Special thanks to Jennifer Stoltzfus, a student at Palm Beach Atlantic University in West Palm Beach, Florida and summer intern for the LifeWay Women's Event team, for writing the following post.

 “How can a young woman keep her way pure? By living according to Your word. I seek You with all of my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You.” Psalm 119:9-11

I sat on my parent’s bed and wept. “Mom. It’s just not fair!!” She was gracious to show compassion to her devastated 13 year old daughter. You would think something tragic had occurred in my poor little life. (And at the time, I would have called it worse than a tragedy!) What had actually happened was that my youth pastor had decided to take the middle school students and the high school students on two different winter retreats. As an eighth grader, I was so disappointed.

My youth pastor refused to budge despite my weekly plea to allow 8^th graders on the trip. Instead of completely shutting me down, he gave me a challenge. It was summer time, and he told me that if I memorized the entire book of James by Christmas he would allow me to go on the January trip.

That was all it took.

My competitive nature kicked into high gear. At first, it had very little to do with my desire to “hide God’s word in my heart.” (It had everything to do with me wanting to go skiing in Tennessee!)

To the surprise of all, on Thanksgiving Day in 2003 I finished. The next week I recited all 5 chapters, 108 verses to my pastor. To the dismay of my older brother and sister hoping for a trip without their annoying little sister, I attended the January trip.

Thankfully, God saw beyond my impure motives for selfish gain. From this challenge, He produced in me a deep hunger for the Word and unquenchable desire to hide it in my heart.

As a high school student my mind wasn’t plagued with thoughts of the cute boy in my class, how much I weighed, or who might ask me to homecoming. Instead, the words I had selfishly memorized would flow through my mind as I strolled through the hallways or sat in detention (yes, it’s true!).

I don’t think it is possible for me to express how different my life would be if this habit had not been instilled in me as a young girl. The Lord has brought beauty from my selfishness by reminding me of His word during times when I never would have sought it out.

In the years since I have memorized the book of Philippians, a couple chapters of Romans, and various Psalms. As a college student I am working on Ephesians with a darling girl that I mentor. I know the power of having a sharp sword (Ephesians 6:17) and I know the plan of the enemy is to destroy it.

Here’s the problem: Your girls will NEVER be able to identify the lies that Satan will daily speak over them unless they know the TRUTH. I don’t mean “know” as in “heard it once in Bible study” I mean “know” as in “quote it back to that slimy serpent EVERY time he tries to deceive me.” (Matthew 4:1-11)

May I challenge you to challenge your girls to “hide God’s word in their hearts that they might not sin against Him”? Set a goal. Give them an incentive. (Hey, if they start with a desire to ski and end with a heart full a Scripture it was worth it, eh?) Start small. Do it with them.

Here are some ideas:

-          Psalm 100 (5 verses) – Speaks of the glory of God!

-          Proverbs 31:10-31 (22 verses) – Speaks of becoming a woman of noble character.

-          Psalm 139 (24 verses) –Speaks about God knowing us before we were made.

-          Romans 8 (39 verses) – Speaks of the power of the Spirit setting us free from sin.

Jen A little more info on our guest blogger - Jennifer received Christ as her Savior at a young age, but her walk with Him has been anything but ordinary. As a high school student she fell in love with reading, studying, and memorizing the word of God and that love carried over into her college years. She is a Biblical Studies major at Palm Beach Atlantic University where she serves as an intern to her campus pastor, allowing her the privilege of serving, leading and encouraging the gals at PBA. She loves coffee, thunderstorms, and chocolate chip ice cream.

If you are looking for a way to equip parents in this area, consider the resource The Path of Purity: A Family Guide. 

 

Girls Ministry Handbook
By Jimmie Davis

Confused? Scared? Unsure about what to do next? If you’re starting, leading, or volunteering in your church’s girls’ ministry, this is the book for you.

The Girls' Ministry Handbook is the perfect guide for a minister or volunteer who wants to begin and nurture a girls' ministry in her local church. Written by girls’ ministry pioneer Jimmie Davis, it provides basic information on the need for girls' ministry and the steps to starting one. It also gives lots of practical tips that the leader can use as she plans activities and Bible studies for teen girls. Additionally, this book guides the leader in developing a well-rounded ministry that focuses not only on teen girls, but also their families.

If you’ve read this book, please take a minute to let us know what you thought about it in the comments section. Thanks! And if you haven't read it, please check out the sample here.

I have a mild fascination with Lady Gaga.

Maybe it's because I majored in psychology in college and pursued my master's in counseling for a short time. Perhaps it's because the human psyche intrigues me. I love to sit in the airport and watch people.

