Unless you've been on a sequestered jury for the last couple of weeks, you know that the much-anticipated day has finally arrived: the release of New Moon, the second movie in the cult-statused Twilight book series. Girls have had this date circled on their calendars for weeks. They have surfed the Web for clues. Thay have bought magazines. They have watched every trailer imaginable.

You might be tempted to avoid any discussion about the movie because, like thousands of others, you're already tired of hearing about it. However, you might want to take another approach: use the movie release and book's content to begin a discussion about deeper issues. Listed below are five simple questions you can use to begin a dialogue with a girl about New Moon. In parenthesis are some possible directions the conversation could take.

1.       Are you Club Jacob or Club Edward? Why? (Jacob is the werewolf, Edward the vampire. Girls are divided over which they would choose. Jacob is the friend and confidant for Bella after Edward leaves. This is an easy discussion-starter that will allow you to approach other subjects within the book/movie.)

 

2.       Do you think you would respond like Bella did when Edward left? In what ways? What things do you think you wouldn’t do? (When Edward leaves early in New Moon, Bella responds with increasingly-dangerous behavior. In short, she acts as if life is not worth living. Her behavior is extremely disturbing and unhealthy. “I’d rather die than be with anyone but you.”)

 

3.       What would you want to do if you lived forever like Edward and the other vampires? (Edward is an accomplished pianist among other things. This might be an opportunity to discuss the fact that we are NOT given eternity, that everyone must face their own mortality.)

 

4.       Why do you think Bella doesn’t want to marry Edward? (This may be a good place to begin a discussion about the understanding of marriage and commitment.)

 

5.       In the book, Bella’s father Charlie seems kind of clueless sometimes, but what do you see as some of his positive qualities? Do you think Charlie could have done something differently as her father? (This could open the door for a discussion about a father’s role in family life.)

 

 

Sometimes I really love my job.I love meeting new people. I love giving women (and men) a vision for reaching teen girls. I love being creative and thinking outside the box and dreaming and looking toward what could be. I love being around people who are passionate about reaching teen girls.

Yesterday was one of those days. I got to meet with a team of very talented people and dream about a new Bible study for teen girls. A Bible study that attacks a prevaling mantra that says, "I deserve." A Bible study that helps girls understand that yes, they are princesses endowed with great worth because they are God's beloved, but they are not on the throne. A Bible study that challenges girls to embrace humility instead of pride, servanthood instead of selfishness, meekness instead of aggression. A Bible study that is flexible enough to experience on a variety of levels and settings, from an overnight sleepover to an ongoing discipleship group.

The name of this new Bible study? Tossing Your Tiara: Embracing Humility in an All-About-Me World.

I can't wait to see where God takes this study. I can't wait for girls to begin to grasp their roles as light bearers and ambassadors to the world around them. I can't wait to watch as God begins open their eyes to the sneaky deceptiveness of the enemy who wants them to be less than God created them to be and to accomplish. I can't wait for girls to understand what it really means to be a daughter of God.

As the study unfolds, I'll keep you posted on the progress!

What do you look for in a Bible study? What elements, themes, or topics are important to you?

 

If you haven't heard anything about our first Girls' Ministry Forum, here's the scoop:

Converge: Powering Girls' Ministry
February 26-27, 2010
Nashville, Tennessee

Those are the basics, but here are some more of the great details.

Carol Sallee will be our keynote speaker. She is the founder of To Know Christ Ministries. Through this ministry, Carol speaks across the United States and writes for a numerous Christian publications, including writing the girls' ministry Bible study, Confident. Ily published a bible study for youth girls called Confident. This six week study, available through LifeWay, Confident, which is designed to help teenage girls find their confidence in Christ. Carol is married to Phil, a pastor, and is also mom to three grown children. A satisfying evening to Carol consists of chocolate, a good movie, and Mexican food. Carol admits she is addicted to Sketchers tennis shoes, reality television, and Twitter. Visit www.carolsallee.com to learn more.

