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“One of the girls in my small group finally Facebooked me first, and she asked for my advice!” 

Audrey is a college student who serves as a small group leader for eleventh grade girls at our church. For the past nine months, Audrey and I have been praying for the girls in this small group and for Audrey to be able to build relationships with them, and her statement reflects a breakthrough moment recently experienced with her slow-to-warm group. 

Building Relationships
Discipleship, especially with girls, requires intentionality, and making disciples necessitates spending time with people outside of the one or two hours a week that you see them at church. Audrey has begun to meet with these girls one-on-one outside of small group in order to get to know them, to find out about their families and where they stand with Jesus, to pray with them, and to talk to them about their quiet times and if they even know how to study Scripture.

What Audrey is doing isn’t radical or new. She’s following the example of Christ who spent three years living life with the twelve disciples. Their ability to spread the gospel and lead in the early church stems from the time Jesus invested in them as He served, taught, healed, and interacted with all types of people.

Being with Jesus
Equipping the Twelve was a time-intensive task, and with the block-headed disciples, it required great patience on Jesus’ part. Yet He continued to love them and to teach them. And while it was obvious that the disciples didn’t have seminary degrees or even college educations, people later recognized that their power stemmed from having been with Jesus (Acts 4:13).

Knowing Jesus intimately – this is what makes the difference as we make disciples (Jn. 15:4-5). It is knowing Christ that compels Audrey to give up time studying and hanging out with friends in order to invest in a group of eleventh grade girls. It is knowing Christ that gives her the wisdom and the discernment to know how to teach and what to say to these girls, and it is her knowing Christ that will have an impact on them.

“Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.” –Acts 4:13

The newest installment of the Twilight saga released at midnight. And while I didn't rush to the theater in the middle of the night to watch Breaking Dawn, Part 1, I have now seen it (at the matinee price, thank you). Listed below you'll find a short synopsis, some themes that run throughout the film, and some discussion questions that you might be able to use to engage girls around this teen-girl cult hit.

Synopsis:
This series begins with the much-anticipated wedding of two of the three main characters, Edward and Bella. And of course, within the first ten seconds of the film, you see Jacob (Taylor Lautner) without his shirt. All goes well with the wedding, despite a little family drama from Edward's (Robert Patinson) side of the family and a confrontation between Jacob and Edward.

The honeymoon takes place on a remote island outside of Rio de Jinero. (Doesn't everyone get their own private island whenever they want it?) Despite fears that the consummation of the marriage could kill Bella, all goes relatively well for two weeks. That's when the plot thickens, as they say. Bella is pregnant. And the baby is not "human". It is this fact that is the focus of the remaining time on the screen. Will Bella carry the baby to "term" (Edward wants to kill "it")? Will she survive the pregnancy? Will Jacob kill the "baby" once it's born? What will the pack of werewolves do with the news of this new member of the vampire family?

The other major plot development that occurs in this movie is the concept of "imprinting" among werewolves. It is the werewolf version of love at first sight. Once a warewolf imprints, that werewolf lives, breaths, and would even die for the one imprinted on his (or her) soul. 

Themes:
Undying love: Of course, the Twilight Saga is about the power of pure, undying love. Edward and Bella love each other. Jacob loves Bella. What is each of them willing (or not willing) to do for the one they love?

Family: Several times in this movie, the characters must determine their family. Bella leaves behind Charlie Swan, her father and police chief, to begin a new life with Edward--even though it means she will never see any of her family or friends again. Jacob must wrestle with his own family (pack) of werewolves and must weigh his commitment to them against his love for Bella. And the Cullen "family" of vampires must choose to defend its newest member, Bella.

Abortion: Yes, abortion. While it is veiled in the dialogue of "not human" versus "human" and "it" and "this can't happen", the main theme of this movie is about what a woman will be willing to do protect the life (whatever kind it is) living inside of her. Edward wants "it" dead. Jacob wants "it" dead. Other family members call it a fetus. Only Rosalie, who once was cold and opposed to Bella and Edward's relationship, calls the infant a "baby."  If you take away the vampires and werewolves, this is a 21st century case study in the debate over the sanctity of human life.

Discussion Questions
Listed below are some questions that might open up discussion with your girls. And hopefully, these questions will make girls think a little bit, too.

Why do you think so many females across so many age groups are so drawn to this movie and this series of movies (and books)?

