A friend of mine showed me this as a mom to a mom. I wanted to share it with you leader to leader. It encouraged me about the future generation. God is still working.

Who is He?
A story by Schuyler

As I flipped through the pages of the bible, being 6 I didn’t understand a whole lot. But I could tell a capital letter from a lowercase one. I noticed that on all of the filled pages, ‘He’ was capitalized. It wasn’t even at the front of the sentence! I didn’t understand why they made so many mistakes! So I got up and showed it to my mom who was an editor. I asked her why ‘He’ was capitalized, and if God is watching over us, why would ‘He’ let them make so many mishaps in ‘His’ book.

And then she told me,” He is God. He does watch over us every second of every day. He lives in your heart. He created us, and the world for that matter, in the palm of His hand. He is our King, our best friend, our father, whatever we need Him to be. And some glorious day, trumpets will play to His arrival to fight the enemy. When He wins, all of those who love Him shall live with Him forever. He, is everything. It is the least we can do, but to capitalize His name.” she said. And with that, I felt I understood everything. I had no more questions. That one answer was every answer.

Amen.
 

Last week, CBS News released an article that highlighted the increase of violence between girls. This is not a new or novel problem. Since Hannah and Peninnah in the Old Testament, women have dealt with mean girls and social aggression. The difference with today's girls is the physical violence that has spiked. It's no longer just a battle of words—it's a battle of fists.

 What has caused the increase in physical aggression? Everything from hormones to violence in the media to parental absence has been blamed. While I want to understand why, the more important question is, how do we handle this issue among girls?

1. Provide opportunities for physical activity. Girls have erratic hormones and strong emotions. Put them together and you're sitting on a powder keg ready to explode. The problem is that there are few socially accepted conduits for those emotions. Not every girl is on a basketball or soccer team. To help those who aren't, provide opportunities for them to get some energy out. Organize a powder puff football game. Put up a basketball goal in front of your house and get a ball game going before Bible study. Utilize the summer months to play lots of ice breaker games outside. Keep the competition fun. Every little bit helps.

2. Teach girls how to express emotions in a healthy way. In puberty, girls' emotions are radically changing from day to day or even hour by hour. It's a scary thing. Girls need to know that there will be some days that they want to cry for no reason (and yes, it's OK just to cry). They need to learn through example or thorugh a Bible study how to deal with anger, depression, disappointment, and fear. Why not host a Bible study that tackles emotions? And why not invite parents to a separate Bible study on helping teens manage those emotions? Many parents are just as wigged out as the girls!

3. When you see examples of girl-on-girl violence, talk about it. What led up to the confrontation? Why did these girls see physical violence as the only solution? What consequences do these girls face for dealing with their emotions in such an unproductive manner? Peer (and adult) culture often glorifies violence between girls. Show girls the downside.

4. Teach girls conflict resolution skills. There are a ton of online suggestions for conflict management. Find some that will resonate with the girls you lead. Give them some tools for working through a situation that seems impossible. Girls who feel like they are backed into a corner with no way out are much more likely to turn violent toward others (or herself).

Sometimes I wish I didn’t think so much.

I wish I wasn’t so analytical, so skeptical. I often find myself questioning others’ motives, statements, assertions, and values. It’s a consequence of living in a culture where “truth” changes as quickly as the weather, where little seems dependable or trustworthy. My analytical skills protected me as a child and serve me well as an adult.

But sometimes, they hurt my relationship with God.

Instead of looking at things through the eyes of a loving God who wants the best for me, I tend to see through a glass darkly colored by the evil around me. And that has major consequences for my relationship with God.

I wish I were more like David when he penned Psalm 34. In it, he writes, “I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears…This poor man cried, and the Lord heard and saved him from all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and rescues them” (v. 4,6-7).

Seems pretty straightforward, doesn’t it? But’s the simple superscription at the beginning of this chapter that throws my brain into its analytical tailspin. It says, “concerning David, when he pretended to be insane in the presence of Abimelech…”

Did you catch that? David saw God’s deliverance in his (David’s) acting insane. The Bible tells us that David, “acted like a madman around them, scribbling on the doors of the gate and letting saliva run down his beard.”

Gross, but effective. And after David wiped the drool off of his chin, he wrote a psalm declaring God’s love, faithfulness, and deliverance. To him, the inspiration to act like a patient at an asylum was just as much God’s providence as parting the Red Sea. God delivered. The means by which deliverance came didn’t matter.

And that’s where my analytical, skeptical, orderly brain gets me in trouble.

