As I signed out of my e-mail account yesterday, I was redirected to MSN.com. Staring me in the face was a headline about a model who was fired for being “too fat.” I really thought we’d moved past this, America. I thought we’d yelled and boycotted enough to get the unrealistic images off our magazines and out of our ads. But apparently not. This model (a size 4 who’s 5’10” and 120 pounds) found out about the disgustingly skinny body she’d been given through the magic of photo editing software around the time she’d been dismissed from an 8-year career modeling for a fashion designer.
Interesting how Lauren Farmer had just blogged about body image earlier this week. Obviously, this is a problem that’s not going away any time soon. Now moms, consumers, critics, and anyone else with an opinion are weighing in, mostly out of sympathy for the model and concern for the message being sent.
Strangely enough, girls know those images they see presented in the media aren’t real. And yet most of them still think they should at least try to attain that look—whether it’s acne-free skin, no cellulite, skinny arms and legs, flat stomachs, good makeup, whatever. I know. I’ve been there, quoting Psalm 139 and saying that I knew God knit me together in my mother’s womb just the way He wanted, yet lamenting the shape of my legs and my lack of cleavage. And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who knew that the loving God created me, yet I couldn't stand His creation (or at least parts of it).
So what’s a girl (and her leader) to do? You can probably identify the girls in your group struggling with their body image who need encouraging. What kind words will you offer them this week? I don’t know about you, but I think Mark Twain nailed it when he said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Since words of affirmation are one of my love languages, I respond well to positive words. I imagine some of your girls do too. I recall several positive comments from people during high school that helped me fight the hatred and discontentment raging in my mind over how a part of me looked. Despite the way I saw myself, I knew that he or she thought I was normal and beautiful, and that seemed to help me.
But affirming words won’t work every time, nor are they getting to the heart of the matter. The truth is, we’re never satisfied. It’s a sad but constant part of the human condition that goes beyond body image. So how do we help girls recognize and overcome it? Paul talks in Philippians about being content no matter the situation. That’s easier said than done, right? Especially when you’re a girl somewhere between the ages of 12 and 18 (or any age, really), and you’re spending a lot of your time comparing yourself to others. I think that’s where the battle truly lies: the comparison. If we think we’re better than someone else, it leads to pride. If we think someone else is better than us, it leads to negative and possibly harmful behavior.
So the battle is in our minds. For some women, it’s going to rage their whole lives through. But the Holy Spirit has the power to break the stronghold of comparing ourselves to others—be they real women we know or the airbrushed versions of women we see in the media. So here’s what I’m going to do about it, and I hope you’ll join me. I’m memorizing Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ”
Using these qualities to filter our thoughts and teaching the girls in our ministries to do the same isn’t a new idea. But are you putting it into practice? Let us hear from you!
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