Girl Talk: The power of your words
by Pam Gibbs

Gossip. Lying. Language. Sensual dialogue. Trash talk. You expect this on a high school campus, but not in church on Wednesday night. But the truth is that girls—even girls in church—struggle with their speech. Help the girls you know prepare for what awaits them in the halls at school (and everywhere else!) by studying the power of their words.
 
This Bible study will help you tackle this tough topic in a practical way. Each session contains interactive quizzes, discussion questions, small-group interaction, prayer, and Bible study. In the end, girls will learn that their words have the power to hurt . . . or to heal.

This Bible study is perfect for all ages of girls, especially if you find yourself constantly dealing with the effects of gossip, lying, and the like. Check out a sample here.

Have you enjoyed leading girls through Girl Talk? Leave a comment and let us know your thoughts!

Loving God with absolute devotion will most certainly include our minds (Matthew 22:37-38). It seems like we constantly enforce this truth with the girls we minister to, but do we think about loving God deeply with all our minds and really apply it How can we love God more deeply today with our thoughts, our intellect, our understanding, our reasoning, even our imaginations?

We can love God deeply in our minds by talking with Him in prayer continually, by learning the truths of His Word, and by asking Him to conform our minds into His likeness. God's thoughts remain toward us throughout each day. Because He is always available to us, our thoughts can also remain on Him. We can maintain conversation with Him and talk with Him about everything that comes our way. When we are faced with choices, we ask Him for direction. When we are troubled or afraid, we can pray for comfort. He is with us wherever we are, and our minds can stay focused on Him. (Read 2 Corinthians 10:5 and 1 John 5:20.)

We can love God deeply with our minds by filling them with His Word. Studying, memorizing, and meditating on the Word of God will help us to be able to capture our thoughts, and to demolish any lies that our enemy would bring against us. Again, this is something we share with those in our girls' ministry, but have we forgotten to pursue this truth for ourselves?

Ask God to reveal to you the condition of your mind. 

 Are there areas of resistance? Things that you don't like to think about or find difficult to even pray about? Would you consider taking a first step today....as a love offering to the One who loves you so much? Would you invite Him into that place....those recurrent thoughts, those persistent sins, that tiring struggle, that place that is too painful to address.

Are you so busy with girls' ministry that resetting your mind on the things of God is taking a backseat? 

Write a simple prayer, inviting God into those thoughts and asking Him to sanctify this area of your thinking with His truth. Ask Him to rewrite the content of your mind, aligning your thinking perfectly with His. Thank Him that He is faithful and that He will do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24).

High school graduation is right around the corner, on the downhill slope from prom and the other "lasts" that seniors are experiencing.Their minds are on graduation and the freedom they will soon experience with college life.

In reality, girls moving on to college have no clue about what they will soon face. They can visit the campus, take the tour, and talk to an advisor, but unless they can glean insight from someone who's been there, it's all theoretical.

That's where today's blog comes in. Leslie Hollowell, collegiate girls' minister at Bellevue Baptist Church, Memphis, Tennessee, provides for high school seniors a quick guide for college survival. The unique thing? It's nothing but quotes from college girls, things they would tell teen girls if they could. The things they say are practical and true.

I got permission from Leslie to share some of them with you. Here are the top tips from that list:

"Keep on hand ear plugs for loud roommates, a sleep eye mask for afternoon naps, and a small fan to drown out nightly noise."

"Call your mom a lot. As much as this is a transition for you, it is for her too!"

"Pray that you would find an older woman/girl to disciple you."

"Get a BIG trash can. You'll be glad you did when you don't have to take it out as often."

"Don't start dating someone your freshman year. Give yourself time to adjust."

"Try not to hide in your room and do the comfortable things (things you are used to) in the first few weeks. Go out and try new things with different ministries."

"Surrounding yourself with other college-age believers who are pursuing Christ will be your lifeline."