In the book series, Bella has chosen to become a vampire in order to live forever with Edward. What would you do for the people you love? Is there a limit of what one person should do for the one they love? How would you know if what you feel is love or if it is just hormonal infatuation?

Edward tells Jacob that he (Jacob) shares a bond with Bella that he (Edward) doesn't understand. Why do you think they have such a "connection" even though Bella has chosen Edward?

Would you have left your family behind at 18 to create a new life without them? 

Jacob betrayed his former pack in order to protect people (vampires) he hates because of his love for Bella. Do you think he made a wise decision? What would you have done?

Bella adamantly refuses to end the pregnancy even though she is only 18, even though she has no idea if this pregancy will end in her death, and even though she has no idea what kind of "child" she is carrying. What would you do if you found out you were pregnant at 18? If you found out the pregnancy might possible end in your death? In the death of the child?

Edward fumes with anger because Bella's choice to keep the child means her death and his misery without her. He says that "you gave me no choice" in the decision to keep the baby. Do you think he's feelings are justified? Should he have had an opportunity to choose with Bella?

At the end of the movie, Jacob imprints on Renesme, the infant child of Bella. He is instantly in love. Beyond love. Willing to die. Willing to do anything for her. Protect. Provide. Kill. Forsake everything else, including his own needs, wants and desires. Do you think that a human being's love for someone else is anything like "imprinting"? Why or why not?

How have you talked with girls about the latest Twilight movie? List your comments below.

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I saw the movie “Courageous” recently, and it was full of men making decisions with integrity regarding their relationships with others.  This caused me to think about my own actions and the actions of those around me. How do we maintain integrity in our ministry relationships with church staff members, teenage girls, parents, and youth leaders?  

Many churches are hiring young women to serve on their student ministry staff in the area of girl’s ministry.  This often puts them on a team with a male student minister or working with volunteers who happen to be males. Here are some tips that will help you guard your integrity with male staff or volunteers.

1.     Don’t put yourself in a position to be alone with males, especially if one of you is married to someone else. We have a rule in our student ministry that males and females don’t ride in a car alone together. Don’t even sit and have a meal alone together.  In ministry you are only one accusation away from ruin.  It doesn’t have to be the truth, a mere accusation can ruin your ministry.

2.     Guard your heart!  Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.”   If you find that person coming up in your thoughts, conversation, and feelings often, back up and check yourself!  Don’t allow your heart to grow fond of that person. Don’t talk extensively about personal problems and marital issues with that person. Heart fondness can grow into physical intimacy.

3.     Be careful with emails and text messages.  Adding cute and caring messages at the end of an email can cause your thoughts to deteriorate quickly.  Choose your words carefully and keep your messages to one another professional.  Words can be misunderstood very easily when they are written.

4.     Maintain accountability.  Be open with others about your standards on keeping your integrity.  Have a friend who will hold you accountable or a small group that will hold you accountable.  Ask them to let you know if they see you slipping into an unwise relationship.

5.     Be verbal about your intentions of integrity. A young youth minister I know is verbally open about his intentions of integrity. On one occasion he was sitting in a chair with his arm on the back of the chair next to him.  A teenage girl sat down and cuddled up under his arm.  He immediately jumped up and said. “Whoa! You need to ask Ashley if you can cuddle under my arm, because that arm belongs to her!”  Everyone laughed but they also know where he stands. He is well-respected and young women will not even try to cross the line with him.

Maintaining integrity in relationships will protect your ministry, your family, your heart, and most of all will not muddy the Kingdom of God.  Stand strong!

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.  Ephesians 5:3

How do you maintain integrity in your relationships?

In 2006, Ocielia founded an empowerment organization dedicated to instilling the message of true beauty to young women of color. In 2009, Ocielia became the youngest woman to receive EBONY Magazine's Unsung Hero Award for her work with young African-American women.

Ocielia is pursuing her Master of Divinity with a concentration in Women's Ministry, and aspires to become an international speaker, author, and advocate for discounted girls and women. You can find more information about her and her ministry here.

Worship Leader: Jaime Jamgochian

Jaime's ability to help others draw closer to God--whether in a Sunday morning worship service or driving alone to work on a Monday--has made her one of Christian music’s most acclaimed new artists. Her music and effervescent personality have touched thousands of young women as she’s appeared at numerous girls' conferences and mission trips.

Sitting across the table with hear eating lunch or watching her from the audience as she's on stage, you'll find the same person--a woman who loves Jesus and loves girls and loves to connect the two to each other. You can check out her ministry at jaimejam.com.