I know I need God’s deliverance. Only I want it in ways that make sense to me. But when I read Scripture, God’s deliverance and presence show up in the craziest of ways, if you’ll pardon the pun. Most of the time, God shows up in ways that just don’t "make sense."

It didn’t make sense that the man who led the Israelites out of Egypt would be a bumbling, stuttering man with anger issues.

It boggles the imagination that the people of Israel would go to battle against Jericho with some torches and clay pots and march around the walls of the city looking like a bunch of fools.

It goes against logic that a shepherd would become Israel’s king. And that this mighty king would be known as a man after God’s own heart, even though that heart was guilty of lust, adultery, and murder.

There’s no common since in Naaman being healed of a skin disease by taking a bath in nasty, dirty river water.

It was beyond description to bring deliverance through a baby born to pregnant peasant teenager who’d never had sex. To give the message of that birth through a bunch of unclean, dirty shepherds who were more used to talking to sheep than talking to people.

It didn’t make sense that Jesus would go through Samaria instead of around it. That he would talk to a woman at a well, a woman whom everyone else had discarded, ignored, and marginalized until she was more than happy to go it alone.  

And it challenges every logical thought that God would deliver humanity by allowing His only Son, the heart of His heart, to be tortured beyond recognition and to be murdered on the most horrific device known at the time.

It doesn’t make sense that He loves me. My analytical mind doesn’t get it. I don’t understand it.

But it’s not about my intellect. I think (?) that God often works in unpredictable ways so that I can’t put him in a box or believe the lie that I’ve somehow figured Him out.   

And I am learning that no matter how He chooses to work or to show Himself, and no matter what the outcome looks like at the time, I can trust that His actions are always a reflection of His heart toward me. A good heart. A perfectly faithful heart (Isa. 25:1).  

And that’s enough for me. At least it is today.
 

We thought you might find it helpful to know a little more about what’s going on in the world of your students. Here are some of the most popular movies and songs this week (with a few comments from Emily thrown in). In the future, we hope to highlight fashion, technology, and other current topics. Let us know what you struggle most with in relating to your girls, and we’ll try to address it here.

Top movies this past weekend:

1.    Avatar, $34.9 mil (“Fern Gully” 2010: same agenda, better visuals)
2.    Legion, $17.5 mil
3.    The Book of Eli, $15.7 mil (while very graphically violent, an EXCELLENT film! Denzel Washington is charged to carry the Word of God west after “The Flash”[the Rapture]. His faith . . . a-ma-zing.)
4.    Tooth Fairy, $14 mil
5.    The Lovely Bones, $8.4 mil
6.    Sherlock Holmes, $6.6 mil (Dark, but good.)
7.    Extraordinary Measures, $6 mil
8.    Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, $6.4 mil
9.    It's Complicated, $5.8 mil
10.    The Spy Next Door, $4.6 mil

Top 10 Radio Airplay:

1.    Ke$ha - Tik Tok (Have you listened to the lyrics? Ugh.)
2.    Lady Gaga - Bad Romance (As if the title didn't give it away, this is NOT a picture of a healthy relationship.)
3.    Iyaz - Replay
4.    David Guetta - Sexy Chick
5.    Jay-Z w/ Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind (I’m not going to lie. I love this song—the edited version, at least.)
6.    Jay Sean - Do You Remember
7.    Jason DeRulo - Whatcha Say
8.    Owl City – Fireflies (Clean. Good enough to be played at our youth activities on Wednesday night.)
9.    Boys Like Girls and Taylor Swift - Two Is Better Than One
10.    Orianthi - According To You (An interesting look at a girl viewing herself from two different guys’ perspectives.)

Top 10 Downloaded Songs this week:

   1. Justin Timberlake & Matt Morris – Hallelujah (Popularity is due to their performance of this Leonard Cohen classic at the Hope for Haiti Now telethon last Friday night.)
   2. Taylor Swift - Today Was a Fairytale
   3. Ke$ha - TiK ToK
   4. Tlack Eyed Peas - Imma Be
   5. Timbaland - Carry Out
   6. Train - Hey, Soul Sister
   7. Young Money & Lloyd - BedRock
   8. Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
   9. Justin Bieber - Baby
  10. Ke$ha - Blah Blah Blah

Earlier, I gave you a sneak peek into one of our newest resources, True Princess: Being a Servant in an All-About-Me-World. The full manuscript is now in my inbox, and we're beginning production on it. I am so excited about the potential of this Bible study to change the mindset and attitudes of teen girls. Here's another sneak peek at what the girls will see:

The pop princesses of our culture have a reputation for being rebellious. It’s no surprise when their scandals hit the headlines and their bad behavior is photographed for the entire world to see. These “princesses” don’t seem to worry much about honoring their family name or protecting the reputation of their fathers.