"Don't kiss boys you aren't dating. A good reputation is worth more than the attention you'll receive for being a skank."

"You get about 3 tests per semester in each class. If you bomb them, you're sunk. Most classes don't have a lot of graded work or quizzes, so STUDY FOR TESTS (in advance!)."

"Find one church and get involved. Don't church-hop."

"Make at least one friend in each class so that you'll have someone to contact if you have to miss a class."

"Before you start school, make a list of your beliefs, convictions, and standards. Keep looking at them."

"Don't eat your roommate's food unless you ask."

"Talk to your professors. The more they know you (and see that you actually show up for class), the more they will help you will extensions, extra credit, missed assignments, etc.

"Above all, stay in God's Word."

What advice would you give a graduating senior who's headed for college?

We are excited and proud to announce that the winner of our contest for Her: Becoming a Proverbs 31 Girl is.... (drumroll please!)

Kelly Green (notice the green color? Get it? We're so creative around here)

Congratulations! Hear the excitement! The church bells pealing in the distance! The shouts of joy! The confetti falling from the ceiling! See her and the girls in her group dancing in the streets! (um, well, maybe just a little)

If you didn't hear about our contest, don't be too sad. We'll have others. And if you still haven't had a chance to check out our latest Bible study, click on the title above and it'll send you to a sample. And who doesn't like free samples?

Seriously, continue to watch our blog for more chances to win Bible studies for your girls' ministry. And don't forget to leave comments when you read the blog. That gives us a great barometer for whether or not we're meeting the needs of girls' leaders like you!

It’s Maundy Thursday. I’d never heard that term until I moved to Nashville and joined a Baptist church that is very different from the Baptist church in which I was raised. Tonight, I will attend a solemn service and be reminded of the depth of despair that my Savior faced more than 2,000 years ago as He awaited His crucifixion. I can’t say that I’m looking forward to the service, but I do appreciate the way it sets my mind on the pain, blood, anguish, and death of Christ. Somehow, sinking into the darkness and imagining what my Jesus went through makes the joy of Easter morning even sweeter.

I hope that you too can make some time today to give consideration to the bodily sacrifice Jesus knew was imminent as He ate with His disciples and prayed in the garden. And then, as you celebrate His resurrection on Sunday, I hope that you are gripped with joy, peace, and hope. Christ is risen! It can be so easy to lose sight of that in the midst of the candy, family, pastel decorations, and new clothes, but when I stop to think about the magnanimous occasion we’ll be celebrating, I hope everything else in my life (and yours too!) will pale in comparison.   


Music and Lyrics
Unfortunately, there’s not much to celebrate in secular music this week, lyrics-wise, anyway. But here’s a look at the top ten (in downloads and radio airplay combined):
1.    “E.T” by Katy Perry feat. Kanye West
2.    “S&M” by Rihanna (I hate to think how many girls’ innocence was shattered when they inquired about the meaning of this song…)
3.    “Just Can’t Get Enough” by The Black Eyed Peas
4.    “F**k You (Forget You)” by Cee Lo Green
5.    “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga
6.    “Down on Me” by Jeremih feat. 50 Cent (I was curious about the lyrics in this song, so I looked them up. It’s about a girl grinding on a guy on the dance floor, and him basing her desirability as a woman on that alone. Wow. He sounds like a quality guy. [Not really.])
7.    “Look at Me Now” by Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes
8.    “Till the World Ends” by Britney Spears
9.    “On The Floor” by Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull
10.   “Rolling In the Deep” by Adele (Update: there is a curse word in this song. I’d said last week that there was some confusion over what word she was actually saying. I wanted to clarify that there is one bad word. And some talk of revenge. But she did just get her heart broken... not that that excuses it!)
 

