem in ministry. In what ways do I (or the church) perpetuate the cycle of indulgence and egocentrism? What do I model in my own life? In the activities that I plan? In the things that I emphasize, glorify, and even lust after (if I'm really honest)?
How does the church indulge girls?
Have we already crossed the line from offering things that appeal to teen girls to instead reinforcing an unhealthy attitude and dependeny on those things? While I think that it is important to make ministry to girls relevant and "cutting edge" (although some are way over the edge...), I wonder if we haven't created a generation that will not remain faithful to the Gospel unless it is camouflaged in a manicure party.
What do you think of the article? Do you think that the church perpetuates the problem of teen (and preteen and elementary school) divas? Record your comments.
The article (and your post) really hit the mark! My 10 1/2 year old daughter is overweight and it's been an ongoing struggle. I want her to be happy & healthy, but not obsessed with how she looks. Fortunately, we don't have the $$ to offer the expensive haircuts & clothing. She understands sacrifice, although as an only child, she gets more than she probably should.
As a youth leader, I pray that I can speak to the heart of my girls...and let them know that God looks beyond hairstyles and clothing, and that they are capable of doing the same.
I definitely think there is an "it's all about me" mentality that is being ushered in. There are many resources being published for women and girls ministry that have "spa themes", "beauty" themes...things that really are themed around OUR needs. I just wrote an article earlier this week about the growing Narcissism reaching all the way up to our colleged aged and younger.
Read more here: http://bit.ly/princessprob
I'm reading an interesting book about this right now by an author named Twenge. I haven't decided my opinion on the book but it is a good read so far: The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement
I am a little late in reading this post, but I just discovered this blog ... :). I couldn't be more in agreement with this idea that we can verge on facilitating the very thing that got Satan kicked out of heaven and Adam and Eve kicked out of the garden ... this idea that who we are and what we want is "by far better" and (to put in terms the girls in our ministries would say) "way more awesome" than anything that God IS or WANTS. Wow, the very brevity of that should wake us up in such a way that a banner begins to raised ... a movement away from entitlement and "band-aiding" symptoms ... replaced with humility inducing heart change.
To be honest, I think much of this boils down to laziness on our part as leaders. It is easier to have a fashion show, paint everyone's fingernails and send them on their with a "what part of princess don't you understand" notebook ... and report in staff meeting that we had 300 girls at our event ... than it is for us to begin establishing "let's do life together" discipleship based relationships, and start taking responsibility for the "older women training younger women" command we have been given in Christ.
I know that has been the beat of my heart for the past five years that I've had the privilege of doing girls ministry ... It's such a dangereous mixture that we feed them (often so unknowingly!) when we march around on stage giving them modesty rules and purity rules, all the while saying that they are princesses, fully entitled to all things ... at some point we have to offer them context for all these things. Rules are just rules with out the depth of relationship they are meant to be acted from ... and being a princess is just about entitlement if the idea that "with privilege comes great responsibility" isn't communicated properly.
"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Cor 5:20-21
So, are we Daughter's of the King, making us Princesses? Yes. As such we carry great responsibility ... we hold in our care the very message of redemption, the very character of Christ ... as if God was making His appeal through us! And, at what cost are we given this great role as Princess? The humility of Christ to lay aside all the privilege of deity and become nothing, taking on the form of a man and becoming obedient --even to death on the cross.
Our calling is to do the same, and THAT changes everything. Position with great responsibility and humility at how it was given. If we as leaders will take the time to communicate clearly the width and depth of relationship Christ died to restore with us ... it opens the door and lends it's self to further "now, how do I walk in this new identity?! How do I serve in the way I have been served in Christ? How do I love in the way I have been loved through Christ?" conversations, studies and events that will cause life change in our girls that require supernatural explanation ... and keep us from growing weary, or just plain getting lazy in our calling as leaders.
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