We may call these girls princesses, but deep down we know this isn’t how a princess is supposed to act. These aren’t the kind of young women we admire. Their lives aren’t the stuff of fairy tales.  

A true princess doesn’t do whatever it takes to draw attention to herself. She is special because she is the daughter of someone special. Everything she does points back toward her father, the king. If a princess acts recklessly or ignores the needs or customs of her people, it isn’t just her reputation that suffers. The honor and image of the throne is at stake.

Honoring the family name may seem like an ancient concept to our modern brains. But it is a key responsibility of a daughter of the King and it’s a theme that is repeated often in Scripture.

Here's another segment. Now can you see why I'm so excited about this Bible study?

As daughters of the king, our lives are not our own. Scripture puts it this way:

Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? –1 Corinthians 6: 19-20a, The Message

Asking God to adopt you into His family means allowing Him to be in charge. He now sits on the throne of your heart and your choices should be determined by His will. This is definitely easier said than done, but it is critical for you to realize that your life is under the authority of the King. You are called to live a life in submission to Christ.

You are probably already living out this principle in some areas of your life....

Just a glance at the latest fashion or celebrity magazine, and you can see why a Bible study like this is so desperately necessary to counteract the mindset of our culture. I can't wait for this to hit the shelves!

Confession time. Speaking the truth in love is not my gift. I often find myself leaning to one side or another. Either I speak the “love” and avoid hurting someone’s feelings or I speak the truth with a tone that comes out harsh and more like a condemnation. If speaking the truth in love is a challenge for me, at my age (and I’m not saying what that age is), how much more difficult is it for teen girls?

In John 14:6 Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” High school, in particular, is a tough time when many girls make choices and decisions that conflict with Truth. Face it…even the most dedicated Christian girls sometimes make choices and decisions in the moment and don’t think about how those choices conflict with God’s commands. And although many friendships change or divide during the middle school years, even more boundaries are set between girls in high school.

Speaking the truth in love is often when the lines are drawn and friendships fizzle. So, how do we teach the girls in our church and ministries to speak the truth in love? Are there principles to follow? Are there guidelines to speaking truth?

1. Respect-Maybe not your typical example, but Job comes to mind when I think about a person who respected God and respected others. No matter what his circumstances or what others were saying around him or to him, Job demonstrated respect. He honored and respected God and did not let words fly in the moment when it looked to others that God had abandoned him. He honored and respected his friends by letting them speak their minds, but not falling in line with their opinions.
2. Gentleness and Kindness-Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” Regardless of how angry or frustrated we may become when we see a friend making a foolish decision away from obedience to God, our tone of voice and the words we use can convey love. Helping girls learn to control their tone of voice is a key to communicating effectively in many situations. Giving a gentle rebuke to someone we love can have more power than a string of words expressing frustration.
3. Seeking God-Speaking the truth in love is a task that requires wisdom. When you are 14 or 16 or even 36 or 46, it is difficult to speak the truth in love. How do we know the correct words to use? What is the right time to say those words of correction, rebuke, or confrontation? James 1:5 reminds us, “Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him.”

Friendships and relationships can be hard. They can be especially hard when situations arise that require speaking truth into the lives of others. The truth is not always easy to hear. The truth is not always easy to receive once it is spoken. We all want others to see the best in us. We want to hear words of affirmation and encouragement, and sometimes that is not what we are going to hear from those who know us best, our true friends.

Proverbs 27: 6 says, “The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.” How can we help girls to understand that although the truth may sometimes hurt, it is best? How can we help them to value those who speak the truth in love? And how do we teach girls to speak the truth in love with balance - avoiding the harsh tones and the soft words that cushion the truth too much?

We were supposed to get between 2 and 4 inches of snow last night and this morning. Nashville residents responded the only way they know how and raided local grocery stores. Bread, milk, and eggs have all disappeared within a 30-mile radius. (I mean, how long did they think we’d be snowed in, without access to food, from just a couple of inches on the ground?! And how bored will your palate get if all you have to eat are milk, bread, and eggs anyway? If you have electricity, I guess you could make French toast, regular toast, scrambled eggs, eggs in a basket, bread pudding, and an interesting breakfast option my dad likes to serve when we’re sick called “milk toast.” My mom maintains that it’s disgusting. I prefer to stay neutral in this debate. But I digress. Any way you look at it, there aren’t a lot of options if those are your only ingredients. Yummy soup sounds better, right?)

