Abercrombie controversy
I’m sure you’re aware of the latest in Abercrombie & Fitch’s over-sexed offerings, but in case you’re not, there’s been a small uprising against the clothing store for “The Ashley” bathing suit. The triangle-top, striped bikini is padded and was previously marketed using the words “push up.” The problem? It’s being marketed to girls as young as 7 and is for sale in the chain’s kids stores, Abercrombie. (What does a 7-year-old have to push up, anyway?!) Under pressure, Abercrombie has since removed the word “push up” and said that the suit is recommended for girls ages 12 and up. But it’s still available. Read more here.
 

Now, I’m no psychologist, but I can’t help but think that girls who are choosing to wear suits like these (or God forbid, having these suits chosen for them) are going to start feeling a lot more adult than they actually are. And growing up too quickly is going to lead to some major issues down the road when they’re a full-blown teenager. Girls who are 7 (they would most likely be FIRST GRADERS!) need to be wearing one piece swimswuits with their favorite cartoon character or fun print on them, not a two piece, padded number. I’m hoping that today’s parents have more sense that Abercrombie and Fitch thinks they do.

Sidenote: If the softcore porn on the walls and the prices of the clothes weren’t enough to keep me out of A&F, the perfume/cologne pumping through the air ducts certainly is. Is anyone else sickened just when walking by these stores in the mall? Maybe my nose is extra sensitive…

For your entertainment
A couple of new movies are topping this charts this week:

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules [PG] A safe bet for students, although I hear the books are much better than the movies. (But isn’t that always the case?)

Sucker Punch [PG-13]: A supposedly brain-teasing metaphorical leap with a modern-comic book feel. But mom of boys, beware: teenage boys will want to see it for the pretty girls in short skirts wielding weapons.

Good girls beware
There’s been some new stuff on the charts lately, but one song that I’ve heard a couple of times this past week that I know girls are going to be singing without thinking about the lyrics is Avril Lavigne’s “What the [Heck].” It’s not broken into the top ten yet, but it’s getting decent air play here in Nashville. Sadly, it’s a mind-set all too easy for good girls to fall into (especially when they’ve been called a goody-two shoes or prude one too many times), and Avril’s gone and put it to fun music. Here’s a little excerpt:

You're on your knees
Begging, "Please
Stay with me"
But honestly
I just need to be
A little crazy

All my life I've been good,
But now...
I'm thinking, "What the h*ll?"
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about...

If you love me
If you hate me
You can save me
Baby, baby
All my life I've been good
But now...
What the h*ll?

La, la, la, la, la, la
Whoa, whoa
La, la, la, la, la, la
Whoa, whoa

You say that I'm messing with your head
Boy, I like messing in your bed
Yeah, I am messing with your head when
I'm messing with you in bed
 

Umm…yeah. Hopefully we can address this issue head-on with the girls we minister to who might be tempted to shed their good reputations before songs like this convince them it’s normal and healthy to want to mess around. (Normal, maybe. Healthy, no.)

In the movies
Here’s what’s tops at the box office:
1.    Limitless [PG-13]: A writer discovers a secret drug that gives him super-human abilities.
2.    Rango [PG] My brother the movie buff saw this one and said it was a little less kid-friendly than he was anticipating for an animated film.
3.    Battle: Los Angeles [PG-13]: Aliens invade L.A. Eh.
4.    The Lincoln Lawyer [R]: Matthew McConaughey represents a high-profile client in a murder trial while living in his car.
5.    Paul [R]: A crass version of E.T. without the heart-warming parts.
6.    Red Riding Hood [PG-13] In this reimagined version of the classic children’s tale (which features a werewolf, which isn’t surprising, considering this is from the same director who did Twilight), bad acting and corniness overshadow its potential.
7.    The Adjustment Bureau [PG-13]. For more on this film, go here.
8.    Mars Needs Moms [PG]
9.    Beastly [PG-13] A modern-day retelling of Beauty and the Beast, set in New York.
10.  Hall Pass [R] Men are given permission by their wives to have affairs. As you can imagine, things get ugly, especially when the women decide to do the same. Some of the PREVIEWS on imdb.com required viewers to be age 17. I can’t imagine what’s in the film. (And don’t want to!)