Speaking of music, have you talked with your girls about the music at Prom? I realize that Prom may have already happened this year for some of your girls, but if not, take the time to ask them about the music that will be played. Get them thinking about the message of the songs, as well as the type of dancing done to some types of music, especially rap. Help them process through what it says to their classmates and how it affects their witness when they sing along with/dance to a song with inappropriate lyrics. And then, just for emphasis, help them understand what some of the sexual dancing that takes place does to the guys there.

If you haven't heard, Lady Gag is at it again, creating controversy around subjects I didn't think possible. Her new song, "Judas", contains lyrics that make me 1) raise my eyebrows in complete astonishment and 2) want to put my daughter in a convent now to protect her from her generation's version of Lady Gaga (like Madonna was to ours). Here are the lyrics:

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GaGa
Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GaGa

[Lady Gaga - Verse 1]
When he comes to me, I am ready
I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain
Even after three times, he betrays me

I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
A king with no crown, king with no crown

[Chorus]
I'm just a Holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a Holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GaGa

[Lady Gaga - Verse 2]
I couldn't love a man so purely
Even darkness forgave his crooked way
I've learned love is like a brick, you can
Build a house or sink a dead body
I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
A king with no crown, king with no crown


[Chorus]
I'm just a Holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

I'm just a Holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

[Bridge]
In the most Biblical sense,
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute wench, vomits her mind
But in the cultural sense
I just speak in future tense
Judas kiss me if offensed,
Or wear ear condom next time

I wanna love you,
But something's pulling me away from you
Jesus is my virtue,
Judas is the demon I cling to
I cling to

[Chorus]
I'm just a Holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a Holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GAGA
Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GAGA

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/judas-lyrics-lady-gaga.html ]

If you need more to offend you and make you question the future, she says that this song (which wasn't supposed to be released until yesterday, but was "leaked" over the weekend) is "to tell her version of the Bible in her new music video" that accompanies this song. Even after having read the lyrics, I cannot piece together any version of the Bible--any version that remotely resembles the one I read this morning.

[http://www.digitalspy.com/music/news/a313494/lady-gaga-retells-bible-in-judas-video.html]

And lest you think that teen girls don't know or don't care about Lady Gaga, read this comment from a 14-year-old girl: "Lady GaGa is my idol. I can not wait till I go to her concert April 27,2011. I might be 14 yrs. Old but she is the best. I always been a fan of pop. But ever sense Lady GaGa came out I've been a fan of hers. I seen all her gagavisions posted on YouTube and seen every interview. And to me I think I know everything about her by the interviews. She has such a great personality and while other people think her outfits are wiered. I think that's what fashion is and I find it interesting and fabulous. And one of these days I am going to meet GaGa. You all will see."

[http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/lady-gaga-releases-judas-early_1212874]

So the question on my mind is this: how do we as girls' leaders talk about this with our girls? Do you have a plan?

I met Karen at our first girls' ministry forum over a year ago. I was intrigued by personal story and her ministry to non-churched girls. This year, when I saw her at the forum, she was still going strong, giving Bibles and her life to girls who didn't know Job wasn't about occupations. I asked her to tell a bit of her story to the blogging world as a reminder and as an encouragement.

As a teenager I was agnostic. I believed that there must be some authority over the earth but more of a mother nature than the God All Mighty.

I am the youngest of seven children. For many different reasons I was the forgotten child. I have no memories of being held tightly or curling up in the lap of my father. I longed for love and attention. Through my teenage years and young adult life, this longing took me down a path that was not very pretty. Despite my lack of knowledge or belief of God, He was always there protecting me with a plan for my life. (Jer. 29:11)

My husband and I met when I was 21 years old. His name is Guy, which means “warrior”. I believe that God sent him to me to fight for me. We had our first child 3 ½ years later. At the stir of life inside of me, I began a quest to discover who the Creator of life really is. 

It took me ten years to find the answer for I'd been looking for. I got involved in church so that my children would have this love relationship with Christ I never had. I felt like it was too late for me. But, if I could get them into Sunday school, the church ladies could give them what I never had to give. 

