A new book came out this month by authors Melissa Trevathan and Sissy Goff. The title is Modern Parents, Vintage Values and I can't put the book down. There may be several reasons for this...but I think the main reason is I'm a mom of three kids. I've got one in high school, one in middle school, and one in elementary school so we are covering the spectrum of development and drama.
I'd say it has been a rough couple of weeks, but the truth is, it has been a rough couple of years! The transition from elementary school to middle school and then high school bring major changes in the lives of students and the adults who love them and speak truth into their lives. In addition to my girls I also have daily contact with friends and foes and their parents...enough said about that!
Some of the biggest areas of "character development" we've been working on in our home is responsibility and honesty. In their book, Melissa and Sissy gave a few tips to instill responsibility that really jumped off the page to me.
You teach by your actions and their consequences.
Talk through the reasons for certain responsibilites and consequences for not following through.
Hold your teenagers to standards.
I guess these statements really caught my attention because they also apply to honesty. I want my girls and the students I have contact and influence with to develop honesty as a strong character trait. I want them to grow into adults who are trustworthy and are known for having integrity.
One of the most difficult things for some students and adults is admiting mistakes. However, those who value honesty grow into healthier, stronger adults. They not only humble themselves and admit their mistakes, they also admit their mistakes and faults regardless of the consequences. They acknowledge their mistakes and violations of rules or expectations. As a result they develop a character that is truthful.
The girl who is truthful...
- doesn't lie
- doesn't take credit for the accomplishments of others
- doesn't exaggerate statements or stories
- doesn't mislead or create mistaken impressions
- doesn't deceive
As I continued to read Modern Parents, Vintage Values, I learned that the Hebrew word tome is the word used for integrity. It means "honesty, genuineness, completeness, soundness." The word integrity describes a life that comes together. (p. 189) That is exactly what I want for myself and others...a life and character that comes together. For us to be people who become all that God intends for us to be...to reflect Him.
As parents and girls' ministers how do we help girls (and guys) get it? How do we help them develop character that displays and demonstrates honesty, responsibility, integrity, or any other important value?
It is going to take some work on our part because it is going to require that we have those same character traits in our own lives. We are going to need to model it and lead by example. In addition to teaching it and giving moral instruction, we have to live it. We need to notice it in others and point it out to them. We need to encourage the positive character traits and affirm that they are headed in the right direction, a direction that pleases God and obeys Him.
As girls' ministers, parents, and believers we need to set the bar high for ourselves and our girls. We need to expect and anticipate godly character and behavior. The truth is unbelievers expect it from us. Whether we realize it or not, they are watching us. Our lives reflect the God we love, serve and obey. When others trust us, it brings with it all manner of opportunities and advantages to share the gospel and lead others to Christ.
Now back to the book. Whether you are a parent or not, Modern Parents, Vintage Values is worth the read. It is also worth recommending to those parents of girls in your girls' ministry. Even the parent who is not a believer will relate to the writing style and the truths represented. One other resource that is worth checking out related to this book-go to www.modernparentsvintagevalues.com for updates and downloads about issues facing modern parents.
At the end of Modern Parents, Vintage Values, Romans 5:2-5 leads the last chapter.
Also through Him, we have obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope does not disappoint, because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
God pours His perfect love into our imperfect hearts. That will give any parent, any girls' minister, and any person hope!
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