The Power of a Dad's Presence, Part 1

We have a ritual at our house sustained by two of its members: our daugher and our dog. Every morning, as my husband leaves for work, he hugs my daughter good-bye and pats our puppy on the head. And this is the what he sees when he leaves every morning:

That's my daughter and our dog Benji waving and watching as my husband pulls out of the driveway. And this ritual is repeated every day.

Kaitlyn may or may not color in the morning. She might watch a little Curious George. She will probably struggle to finish her milk. But she always, always watches and waves as daddy leaves.

Why? Because that's the power of a dad's presence in a daughter's life.

The older my daughter gets, the more convinced I am of this simple truth: a father plays a significant, life-altering role in his daughter's life. His presence (or lack thereof) leaves an indellible legacy. He shapes a girl's understanding of herself, the world around her, and even the character of God.

In their book, Raising Girls, authors Sissy Goff and Melissa Trevathan make this point concerning parents, and I believe it holds special truth for fathers:

"As your daughter learns that you are there and that you are trustworthy, she learns to believe the same is true about others, and then about God. Trust ripples outward. As children discover who they are in relationship to their parents, to the adults in their lives, they begin to discover who they are in relationship to God." (p. 38)

Later in the book, they talk about the importance of a dad's role in the adolescent years. They write that:

"During puberty...dads' roles become even more important in helping draw out a girls' femininity. She doesn't want to hold his hand any more, but she still needs him. She needs him to help her feel valued as a woman, to show her what it looks like to respect a woman, and to continue to connect to her." (p. 137)

In girls' ministry, a lot of emphasis is placed on the changing relationship between a mom and a daughter, and a lot of events are centered around that critical relationship. However, it is critical for us a girls' leaders and parents to remember the incredible influence that a dad holds in his daughter's life.

In my next blog post, I'll give you three simple things dads can do to build his relationship with his daughter. Until then, send this blog on to the dads you know as a word of encouragement and a reminder of their responsibility.