In previous posts, I discussed the increase of pornography among girls, along with some of the reasons girls are getting involved. In this last post of this series, we'll discuss how the church can respond.
1. Talk about it. This may be the most difficult thing to do. Parents don’t want you to talk about it because it’s not happening to their girls; their girls are too young, too innocent, and too naïve to be involved in anything as gross as pornography. Church members are uncomfortable with the topic. Deacons and pastors alike will squirm.
But girls desperately need to hear the truth that they can be tempted by pornography. They need a place to talk about it. They need a place where they can be loved unconditionally and without shame for their sinful behavior. They need a place where they can talk about their temptations without being shunned, judged, or ignored. The church can no longer be silent on this issue.
2. Provide accountability. Some churches provide accountability groups for men facing sexual addiction. Why can’t the church provide this for women? For teen girls? The church can also help parents in providing some safeguards and filters for their computer to help monitor this behavior. Girls need help. They cannot fight this battle alone. We must partner with parents to be advocates for girls.
3. Take a strong stand. This is a fine line that must be treaded upon with much grace and God’s leadership. The church can take a strong stand against those “gateway” temptations that girls are often lured by. TV shows. Magazines. Popular books and popular movies. The church needs to stand up and say that some of that stuff is just not good for teen (or adult) eyes and ears. I often hear, “It’s only a PG 13 movie, how bad could it be?” “It’s only a magazine or a picture.” “It’s just a poster on her wall.” But you and I as leaders must help girls discern and make better decisions. We need to help them ask and answer the hard question: What is the intention behind it—that movie, that book, that TV show, that picture? If its goal is to cause an intense physical or emotional reaction, then by definition, it’s pornography. I know that viewpoint will probably be unpopular, but I don’t know how to say it in a politically correct way. It’s convicting to me as well.
4. Be bearers of grace. The shame and disgrace connected with pornography is huge. Girls don't talk about the problem because they're afraid of the judgment. They're afraid of the response. They think they'll be labled or dismissed or condemned or treated differently because of their struggles. The church can be Jesus to these girls. Like Jesus in His encounter with the woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8), we can be bearers of grace, not throwing stones, but dismissing the crowds of judgment, helping restore their dignity, offering them forgiveness and restoration, and challenging them to leave their lives of sin.
This issue isn't going away. If your church doesn't have a plan for addressing this issue, you're missing an opportunity for ministry. And you're leaving girls alone to deal with this issue. Someone or something else will fill that void in the lives of girls.
How has your church dealt with the issue of pornography among teen girls?
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