Often, my five-year-old will use a word or phrase as if she knows what it means or how it's pronounced. Most of the time, though, she doesn't really have a clue. She has just picked up pieces of the words from conversations. In her world, diarrhea is replaced by diarena, Taylor Swift is really Taylor Switt, and sexy is when you dress up to go out (yes, this was a long conversation).
As I've listened to Kaitlyn misprounounce countless words and misunderstand the meanings of others, I was reminded of the parallel to girls' lives.
Many of the students in our churches have heard bits and pieces of the truth in their Sunday School classes, homes, and retreats, and having heard a lot of noise, they assume that they know the truth, much like my daughter thinks she knows words. Teen girls can repeat jargon, like "prayer" and "holiness" and "purity" and "forgiveness", but they have no idea what it all really means and how it applies on Monday morning when they're walking through the halls.
Unfortunately, because teens can say all the right words, we just assume that they are "getting it". It's just easier to look for the right vocabulary than to dig a little deeper.
How can we make sure girls are really understanding and synthesizing Truth?
1. Ask questions. And keep asking questions. If a girl gives me a "church" answer, I'll say, "that's a great answer. Now tell me what you mean by that." I'll often ask, "What does that mean, really?" or "How are we supposed to actually do that? Really?"
2. Don't answer. When you ask a question, wait for the answer. Girls will remain quiet if they know that you'll eventually answer your own question. Get really comfortable with silence. It's not a bad thing. The space and quiet gives girls time to think about what you're asking and to formulate an answer. Eventually, someone will speak. Be patient.
3. Don't get in a hurry. If you are reading a passage, stop in the middle and ask, "What's going on here?" and let them retell the story or the passage. If they miss a part, ask questions like, "What else is going on?" and "What else did he say?" "What did Paul mean when he said, 'justified'?" If it takes you 15 minutes to walk through a passage to make sure girls actually know what is being said, then it's worth it.
4. Ask girls to paraphrase. And when they do, make sure they don't use churchy jargon.
5. Ask them, "So what?" At the end of Bible study, I will often ask, "So what"? So what does this mean for us tomorrow? What difference does this make? Why does this matter? If they can't answer those questions, then we need to take a step back and try again.
Success in a Bible study is not measured by whether or not you "covered everything" in your plan. It's about digging into the Word and helping girls develop a passion for the truth in God's Word.
Good thoughts, Pam, especially regarding the "church talk" and girls being able to say the right things but not really understanding the actual meanings and concepts behind. Even though the phrase "so what?" can be used flippantly and is sometimes irritating, it is very relevant and important in terms of Bible study.
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