Everyone else has made a comment about the events surrounding Michael Jackson's life and death, so I guess here's my turn. It's a lot different than what you've seen on the news or the Internet.

I was in California this past week when I heard of MJ's death. I was there at a training event. About 250 women were there from all different kinds of backgrounds, ministries, church sizes, and personalities.

Nameless faces. Anonymous people. Silent warriors. Women who will never receive earthly recognition of the hours of work, pounds of sweat and tears, or heavy financial sacrifices they have made for the Kingdom.

It was such a surreal experience to be around those women at the same time the world was mourning the death of the King of Pop.

I was a youngish teen around the days of Thriller and Billy Jean. I remember the Moon Walk and the Gloved Hand and the Red Jacket. I can still quote the lyrics to the songs. I understand the world lost an important icon in music, but can I be very blunt?

In the big scheme of things, he was just a musician. A pioneer and a talent to be sure. But his legacy is nothing compared to the legacy that the women I met will leave behind.

Because when it's all said and done, MJ's work is wood, hay, and straw. The work and ministry and legacy I saw this weekend among a bunch of women who will forever remain in the shadows of the icons of this world is gold--pure gold.

I was only a few hours away from LA. I could have driven there (albeit it would have been a LONG drive) to experience "a part of history." But I wouldn't have traded my time with these ladies for anything. They reminded me of what's important.

Maybe this blog will help remind you of what's important, too.

How many of you have allergies? I know it is a weird question and not something you talk about everyday, but I’ve always been allergic to cats. And once again, that fact was confirmed at the vet’s office this morning.

I’m not sure why, but I always walk into the vet’s office wondering, “Am I still allergic to cats?” What a strange thought—is it possible to become “un-allergic?” Can you outgrow allergies? However, within five minutes I know my allergy to cats is alive and well and ready to show its power and ugly claws once again. The eyes start watering, the nose starts running, breathing becomes more difficult and the wheezing begins. (On me, not the cat.) Attractive, I know.

I’ve learned to look for cats and ask friends if they have cats in their homes. I’ve learned to prepare in advance and take my allergy medication before visiting those friends. And once I get there, you won’t find me sitting calmly holding a cat on my lap!

I wish I had such an adverse reaction to sin. Maybe if I had some type of strong allergic reaction to sin I could avoid its harmful consequences. I would be more diligent to take in stronger doses of God’s Word before entering situations where I know there are potential threats. I would be more aware of anything that might try to lure me in by its gentle purring. I would remember that just because it appears soft and cuddly, doesn’t mean there are not sharp claws that can strike in an instant. And I sure wouldn’t allow sin to sit in my lap! I would recognize it earlier and stay away.

I wish I had an allergy to selfishness, gossip, envy, strife, hatred, idolatry and all those other works of the flesh described in Galatians 5:19-21. But I don’t break out in hives when I hear a word of gossip and I don’t begin wheezing when I make a decision based on my own selfish motives. I must trust the power and presence of the Holy Spirit to guide and counsel me through those moments. And although there may not be any outward signs or allergic reactions, inside I am building up immunities to fight off those sinful habits and attitudes.

What causes an allergic reaction in your life? What are the signs that help you identify and trigger a fighting allergic reaction to sin? How are you working with girls in your church and ministry to help them build up an “allergic reaction” to sin?

So I had a little summer reunion with my small group girls earlier this week. Over sushi, we caught up on what’s going on in their lives, who’s been where on vacation, and the perils of tanning. I was touched that so many of them came. I honestly thought maybe two would show up, but we had a full table of seven.

Although concerned at the summer tops a few of the girls had on which showcased most of their chests, I was ecstatic and proud to hear one girl tell another her shirt was showing too much. I almost missed it, but I saw the girl adjusting her top with a sheepish look on her face and then say apologetically to me that she knew it was kind of (kind of?!) low-cut. I don’t think I even tried to hide my smile/glee at the fact that these girls were holding each other accountable. One of my less-attuned-to-reality girls said that she wasn’t worried about her low-cut top when it was pointed out by the other girls because “there was nothing to look at.” I quickly reminded her that just the suggestion of breasts was all a guy needed. (And we had examined this for an entire semester when we studied Insider last semester! Guess that didn’t really sink in as far as I’d hoped, at least with her.) Again, I got the sheepish look.

But all in all, I walked away encouraged. One, that my girls actually wanted to spend time with me outside of our Wednesday nights during the school year, and two, that some accountability and object lessons happened over dinner.

So, I have to know, what do YOU spend most of your time addressing with your girls? Take the poll below to let us know!

