I was different and you looked the other way

I hate it when I get busted by my own four-year-old daughter.

This afternoon the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but the first three digits indicated it was from my small town, so I answered. That's where my busting began.

"Who is this?" the man shouted gruffly into the phone. No hello. No nicities. And then I recognize the voice. Oh man, I think, I wish I'd have let the machine pick it up. My mistake.

The man on the other end of the line is a harmless 50-something with developmental disabilities, the most annoying to me is his lack of social skills. He's a member of my mother-in-law's church (which is the church my husband grew up in), so every time we visit, I come face-to-too-close-face with him. Social skill issue #1--he doesn't understand giving people physical space.

Then, as if his face in mine wasn't bad enough, there is social skill issue #2--he hugs. A lot. Not side by side, but cheek to stubble-covered-in-spotty-places-because-he-can't-shave-well cheek. He holds on that extra few seconds too long, making you feel completely uncomfortable. And following the hug is the discussion, which initiates social skill issue #3--his speech.

Half the time I can't understand him. He barks instead of talking, and he has trouble pronouncing some words. The combined effect of his disabilities is my discomfort. And I often respond to him like many people when faced with a similar situation---I completely avoid him if at all possible.

Now that you know the background, on to the story.

I hand the phone to my husband as quickly as possible. They begin talking. And then my daughter asks the famous question that is asked whenever we're on the phone:

"Who is that Mommy?"

When I tell her, she squeals with delight and exlaims, "oh, daddy, can I talk to Keith? Pllllleeeeeaaassseeee, can I talk to Keith? Please? Please?"

I hate it when I get busted by my daughter. In that moment, she showed more love and compassion toward Keith than I ever have. She doesn't know he's socially awkward. She doesn't know he can't shave his face right. He doesn't know he barks instead of speaking. She just knows that he is a nice man from Grammy's church who hugs her and takes up the offering every Sunday. She hasn't been jaded by experience or socialized into treating others based on their external value. She just knows how to love people.

So how does this apply to girls' ministry? (my husband asked me that question when I told him I was going to blog about Keith.)

There are lots of Keiths in our girls' ministries. Girls who are socially awkward. Girls who are physically awkward. Girls who are petrified to pray outloud. Girls who haven't been taught how to put on makeup or how to make and be a friend. Girls who are starving for attention and cling to you out of desperation. Girls who don't own an iPod, cell phone, or designer clothes. In fact, they own hand-me-downs. They make us uncomfortable because we don't know how to relate to them. And if we're brutally honest, we treat them like I treated Keith.

We avoid them. They're the last ones we call when we are checking on our girls. They're the last ones we want to sit with at the restaurant. They're the ones we secretly hope don't come early because we're not in the mood to sit down and listen to them.

Being busted today reminded me of that passage in Scripture that says, "For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you took care of Me; I was in prison and you visited Me." (Matt. 25).

I think if Jesus were alive today, He might say something like, "I was different than you, so you looked the other way."