This month will mark my 40th birthday (I know, I don't look 40, do I?). Since it's a "milestone" birthday, I've been taking some time to look back and reflect on my life, especially in terms of ministry. It has been a good reminder of what God has done in spite of my mistakes, some of which I thought I would share with you in hopes that you don't make them yourself.
Mistake #1---Worrying about being liked
On more than one occasion, I kept my mouth shut because I was afraid that my words would make me unpopular with the girls I was supposed to speak truth to. I didn't speak up about their gossip. I looked the other way when I saw them "mean girl" someone. I didn't hold them accountable because I was afraid they would shut me out or think me "uncool." I'm old enough now that I'm not so concerned about being liked. I'm more concerned about their growth than my own popularity.
Mistake #2---Being distracted instead of being present
In the midst of budgets and schedules and Bible studies and crises with girls, it's easy to forget to be present with girls, walking with them and experiencing life with them. I can remember too many times that I should have just let go and laughed, played and giggled, shared secrets and stayed up late. Girls need to know that they are worth my undivided attention, even if they are tellling a story about a cousin's best friend's sister's in-grown toenail.
Mistake #3---Developing the Messiah Syndrome
This one is painful to admit, but I have wrestled with feeling like I was the one who could come into their lives and make a difference. The ministry wouldn't go forward without my brilliant planning and stellar wisdom. Nobody else could lead a Bible study like I could. Other adults didn't know the girls like I did and couldn't speak into their lives like I could. It took too much time to invest in adults and grow the ministry by mentoring others. And I watched ministry suffer because of my arrogance. Lesson learned.
What about you? What mistakes in ministry have you learned from that you don't want others to make?
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