Part of my curiosity stems from the throngs of fans that follow Lady Gaga religiously. And part of my curiousity stems from her background—a classically trained musician who comes from a conservative background.

In the spring, 60 Minutes did an interview with her. After watching it, I thought it would be worth sharing with people who work with girls and who want to understand their world. While I am still baffled by some of what she says, I can understand why so many teens have embraced Lady Gaga—outrageousness and all.

According to The Nielson Company, Americans spend 20 percent of their day watching TV.

Now that shows are, for the most part, wrapped up for the summer, girls in your ministry may be watching “So You Think You Can Dance” on Wednesday and Thursday nights on Fox. Basically, it’s “American Idol” for dancers, and I think it’s highly entertaining. Dancers perform fascinating routines in all types of genres. One thing I love about it is that the female dancers aren’t skinny. They’re dancers, so they have muscles (and you can see pretty much all of them because their costumes sometimes leave little to the imagination). No super-skinny ladies here, except for the occasional ballroom star who makes it into the top 20. If you or your girls watch it, here are some things to think about/discuss:

• What do you think about the dancer’s costumes?

• How do those dancers showcase the amazing things our bodies can do?

• How does this show make you feel about your body?

• What things/issues/ideas does this show lift up?

• Do any of the routines make you uncomfortable? Why?

Summer reading

As I shared on the blog a few weeks ago, I recently saw Water for Elephants. It was a decent movie, and one that older teens could probably handle seeing. My book club just read the book that the movie is based on (I hate that I saw the movie before I read the book!), and I must say that the movie is cleaner than the book. When I heard that some students had Water For Elephants on their summer reading list for school, I was shocked! There are some pretty graphic scenes dealing with a stripper, a threesome, masturbation, and extramarital/premarital sex. I think this is not acceptable reading material for our students at all, and it definitely should not be recommended as summer reading for them.

Are there any other books your students want/are required to read right now that you’re not sure about? Leave a comment, and hopefully we can all help each other out!

Today we’re featuring a guest post from our summer intern, Alex Rhoades. Alex is a senior at Union University interning at LifeWay this summer in Student Ministry Publishing. She likes swimming pools, lacrosse, salty snacks, and Johnny Depp movies. Today, she shares about the importance of mentoring in her own life and how she wishes she’d had a mentoring relationship when she was in high school. If you’re considering mentoring teenage girls, consider this your invitation. You know, as if Titus 2:3-5 wasn’t invitation enough. ;)

With my arms full of thick science textbooks, glossy folders, loose-leaf papers, and a small, green Bible, I walked into the coffee shop. Quickly scanning the dimly lit room, I spotted a friendly, familiar face waiting in line for the cashier to take her latte order. I took a seat on a couch in the center of the room and was soon joined by the friendly face who came bearing caramel flavored drinks. Over sips of coffee and relaxing lounge music, the conversation between my friend and I flowed effortlessly from updates on classes to discussions on roommates and social activities. While this may appear to be just a conversation with a supportive friend, this was actually a meeting with my mentor, and the casual discussion was soon followed by my mentor guiding me toward passages in the Bible.   

If there was one thing I was not lacking in college and high school, it was advice and guidance. From magazines and TV to athletes and musicians, it seemed like everywhere I looked I could find a surplus of information pertaining to my problems or general life advice. There was also my Bible, of course, but unfortunately teenagers do not always use the best judgment when deciding where to look for guidance. This lack of wisdom and maturity was where my mentor stepped in. She constantly guided me toward the Bible and encouraged me to seek godly solutions to my problems. I knew that whenever I needed to talk to someone or pray over an issue, I could turn to her for support and guidance. Her sound reasoning and wisdom beyond my years also helped me to grow tremendously in my faith.  

While I did not have a mentor until college, one of my good friends did have a mentor in high school. Seeing the spiritual maturity of my friend and the strong relationship she has with her mentor has made me realize the advantage of having a mentor in high school. When my friend was faced with peer pressure and the drama of high school, she had her mentor to confide in and seek advice. She did not always want to talk to her parents about her problems, and instead, she was able to turn to her mentor. By the time my friend came to college, she was spiritually mature enough to be a mentor to younger girls.

Whether it’s casually meeting for coffee or having an in-depth Bible study, mentors provide necessary spiritual guidance for teenage girls. While I did not have a steady mentor until college, girls would benefit from having a godly mentor in high school. During the formative high school years, mentors help girls develop spiritually, and this early spiritual growth will help girls stay grounded in college. With the numerous issues girls face, it is important that they have a godly mentor to help guide and counsel them.  