I read an article yesterday that I found quite interesting. The title was “Generation Diva,” and I initially thought it was going to be another article that talked about how we’re raising a generation of spoiled kids.

Yes, we’re raising a generation of divas, but this article doesn’t really harp on that problem. Instead, the article focuses on the beauty issues that girls are growing up facing and the subsequent impact on girls in the upcoming generation.

The thing I found most interesting in the article is this statement (but it doesn’t really deal with beauty):

“This is a group that's grown up on pop culture that screams, again and again, that everything, everything, is a candidate for upgrading.”

I hadn’t thought about it that way.

That single statement made me think about how that concept of upgrading might play itself out in girls’ ministry and the Church. The next event must be bigger and better than the last. The latest technology is a “must” for reaching kids. When our “old” Bible wears out (“old” is defined as being more than a year old), we purchase a new one. If a youth minister begins to get “old” (say, over 35), we begin to wonder if he’s past his prime instead of valuing his years of experience and perspective of ministry over the long haul.

Things of lasting value are rare. Simplicity is an anomaly.

I am just as guilty as mainstream culture. If I have a two-year-old computer, I lust over the newest, fastest, lightest model (I travel, so I like light!). I like a change in wardrobe. I constantly keep up with the latest things people are doing to reach teen girls. By itself, that doesn’t seem bad, but constantly looking ahead puts me on the treadmill of upgrading. That mindset doesn’t leave room to cultivate the truth that some things don’t change.

The Gospel doesn’t change—Jesus really did pitch his tent among us and did die in our place. God’s mercy or holiness or righteousness never needs upgrading. The wages of sin is death despite any upswing in inflation. The best method for reaching girls stays constant—love them.

Everything around us may be rapidly changing and "evolving for the better" (which I question on many levels!), but those truths remain the same.

I wonder what would happen in our churches and in our girls’ ministry if we purposely and methodically stepped away from the principle that everything is a candidate for upgrading. If we seriously evaluated events, programs, and approaches to see what really matters. I wonder how things would change if we focused on those things that have lasting, eternal value. And I wonder what would happen if we just stopping doing thing that result from of a commercialized, consumer mindset within our Christian culture.

I wonder whether we’re worshipping the idol of the Newest and Latest—and if we're teaching girls to do the same.

One of the most common questions I get in my work is, "What is girls' ministry, exactly?" Some are people I meet on airplanes who have no background in church. Others are interested people trying to get a grasp on the scope of what this ministry entails—is it for preteens? teens? school-age girls?

To help explain what girls' ministry is, it might be helpful to explain what girls' ministry is not.

Girls' ministry is NOT a stand alone program of the church. Girls' ministry must fit within the overall mission of the church and the student ministry. If you find that you are at odds with your student minister or your pastor because the girls' ministry is going in a different direction than the church, then there is a problem. The goal of girls' ministry is to function within body of faith in a way that connects girls to other generations as well as each other so that they grow in their relationship with God.

So how do you know if you're guilty of creating a stand-alone, Lone Ranger ministry to girls? Here are a few things to think about:

1. Does someone on church staff (like your youth minister) have to open the building an extra night of the week to accomodate the needs of your girls? Hosting periodic events is ok, but if your staff is forced to make arrangments for you week after week after week, then you may need to evaluate what you're doing. If you are adding work to other staff members instead of weaving your ministry into theirs, then reevaluate what you're doing.

2. Do your girls' events/Bible studies/small groups compete with what's going on in the student ministry or the church? Girls should never have to choose between working in Vacation Bible School or attending a Bible study or cook-out. Again, you need to find ways to weave girls' ministry into what is already going on in your ministry whenever possible. For example, Jimmie Davis, director of girls' ministry at FBC, Spartanburg, tells the story about how on a mission trip, the women on that trip gave the girls pedicures. While serving these girls, the women asked about the week and prayed for girls. This was a simple ministry to girls that didn't compete with anything (it was during free time) and allowed girls and women to connect.

3. Do you have the support of the pastor and/or student minister? If you are trying to "go behind their back" to get ministry done, then you seriously need to consider why you're doing ministry under the radar.

4. Does the staff member assigned to oversee girls' ministry have a clear understanding of your mission, stragegy and activities? If he or she is constantly in the dark about what's going on with the girls, then evaluate the reason. If it's a lack of communication, then work toward a solution. But if that staff member is in the dark because you're always doing stuff without his or her knowledge, then that's a red flag.

In future posts, I'll offer more clues to help you define what girls' ministry is NOT, and in doing so, help you shape your girls' ministry into a healthy, positive ministry.

