This is an exciting week. Justin Bieber may have cut his hair, but more importantly, the GIRLS' MINISTRY FORUM is happening right here in Nashville, Tenn., tomorrow and Saturday. I can’t wait to meet any of our blog readers who are coming! Please find any of the blog contributors at the forum and let us know what else you’d like to see on our blog.

Here’s what’s happening in music (on the Billboard Hot 100) these days:

1.    “Born this Way” by Lady Gaga. (For more info on this song, see this previous post.)
2.    “Forget You” by Cee Lo Green (While the catchy edited radio version may have you humming along, pay attention to the words. Both versions boldly feature a guy blasting his gold-digging ex-girlfriend, but the unedited version does it in a really offensive way.)
3.    “Grenade” by Bruno Mars (OK, I bought this CD. I’ve loved everything Bruno Mars has released to radio, so I thought I’d check out what else he sings about. His is NOT an album I’d recommend to teenagers. Sex outside of marriage, being a player, getting married on a whim, drinking, and other vices are crooned about with a voice so good it makes you forget what you’re hearing. [Another one of Satan’s favorite tricks.] Bruno Mars is definitely talented. But his music glorifies a lifestyle that is anything but Christian.)
4.    “I Need a Doctor” by Dr. Dre, feat. Eminem and Skylar Grey
5.     “Firework” by Katy Perry
6.    “F**kin’ Perfect” by P!nk (Again, another radio-edit that is somewhat truthful and gutsy, but its original content [specifically, the F-word] is not good.)
7.    “S&M” by Rihanna (I searched online for the lyrics to this song [I’m sure I’ll be getting a call from our IT department any minute). Absolutely appalling. I thought her song “Rude Boy” was way too overt for daytime play on the radio. But this song takes singing about sex—specifically, S&M—to new levels. The fact that songs like this are seeing the light of day breaks my heart.
8.    “Never Say Never” by Justin Bieber feat. Jaden Smith (Yep, the Bangless One and Will Smith’s son teamed up on this song about not giving up. It’s also the title of Justin’s movie (see below). The song is pretty catchy.)
9.    “Tonight I’m Lovin’ You” by Enrique Iglesias
10.    “Black and Yellow” by Wiz Khalifa
 

Oscars: This Sunday!

OK, the Academy Awards are this weekend. While I’m pretty sure the Oscars won’t be as crazy as the Grammys, there’s bound to be some celeb flub/weird outfit/dumb acceptance speech that your students will be discussing come Monday. The show airs on ABC at 8 p.m. ET. (Red carpet coverage starts at 7 p.m. ET.) You can check out the list of nominations here.

And speaking of movies, here are the top ten from last weekend (and only one of them has an Oscar nomination):

1.    Unknown [PG-13] Liam Neeson plays a man who awakens from a coma and realizes someone has stolen his identity. Not even his wife knows who he is. So he sets about getting it back, with some necessary violence, I'm sure.
2.    Gnomeo & Juliet [G]
3.    I am Number Four [PG-13] I would think your girls may be interested in seeing this one. A teen with super powers avoids trying to be killed by an enemy bent on destroying him and others with powers like his; meanwhile, a teenage romance buds between him and Sarah (played by Diana Agron of “Glee”). While some have likened it to Twilight, I get the feel it has more of an XMen flavor. I’ll let you know, if I see it. But if you know more about this flick and its appropriateness for teens, please leave a comment and let me know!
4.    Just Go With It [PG-13]
5.    Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son [PG-13]
6.    Justin Beiber: Never Say Never [G] I’ve heard this documentary is positive and even briefly showcases Justin praying before his concerts.
7.    The King’s Speech [R] Oscar nods have been given. Will it win?
8.    The Roommate [PG-13]
9.    The Eagle [PG-13]
10.   No Strings Attached [R]
 

Often, my five-year-old will use a word or phrase as if she knows what it means or how it's pronounced. Most of the time, though, she doesn't really have a clue. She has just picked up pieces of the words from conversations.  In her world,  diarrhea is replaced by diarena, Taylor Swift is really Taylor Switt, and sexy is when you dress up to go out (yes, this was a long conversation).

As I've listened to Kaitlyn misprounounce countless words and misunderstand the meanings of others, I was reminded of the parallel to girls' lives.

Many of the students in our churches have heard bits and pieces of the truth in their Sunday School classes, homes, and retreats, and having heard a lot of noise, they assume that they know the truth, much like my daughter thinks she knows words. Teen girls can repeat jargon, like "prayer" and "holiness" and "purity" and "forgiveness", but they have no idea what it all really means and how it applies on Monday morning when they're walking through the halls.

Unfortunately, because teens can say all the right words, we just assume that they are "getting it". It's just easier to look for the right vocabulary than to dig a little deeper.

How can we make sure girls are really understanding and synthesizing Truth?