As is often the case with adults, I am a little slow to hear about music that preteen and teen girls are listening to. I just came across this song from Selena Gomez, who has a gigantic following of preteens and some younger teens (it loaded on You Tube in March). Her song, Who Says?, has gained popularity of late. Below is the video of this song. What is interesting, if not ironic, is that she is a strikingly beautiful girl. Even that fact could be a great introduction for a discussion/Bible study about how teen girls view themselves.

If you didn't have the opportunity to watch this in real-time, you can watch the segments here. Be prepared to be angry, sad, and frustrated. You can use these clips for your own research, for training leaders, and for helping parents understand the world girls (and guys) live in.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I had heard a little bit about I Am Second, but hadn't checked it out until today. A colleague emailed me the link to surfer Bethany Hamilton's video:

You could use this Web site to introduce any number of topics. And I love that the people featured are "heroes" for students—people who love God and work in the marketplace. Gives girls (and all of us) a reminder that God uses us where we are to impact those in our sphere of influence.

Thought you might want to check it out for yourself.

 Any other cool sites that girls' ministry leaders need to check out? Leave them in the comments!

Got plans in September? Need to use some of your training budget before the budget year ends? Want to hang out with some of the best folks in student ministry? Then come join us for the LifeWay National Youth Workers' Conference. It's held here in Nashville (or Nashvegas as we call it) on September 12-14. Here's a short video to introduce a couple of the speakers:

LNYWC Promo 3 from Hal Sandifer on Vimeo.

Check out the Web site to get more information on the basics (cost, location, all that jazz) and a list of breakout speakers and topics—including ministry to teen girls. See you there!

Cue Martina McBride's new song "Teenage Daughters."

I read an interesting article this morning (thanks to Pam Gibbs) that I thought was great, especially for mothers of preteen and teenage daughters. I'm not a mom, but I'm filing this article away in case I have daughters one day. You can bet I'll be bringing it out when their defiant natures start to read their ugly heads. (Which in my case was at the age of 2. Uh oh.) So click here for a little advice from Darlene Brock, author of Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters, if you are taking on the most difficult job in the world, raising daughters. And if you're not, pass it on to someone who is!

True Princess: Embracing Humility in an All-About Me World
By Erin Davis

A true princess is special because she is the daughter of someone special. Everything she does points back toward her father. If a princess acts recklessly, it isn’t just her reputation that suffers. The honor and image of the throne is at stake. This study helps girls understand that their sense of entitlement won't get them anywhere in the kingdom of God. Humility is essential, and True Princess will guide girls in grades 7-12 through Scripture as a group and individually to help them understand the importance of living as a daughter of the King. Check out a sample of True Princess here.

We’d love your feedback if you’ve led girls through True Princess. Leave a comment and let us know your thoughts!

 If then there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by thinking the same way, having the same love, sharing the same feelings, focusing on one goal. Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not [only] for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.        -- Philippians 2:1-4

I spent Saturday in large auditoriums watching seniors clad in caps and gowns graduate. It was bittersweet to watch the girls I’ve journeyed beside for several years close this chapter of their lives. I’m not a mom, but I felt like one, wondering where the time went and marveling at how grown up all my girls looked. They’re definitely becoming young women . . . although they still have their girl moments! (Don’t we all? This was especially evident when the cicadas began to wreak havoc on the post-graduation picture fest. Outside the events centers at both of the graduations I attended, the cicadas began to harass the crowd as soon we stepped out of the air conditioning building. I saw one man get a cicada stuck in his eyeglasses. I saw beautiful girls, dressed in their best, scream and spaz out as the bugs flew into them and became tangled in their hair. Nothing like gross insects to bring out one’s inner child, right?!)

Are you on the graduation circuit right now? If so, I’d love to hear about it. Outside of the typical senior recognition at church, what do you and/or your ministry do to celebrate graduations—gifts, commissionings, etc.? Please help me and other leaders by leaving a comment with what you’ve done to celebrate this important occasion. I can only imagine what great ideas are out there!

Music

There are a few newcomers on the charts this week. . .

• At number 2 is “Give Me Everything” by Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, AfroJack, and Nayer (A modern version of “eat, drink, and be merry [or have casual sex], for tomorrow we die…” set to rap music)
• Number 8 is “The Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga
• Number 9 is “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO feat. Lauren Bennett and GoodRock (If they were still making Jock Jams CDs, this one would be on there.)
• Number 10 is “I’m On One” by DJ Khaled feat. Drake, Rick Ross, and Lil Wayne

Movies

The summer blockbusters are starting to come out, so there’s no surprise on the charts: Hangover 2, Kung Fu Panda 2, and the latest Pirates of the Caribbean are on top of the list.  But I’m excited to get a sneak peak tomorrow of a movie you probably haven’t heard of: For the Glory. I get the feeling it’s in the same vein as To Save a Life and Soul Surfer, but check back next week for a full review.