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone! Is it just me, or did you turn around too and realize that March is more than half over?!

Here’s what’s on the top of the charts in music these days:

1. “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga
2. “F*** You (Forget You)” by Cee Lo Green
3. “E.T.” by Katy Perry, feat. Kanye West (see below)
4. “S&M” by Rihanna
5. “On the Floor” by Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull
6. “F**kin’ Perfect” by Pink
7. “Grenade” by Bruno Mars
8. “Tonight (I’m Loving’ You)” by Enrique Iglesias, et. al
9. “Til the World Ends” by Britney Spears
10. “Blow” by Ke$ha

I just heard Katy Perry’s newest song, "E.T.," on the radio yesterday. Here are the lyrics of the first verse and chorus, for your knowledge:

You're so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil
Could you be an angel

Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating
Leaves my body glowing

They say be afraid
You're not like the others
Futuristic lover
Different DNA
They don't understand you

You’re from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison

Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction

Boy, you're an alien
Your touch are foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

Now thousands of teenage girls will be singing lines like “infect me with your love and fill me with your poison.” Great. Who writes things like “Wanna be a victim” into pop songs anyway?! Kind of reminds me of Britney Spear's song "Toxic."

Speaking of Britney, here’s a little excerpt from her newest number, “Til the World Ends,” for your perusal (warning: the second line is rather blunt, but I can guarantee you girls will be singing it without thinking about what it means):

Watch me move, when I lose when I lose it hard
Get you off, with the touch dancing in the dark

You notice what I'm wearing, I'm noticing you staring
You know that I can take it, to the next level, baby
Harder than the A list, next one on my hit list
Baby, let me blow your mind tonight

This makes me sad. Suddenly, Bebo Norman’s song “Britney” rings even truer.

Clearly, girls are being attacked on all sides by the enemy. Lies are coming at them from places they may not even realize. Please hear me when I say:

What you are doing matters! The girls in your life and ministry need you and your influence!

So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, we must work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith. —Gal. 6:9-10, HCSB

Right now I have on my favorite "cross" earrings. They are a hammered silver design with silver beads and a little black stone in the center. Nothing fancy or expensive. On other days when I am wearing the right combinations of purple or orange, I wear my favorite cross necklace which is a combination of several materials pressed together in a mosiac looking design. It is an odd color combination, but it is unique and I love it. (This isn't actually it, but close enough.)

I have to admit that I am a girl who likes me some bling. Where others might be reserved or conservative in their choice of jewelry...well, let's just say I can go "all out." Yes, four bracelets may clang on the computer keyboard at times, but each one has a special meaning for me and so I want to wear them all. (And yes, I've also been convicted at times by 1 Timothy 2:9 and the whole jewelry thing related to outward adornment.) 

As I've continued to be convicted about my cross wearing habit, God really stirred in my heart the need to recognize the meaning of the cross and the accountability that goes along with wearing it.

For the First Century Christians the cross had a much different meaning from what we recognize today. We have crosses on our jewelry, our Bibles, our journals, our churches, wall art...the list goes on and on. We do recognize and affirm the cross as a Christian symbol, but often we forget about the weight and responsibility that goes along with identifying ourselves with the cross.

What does God expect from me when I openly wear jewelry using the symbol of the cross? Do I really remind myself that believers and non-believers alike see the cross I wear? Even if it is only a subconsious thought, the cross reminds others of God. What am I telling others about God verbally or non-verbally with my jewelry choices?

When we really slow down to think about the magnitude of the cross, we can't help but remember Jesus' words..."If anyone wants to come to Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me." (Luke 9:23)

The cross means denial of self.

The cross is the symbol of daily obedience. 

The cross is a call to die.

