At a recent girls' event, I had the opportunity to hang out with about 100 high school girls. I handed out sheets of paper and told them to ask any question they wanted...something they'd always wanted to know, an issue they were wrestling with, fears they were facing, anything. What I got was a beautiful look into the hearts and minds of the next generation. Because the session focused on prayer, lots of their questions centered around that, but some zingers were thrown in, too. The girls in your group are undoubtedly dealing with some of these same issues, so I thought I'd pass along their questions. Some of them would make a great Bible study.

• How do I know what God's will is for my life?
  
• How do I know when I am hearing God and not just making stuff up in my head?
  
• Why doesn't God seem to answer my prayers?
  
• What do I talk to God about? 
  
• What do I do when I don't feel close to God?
  
• How do you know if you are a good Christian person? And if you're not, how do you fix it?
  
• Is it wrong not to want to pray in front of other people?
  
• Does what we say or ask of God affect what God does?
  
• Why do we mess up?
  
• Why do we pray for others to be healed or circumstances to change if GOd know best and we can't change His mind?

• Are we as girls' ministry leaders creating an atmosphere in which girls can give voice to these thoughts?
  
• Am I allowing girls to wrestle with their faith, or am I more focused on telling them what I think and what I believe?
  
• Are girls turning away from the faith because they are finding Christianity lacking in answering the deep questions they face?
  
• Am I modeling for girls my own comfort with unanswered questions? Are they exposed to the majesty and mystery of God because they've been with me? Or do they see a watered-down, bland, predictable system of morality?

Although my girls probably have a hard time imagining me as a teenage girl, it happened. I can remember being full of energy, telling funny stories...or scary stories. Teen girls are a blast. Who else do you know that will do something such as licking all the double stuff creme out of the oreos, and then share them with her friends as if it is a new package!? (And the friends actually eat them!)

There are a few things I've discovered from being a teen girl, ministering to teen girls, and now to having my own teen girls. Many things change in girl world, but there are a few things that are the same now as they were "way back then!" And knowing these things can make your ministry to them a lot more effective.

1. Girls need to know they are a priority to you. When you set aside time for small group, Bible study, or an event, plan and be ready for them. Try to avoid cancelling anything - no matter how small. They need to see and hear that they are worth the effort.

2. Girls need to be encouraged. We know they have insecurities and doubts about who they are and what has planned for their future. We know they can be self-absorbed. So, take time to listen to your girls. Find out what they are struggling with and what they see as a strength. Discover the pressures and stresses they feel as they try to balance school, church, homelife, and growing up. When you know a girl is having difficulties with a friendship or her social life, send her a Facebook message or a text (or even an old fashioned handwritten note!) Let the girls vent to you and then share biblical wisdom and encouragement. 

3. Girls need to know they can change. The one girl who seems flighty and shallow in middle school may become one of your deeper thinkers in high school. By leading a small group you provide a way for a teen girl to discover God's truths and herself. You also may be providing a place where a girl can change. She may need to change the places she hangs out and the people she hangs out with. Small groups, church, someone's home or a local coffee or ice cream shop can be a place where she feels accepted and loved. A place where she belongs and is free to change. 

When it comes down to it, there are a lot of things about teen girls that have stayed the same through the decades. Then and now girls need to know that Jesus loves them. Then and now girls need to know there are people in their lives that consider them priority and put them first. Then and now girls need encouragement. And then and now, girls need to know that they change and God can transform their lives. 

No need to explain the reason for today's blog post. Here it is. 

Lifeway Girls Live - Jimmie Davis from LifeWay Productions on Vimeo.

How do you deal with drama in your girls' ministry? We'd love to hear your comments.

I am the first to admit it—I am losing my memory.

A colleague (male) said in a meeting recently, "You know what that's called? Mental-pause."

Great. As if menopause wasn't enough to look forward to, I've got this.

Because I think (hope!) that I'm not the only one in the world who thinks about something and totally forgets it within thirty second, I thought it might be helpful to give you some links to some training that you may have wanted to be a part of but couldn't or flat forgot about. Just click on the titles and zap! you're there!

An Inside Look at Outside Expectations—This is our most recent video webcast and it features Constance Rhodes, a woman whose striving to live peacefully wthin her own skin after battling an eating disorder. She offers some great tools for dealing with it in your own church, and more poignantly, your own life. It's an hour long, but it's worth the time. If you need to break the time into segments, that'll work, too. Just don't miss it.

Girls in Crisis—This video training is an hour-long look at girls and the crises they face. It features two of my favorite people in the world, Sissy Goff and Melissa Trevathan, who together with their dogs (who are almost as cute as mine) help give hope and healing to teenage girls through individual and group counseling. In this webcast, they provide some insights into girls and their toughest issues—a must-see for any girls leader and any parent of a preteen or teen girl. (You might want to pass along this link to those moms in your group.)

