Although my girls probably have a hard time imagining me as a teenage girl, it happened. I can remember being full of energy, telling funny stories...or scary stories. Teen girls are a blast. Who else do you know that will do something such as licking all the double stuff creme out of the oreos, and then share them with her friends as if it is a new package!? (And the friends actually eat them!)
There are a few things I've discovered from being a teen girl, ministering to teen girls, and now to having my own teen girls. Many things change in girl world, but there are a few things that are the same now as they were "way back then!" And knowing these things can make your ministry to them a lot more effective.
1. Girls need to know they are a priority to you. When you set aside time for small group, Bible study, or an event, plan and be ready for them. Try to avoid cancelling anything - no matter how small. They need to see and hear that they are worth the effort.
2. Girls need to be encouraged. We know they have insecurities and doubts about who they are and what has planned for their future. We know they can be self-absorbed. So, take time to listen to your girls. Find out what they are struggling with and what they see as a strength. Discover the pressures and stresses they feel as they try to balance school, church, homelife, and growing up. When you know a girl is having difficulties with a friendship or her social life, send her a Facebook message or a text (or even an old fashioned handwritten note!) Let the girls vent to you and then share biblical wisdom and encouragement.
3. Girls need to know they can change. The one girl who seems flighty and shallow in middle school may become one of your deeper thinkers in high school. By leading a small group you provide a way for a teen girl to discover God's truths and herself. You also may be providing a place where a girl can change. She may need to change the places she hangs out and the people she hangs out with. Small groups, church, someone's home or a local coffee or ice cream shop can be a place where she feels accepted and loved. A place where she belongs and is free to change.
When it comes down to it, there are a lot of things about teen girls that have stayed the same through the decades. Then and now girls need to know that Jesus loves them. Then and now girls need to know there are people in their lives that consider them priority and put them first. Then and now girls need encouragement. And then and now, girls need to know that they change and God can transform their lives.
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