So, today as I wear my cross earrings I am reminded that every word I speak, every action I take, every attitude I display is a reflection of Christ. Because I wear my cross earrings I am to represent Jesus to those around me and remind them of the forgiveness and grace of a Savior. As I interact with my girls, I want them to see the call God has on my life. I want them to see a life of obedience and a person who denies herself in order to fulfill God's plans and purposes.

Most of all, I want the girls I minister to and live life with to experience the power of the cross. A call to die, yes...but even more, a call to abundant life. And so much more than a great piece of jewelry.

Sometimes you meet someone and instantly know you want to be friends. Emily is one of those people. I asked her to blog about her experience at the Girls' Forum last month. Hopefully you'll get to meet her next year—February 24-25, 2012.

Sexting….do my girls do that?  Is this happening and I am oblivious to it?  Well, three days ago, two of the girls at the school where I teach told me about a “texting” conversation they had with some boys…..AAHHH….Now that I am aware of what sexting is, I realized that my girls have done this. They don’t even know what they were really doing!

Thanks to the Lifeway Girls’ Ministry Forum, I am now educated in this area that is so subtle, so sneaky, so tempting to every young lady that owns a phone.  My job now encompasses telling my girls and educating them about sexting.  After all, God says to him who has been given much, much is required. (Luke 12:48)

I wonder at this moment if ignorance and bliss would be better, but then I am reminded that God chose me to love these girls at this time; He chose me to go to the Lifeway Girls’ Ministry Forum and become educated in the many ways our girls are being bombarded with Satan’s lies; He chose me to speak the truth in love.  What a privilege to be under Jesus’ lordship and to be chosen for such a time as this!

Emily Kacyvenski is mother to Margaret-Jane; sister to three fabulous and protective brothers and one loyal sister who is her hero; and daughter to a warm and continuing-to-grow father. She teaches sixth-eighth grade English and literature at Bracken Christian School in Bulverde, Texas. 

TEEN GIRLS WHO AREN'T AFRAID TO SPEAK THEIR MINDS

This summer, we will be launching our first ever girls' advisory group. We'd love your girls to be involved with helping us identify cultural shifts, issues girls are facing, needs of teen girls, and ways to meet those needs. Here's the basic info you need to know. We want your help in putting this group together.

WHO: Any girl entering the 9th grade-12th grade as of June 1, 2011. We want girls from all over—even outside the U.S. We're looking for lots of different kinds of girls—the confident and the shy, the strong believer and the skeptic, the cheerleader and the chess player, the actress and the future scientist, the homeschooled and public schooled.

QUALITIES WE'RE LOOKING FOR: Honesty, integrity, creativity, relationship with God

TIME FRAME: From June 1, 2011—May 31, 2012

COMMITMENT: To give us regular feedback (once a month) on questions, issues, cover design, Bible study ideas, you get the idea. Doesn't require a whole lot of time, just the willingness to be honest and real.

HOW: Private Facebook group

HOW IT HELPS HER: a place to belong; opportunity to speak her mind; fellowship with other believers from all over the country—or even around the world; college applications :-)

OTHER: Must have parental approval and references (you must recommend her)

Got a girl or two in mind? Great. Just put a response in the comments section and you'll get an email with instructions.

Have you ever been stumped by a tough question you’ve gotten during Bible study from a girl? Ever been blindsided by a really hard question when counseling a girl? Especially when working with upperclassmen, the questions they ask sometimes can’t be answered quickly or concisely, and it leaves you grasping at straws for an answer.

Well, we’d like to help. We want to compile questions that have stumped girls ministry leaders like you, go to Scripture and godly, deep thinkers for the answers, and then answer them. Then, we’ll get them to you in an easy-to-access format. But first, we have to know what kind of questions you’re being asked. Please leave a comment or e-mail me at emily[dot]cole[at]lifeway[dot]com to tell me all about the questions you’ve gotten over the years. (And if you came up with a great answer, let me know that too!)