I always feel kind of sorry for others when I’m in a reflective mood. I’ve been studying the Book of Jonah for a number of weeks and had a moment last week wondering if I was like Jonah. (Not the obedient, prophet part of Jonah, but the whiny baby side.)

You know the story. God gives Jonah a clear directive, “Get up! Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because their wickedness has confronted Me.” (Jonah 1:2) I’m not sure of all Jonah’s reasons, but he ran. It got me thinking. What are the directives from God that scare me? What brings so much fear that I would rather run than face it? Is there anything that I’m running from now?

You know how things continue to get worse when we run. If it is Jonah or us running from God is not good thing. And before you know it you feel trapped in the belly of a fish. You intended to run, avoid and ignore the problem. Then all of the sudden life is stinky fish guts and you are stuck in the middle of the muck. How many times have I been stuck like Jonah before I quit running from God?

Jonah eventually obeys God (Jonah 3:3) but instead of ending on a positive note Jonah is angry and bitter. Being in the reflective mode, I had to ask myself some questions. How often do I obey God but I’m not really happy about it? And how could I be so proud and arrogant to think I know better than God on anything?

So where is this going? Jonah messed up in the beginning and in the end, but he had his moment. He had that moment in time when he obeyed God. Sometimes we are afraid and we don’t obey God as quickly as we should. Sometimes we don’t have the best attitude even if we do obey God. Does Jonah remind you of any middle school or high school girls you know?

If anyone can have an attitude, it is a middle school or high school girl! And through those middle or high school years in particular, it is good to be able to point to an example of someone who messed up and disobeyed God. Then to be able to identify that defining moment (Jonah 3:3) when Jonah submitted to God’s authority over his life and obeyed. Even if Jonah didn’t get it right afterwards with his bad attitude, he had that moment of obedience that made a difference in the lives of over 120,000 people (Jonah 4:11).

Girls, young and old, need to know that no matter what we’ve done in the past or no matter how we may mess up in the future, God still has a plan for us. There may be days when we run. There may be days when we are angry or have a bad attitude. But there also may be those days when we obey God, get it right and make a difference in the lives of those around us. God has defining moments planned for each of us (Eph. 2:10). Today I am going to look for the obedient Jonah and the defining moments…and try my hardest to avoid the whiny baby! How is your attitude today?

Yesterday I had the opportunity to listen to a duo called the Sonflowerz. They performed at an event called Atlanta Fest, which is a three-day music festival that plays hosts to big names, up-and-coming artists, and music for pretty much every taste. The kicker is this: it's all outdoors. Atlanta. In the summer. In the sun and the heat and the humidity.

Why am I blogging about this? Because after watching them perform in the heat, sign merchandise in the humidity, pose for pictures with people who were as sweaty as they were, and listen to stories from people they'd never met before and will probably never meet again, I came away with one impression: these girls have a heart for ministry.

I got to talk with them after the concert. I found out about their background (they are sisters, by the way) and their passion for reaching girls.They were sincere. They were transparent. They were humble. They were funny.

I am always on the look-out for role models for teen girls. After meeting Becca and Elissa (who are older than they look!), I can add this duo to my reference list. I came away from my encounter knowing that they are followers of Christ first and foremost. Music is their avenue of service. Unfortunately, sometimes that's a rare find. I'm glad I "found" them.

What about you? What Christian artists have you found as role models for teen girls?

What is man that you remember him,
 the son of man that You look after him? —Psalm 8:4

Does God ever boggle your mind?

Frequently, when I’m in a large crowd of people, I’m struck by the fact that God knows each and every person in that crowd. Sure, they may not know Him, but He knows each person’s name, deepest secrets, Social Security number, biggest fears, and highest hopes. He knows where they’re from, whom they love, and who loves them. He knows how often their heart beats, when they’ll die, and where they’re going next (even though they may not!). He doesn’t get confused or forget this information.

Whether I’m at an airport, at church, or at a concert, I’m struck by the fact that God is intimately acquainted with and loves each person there. I love to people-watch, and I consider myself pretty observant. But I could never hope to get to know all those people, and yet I worship the God who already does know them.

This doesn’t just apply to big crowds, either. When I look at the girls in our student ministry, there always seems to be a few that I just can’t get to know. They won’t open up and share. They’re like a mystery to me. But not to God.

I get a little overwhelmed at how He keeps it all straight. I mean, I can barely keep me straight. And once again, I’m so grateful that He is God, and I am not. I’m thankful that the One who knows all, knows me—everything about me. But it's not just people that He's so familiar with. He also understands physics and the Constitution and every language spoken on the planet. My little finite brain can’t compute the reaches of His knowledge. (I’ve always liked how God asserts His intelligence in the Book of Job.)