1. Ask questions. And keep asking questions. If a girl gives me a "church" answer, I'll say, "that's a great answer. Now tell me what you mean by that." I'll often ask, "What does that mean, really?" or "How are we supposed to actually do that? Really?"

2. Don't answer. When you ask a question, wait for the answer. Girls will remain quiet if they know that you'll eventually answer your own question. Get really comfortable with silence. It's not a bad thing. The space and quiet gives girls time to think about what you're asking and to formulate an answer. Eventually, someone will speak. Be patient.

3. Don't get in a hurry. If you are reading a passage, stop in the middle and ask, "What's going on here?" and let them retell the story or the passage. If they miss a part, ask questions like, "What else is going on?" and "What else did he say?" "What did Paul mean when he said, 'justified'?" If it takes you 15 minutes to walk through a passage to make sure girls actually know what is being said, then it's worth it.

4. Ask girls to paraphrase. And when they do, make sure they don't use churchy jargon.

5. Ask them, "So what?" At the end of Bible study, I will often ask, "So what"? So what does this mean for us tomorrow? What difference does this make? Why does this matter? If they can't answer those questions, then we need to take a step back and try again.

Success in a Bible study is not measured by whether or not you "covered everything" in your plan. It's about digging into the Word and helping girls develop a passion for the truth in God's Word.

While the Billboard Hot 100 charts haven’t changed a bit since last week, the top movies certainly have!

Here are the top movies at the box office and what your girls might be going to see this weekend:

1.    Just Go With It [PG-13], starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Anniston
2.    Justin Beiber: Never Say Never [G]
3.    Gnomeo and Juliet [G]
4.    The Eagle [PG-13] Braveheart meets Gladiator meets Robin Hood meets every other ancient battle movie. I’m sure the boys in your ministry will love it. (And there’s no sex or nudity and little profanity; the rating comes from the images of battle and savagery.)
5.    The Roommate [PG-13] Probably not the best movie for your seniors to watch, especially if they’re going “potluck” and letting the school assign their roommate(s). Still haven’t seen this one; I don’t do scary/creepy movies.
6.    The Kings Speech [R]
7.    No Strings Attached [R]
8.    Sanctum [R]
9.    True Grit [PG-13]
10.  The Green Hornet [PG-13]

Public Service Announcement: Your students’ hearing
As the daughter of a speech pathologist and audiologist, I’ve always been taught to be protective of my hearing. Which means I’m the dork who brings earplugs to concerts. Because I live in Nashville, a town obsessed with music and other loud events, my earplugs get a lot of use. But one thing I’ve noticed is that other girls at these concerts/events aren’t protecting their hearing too. (I see boys use earplugs more than girls, in fact!) Recent research conducted at Harvard confirms that girls are damaging their hearing at a more rapid rate these days. You can see from this chart how the human ear should really only be exposed to the noise level of the typical rock concert for less than 30 seconds!

Now, I realize that it’s not really your job as a minister/volunteer to make sure that your students are protecting their hearing, but you can encourage your girls to keep the volume down, in their cars and in their earphones, and you can also make sure that the decibel level during your worship time is not ear-piercing, no matter what the youth band wants. 

Interesting start to the new year for me. I sensed the Lord letting me know this would be a year of change, but I didn't know that much of that change would require me learning some new things.

There is an old saying that goes something like you can't teach an old dog new tricks. First, I don't want to be considered an old dog. Second, learning new things is not so bad if you allow yourself to just go with it...and experience the adventure of it all. 

As I've been learning some new things, I thought about those of you involved with girls' ministry. Girls' Ministry, and church ministry in general, are usually in a constant state of change. There are always new methods and ways to do ministry.

That is much of what Girls' Ministry Forum is all about. In addition to networking with other like hearts and minds passionate about girls' ministry in their churches and communities, you hopefully will learn some new things. It may be a new way to disciple girls, to memorize scripture, to pray, to balance your budget, to face those difficult issues and situations within your church...the list continues. 

Right now we are about 10 days away from Girls' Ministry Forum. It is not too late to register yourself or other adult leaders in your church. It is not too late to register some of your high school girls. It is not too late to learn something new. It is not too late to jump in and experience a great adventure with others who are wading through the waters of girls' ministry.

Girls' ministry is still a new and developing ministry in our churches. Let's learn together and share the things we've been learning with others!

So, who is coming? What state are you from? How many high school girls are you bringing with you to Girls' Ministry Forum?

Sometimes I read blog posts and think to myself, "Seriously? You really believe that? Seriously?"

That was my reaction when I read a mom's blog about Lady Gaga's new song "Born This Way." Just to keep you in the loop, here are the lyrics:

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir

"There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are"
She said, "'Cause He made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up, girl and you you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
(Born this way)

Ooo, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooo, there ain't other way
Baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be!