Shelly E. Johnson will lead worship. Born and raised in Marietta, Georgia, Shellyis a Nashville-based Christian Artist, Worship Leader and Songwriter with a deep devotion to her Creator and a desire to share Him with others. In 2008, Shelly attended the Gospel Music Association’s Music in the Rockies Seminar, where her song “That’s the Power of the Cross” was awarded the 2008 Song of the Year and her song “Draw Near” was awarded Scripture Song of the Year.  In June 2009, Shelly released her second album entitled Mosaic of Grace.  In August 2009, Shelly was awarded the National Winner in the Gospel Music Association's Immerse National Artist Competition and continues to experience growing momentum as God opens new doors for ministry.  Visit www.shellyejohnson.com to learn more.

In addition to corporate times of worship and Bible study, this conference will provide breakout sessions for enrichment, training, and networking for women. Some of the topics covered include:

• The Great Juggling Act: Balancing Family, Career, and Ministry
• Discipleship 101: How to Disciple Girls
• God is Great, God is Good: Teaching Girls How to Pray
• Lost in Translation: Communcating with Guys
• Help Me! Teen Girls in Crisis

The best part of the conference, though, isn't what it offers women (although I think that's pretty significant). It's what it offers for teen girls. We are offering a leadership track for teen girls, grades 9-12. This track is geared at developing and equipping the next generation for life and ministry to their peers. Some of the topics for the girls include:

• Big Sister, Little Sister—Mentoring Younger Students
• Taming the Media Monster—How to Evaluate the Impact of Media
• Gift to Go—Discovering Your Spiritual Gifts and How to Use Them
• No Worries—The Basics of Leading a Bible Study
• BFFs Forever—How to Develop Healthy Friendships

For an up-to-date listing of all of the breakouts, to get information about the event, or to register, you can go to our Web site: Girls' Forum.

The more I think and plan and pray about this event, the more excited I become. Not because it's something my ministry is offering. Not because it's my job. And certainly not because I'll be leading a breakout. I get excited because of the potential I see to equip women and teen girls to impact their world. A gathering for training, encouragement, networking, worship, and Bible study. Count me in!

Yeah, right. Like anybody can really understand teen girls. They're an enigma wrapped in a riddle topped off with a side of confusing and baffling.

 But next week, we'll (meaning you and I if you decide to hang out) try to peek inside their brains and hearts for an hour. I'll be hosting a Webinar next Tuesday, August 25th from 12:00 p.m. to 1 p.m., Nashville time (that CST). It's free. Just log on a few minutes before it starts.

In preparation for this, we polled hundreds of girls who attended our You and Your Girl events this year. (I know, it's not a true random sampling, but I think the answers are pretty representative of a lot of the girls in our churches.)

To whet your appetite, here are some of the questions we asked and the answers they gave:

 

What's one thing you wish you could tell your parents?

"How I feel about my dead father." (that'll break your heart!)

"Grayson is a hog of everything." (I'm assuming that's a little brother.)

"Sometimes she [mom] acts a little crappy." (I love the honesty of teenagers.)

"That even though they were once teens, it's not the same as it was." (just go online!)

 

What's one thing you feel pressured to do or to be?

"My parents pressure me to be a dork, everyone else pressures me to be popular." (great insight!)

"To get a volleyball scholarship. My dad did this." (how many other parents are reliving their childhood years through their teenagers?)

"Jealousy...my friend always cmes to school with expensive clothes brands."

"Perfect." (This was said several times in several different ways.)

 

What scares you?

"Disappearing, not mattering, blending in, being forgotten." (wow.)

"That I'll get fat." (This was not an isolated answer, by the way.)

"Jellyfish." (If you have ever seen the movie Seven Pounds, you'd be scared of them too!)

"The dark or thinking someone could break into our house." (safety is a major issue for this generation.)