It’s that harsh juxtaposition of His capabilities versus mine that drives me to worship.

What about our God causes you to fall to your knees (or to at least acknowledge) that He is worthy of your worship?

At our You and Your Girl events, we often survey our preteen girls to discover the kinds of questions they are asking. We told them they could ask God a question or ask us a question about God.

While some of their questions are pretty funny, others reveal a generation that needs answers. I thought I’d share some of the most intruiging questions they asked:

If God knows everything about me, is he ever surprised with my actions?

If, when God created the world (it was perfect), then why did he create the devil?

Why do Hope and Tori fight all the time?

Why does he make people?

Can you please explain the rapture? (if you can explain it to a preteen, please tell me!)

What did I do to deserve to be forgiven?

Why is Shelby being mean to me?

There were lots of questions about what God looks like. Girls wanted to know if God had a beard. Or if he wore tennis shoes (I’ve always pictured sandals myself). They wanted to know if God had a middle name.

In some form or another, girls asked one question more than any other:

Why doesn’t God show Himself?

What I sense underneath this question is the need to see a glimpse of God doing the miraculous, somehow making an appearance in their complicated, confusing, constantly changing world. I know they feel sometimes like God is somewhere out there, hiding behind the highest cloud. I’ve felt that way myself sometimes. They need some reminder, some tangible assurance that they’re not alone in this thing called life.

What they don’t understand is that God has shown Himself—through Jesus. And He still shows Himself—through us.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that we should be set up on some idolizing pedestal. Nor am I advocating a codependent relationship whereby girls become attached to us instead of the Savior. And I’m definitely not insinuating that you and I must somehow attain some sort of legalistic standard perfection that we expect girls to follow.

What I am saying is this: when we reaching out to girls with God’s love, they are seeing a tiny fractal of God’s relentless pursuit of them (Luke 15:11-32).

When we stand by their sides in the midst of their worst pain, we echo the voice of God who counts their tears (Ps. 56:8).

When we enjoy spending time with them at softball games, prom preparation, lock-ins, and mission trips, we remind them that Jesus didn’t spend all of His time at the synagogue (John 2:1-11).

When we assure them that no mistake they make is beyond the reach of God’s forgiveness, we are the voice of God encouraging them to return to Him (Joel 2:12-13). 

While girls may not recognize the hand of God working through us, it makes all the difference for us to know that we are somehow a part of a mosaic that girls can later reflect on and realize that God was there all along.

 







 

Recently, I read an article from one of those magazines you find in the back seat of an airplane. It talked about one woman who took $15,500 and in her own way was changing the world. She used the money to help women in India living on a dump. Yes, literally living on the dump outside Delhi, picking through the trash to feed and support their children. She used that $15,500 to help a group of these mothers open a small grocery store teaching them financial independence. And the money was contingent upon the mothers sending their daughters to school and breaking the cycle of poverty and illiteracy. (American Way, June 1, 2009, p. 96)

This week a friend of mine is leaving for her first international mission trip to Africa with her oldest daughter. A little over one year ago she felt God was leading her to start a small business creating t-shirts and jewelry so she could send the profits to this village in Africa. Now she is getting to see and meet in person those she has been ministering to long distance for over a year.

Yesterday my oldest daughter left for her first mission trip without mom and dad. I only asked her once if she wanted to go to one of the poorest counties in Alabama and work with a church teaching Vacation Bible School and she immediately said yes. Why did she say “yes” to a mission trip so quickly? Why did my friend start a business to help people she doesn’t even know? And why would a woman care if children in another country were educated?

They say “yes” and help and care and love because Jesus loved them first (1 John 4:19). And they say “yes” because they trust God to take their small offering of time or money and turn it into something great.

I am no Bill Gates or Warren Buffet. Right now I doubt I have $5 in my purse! But, these examples and so many others like them remind me that you don’t have to be rich to a make a difference. You don’t have to be rich to change the world.

What are you doing to change the world? How are you helping those in your girls’ ministry this summer to trust God and turn their little into much for Him? What ministries and missions does your church use to love others and make a difference in our world?

I love weddings.

I mean, I really, really love 'em. The flowers, the food, the dress, the music . . . I think I pay way more attention than most guests.

But three weddings in two weeks is a little exhausting. Actually, I can’t really say it’s exhausting because I haven’t run the gauntlet of two-weddings-in-less-than-24-hours quite yet. (That happens this weekend.) Did I mention that the two weddings are really far apart? As in, one’s in Ohio, and the other is in Mississippi. Yeah, that’s going to require a plane ride.