Give yourself prudence and love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice of truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (hey, hey, hey)
I love my life, I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah

I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

While I completely disagree with this parent's idea that this song is a mantra for modern-day parents (and I could list any number of reasons why), I can't help but feel sorry for this parent and her kids.

Did I just type that? Yes, I did.

I feel sorry for her. Because she has become a victim of a culture (and the father of Lies) that tells all of us that it doesn't matter what your actions, what you choose to believe, what you adopt as your belief system or your lifestyle, it's OK. You're OK. Just love yourself for who you are. Just accept yourself and express yourself (or flaunt yourself, in Lady Gaga's case).

The problem? It's completely unbiblical. And illogical. And dangerous.

Scripture tells us that we're not OK. We're dead objects of wrath because of sin (Eph. 2:1-3). It's by the grace of God—and only by the grace of God—can we find forgiveness and be restored to the creation He intended for us to be (Eph. 2:4-10). Apart from Him, we will never find the freedom from the regret, the lies, the sin that destroys. You can't just sing it away in a song.

Taken to its logical end, the song could endorse any number of behaviors, including pedophelia, beastiality, and even murder (if I'm born with a gene predisposed to murder, then that's just who I am). Obviously, such thinking is dangerous not only on a spiritual level, but also on a social, emotional, political, and cultural level as well.

So how do we who work with teen girls deal with a song like this? With a woman like Lady Gaga who holds so much sway in the culture (she won three Grammy Awards last night, by the way)?  Do we just tell girls not to listen to her? Do we have a Gaga-bashing party?

Part of me wants to, but I know better. Giving a blanket statement to girls is like fueling a fire. Instead, we need to help them think critically, to evaluate her lifstyle, her history (which is interesting) and her music. In reference to this song, you could ask questions like:

• What is the message of this song?
  
• What are the positive elements (ha!) of this song? What are the negative elements?
  
• Do you see any truths in this song? Do you see any fallacies or myths or incorrect messages?
  
• Why do you think this song is so popular? Why do you think it resonates with people?
  
• What is the logical conclusion if you were to live like this song proclaims?
  
• Would you want your daughter to adopt this song as her life's message? Why or why not?

Stephani Germanotta (a.k.a Lady Gaga) isn't going the way of the dinosaurs any time soon. Our goal is to help girls recognize for themselves that everything she says and does isn't as stellar, stunning, or socially acceptable as it appears. We need to help them turn on the spotlight to see the flaws hidden underneath all the glitz and glam.

While we’re digging out from the latest snow here in Nashville, I thought I’d bring you an update on pop culture these days.

Here are the most popular songs this week (radio airplay and downloads):

1.    “Black and Yellow” by Wiz Khalifa
2.    “Grenade” by Bruno Mars
3.    “Firework” by Katy Perry
4.    “Perfect” by P!nk (The radio version of this song is decent—at least in its honesty about the things girls think about themselves; the unedited version, however, is a bit ... umm… rough.)
5.    “I Need a Doctor” by Dr. Dre feat. Eminem and Skylar Grey
6.    “Tonight (I’m Lovin’ You) by Enrique Iglesias feat. Ludacris & DJ Frank E
7.    “Rocketeer” by Far East Movment feat. Ryan Tedder

8.    “What’s My Name?” by Rihanna feat. Drake (Great voice. Not-so-great song about a girl with torrid sexual past who’s trying to figure out if this current sexual relationship will work out for the long term. Parts of this song make me wonder if the songwriter just couldn’t come up with more words and instead substituted nonsensical syllables. And Drake adds nothing to the song.)
9.    “Hey Baby (Drop it to the Floor)” by Pitbull feat. T-Pain
10.   “Hold it Against Me” by Britney Spears

P.S.  The Grammys are this Sunday (Feb. 13) on CBS at 8 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. CST. You might want to watch, just for an idea of who the top performers are in music these days, what weird stuff they’re wearing, and what crazy stunt(s) happened during the show that your students will be talking about on Monday morning.

The top movies are:
1.    The Roommate [PG-13]. Creepy, violent movie about an obsessed roommate (and one that I won’t be seeing).
2.    Sanctum [R]. Underwater cave explorers get trapped in an unexplored cave system and must try to find a way out to save their lives. Rated R for disturbing images, language, and violence.
3.    No Strings Attached [R]. A movie that proves that sex is way more than just a physical act. (But I’m not planning to see it to tell you how they come to that conclusion.)
4.    The King’s Speech [R]. Great film. Rated R for language, in particular, one rather long stream of profanities during a therapy session in an effort to prove to the Duke/King that he doesn’t stammer ALL the time.
5.    The Green Hornet [PG-13]. Comic-turned-movie, and I’m a little surprised to see it this high on the charts. Haven’t yet seen it…
6.    The Rite [R]. Yet another exorcism movie, but it does have Anthony Hopkins in it. However, due to the content, I’m thinking it’d be best if I don’t give my mind a movie like that to dwell on.
7.    The Mechanic [R] As much as I enjoyed watching Jason Statham drive a car like CRAZY in The Transporter, this movie of his takes the action genre into the realm of hired killings. He’s a hit man trying to teach the “business” to an apprentice. No thanks.
8.    True Grit [PG-13]. Good movie (although it is aptly rated) that presents the young female lead as a capable, intelligent, and determined individual, which is kind of a nice contrast to the way women are sometimes presented in Westerns.
9.    Black Swan [R]
10.   The Dilemma [PG-13]
 