 

Intrigued? I've saved the most popular answers for the Web cast, so you'll have to wait 'til Tuesday to hear the rest. If you can't make it, don't worry. A few days after the event, we'll have the whole Webcast online. Feel free to pass along this information to the parents in your church. They might be a bit surprised (and you might be, too). 

I hadn't planned on blogging today. I've had a busy week, and frankly, I am tired. (And I have Barry Manilow songs running through my head, which doesn't make for a lot of creativity!)

But then I read that Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme was released from prison today.

You might need to read the story to recall exactly who she is. I would imagine that most girls and young women don't even recognize the name. I didn't until Jimmie Davis, who wrote The Girls' Ministry Handbook, mentioned her in the first chapter of that book. Since then, I've been fascinated by Squeaky's story. The details are a little dated, but the theme of her life is just as contemporary as it was a generation ago. Jimmie wrote this about her:

"After Squeaky attempted an assassination on President Gerald Ford's life, she was asked in an interview why she committed her life to Charles Manson. Her answer was plain and simple: 'I decided when I was 14 years old that whoever loved me first could have my life.'"

I read the story about her online and couldn't help thinking to myself, it doesn't seem like a whole lot has changed. She still seems to be searching for that thing that will give her life meaning and purpose. She still seems desperate for attention and love. The interviews she gives are evidence of that. She still seems lost. Spiritually yes, we all know that. But there's a lost-ness in her communication and in her actions that is so transparent that it's a little shocking in today's "gotta look like you've got everything together" culture.

I don't understand her—I don't understand any of the followers of Manson—but my heart breaks for her.

This story impacts me more deeply than others because there are so many women and young girls who are just like her. The only exception is that their desperation is quiet, unnoticed, and hidden. They suffer silently. But I am certain they are out there—in my own church, in my workplace (even though it's a Christian organization) and in my own family. They may not say it verbally, but their eyes say it: Whoever loves me first can have my life.

I guess that's why I'm so passionate about girls' ministry. I see so many girls who are giving their lives away to every false love that comes their way, and they pay the consequences for it. The results may be different than Squeaky's, but these girls are in their own prisons—shame, regret, fear, bitterness, rage, hopelessness, despair. Seeing Squeaky's story fuels in me the desire for them to know the Lover of their souls, to find their purpose, hope, and meaning in Him. 

Can their be any more higher calling that that?

 

 

So I’m doing Beth Moore’s Esther with a group of awesome twenty-somethings. I love the text, I love the girls, and I love the fact that we only meet every other week (to allow us enough time to do all that “homework”).
 

As I was working through a part of session three today, I was struck by the perfection of God’s timing. Despite working on the girls’ Bible study Esther: The Role of a Lifetime last year, I hadn’t really dug into every verse, as Beth is leading us to do. I’m at the (previously rather-unexciting-and-mundane) part where the royal secretaries have been summoned and the death sentence for the Jews is being delivered to everyone in the Persian empire.

But I’d never noticed before that the Jews’ first whiff of the doom awaiting them was inhaled on none other than Passover. While they were celebrating the deliverance from Egypt, they got word of their own desperate need for more rescuing. To be dealt such a blow while remembering the God who saved His people before—how would you handle it? I’m not sure how I would have responded then, but it put me in tears this morning.

In what Haman intended for absolute evil, God was already at work. And by allowing the message to be delivered on a day when His people’s minds were already focused on His faithfulness, I think He was telling them to remember that He’d done it before and could do it again. Talk about an opportunity for your faith to shine!

But how often do I let the enemy’s attacks weigh on me without even looking for where God is working? I don’t know about you, but I forget to remember His faithfulness. I wonder if the girls in our ministries today are even aware of where He's been faithful to them. I assume I’m on my own, and today’s little lesson from Esther reminded me that I am most certainly not. I feel challenged to make sure others (especially our precious girls) know that they're not on their own either.

Today, I’m basking in the fact that I worship this God who has been (and will be) so faithful. I hope you are too!

