Finally, an honest prayer

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who struggles with my faith. Others talk about their relationship with God with such affection and confidence, and I wonder if to myself, "Why isn't that me?" Most of the time, I feel like Jacob, who spent a good portion of his life in trouble, wrestling with his past, his decisions, and his God. My relationship with God isn't very neat, and it certainly isn't pretty. Or refined.

If you ever feel like me, then the following prayer will resonate with you. I found it the other day as I was reading the book Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership (which I highly recommend, by the way):

Holy One,
there is something I wanted to tell you
but there have been errands to run,
     bills to pay,
          arrangements to make,
               meetings to attend,
                    friends to entertain,
                         washing to do...
and I forgot what it is I wanted to say to you,
and mostly I forget what I'm about,
     or why.
O God,
don't forget me please,
for the sake of Jesus Christ...

O Father in Heaven,
perhaps you've already heard what I wanted to tell you.
What I watned to ask is
     forgive me,
          heal me,
               increase my coursge please.
Renew in me a little of love and faith,
     and a sense of confidence,
          and a vision of what itmight mean
               to live as though you were real,
                    and I mattered,
                         and everyone was sister and brother.

What I wanted to ask in my blundering way is
     don't give up on me,
          don't become to sad about me,
               but laugh with me,
                    and try again with me,
                         and I will with you, too.

---Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace

Does this prayer resonate with you? If so, how?