During the Thanksgiving holidays I had the rare opportunity to go to dinner with our middle school minister and his wife. Although I see them weekly, they usually have hoards of students surrounding them (mine included) and conversations jump from Bible study and student activities related to church to ball games and other random topics.
I’m not sure if it was the Thanksgiving season or something I ate, but at one point during our dinner I sensed this emotion somewhere between “I love you so much” and “How could we raise our daughters without the two of you?!” Without becoming too sappy I tried to express my appreciation for the influence this precious couple have had and are still having upon our daughters. I really wanted our middle school minister to hear more than I could express through words what a great girls’ minister he is. I wanted to thank him for caring for our girls and all the other girls who find themselves in our middle school ministry during those rough sixth, seventh, and eighth grade years.
As we talked throughout dinner my mind and our conversation turned to the importance of male student ministers and their influence on girls and girls’ ministry. Sometimes it would be easier to separate the girls and guys during those middle school years…guys with the male leaders, girls with the females. But I guess that would just be putting off the inevitable.
Middle school is a critical time for girls when many of their perceptions are formed related to guys, friendships, dating, and relationships in general. The girls are becoming young women and need significant male role models setting the example and standards for those guy/girl relationships.
So, what makes a male student minister a great girls’ minister? Here are a few things I came up with:
- Girls need godly men in their lives. There are a lot of girls who don’t have a Christian father, grandfather, brother, uncle, teacher, or neighbor setting the standard of what it means to be a man obediently following Christ. Girls need to see men who are faithfully living out the character of Jesus.
- Girls need to hear a male perspective. Many times males and females will give the same response and have much in common. Other times we think differently. We act and respond differently. Sometimes getting the male perspective helps take some of the drama out of the situation!
- Girls need to know that their student minister cares about every student, not just the guys. Student ministers need to set boundaries with the girls in their group, (avoiding the appearance of evil, inappropriateness and all that), but they also have an opportunity to let girls know they are valued and important to Christ and His church. There are situations where girls need to be ministered to and mentored by women. But there are many circumstances where girls just need to know there is a man who cares and wants the best for her life.
What do you think? How do you see the male leadership in your church ministering to girls? How can we help male student ministers see the importance of girls’ ministry and be part of it?
This is such a great topic! I have actually just started doing some research on this topic and I would love any other information you have gathered! Do you know of any resources that talk about how a man could be a good girls minister? I would love to do more research. Here are some of the questions that I am trying to answer... do you have any insight that I could possibly use as part of my research?
Why is it important that a girl has a male role model in her life?
What are some steps that men can take to minister to girls more effectively?
What is the hardest thing about a man ministering to a girl?
What are some boundaries that need to take place in order for a man to effectively minister to a female?
How can women better encourage men to be Girls Ministers?
What are some examples of men who have impacted girl's lives?