Making New Friends

And the adventure begins...

Last night was the first meeting for "family group" with high school girls at our home. It was pouring down rain, so I was glad I went with the "don't even try to clean everything every week before they get here philosophy" for the year. Good decision and much less stressful.

I did forget in my haste to throw things together how much high school girls can eat when they are not around guys! Or maybe they were just hungry...anyway, we are off. Wasn't sure if it was the best start, but a start.

The most interesting thing of the night was after the girls left and I sat down to read these information cards we had them complete. They were your basic get to know you cards with pretty generic questions: Name, address, cell phone, texting?, birthday, what is your favorite food and so forth. However, my greatest surprise came with the questions, "Why did you sign up for family groups?" and "What do you want to get out of this year together?" The overwhelming response was "make new friends." I don't know why, but it wasn't what I expected.

Although the girls range in age from freshmen to seniors, they all go to the same church. They are all in the same high school ministry at that church. They go on the same retreats, to the same worship services, and usually at least see one another several times a week. Aren't they friends already?However, as I continue to ponder this hope for "making new friends" I sense what they are saying.

There are a number of people that I am in contact with each week at church. We experience the same worship experiences, study the Bible together, and communicate weekly. But there is something deeper that I want and have with only some of those people. It is a level of connection, an honesty and trust, that is richer and fuller than simply being together and doing church together. They are what I love to refer to as "soul sisters." They are those friends who know me beyond the surface of the day to day. They are the friends that I do life with. They are the ones I can really share my struggles with and know they care. They are the ones who truly will pray for me when I ask and even when I don't.

And so now I'm thinking, "How do you make new friends?" Can you really "make" girls friends in a group like this? I know there are some connections and relationships in life you can't force. What are some ways to create community and trust? How do you help girls understand that honesty and vulnerability opens the door for others to share their fears, failures, and hopes?

What are some great questions you use with community or small groups? What are some activities that promote trust and honest and all the deeper characteristics of friends? How would you help a group like these girls to make new friends and be the friends to others that God would want them to be?