It is that time of the year at my church. Everyone is getting ready to promote up to the next grade level with all the Sunday school classes, Bible studies, and anything that is age-graded. It always stirs excitement in the children's area and a little panic among a few of the parents. Mostly because those parents have a hard time finding their kids throughout the year and are always going to the wrong room anyway. That would be me.
So you can only imagine my thoughts as I think about breaking in a new group of any kind. Learning their personalities and their likes and dislikes. Wanting instant relationship but knowing that it is going to take time.
As I started thinking about this as I was reflecting on our girls high school small group that met at my house on Sunday nights all last year. It is always amazing to me to watch the girls and how they interact with one another. And even more amazing to try and teach or facilitate a group like that with so much diversity.
Think about the different girls you will be teaching or mentoring this year and how you can best mentor them. Here are a few of my thoughts on ministering to the girls I know and encouraging them to use their strengths for God.
The Mouth-This is that girl who always has something to say. If you ask a question, she has an answer. Not always the best answer or the right answer, but she is trying and wants to have a voice among the group. In a small group you may have to call on specific people so they have a chance to answer when this girl is in the group. Or once this girl gives her answer you may need to ask if anyone else has something to say or to add. If it really becomes a problem be the voice that she needs to hear and speak loving truth into her life. She probably doesn't have a clue that she is monopolizing the discussion. Also, help her find ways to share her voice through writing, speaking and teaching. Someone who is not afraid to speak up can be a great thing so let her know that as well.
The Silent One-This girl is the exact opposite of the mouth. She rarely says a word, but listens attentively to everything everyone else is saying. Look for ways to draw this girl into the conversation and the study. Find times to have one-on-one conversations with her that help her to voice her opinions or the truths she is learning. Discover if she is open to praying aloud or what would help her become more comfortable speaking with the small group during any discussions. Keep encouraging her to express herself in a variety of ways-art, song, drama, writing or other areas where she shows interest.
Negative Nellie-You know her. There is almost always one in every group. Without realizing it she always says something that brings down the mood. Maybe she is sad or depressed, but always the "glass is only half-full." Many of her opinions or viewpoints may speak to the reality of the situation, but help her to see the hope. When she answers in a discussion with a negative answer, call for another girl to give another perspective. Help this girl to see the hope that comes from living and walking with Christ. And help her to avoid seeing every circumstance or situation focused on the worse case scenario. Also, find ways to use her realist side of life with planning an event or activity with the girls.
Rabbit Chaser-This is what I find in most of my small groups. Lots of girls who love to jump from conversation to conversation and often seem to get off track. I think this is a normal trait for many grown women. We jump from one subject to another and then come back around to what we were talking about in the beginning. There is nothing wrong about going with the natural flow of conversation. And there is nothing wrong with talking about unrelated topics to what you are studying in the session. However, if chasing these rabbits hinders you from having a productive time together, then something needs to change. Look for times when it is appropriate to "chase the rabbits." Build in talk time before and after your small group time for the socializing and the random topics. Use the girls social skills and love for chatting to get to know one another and laugh. And remember that some of those random conversations that appear to be off the subject, sometimes really do connect with the study that is taking place. You may just need to help them get to the point sooner.
God places each of these types of girls in your care for this season of life. They each provide variety and diversity to the group that is meant to guide them to become the women of God that He created them to be.
Who are some of your girls and how do you balance the different personalities in small groups?
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