Happy Friday, readers!! Just think, in two weeks, we'll hopefully be chatting face-to-face at the Girls' Ministry Forum!

If there were ever a time of year when girls' ministry can be hard, it is this time of year. It is amazing how one date on the calendar can swing girls from one end of the spectrum of emotion to the other.

February 14th. Valentine's Day.

How do you minister to the girls' in your church and student ministry on Valentine's Day? 

I don't know about where you live, but in many of our high schools and middle schools there are certain school clubs and organizations that still sell the flowers as fundraisers. You know where students sign up to purchase a flower for someone, maybe writing a note to attach to the flower, and then the flowers are delivered to their classrooms on Valentine's Day.

It seems like a good idea at the time. Work with a local florist. Get a good price for the flowers. Sell them for a dollar. But how many students never receive a flower? 

Yeah, I know it is not cruel and unusual punishment. Most girls end up just fine even without the flower. However, I do wonder how much it compounds insecurities in some girls.  Do they question their value and worth? Do they wonder if anyone will ever love them or send them flowers?

So, what can we do as Girls' Ministers to remind girls that they are loved?

Here are a few ideas to get you started...

1. Remind girls that no matter who is or isn't in their life on Valentine's day, God loved them first. Send 1 John 4:19 as a text.
2. Challenge girls to demonstrate God's love to someone who may be really lonely on Valentine's Day. A grandparent, a widow, a child who lost a parent recently, or their own parents who may be divorced. Allow love to transform and replace selfishness.
3. Give all your girls a sheet of  Valentine's Day stickers on Sunday and tell them to stick them on those they "love" on Monday, Valentine's Day. Or even better tell them to stick them on someone they don't know and wish them a happy Valentine's day!

What are some other ideas that you have for Valentine's Day with your girls' ministry? How can we remind girls that they are loved dearly by God? How can we remind them that their worth and value is not dependent upon the number of flowers they receive or whether or not they have a boyfriend?

And it will finally be time for the Girls' Ministry Forum! We continue to hear great stories from last year's attendees about how this training made a difference for their leadership and their church. We pray that this year's forum will be another time when God works in amazing ways to influence this generation of girls and their leaders for Christ.

The last two Tuesdays I've shared a little about a few of the break-outs that will be offered at this year's forum: Fight like a Girl and Come to the Well. After reading an article (or two) recently on the use of cell phones and generational trends, I had to find out more about another break-out that will be offered at Girls' Ministry Forum. This one is titled "Essentials for Life After High School."

What would be the most important things you would want your 9th-12th grade girls to hear and learn about related to life after high school? What tools do you want to equip your girls with as they leave high school? What do they need to know as they leave home?

One of the articles I read discussed some of the problems arising in the work place when you mix twenty-somethings with baby boomers. We all know there is a big difference between the two. However, one of the biggest "generation gaps" is due to the rising use of cell phones and specifically texting...welcome to the world of girls' ministry and student ministry! Any high school (or middle school) teacher would tell you that the use of cell phones at inappropriate times (like when they are teaching) is not just a problem in the work place.

Think about your last meeting. How many people were texting during the meeting? Exactly....

So, how do we explain the perception of "the old folks" to our girls when they text or even just check a text message during the middle of a conversation? How do we embrace technology and speak the language (texting) of the girls we minister to...and at the same time teach them that in the wrong setting it can hinder their relationships, their jobs...or other people's perceptions of them?

It is a huge transition from high school into the "working world" or to attending a college or university. There are so many things we, as girls' ministers, can do to help parents prepare their girls for as they begin this new phase of life - officially leaving the teenage years into young adulthood. You often have much more influence  than you think, even in the those final years of high school.

If you are bringing high school girls to Girls' Ministry Forum on February 25-26 (and we hope you are), encourage at least one girl from your group to attend the "Essentials for Life After High School" session. She will have an opportunity to look at life - physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually - and how all those areas transition and change from high school into young adulthood. If she is not ready for these potential changes, this session might help her take that first step. If she is well on her way to being independent, this session will give her some practical tools for living on her own for the first time. Most importantly, it will remind her of the essential element of keeping God first in her life after high school and the rest of her life.

Can't wait to see you at Girls' Ministry Forum!