This weekend, I had the opportunity to hang out with about 500 girls and their leaders at Define conference in Colorado. In talking with the adult leaders, I got asked a question that I've been asked dozens of times over the years in leading girls' ministry:
What's the deal with girls and their friends? Why is there so much drama?
When asked that question, I usually respond by talking about a girl's need to find out who she is and where she fits in the larger world around her. In the teen (and preteen) years, girls are rapidly changing and are "trying on" different personalities, friends, and identities, much like they try out a new wardrobe every few months or so. That leaves them feeling very, very insecure. Girl drama, for the most part, stems from girls trying to find security and using friendships to accomplish that.But there's another reason girls don't get along. There's larger answer to the question of girl drama, mean girls, gossip, cliques, and other nasty stuff that encompasses so much of a girl's life.
It's the enemy. Satan.
Follow me on this: how did God design women, primarily? To be relational. We are relational beings. We are sharers, talkers, encouragers, cry on shoulders-ers. We gain strength and courage and energy from those we are in relationship with. Even secular culture testifies to that. Steel Magnolias. Thelma and Louise. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. All stories that center around girls and relationships.
Satan knows this, so how would he try to kill, steal, and destroy women? By attacking us at one of our most vulnerable places—our relationships. If the enemy can keep girls separated instead of unified, arguing instead of encouraging, fighting instead of empowering, gossipping instead of praying, then he's won a major battle. An amazing force for God is unleashed when women and girls come together in unity and support, encouragement and accountability. And Satan will do everything in his power to stop girls from coming together to change their world.
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