In addition to our hour-long webcasts, we've also produced some short video clips that you could easily watch on your lunch break, while the pasta is cooking, or in that ten minutes of sanity while the kids are playing dress up with the dog. They are listed and described below:

Nurturing Your Own Soul—This features Nancy Hamilton, a veteran of ministry who bears the scars fo trying to do ministry without a soul-enriching relationship with Jesus. Listen in as she talks about the importance of nurturing your own spiritual growth.

When Girls Make Poor Choices—This features the irrepressible Courtney Veasey, a recent graduate of New Orleans Seminary and doctoral student at Golden Gate Seminary. While working on school, she's also lived in the trenches as a girls' minister, and shares her stories with honesty and freshness. In this particular clip, she talks about what to do when that "perfect" girl makes some very poor choices.

Mentoring and Discipling Girls—This features another veteran of ministry, Amy Pierson. Formerly the girls' minister at Prestonwood Baptist and now a missionary in New York, Amy has made mentoring and discipling girls a way of life, not just something she marks of her checklist. Listen in as she shares her insights and passion for passing on the faith to the next generation.

And don't forget this important fact—you can get training like this, along with great networking opportunities, fabulous speakers, and amazing worship at our annual girls' conference. Bring your leaders and your high school girls to this two-day time with Jesus and some fellow sisters! Keynote speakers include Hayley DiMarco, Erin Davis, and Oceila Gibson, Miss Black USA 2011; Jaime Jamgochian will lead worship. More information will be online soon, but save the date now—February 24-25, 2012.

Today’s blog comes from guest blogger, Megan Bryan. Megan is a senior journalism major at Middle Tennessee State University. She has had a heart for girls’ ministry since she was seventeen, and has always felt a calling in journalism. She dances in her car, loves watching the Atlanta Braves play baseball, and enjoys the rare days she gets to sleep in!


In my 21 years of age, I’ve never actually felt old. I’ve considered myself (wrongly) to be hip, staying up-to-date on the genres of music the girls in my life group class were listening to, the latest fashions, and what “type” of boys they’re interested in. All of this changed, however, when I invited the middle school girls at my church over to my apartment for a slumber party. That’s when I realized it—while most others would consider me to be young, I’m old to these girls.

That wasn’t a great feeling.

While I was dwelling in the feeling of being “old”—ugh, I haven’t accepted it yet—scripture from Titus kept popping into my mind.

“In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. [They are] to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and children, to be sensible, pure, good homemakers, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered.”-Titus 2:3-5

Okay, so obviously, being unmarried and not being a mother, I’m not teaching my middle school girls to love their husbands and children. But look at what verses 3-4 say:

“Older women are to be reverent in behavior…so that they may encourage the young women.”

As a life group teacher to an amazing group of eighth grade girls, my lifestyle must be one that these girls can look to as an example. So, maybe I’m not “old,” but I am older. As an older girl, I’m capable of offering wisdom and insight to the girls that I work with each week. I have a group of eight girls that are like younger sisters, and it’s amazing that they look up to ME!

Leaders, do you have girls that look to you as an example? How does your lifestyle point them to Christ?

Today's guest blog comes from Mickey McCloud, one of the best things to ever come out of the state of Texas beside bbq! Mickey McCloud understand girls and their needs. She grew up in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and graduated from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Interpersonal Communication. She interned at LifeWay Christian Resources in the summer of 2010 and thankfully, they let her stay! She is now serving as the Department Assistant in the Women’s Training and Events department. She is addicted to $1 McDonald Diet Coke's and telling corny jokes.

I’ve got a case of the “mentoring jitters” in the worst way.

Next Sunday will be my first meeting with a new group of 8^th grade girls. I am anxious and excited at the same time. I want to skip all of the uncomfortable silences, skeptic glances and nervous stutters. I want to fast-forward so they aren’t embarrassed to be my Facebook friend or hug me at church. I want to skip forgetting their names and confusing their stories. I just want to be in their lives already and have them bombard me with text messages containing far too many emoticons. :-)  :-)

I know the initial phase of mentoring is awkward. I may not be in middle school, but those same feelings of insecurity affect me now. I worry that I’m not the leader they wanted and question whether I’m even worthy of being a spiritual mentor in their lives.But as I prepare for this new season and face my ‘jitters’ head on, I remember so many lessons the Lord has taught me both as a mentor and a mentee.

Here are five cures to the ‘jitters’ that I’ve learned along the way:

1.       Don’t force connection.

 All too often I try to force chemistry. I want to connect with each and every girl. I want each one to be so special to me, and me to them. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way. Not to say that you show favoritism, or ignore certain girls. However, it does mean that you pray and ask God to show you those girls that are drawn to you. I will never forget a youth minister who once told me, “Mickey, there are hearts only you can mend, and lives only you can touch this summer”. His simple phrase has comforted me throughout my years of mentoring. Our Lord doesn’t expect us to have this kind of relationship with every girl we encounter. Rather, with His guidance, He can lead us to those who due to our background, struggles, and gifts may be more drawn to us than others. Let your connections be natural and let them be driven by the Spirit.

