That’s right—“I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.” This is the quote on the sticky notes I purchased for myself earlier this year.
You see I am a recovering people pleaser. Honestly, I can’t help myself. I really do want people to be happy. I want to see smiling faces. Deep inside I truly want people to get along with one another. And I really do want world peace! Sadly, I can’t always have my way.
One thing I have definitely figured out is that I can’t please everyone. No matter how hard I try or how badly I want it to be so, there is always at least one person (or several hundred) who will not be satisfied. So, I am getting over it and moving on in life by using sticky notes to remind me that it is ok if I don’t please everyone all the time.
Unfortunately, some of those people pleasing tendencies still linger and I’m afraid I often set a bad example for others. I will say “yes” to something that I really don’t have time to do. I will complete a task to please someone else when I am really not happy with it. Or I may actually say “no” but then worry that I hurt someone’s feelings or that I’ve put them in a bind.
As I watch my girls and their friends involved in different activities and in conversations, I can identify the people pleasers pretty quickly. (It takes one to know one!) Even more interesting is the way they’ve learned to be people pleasers. I know I am guilty of pushing my daughters to look or act a certain way so they will fit in or so other people will like them. Without even realizing it at the time, always wanting them to fit in and be liked by others is part of that people pleasing mentality. Think about it—how many of your mothers did this to you? And what other ways do we push the people pleasing agenda? Do we push for compromise over conviction? Do we ask for tolerance instead of asking for truth?
I’m afraid in the process of wanting our girls to fit in and to be liked by others we’ve set an unattainable goal for them. We’ve set them up for failure. We’ve set them up to develop all our quirks of feeling insecure and like they can’t please anyone! OK maybe not we, maybe just me!
Which brings me back around to the sticky note quote, “I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.” Although this quote sounds a little sarcastic (and I’m sure it was intended to be), in my head it makes perfect sense. If I am going to only please one person per day, who is it going to be?
Galatians 1:10 Paul asks, “For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ.”
We become slaves and servants to whoever’s approval we are trying to win. So if I am only going to please one person a day, I am going to try and please Jesus. Easy to say it, but can I really do it? What happens the next time someone questions my decision or choice? How do you live to please Jesus and not worry about what others think about it?
Thank you so much for your words Michelle. As a fellow people pleaser I needed to be reminded that Christ is the only one I need to please!