So when I looked out my window this morning and saw that there was no white stuff on the ground and that traffic was moving normally, I was disappointed but not surprised. Weather forecasters aren’t exactly known for their snow prediction accuracy around here. But ever since a big snowstorm hit Nashville a few years ago (and mostly without warning, from what I understand), local residents have become a little jumpy when it comes to winter weather.

I guess I’d be the same way. Once bitten, twice shy. I understand that and am that way in other areas of my life. I’m a little jumpy when it comes to my car because I’ve had one die on me before. I’m also a little jumpy about sharing things because I have friends who’ve ruined belongings of mine because they don’t take care of things like I do. My point is, people behave strangely. But they usually have reasons for it. Rather than judging, I should seek to understand the motive for their behavior. As I try to forgive my fellow Nashvegans for swiping all the “necessities” from the grocery stores, I also need to let the lesson sink in elsewhere.

For instance, don’t judge a girl in your small group who refuses to speak up, even when you ask her a question directly. Maybe she’s been told at home that she’s stupid and what she says is laughable. Don't look down on the girl who is always talking. Maybe she’s eagerly looking for approval. That girl who desperately tries to not get any paint on her clothes while your youth group paints an elderly woman’s home? While you may be thinking she doesn’t want to work, in reality, she’s been chewed out by her dad for “ruining” her clothes before.

Look for the background story. Trying to understand why people act the way they do may bring you closer than you imagined. All of our girls have back stories that explain why they act the way they do. How many of your girls’ back stories do you know?

Every so often, I like to introduce you to people who are influencers in the lives of preteen and teen girls. One such person is Tamika Catchings. While you may know her as a professional basketball player for the WNBA, that is only one small facet of her influence. I asked her to share some words of encouragement with you as girls' leaders. You can also hear a bit of her story by listening to a speech she did at Charlston Southern University back in December. By the way, her photo is Courtesy of Pacers Sports & Entertainment:

My name is Tamika Catchings, and I am a guard for the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) Indiana Fever team. I also have my own foundation in Indianapolis, Indiana, called the Catch the Stars Foundation, Inc.

The challenges that I faced as a child and teen are what brought me to sports. See, you could make fun of the way I talked, the way I sounded, the hearing aids in my ears, the glasses on my face, or anything else, but you couldn’t beat me in any sport.

I want to challenge each of you as adult leaders to help the girls you work with (including your daughters) to find that one thing that puts them in their “zone.” Mine was sports, theirs could be reading, cooking, riding your bike… whatever it may be. Find a way to help our girls discover something that they absolutely love to do, and help them do it! Help them discover what that one thing is, to develop it, embrace it, and celebrate it.

It’s not going to be easy. A saying I read once said, “People will always talk about you—whether you’re doing good or bad. But, only one person stops us from where we go. We do Look at Jesus. They talked bad about Him for all of the good things He was doing in the world—healing people, feeding people, mentoring people…’" Ask your girls a question: Who is in control of your future? Who helps you make decisions in your life? Will it be the people around you? Or will you and God decide?

What keeps some girls from being all God wants? It’s fear. Fear of disappointing themselves, their parents, or those around them. Fear of not being successful. Or it could just be old-fashioned laziness.

As adult leaders, I encourage you to tell your young ladies, “Don’t be that person! Allow God to take control of your life. Let Him use your giftedness and uniqueness.” The way I live my life both on and off the court is an example of what that surrender can do.

I typically don't make New Year's resolutions, mostly because I always break them and I don't like failure. But I've been thinking about what resolutions girls' leaders could make this year. Here are a few I came up with. Enjoy! 

1. I resolve that I will be patient with girls when they start talking about their best friend's cousin's dog during Bible study.

2. I resolve that I will never plan another lock-in.

3. I resolve that I will not answer my own questions in Bible study. I will remember that
silence is sometimes good.

4. I resolve that I will remember that I am not 16 years old and therefore will suffer consequences for playing laser tag, going rock climbing, or playing powder puff football.

5. I resolve that I will remember that teenagers are fun to be around when they're not doing something stupid.

6. I resolve that I will forgive myself for saying the wrong thing, forgetting supplies, and missing a cheerleading competition.

7. I resolve that I will listen more and talk less.

8. I resolve that I will allow girls to see me without make-up on, in my pj's, or mess up dinner at least once this year.

9. I resolve that no matter how fun it looks, bungy jumping or falling from great heights in any form is a bad idea.

10. I resolve that I will remember that when it's all said and done, girls won't remember what I said in Bible study, but they will remember how I responded when they told me their darkest secret.