Oh, the things we do for love—or in this case, other people’s love.

Kind of like God. Of course, He has the advantage of being everywhere at once, so He could skip the plane ride. (But He won’t, because I make it a point to talk to God on planes . . . something about feeling a little closer to heaven while being up that high really makes me want to pray. That, and the threat of death by plane crash at any moment.)

As I study our God’s unique love and what He'll do for those He loves, I get a little impatient with His patience in the Old Testament. I kind of want Him to zap the Israelites for their inability to be loyal to Him. He made water come out of rocks and fed them when there was nothing to eat and made their enemies cry like little girls. Come on, guys; show some backbone and demonstrate some faithfulness!!

Oh no, I realize. I’m just like the Israelites. I forget about talking to God when I get busy; secretly wish some people would hurry up and get what’s coming to them—preferably in public so I can watch; and routinely avoid the homeless people on the sidewalk. (And yes, those things bother me, and I’m not proud to admit them.) So I don’t really deserve His lovingkindness either.

But He gives it anyway, over and over again.

And it’s my responsibility to try to emulate Him in that. So when one of my girls continues to distract the others during small group week after week and I want to ask her to not come back, I need to work even harder to love her and handle the situation the best way, not the easy way. When rumors of one of my girls getting wild on the weekends come back to me, I need to talk with her about that, not just hope her parents are in control of that situation. And when my girls are being completely unlovable, I need to remember how faithfully God loves them (and me!) and try to show them His love with my actions.

It’s a big job, but someone’s got to do it. And I’m so honored to get to serve our girls along with women like YOU.  Never underestimate your impact!

Happy Weekend! :)

by Faith Whatley

Thirteen high school girls = Lots of drama
Helping girls navigate through their high school years = Time and prayer
Watching them grow up grounded in the Lord = Priceless

My name is Faith Whatley, and I have been working with high school girls for four years at Gladeville Baptist Church. And the Lord has blessed every minute. 

I cherish so many special moments, but I especially cherish our recent Senior Send Off.

Our seniors hold a special place in our hearts. We started girl's ministry at our church exactly four years ago, so the girls in this group were freshman at the time. Not only did we have them for their entire high school journey, but they invested as much as we did by attending and participating. They allowed us into their lives.
 

Pictured are nine of the girls who participated in our Senior Send Off, which started with a Life Walk. We met at our church, and each leader had been assigned a particular topic to talk about—prayer, friends, God's Word, godly guys, determination, worthiness, balance, etc. Each leader spent 10 minutes privately with each girl sharing some special insights. Leaders purchased a small token to present to each girl during their discussion so girls would be reminded of what was said in the years to come.  My small group leaders took this very seriously and did a great job. The girls loaded up with gifts, but what was most important were the nuggets of wisdom they received from someone they trusted.

After the Life Walk, we hosted a Miss Teen USA Murder Mystery Party. We ordered the kit online and assigned each girl a character that really fit her personality. As leaders, we decided to let the girls participate in the mystery party, but we would come dressed as Miss Teen "has beens". Besides laughing so hard that our stomachs hurt, we learned even more about our girls. They are actresses! Pictured are the girls dressed up in their prom dresses as a certain Miss Someone.  Also pictured are my crazy adult leaders who came ready to join the fun.

I told each leader that it was nice for the girls to thank us (which they did over and over again), but the greatest joy was seeing the wise choices (not always!) they made during their high school years and knowing that each one of them knows the Lord and is grounded in her faith. As their leaders, we don't have to speculate about where they are spiritually because we have walked this journey with them. 
 

If you are wondering if what you are doing is making a difference, keep this in mind: even if it is ministering to one girl, your ministry is having an impact. God is faithful and is doing a work in each girl you love.  All He calls you to do is love them. He will take care of the rest.

by Lauren Farmer

At a recent trip to the bookstore, I picked up Essential Church by Thom and Sam Rainer to be my newest summer read. I had researched the book and read the reviews so I was fairly confident in what I was buying—a book about church dropout among young adults ages 18-22. As I read through the pages, however, I realized that this book was as much about youth ministry as it was about church dropout among young adults.

Without a doubt, many of the challenges we face reaching and ministering to collegiates and young adults directly stems from one’s upbringing and experience in the church as an adolescent. Here’s the deal … by the time students get to college, the stage has already been set in many regards. Beliefs about themselves, God, the church, and the world around them have been shaped during their pre-teen and teenage years.