They knew the language, a secret code of NIV, KJV & NLT. The church had a lingo that I could not understand. They would say “How is your walk?” or “In my quiet time in my prayer closet, God spoke to me”. This left me believing that they had received the love of God because they had unlocked the code. They were perfect for the job of teaching my children. I would sit in the back of the Sunday school room and hear Bible stories about lion dens, whales, empty tombs and multi-colored coats. Slowly, the secret code was revealed to me. I discovered the One that can completely fill my longings of love. I can curl up in His lap & He sings over me (Zeph.3:17).

I found myself saying “If only I had known!” “If only someone would have told me!" Think of the different choices I would have made in my youth. From this…girls' ministry was born into my life!

It just so happened that at this point my first-born was entering the teenage years. (God’s timing is perfect you know.) I found myself surrounded in my home by teens from the soccer field, the neighborhood, and the classroom. None of them knew the "secret language" and really had never set foot inside a church. I have been given a charge from God to TELL them!

These girls have blessed my life beyond my wildest dreams. I have had a front row seat to watch the transformation of Jesus in their lives as they move from girls to young ladies. We continue to meet every Sunday evening in my home. Our biggest struggle has been using multiple versions of the Bible to teach the girls each week. But God provided. I asked a donor for ten Bibles (for each girl I thought would come)—and received 18! The following week we had fourteen girls join us. I can’t wait to see who the other four Bibles are for.

What is amazing to me is that other mothers of teen girls have been asking how I started this ministry. I think their desire is to reach their childrens' friends as well. But there's really no formula. It's all about relationships and starting very basic, breaking down "the secret code" by walking through Scripture together.

I am excited about sharing with others this journey over the months ahead and hope you are blessed by what you read. Enjoy!

(Karen resides in Indiana with her husband and two children. She is passionate about sharing with teen girls that their Father in Heaven loves them.)

Do you have a story like Karen's? Or are you guilty of being in the "club" and using the "secret code"? We'd love to hear your stories—good and not-so-good. Leave a comment and share so we can all grow together in this faith journey.

Recently a colleague gave me a copy of "Sexual Purity: Questions and Answers" that had been put together by the youth ministry team at First Southern Baptist Church, Scottsdale, Arizona. Some of the questions, especially those with a more "female" slant, intrigued me. I thought it would be helpful to post these. Some of the girls in your group may be asking (or WANTING to ask) the same questions:

Can you become a virgin again?

I'm afraid my future husband might have had sex. If he has, can God still bless our sexual intimacy?

What is an aphrodisiac?

Since oral sex is not fornication, is it OK?

Why does sex physically hurt?

My boyfriend had sex before he met me. Is there any way to help him forget about it?

Is it OK, if when your husband dies, for you have la lot of boyfriends and never settle down?

What is mono?

Can a girl get pregnant from oral sex?

Can a girl get pregnant on her period?

Is it wrong to use birth control when you are married?

What are the statistics for male and female rape?

Is sex the only way to get pregnant?

Is it OK to dirty dance/grind?

And one of my personal favorites:

Why do girls act like an evil demon once in a while? My mom says I'd learn when I get older...Umm, I am 18 and I'm not a girl. (I know this was written by a guy, but I think it's funny...and a place for a discussion among girls about emotions and PMS.)

I’m not sure about the rest of you, but the picture from that last post about Soul Surfer has been making me want to drink “Ice Blue” Kool-Aid® and go to the beach. I mean, the water in that picture is gorgeous—exactly the color of my favorite flavor of Kool-Aid (which I haven’t had in years, btw). Scroll down and stare at it as you take a brief mental vacation. But come back. We're not finished here.

Now, this has absolutely NOTHING to do with girls’ ministry (except that most of us church kids grew up drinking watered-down Kool-Aid at VBS, right?), but now I’m curious. What’s your favorite flavor of Kool-Aid?
 

