Growing up

Recently I read an article about a study identifying that girls are entering puberty earlier than in the past. My first response was "DUH!" All you need do is look around at girls in elementary and middle school and see that!

The study emphasized that experts aren't sure why this is happening in the U.S. The studies also concluded that girls who start puberty earlier are at greater risk for certain cancers. Doctors, in particular, believe certain chemicals that have been introduced into our environment in recent years may be affecting hormones in girls. For me, a mom of three girls, there are a lot of scary things to consider that affect the physical health of my daughters.

However, the part of the article that really caught my attention was related to how this early development is also linked to poor self-esteem, eating disorders, depression, cigarette and alcohol use and earlier sexual activity. (To read the article click here.) 

The article focuses on physical health primarily, but for me I start thinking about the whole person of that little girl who is maturing early physically. Regardless of how old she looks on the outside, she is still a little girl mentally, emotionally, and socially.

But what do you do when an 8 to 9-year-old looks like she is 12? What about the 12-year-old who looks 15 or 16? And how do you teach the church to interact with 11 and 12-year-old girls as 11 and 12-year-olds mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, even when they look like they are 16? How can girls' ministry guide these girls through both the difficult and joyful years?

One of the only things I know to do as a mom interacting with girls daily in my home, my neighborhood, and at my church is to help these young girls is lead them discover their identity in Christ.

In one of my favorite books, Growing Up Without Getting Lost, by Melissa Trevathan and Sissy Goff, there is a quote that I use and say often in one form or another to girls I know.

You are the only you this world will ever know. And something about your life is meant to make something about God known in a way that no one else can.  (Dan Allender, How Children Raise Parents)

Girls, whatever their age, need to know that God has a plan and purpose for them. (Jer. 29:11, Eph. 2:10...you can pull your favorite scripture as well.) No matter what they are going through, no matter what is happening in their families, at school, between their parents, no matter how others treat them, no matter how they look (11 or 15), and even no matter how they feel on the inside-God can and will use them in great ways.

Girls often worry about their feelings. They worry about how they feel about themselves. They worry about what others think of them. Does she want to be my friend? Does he like me? Do they think I'm pretty? Funny? Nice? You fill in the blanks.

Also, the parents worry about how their daughters feel about themselves. We really can become consumed with ourselves and our own little world. And I'm afraid I've missed it so many times and set the wrong example for my daughters and the girls in my church.

Jesus didn't emphasize or tell us to focus on ourselves. He instead says, "Follow Me." His message is all about laying down your life and denying yourself (Luke 9:23-24). But our lives do make a difference and really matter when we fall in line behind Jesus and follow Him. 

Growing up is sometimes hard. But I want girls to know that no matter how they look or feel, they do make a difference and they do matter. Each girl is unique. She can point others to Jesus and make Him known in a way that no one else can. Now, how can we help every girl discover that truth for herself?