When a student steps onto a college-campus for the first time, opinions to questions such as, “Is church important to me?” and “Do I need to go to church to have a right relationship with God?” have already been formed to one extent or another. With today’s statistics showing that most of those who leave the church do so between the ages of 17 and 19, there is a huge need for our churches to take another look at this age group.
   
So what does this mean for girls’ ministry? It means that girls’ ministry is more important than ever! It means that work you do with middle school and high school girls matters! Girls’ ministry makes a difference in girls’ lives … not just in the present but in the future as well. For better or worse, the beliefs, values and worldview that girls develop during their middle and high school years will be the foundation on which they make important life decisions about their faith and the church during their college and young adult years.

While some might see this as putting an exorbitant amount of pressure on parents, youth ministers, and girls’ ministry leaders, I see it as an opportunity, a responsibility, and a privilege. We have an opportunity to minister to girls during the critical and life-shaping stage of adolescence, as well as, a responsibility as “older women” (whether you are 25 or 85) to teach and invest in the lives of women who are younger than us (Titus 2:3-6). But most of all, we have a privilege . . . the privilege of loving and ministering to girls who are deeply loved by God, girls who are trying to figure out life and the world around them, girls who are hurting and trying every means they can find to make the pain go away, girls who are in desperate need of the of the redemption and life that can be only be found in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

As girls’ ministry leaders, we get to be a part of God’s work in raising up the next generation of women and preparing them to enter adulthood. So when you think you can’t take another 6th grade girls slumber party (I’ve been there!) or the drama that ensues as three girls in your ministry fight over one guy, remember this… what you do matters!

Lauren Farmer is a recent seminary graduate and transplant to the Nashville area. She has a passion for young women and the church. She loves to laugh, spend time with family and friends, travel the world, curl up with a good book, and drink Diet Coke.

by Jimmie Davis

If you really want to start a diverse discussion, ask this question among girls’ ministers: what is really important in girls’ ministry?

Is it boosting a girl’s self esteem?

Is it convincing her to dress modestly?

Is it teaching her she is a princess? 

Is it teaching abstinence?

I was searching online this week and simply Googled “girls ministry.” There were tons of new sites and lots of opinions on what is important in girls’ ministry. There are enough ideas out there (I just wrote a book full of them) to keep us painting nails and hosting “what not to bare” fashion shows until Jesus comes back. But what is really important? 

Jesus used things that people knew—fish, nets, water, bread, sheep—to teach spiritual truth. We must do the same for girls, but sometimes we go too far and lose the message in the midst of the methodology. I want to know how to reach this generation for Jesus. I’m open to new ideas, but what is important?

I’m still searching and praying over that question. I’ve been involved in girls’ ministry for many years (I won’t say how many) and don’t have the final answer, but I have come to a few conclusions.

Girls need relationships with genuine, authentic Christian women, who love God with all their hearts. Not perfect women by any means, but women who love God and love girls right where they are. Women who are willing to look past the way girls dress, how many tattoos they have, their pink and green hair, and see straight into girls’ hearts. They need to walk beside us as we go through life. They need to see us fall and get up, forgive and be forgiven, worship, serve, and grow.

They need to know Truth and how it applies to their lives, and that comes through studying God’s Word and prayer. 

Is modesty important?  Absolutely. Is abstinence important? You better believe it is. But building a genuine relationship with a girl and allowing her to see how you love God and how you love her will pave the way for Jesus Christ to transform her life. This is the foundation for making a disciple who will become a discipler.

I’m still on a journey of trying to understand how to focus on the important things in girls’ ministry. I don’t have it all figured out yet, so I would love to know what you have discovered on your journey.

What are your thoughts about what is important in girls’ ministry? Let us know with your comment below!

Jimmie Davis is a long-time veteran of girls’ ministry. She lives what she writes about through her work at FBC, Spartanburg, SC. She’s also authored two books for LifeWay: Girls’ Ministry Handbook and Girls’ Ministry Idea Book. Most of all, she’s passionate about reaching girls, both this generation and the ones yet to come.
 

 “If the God we serve exists, then He can rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire, and He can rescue us from the power of you, the king. But even if He does not rescue us, we want you as king to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up.”  Daniel 3:17-18 (italics mine)

It is hard to believe that I have read these two verses daily since sometime in February. Yeah…you heard correctly, every day for four months. Really, not that much time in the big scheme of things, but a significant amount of time spent on two verses.