The charts these days
In music, there’s been some moving around on the charts. According to the Billboard Hot 100, here are the most popular songs across all genres, ranked by radio airplay, sales, and online purchases/listens.

1.    “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga
2.    “F*** You (Forget You)” by Cee Lo Green
3.    “S&M” by Rihanna
4.    “F**kin’ Perfect” by Pink
5.    “On the Floor” by Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull (Looks like Jenny from the Block is relaunching her music career. Again. But after seeing her on "American Idol," I'm strangely endeared to her and can't wait to see what this song is all about. Judging from the promo picture, however, I'm not so sure I'm going to be able to recommend it.)
6.    “Grenade” by Bruno Mars
7.    “Blow” by Ke$ha
8.    “E.T.” by Katy Perry feat. Kanye West
9.    “Tonight (I’m Loving’ You)” by Enrique Iglesias, et. al
10.   “Firework” by Katy Perry

Funny story
Perhaps you’ve read past chart reviews when I’ve voiced some concerns about Katy Perry's music's message. Apparently, I’ve not just been questioning her song’s motives on this blog, but also in my senior girls’ small group. While I don’t exactly recall referring to her as “Satan’s mouthpiece,” my senior girls say that I did. And I had the opportunity to put my money where my mouth was just last weekend. We were in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, for our annual girls’ retreat. (Can I just say that I am impressed with the senior girls’ ability to pack themselves into a king-size bed?! Fourteen girls, three beds. Ridiculous and amazing.)

Well, on Saturday night of the retreat every year, we have a glow party—the girls wear white T-shirts, draw on themselves with highlighters, wear glowsticks, and have a blast rockin’ out to fun music under some blacklights. Well, when the leader in charge of selecting the music’s iPod died, a girl quickly volunteered to let us use her iPod. She did a great job selecting the first couple of songs, and then she chose “California Girls” by Katy Perry.

Summoning some courage, I told her to turn it off and that we’d find another person to DJ. When a couple of girls told me they could tell that I was not happy when the song came on and were actually grateful that I’d changed the song, I was so happy that my talk and my walk matched up on this issue—especially since I wasn’t aware I was being watched. Now I think I know what moms and teachers feel like when they have to “spoil all the fun.” I applaud those of you who have to do this kind of thing on a regular basis!!

You know for years I worked really hard to live and be like someone else. I would see how someone was good at a certain skill or subject and I would try to be like them. After becoming a Christian I learned about and began noticing spiritual gifts in others. I would try to act like them and display their spiritual gifts because I liked what I saw in them. 

I spent more time trying to be someone I was not.

I look back and often want to kick myself. I spent so much energy and effort focused on my weaknesses and trying to improve them or turn them into strengths. Instead, I should have focused on my strengths more and living at my fullest potential. In the end I wasn't living for the plans and purposes God had for me.

How much time do you spend focusing on your weaknesses? How much energy do you pour into trying to improve the weak areas of your life? There is nothing wrong with trying to improve weak areas or skills. However, do you ever find yourself trying to act like someone else, be like someone else, or trying to change your personality or spiritual gifts to be someone you are not?

Psalm 16:11 says, "You reveal the path of life to me: in Your presence is abundant joy; in Your right hand are eternal pleasures." 

It is not enough to simply know your personality, your spiritual gifts, and your strengths; you must live your life through them. Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, lean your life into your strengths. Focus on becoming all that God created you to be, not what He created someone else to be. 

One of my favorite verses and one that I tend to put in front of my girls as much as possible is Ephesians 2:10....

"For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them."

It is so easy to focus on your weaknesses and to allow your life (and your self-image) to be led by the negatives in life. We can focus so much on what is wrong with us, what is wrong with life--we can end up allowing the weaknesses to become our life.

As I taught a breakout on "Living in Your Strengths" with high school girls at the Girls' Ministry Forum a few weekends ago, I concluded the session with this quote that I want you to ponder today...

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."  - Christopher Robin to Pooh...as written by A.A. Milne.