Now, back to an actual girl-related topic. I’m happy to say that Soul Surfer is No. 4 at the box office this week. And judging from Sissy’s previous post, I’d say there’s a good chance it’ll stay in the Top 10 for awhile. Not much else is new in the Top 10 at the movies, except for the violent, teen-girl-as-fierce-spy movie Hanna. It came in at No. 2 on the charts this week. It’s rated PG-13 and is intense and very violent. Just so you know.

Musically speaking...
Nothing new is happening on the charts . . . so I won’t bore you with those details.

Have you heard about British pop star Jessie J? I saw her for the first time on “Saturday Night Live” a few weeks back, and while I wasn’t impressed with her outfit (or what was left of it), I was impressed with her voice. And I also liked the lyrics to one of the songs she sang on the show, titled “Mamma Knows Best.” (If only we could get all of the girls in our ministries to agree with her!) Here are a couple of excerpts from the song, in which she’s ending a relationship with a guy who doesn’t treat her well:

Mama knows best when times get hard
And papa always has a joke to make me laugh
Mama knows best when
I feel down, to bring me up
And always keep my feet on the ground

…

Don't ever take life too seriously,
Just do you, 'cuz you do you so perfectly

Mama, mama knows best
Daddy, daddy knows best

While I’m certainly not endorsing all of her music (some of it has explicit lyrics) or saying she’s a good role model, she’s presenting some fairly positive messages in the songs I've heard. Here’s an excerpt from one of her songs, “Price Tag,” which is getting radio play right now:

It's not about the money, money, money / We don't need your money, money, money / We just wanna make the world dance, / Forget about the Price Tag

Ain't about the (uh) Ka-Ching Ka-Ching. / Ain't about the (yeah) Ba-Bling Ba-Bling / Wanna make the world dance, / Forget about the Price Tag.

We need to take it back in time, / When music made us all UNITE! / And it wasn't low blows and video Hoes, / Am I the only one getting... tired? [No, you're not the only one, Jessie J.]

Why is everybody so obsessed? / Money can't buy us happiness / Can we all slow down and enjoy right now / Guarantee we'll be feeling / Alright.

I’m not saying it’s good theology. But hopefully her music might make girls think a little bit. Or at least help them realize what a good singing voice can do. The girl can SING.

And speaking of music that makes you think . . .
Laura Story’s new CD Blessings just released. Oh my goodness. When she came by the office a few weeks ago to chat with our team, I thought to myself, I’ve never met an artist so humble. Or so sweet. This girl loves Jesus and loves to lead others to worship him. Her transparency is refreshing, and her songs are incredible. Check out Laura's website here!

I'm not above "stealing" from others' blogs. Especially when I ask permission. In this case, a great friend and colleague, Sissy Goff, put a "note" on Facebook about the new Soul Surfer movie. Her thoughts echoed mine, so I thought post them here:

So, lately, I've been really wrestling with a few television shows.  Glee, in particular, has made me so sad. The way they have addressed alcohol, sex, purity, and now Jesus in the past few months have honestly just made me really discouraged for the messages that are being aimed at kids.  And, to me, Glee seems even more discouraging than a show like Gossip Girl, where you know what you're in for.  I have so many girls--from grade school and up, who watch Glee.  It's just so sing-along-ish fun to watch these kids who stand up for themselves and each other in a way that makes every kid feel important--or at least it used to be.

But tonight, I saw Soul Surfer.  I honestly wasn't sure I was going to do it. But I went for a lot of the same reason I read Twilight and The Hunger Games...to be able to have conversations with the girls who are seeing it.  And I was blown away.  I was teary through about 3/4 of the movie and was a complete surfer--or at least Bethany fan--by the end.  This is one movie I hope every girl will see.  It offers truth and hope wrapped up in a believable, endearing, one-heck-of-a courageous teenage girl.  That's something worth watching--and paying for.  Maybe Bethany could do a guest spot on Glee, to show them what it really looks like to stand up for yourself--with kindness and courage.