You know the story of Daniel’s friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3. They placed God’s authority over that of King Nebuchadnezzar and were challenged and tested. Would they really stay faithful and only worship, serve and obey their unseen God? Did they truly believe in God’s power over any other power or authority in the seen world? When challenged by the king and threatened with the blazing furnace would their faith in God remain firm and intact?

Yes, yes and yes. But why would any relatively normal person read these two verses daily for months?

But even if…

• You plan something with passion and excellence and then the number of girls attending is half what you hoped for
• What was intended as an outreach event turns into an event with all church members and no one brings a friend
• The economy is rough and giving at church is down and decisions are being made on what to keep and what to cut
• Excellent employees are losing their jobs because the budget just isn’t there and many people are facing experiences and hardships they’ve never known before
• The girl you mentored is making poor decisions and you see her pulling further away from God with every choice
• The friend you’ve shared with and prayed for says she still doesn’t know if she  wants to the make a commitment to Christ

“But even if” there are days when ministry and life are not what you expected or hoped for—you still plan, prepare, minister, encourage, and remain faithful to what God has called you to do. (And you continue to read, memorize, and meditate on two verses for four months!)

Now you fill in the blank. What is your “But even if?” What are the challenges you are facing in ministry or in life?

Let’s face it…life is sometimes hard. Even those in ministry will experience days when they feel the heat of the blazing fire. Just inches away from our hearts and minds are those gold statues and false gods that threaten to overwhelm us, deceive us, tempt us and quench the Holy Spirit in our lives.

“But even if He does not rescue us…we will not serve your gods or worship the gold statue…”  (Dan. 3:18) So if we are going to be thrown in the fire for a period of time, today let’s face it together. Let’s commit to pray for one another and head to the furnace allowing the blazing fire to refine us—burning away the impurities as we continue to die to ourselves and become all that He created us to be.

So, wherever you are serving and ministering today, know that someone is praying for you. And even better, Jesus is walking with you and standing beside you in the fire.  

I am following my friend Emily's advice. I'm leaving tomorrow with my family for a restful (is that possible with a three year old?) vacation next week.

Before we leave the house at 5 a.m. tomorrow (yeah right, like that's gonna happen) for an eight-hour drive (someone, please hit me over the head) to the beach for some much needed relaxation (minus the struggles with my bathing suit), I wanted to let you know about my friends who will be blogging in my absence. They all come from different places in ministry—from long tenures to newly-launched into ministry.

Jimmie Davis is a pioneer. She was doing girls' ministry long before it was ever called that. She has a  background in ministry that includes work with her husband Sam, who is now the Associate Pastor of First Baptist Church, Spartanburg, South Carolina. Jimmie serves as the Director of Girls' Ministries there. I love Jimmie's heart for teen girls and her love for anyone who works with girls. Although she has been at this a long time, she is eager to learn from others, still maintains a tender heart and a sense of humor, both of which are which are difficult to keep in long-term ministry!

Lauren Farmer is relatively new to girls' ministry. A newly graduated seminary student, Lauren has a passion and heart for girls. She constantly challenges my thinking and helps me maintain authenticity in my approach to ministry. She doesn't come from a Christian background, so she offers a unique perspective to reaching girls who don't come through our doors with a heritage of faith.

Faith Whatley wears lots of different hats—mom, Sunday School teacher, girls' ministry leader, and director of Training and Events at LifeWay (whew!). She has been an adamant advocate for girls' ministry for years, which has been an encouragement to me in my work here. I love listening to her talk about things going on in her church. She and her team are so creative in their approach to girls. I've asked her to blog about her church's "Senior Send-Off", a special time of helping girls commemorate this huge milestone and to remember important aspects of their faith. I think you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed hearing about it.

Blessings to you. I'll be back in a week, hopefull with a better tan. 

By the way, the bathing suit I posted on my previous blog is not the one I bought.

So I’m doing Beth Moore’s Esther with a group of awesome twenty-somethings. I love the text, I love the girls, and I love the fact that we only meet every other week (to allow us enough time to do all that “homework”).
 

As I was working through a part of session three today, I was struck by the perfection of God’s timing. Despite working on the girls’ Bible study Esther: The Role of a Lifetime last year, I hadn’t really dug into every verse, as Beth is leading us to do. I’m at the (previously rather-unexciting-and-mundane) part where the royal secretaries have been summoned and the death sentence for the Jews is being delivered to everyone in the Persian empire.

But I’d never noticed before that the Jews’ first whiff of the doom awaiting them was inhaled on none other than Passover. While they were celebrating the deliverance from Egypt, they got word of their own desperate need for more rescuing. To be dealt such a blow while remembering the God who saved His people before—how would you handle it? I’m not sure how I would have responded then, but it put me in tears this morning.