 

One of my favorite authors/speakers is Ruth Haley Barton. She has written several books, including Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership, which I'm reading now, along with about four other books (a bad habit, I know). She also writes monthly articles for leaders. The one I received a couple of days ago really struck me as powerful, so I wanted to pass it along to you. It is called "Available to God on Behalf of Others." www.thetransformingcenter.org/newsletters.php Here's an excerpt to whet your appetite:

  

"I prayed that you would be able to live faithfully in that great paradox of spiritual leadership: that your ministry is all about you (because you are the one God has called to be where you are in this moment) and it is not about you at all (because it is all about God's work in and through you and your ability to be given over to God in whatever moment you are in). I prayed that we would all know that this kind of availability to God on behalf of others is not something we can put on like a uniform..."

I don't know about you, but sometimes it's hard for me to live in that paradox....knowing that God wants to use me, but also being very aware that ministry to teen girls is soooo not about me. On one end of the spectrum is a grandiose idea of myself (thinking it's all about me). On the other end is a gross underestimation of what God wants to accomplish through me.

Being available to be used by God is a daily journey that requires my daily surrender. I'm just grateful I get to come along on the ride.

If you missed out on our first online training, "Welcome to the Hive: Understanding the Dynamics of Girls' Groups," don't mourn too much. We've made this available online for your viewing pleasure. Just click here: Webinar

I am so jazzed about the participation and the feedback I've gotten about online training opportunities. I'd love to hear your feedback for future training. What would you want some training on? Please give me your ideas!

Just wanted to get a quick word out to let you know about an online training opportunity we will be offering next Tuesday, March 31st at noon. I'll be conducting a Webinar called "Welcome to the Hive". It's all about girls' groups--the queen bee, the wanna-be and the other players within girl world. I'll also offer some practical do's and don'ts for surviving this jungle. It's a FREE class, so feel free to invite fellow girls' ministers, the male youth ministers you work with, volunteer workers, and even parents. To sign up for the class, just click here.

In this site, we want to give you an inside look into the world of girls' ministry. We want to offer behind-the-scenes picture of what we do here--Bible studies, events, training, and the like. We want to provide helpful information as it relates to girls and the issues they face. We want to encourage you as you live in girl world and navigate its perils and joys. And we want to learn from you.

My fellow "bloggers" on this site are amazing women who know and love teen girls. We think you'll enjoy the insights they bring from their unique place in life and in the churches where they serve. Let me introduce them:

Emily Cole
Emily is a word wrangler in Student Ministry Publishing. She's been in Nashville ever since she graduated from Mississippi State University in 2006. She enjoys laughing, studying the Bible, cooking, working out, politicking, hosting parties, and making to-do lists. She spends her Wednesday nights leading Bible study with a group of sophomore girls who keep her entertained while she learns all about what's going on in the lives of teen girls.

Mandy Crow
Mandy is the editor of ec, a magazine for teens that LifeWay produces. She is originally from southeast Missouri, but we try not to kid her about that too much. She has a journalism degree from Mizzou and is an avid fan of the St. Louis Cardinals and Marc Broussard. She's also a brand-new, first-time aunt. Let the spoiling begin!

Michelle Hicks
Michelle is a freelance writer and conference leader. She's also involved in Women's Training and Events at LifeWay. She currently has no hobbies because she spends her time multi-tasking her husband, Joe, and their three daughters ages 14, 12, and 8--enough said! Just come to her home and you become part of girls' ministry!

And then there's me.
I'm Pam Gibbs, the Girls' Ministry Specialist at LifeWay. In a nutshell, I try to make sure everything that relates to teen girls is headed in the right direction, from Bible studies to this blog. When I'm not hanging out with my husband or daughter, you can find me curled up with a good book. And I'm addicted to chocolate.

I look forward to meeting together on this blog and I am excited about how LifeWay can partner with you to help you reach teen girls.

Blessings!