Be   Be yourself.

 I have always had a “cool complex”. Who doesn’t want to be “cool?” I want these girls to think I know everything about the Jonas Brothers and Twilight (even though I know more about Hanson and Babysitter’s Club). I want them to think that I spend my time going on dates with cute boys and that I wear the most fashionable clothes. I worry that “me” just won’t be enough. However, perhaps one of the most important things they can see me do is be myself. Girls need mentors who know who they are and who they belong to. You must remember that being yourself is enough.

If it’s important to them, it’s important to you.

I remember confiding in adults and feeling so silly. They thought my concerns were insignificant and immature. I needed them to tell me it was okay to feel the way I did. By not taking me seriously, our relationship never progressed. No matter how immature their stories are, or how many fights and breakups you have to listen to, take them seriously. They need to be heard and understood. Perhaps one of the most influential things my youth minister ever said to me was, “If it’s affecting your heart, then it’s affecting mine too”. Learning to take their hearts seriously is one of the best ways to show care and concern.

Love them where they are now.

Old run-down house? I see potential. Long stringy hair? I see potential. Burnt casserole? I see potential. I see potential everywhere, but rarely do I love things exactly how they are. It’s difficult to love them now when I’m too focused on how great they could be in the future. I have to learn that they aren’t there yet, and that’s okay! They need me to not only encourage them for the future, but to affirm them on the path they are already on.

 5.     It’s not about You. It’s about Him.

In the end, it’s just not about you or me. It’s about Him. I want them to love me, sure, but I want them to love Him more. 

Do you ever experience the ‘mentoring jitters’? If so, tell us about them in the comments below!

Her: Becoming a Proverbs 31 Girl
by Emily Cole

Do the girls in your ministry suffer from a lack of godly role models?

Her is a Bible study that guides girls to embody the characteristics of the woman in Proverbs 31. At the beginning of each week, they’ll spend time learning about a trait of that woman, and then they’ll spend the rest of the week learning about that characteristic elsewhere in the Bible. And all of this is contained in a journal that they’ll want to use. In the back, there’s a guide for girls who would like to lead their friends through this study, as well as a conversation guide to help girls connect with their moms as they study Her together. For a sample of this study, please click here.

If you’ve led girls through Her, leave a comment and let us know your thoughts!

It really is amazing when you watch how God works and moves and calls individuals to serve Him. There are so many incredible people living for Jesus. And Katie Davis is one of those people.

If you are not familiar with Katie's calling to Uganda, you need to be.

What started with one mission trip turned into an incredible calling. If you are not inspired by her story of following Jesus wherever He leads, you need to be. God is using her to transform lives. And if you ever wonder if God is calling some of the high school girls in your girls' ministry or student ministry to something huge, you can count on it. What you do for the girls in your youth ministry makes a difference in their lives, and they in turn will make a difference in the lives of others.

Be inspired and know that God has a great plan and purpose for the life of every girl you minister to each day through your girls' ministry. And He has a great plan and purpose for you. Blessings as you serve Him today.

Today's blog comes from Megan Bryan, one of our beloved interns at LifeWay. Megan is a senior journalism major at Middle Tennessee State University. She has had a heart for girls’ ministry since she was seventeen, and has always felt a calling in journalism. She dances in her car, loves watching the Atlanta Braves play baseball (so sorry for you, Megan), and enjoys the rare days she gets to sleep in!

I recently watched the movie Cyberbully on ABC Family. I’m not a huge fan of made-for-television movies, but I had seen this one advertised and it sparked my interest. In the movie, Taylor, a high school student, starts a profile on a social media network. Shortly after the creation, her profile is littered with degrading comments about her, and her reputation at school is ruined.

The movie is exaggerated (hence the made-for-television aspect), but the situation is real in the lives of many middle- and high-school girls today. With a computer to hide behind, it has become easier to insult and embarrass people online. That doesn’t mean that the mean comments hurt any less.

According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, approximately 21% of students have reported feeling victimized by digital abuse. While it seems like a small number now, the increasing use of Twitter and Facebook among teenagers may possibly cause it to grow.

In Ephesians, Paul writes, “No rotten talk should come from your mouth, but only what is good for the building up of someone in need, in order to give grace to those who hear.”-Ephesians 4:29

Talk to your girls about this verse, and the dangers of cyberbullying, and how it hurts the victims of it. Ask them if someone has ever said anything hurtful to them online, and how they dealt with the pain and sadness. Ask the girls in your group what they think of by “rotten talk” and how that applies to talking to one another online. Encourage your girls to be supportive and encouraging to their friends online, so no one else feels like an outcast because of the Internet.

Talk to the girls in your small group about the need for online safety, as well. Help them learn how to protect themselves while online, from anyone who could hurt them. Having these conversations with your girls will help them understand that the Internet is a big place, and almost anyone can see what they post.