In what Haman intended for absolute evil, God was already at work. And by allowing the message to be delivered on a day when His people’s minds were already focused on His faithfulness, I think He was telling them to remember that He’d done it before and could do it again. Talk about an opportunity for your faith to shine!

But how often do I let the enemy’s attacks weigh on me without even looking for where God is working? I don’t know about you, but I forget to remember His faithfulness. I wonder if the girls in our ministries today are even aware of where He's been faithful to them. I assume I’m on my own, and today’s little lesson from Esther reminded me that I am most certainly not. I feel challenged to make sure others (especially our precious girls) know that they're not on their own either.

Today, I’m basking in the fact that I worship this God who has been (and will be) so faithful. I hope you are too!

 

I know many of you, when you read the title of this blog, heaved a deep sigh of understanding. I shared this news with a friend of mine and she said, "oh, I'm so sorry!"'

This drawn-out process of torture actually began several weeks ago. My husband and I had a weekend away for our anniversary, and so I thought it was a perfect time to look for a suit. No children. Good moral support.

I don't know how many stores I went to. Must have been at least 500. All of them had either bikinis with less cotton than is contained in an aspirin bottle, or had those "grandma" swimsuits—lots of big orchids plastered all over and complete with a frilly tutu-like skirt to hide struggling thighs.

I finally found a place that had bathing suits my own age and body type. Still, it was torture. For the 30 minutes that I tried on suits, the thoughts running through my head were painful enough and wounding enough to make a even the most confident woman weak in the knees and in the spirit.

So why share this?

First, I think it's important for us as girls' leaders to recognize that we struggle with our own body image just like girls do. Now, I'm what statistics would call "average" as a woman's size. But of course, that's not good enough. On a good day, I'm ok with being average. On a bad day, I swear that I'll join the Y, hop back on Weight Watchers, and I compare myself with every skinny girl who is half my size (and probably half my age, too.)

Second, I think it's a good reminder that this season isn't just about modesty. While we often harp all over girls for their bikinis, (if they need some modest swim wear, let them check out www.limericki.com/) we forget that they are struggling with body image issues of their own. They're constantly bombarded by images that they could never measure up to. If I struggle with my own body image, how much more do teenage girls, given the constant pressure that they are under to look fantastic in a piece of clothing that no one would look good in unless she ate one meal a day and worked out four hours a day!

This summer, take some time to talk with girls about body image. Challenge their thinking. Help them evaluate what voices their listening to. Remind them about health and balance, not obsession. And in the process, maybe you'll be helping yourself.

How are you dealing with your own issues related to how you view your body? How do those internal issues surface as you work with girls?

 As summer begins at our home there are several key phrases I continue to hear-- “Can I invite a friend over?” “Can I go to (fill in any girl name here)’s house?” “Can I take someone with us?” Wherever we are going and whatever we are doing, all three of my girls want to have a friend with them.

What is it about girls and their friends? Why are relationships and friendships so significant to them?

I recently read an article about 11 women who had maintained a childhood friendship who are now in their mid-forties. [To read the entire article click here.] It talked about their friendship and how now they all live in different parts of the country but still maintain close relationships. Several things struck me about this group of women and their lifelong friendship. In their adult lives they’ve moved and found newer friends in their different communities. But these more recent friendships are built around their families, jobs, or current interests and communities. The bonds are limited to the here and now of their lives.

When one of the women was asked by some of her newer friends what she still has in common with these old childhood friends, she answered, “We root each other to the core of who we are, rather than what defines us as adults—by careers or spouses or kids. There’s a young girl in each of us who is still full of life. When we’re together, I try to remember that.’

Friendships are important. The Bible is full of scriptures that speak to the significance of friends and maintaining friendships throughout our lives. For example, friends are those people we can trust to be honest with us for our own good, even if we don’t want to hear the truth! (Proverbs 27:6, 9)

There’s a Spanish proverb that says: “Tell me who you’re with and I’ll tell you who you are.” Not God’s Word but significant words to think on. Who are my girls with? Who are they spending time with? How many of those girls have a relationship with Jesus? And how many of them will influence and challenge my girls to grow in their relationship with Jesus?

As I spend more time with my girls and their friends this summer I’m reminded how friendships influence and enhance our lives. And once again, I am convinced Girls Ministry is vital to the health and growth of girls. If my girls are going to spend time with other girls all summer, what better place than in my home or with other girls at church. These are the friendships that are connected by Christ and these are the relationships that I want to last for a lifetime!