During this season of Lent, I am always interested to hear what some of my friends have given up. Several of them gave up dessert. That was awkward during my birthday this past weekend, when I had to eat cake and ice cream more than once in front of them. But one dear friend of mine didn’t give up food or Cokes or anything she could put in her body. She gave up negativity for Lent. Which is interesting, considering she’s one of the most positive, upbeat people I know. And actually, she has a few reasons to be negative in this season of life: her husband, an Air Force pilot, is being deployed and is currently stationed far away from their current home in Minot, North Dakota. She has a 15-month old and gets to be a single mom for the time being. And she loves warm weather, so North Dakota is not her cup of tea. And just to top it off, she’s in school, studying to be a nurse practitioner.
 

When I saw her last weekend, she was coming off a two-day roadtrip during which she’d loaded her baby and as many possessions as would fit into her car and headed down from North Dakota to Mississippi to live with her parents for awhile during her husband’s deployment. Her mother-in-law had flown in to help and come along for the ride. My friend was likely tired—mentally, emotionally, and physically. Yet she still summoned the strength to bite her tongue when the temptation to be negative struck. It was quite convicting to watch her adeptly change the subject that we were (negatively) discussing. And this happened more than once in the 24 hours we were together.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the negative side of things. After all, life rarely goes as we plan. But whether or not you give things up for Lent, will you consider checking yourself before those negative words come out of your mouth? I’m planning to . . . and not just until Easter. I want it to be a new way of life for me.

So, with that being said, I’m going to try to positively (but truthfully!) review some of the music on the Top 10 charts this week.

Top 10 in the Billboard Hot 100

There are not many positive things I can say about the songs that are most downloaded and played on the radio these days. (Philippians 4:8 just keeps coming to mind for some reason…  ) But here they are:
1.    “E.T.” by Katy Perry, feat. Kanye West
2.    “S&M” by Rihanna
3.    “Just Can’t Get Enough” by The Black Eyed Peas
4.    “F**k You (Forget You)” by Cee Lo Green
5.    “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga
6.    “Look At Me Now” by Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes
7.    “Down on Me” by Jeremih feat. 50 Cent
8.    “On the Floor” by Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull
9.    “F**kin’ Perfect” by P!nk
10.    “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele (I love this song! So retro, pretty, and fun to sing along with. Although, there is some disagreement as to one word in the lyrics that can be interpreted as a curse word. But others think it’s “ship” or “sheet.”)

Let’s all go to the movies
If you’re looking to go to the movies this weekend, you might want to check out Soul Surfer. The story of Bethany Hamilton, a teenage surfer who lost her arm in a shark attack, comes from a Christian film company and has received lots of kudos from everyone who’s seen it. Starring Carrie Underwood, Helen Hunt, Dennis Quaid, and AnnaSophia Robb, it’s rated PG and officially opens tomorrow, Friday, April 8.

Here’s what’s in the top 10 for movies right now:

1.    Hop [PG]: From the creators of Despicable Me (which was hilarious!), this is a story about the Easter Bunny’s teenage son who wants to be in a band.
2.    Source Code [PG-13]. This one looks fascinating to me. It’s an action thriller centered on a soldier who wakes up in the body of an unknown man and discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a commuter train. Supposedly, it’s got action, mystery, and love all rolled up into one intense movie.
3.    Insidious [PG-13]: I don’t like scary movies, but apparently this one is quite original. It’s about a family trying to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called The Further. (That’s not biblical at all…)
4.    Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules [PG]: Brothers are forced to bond in this flick.
5.    Limitless [PG-13]
6.    The Lincoln Lawyer [R]
7.    Sucker Punch [PG-13]
8.    Rango [PG]
9.    Paul [R]
10.  Battle: Los Angeles [PG-13]