Girls' Ministry Leaders...God has a plan for your life, a definite purpose that you can fulfill...or not. Look for your strong moments today in ministry. Catch yourself when you are at your best and at your strongest...where you feel strength and life and joy! Even if no one else notices or appreciates the ways you are serving the Lord, live in your strengths. And more importantly, "Be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength." (Eph. 6:10)

The following Bible study could be done almost any time of the year, but it would probably be most meaningful at the end of a year or a special time as you reflect on what God has done.

Opening
To begin, give students the following dates on a piece of paper and instruct them to list what happened on each of the days.

1. July 1776—The 13 colonies sign the Declaration of Independence
2. July 1920—The 19th Amendment is ratified, giving women the right to vote
3. December 7, 1941—The day Japan attacked the U.S. naval base at Pearl Harbor; the U.S. declared war on Japan the next day
4. April 4, 1968—Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated
5. December 1992—First time text messaging was used (not made popular until much later)
6. September 11, 2001—Bombing of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon by terrorists
7. Monday, August 29, 2005—Hurricane Katrina makes landfall
8. January 20, 2009—President Obama was sworn into office
9. June 25, 2009: Michael Jackson, "King of Pop," dies
10. January 27, 2010—Apple unveils iPad

Award a prize to the girl who correctly remembers the most events in history. Explain to girls that some events are easy to remember; others are more difficult; some people remember where they were when an exact event happened (like 9/11). Unfortunately, people tend to forget historical dates over time.

Ask: Why is it easy to forget things, even important things?

Then explain that Scripture actually challenges believers to remember.

Bible Study
Direct girls to read Exodus 14:5-22. Discuss the events leading up to the exodus from Egypt. Explore how the people might have felt, what they might have been thinking and feeling, and how God answered the people's prayer.

Ask: Do you think you would ever forget something like this? Why or why not?

Call on a girl to read Exodus 15:22-24. Discuss with girls what happened in this portion of the story. Discuss how quickly the Israelites forgot about God's providence and how quickly they began to grumble against God and become un-trusting of God. Point out that this takes place in the very next chapter. Talk with girls about how remembering helps us to guard against grumbling and complaining.

Call on another girl to read Deuteronomy 7:12-21. Explain that this was written just as the nation of Israel was embarking on their freedom. Then ask: What does God tell them to do when they become afraid? Talk about verses 18-21, which talk about God's faithfulness to provide for His people and that He would be a strong God.

Application
Give girls a piece of paper and a pen. Instruct girls to create a timeline of sorts, marking times in their lives when God has provided for them. Then spend some time as a group talking about those times in each other's lives. Explain that telling the stories is a way to remember. Also challenge them to journal those times as another way to remember.

Close by allowing girls to voice a prayer, thanking God for always being faithful in their lives.

It’s been a week since we’ve posted on the blog. I think we’re all still processing through the wonderful weekend we had at the Girls Ministry Forum. It was a great time of encouragement, fellowship, worship, practical tips and advice, hugs, candy, laughter, and so much more. We loved getting to interact with girls’ ministry leaders (and all the girls that came!) and hear your hearts. We hope it was a great experience for you. Please take the poll below and let us know your thoughts on the Forum.

Musically speaking
The Billboard Hot 100 charts haven’t changed a bit since last week, so I’ll spare you the repeat.

A movie to think about
I just heard about The Adjustment Bureau, a movie that opens tomorrow (March 4). It stars Matt Damon and Emily Blunt (love her!) and centers on the debate between fate/predestination and free will. (Basically, a rising young politician meets a beautiful dancer by chance and they fall in love, but the caseworkers at The Adjustment Bureau know this is not part of the “plan” for their lives and try to keep them apart.) It raises a lot of questions and is receiving praise in some Christian circles. But I’m concerned it may emphasize and validate our tendency to listen to our emotions over God’s will when making choices. I’ll have to see it and let you know. (If you see it, please leave a comment on this post and let me know what you thought.) Check out an informative article here and visit this interesting site where there’s a good trailer and ongoing comments on the movie.