Valentine's Day is almost 2 weeks away. Guys, you better start planning because your wife knows it's just around the corner. Take her on a getaway trip to the mountains or get something simple. Let me make it easy for you. Check out gifts.com for tips. I should get bonus points for helping you... ha!

Sometimes the greatest gift you can give a couple who is struggling in their marriage is to be light-hearted, positive, and hopeful. If a couple has come to you, something has probably compromised their hope unless they're that rare couple who is overzealous about having an awesome marriage. How many of those come in contact with you? 

Below are 4 ways you can help bring a discouraged couple from disappointment and uncertainty to hopeful and positive outlook.

1) Start by talking about something positive. What does this couple enjoy doing?

2) List out scripture that stresses that God is in control and has the ability to change your circumstances

3) Improve your humor... Don't become a comedian, but humor does relieve tension.

4) When appropriate, share personal victories so the couple your coaching sees your transparency.

Click here for a great article by Gary Chapman dealing with couples in a winter marriage. 

In marriage, couple's commitment to each other comes out of God's commitment to us. God loves, protects, cherishes and cares for us (forever) and that is a covenant that cannot be broken. Likewise, God has empowered husbands and wives to love protect, cherish and care for each other until death and that is a covenant that should not be broken.

Covenant is the "invisible" foundation that makes long term marriage possible. It is the answer to "oneness" and delights in fulfillment. The essence of covenant marriage: the death of 2 wills and the birth of one.

the Hebrew word for being united or joined together means "to cleave, cling, or stick." the corresponding Greek word means to be "glued" together.

So what do you want to communicate to a married couple or engaged couple?

1) A covenant marriage is Serious: Why? because the Hebrew word for covenant (berith) connotes a cutting of the flesh causing blood to flow out. That's pretty serious! In the Old Testament, covenants were so serious that God held those accountable those who broke it.

2) A covenant marriage is Sacred: In the bible a covenant was the most serious/sacred/solemn agreement that could be made between human beings. It is sacred to enter into a covenant marriage before God, family and friends.

3) A covenant marriage is Sacrificial: There is no such thing as covenant without sacrifice, and marriage is designed to be the most sacrificial of all relationships. Covenant represents total surrender.

One of the best things Christine and I did last year was take a 3 day trip to dream and plan for our marriage and family. It was our first time to do this and it definitely won't be our last.

All couples need to have a dream for their marriage. Without dreams, there is less reason to make the relationship work. I love the verse in Proverbs that says "where there is no vision, the people will perish". This is a great reminder of how important it is to keep dreaming and planning for your marriage and family. Hey gentlemen... as my good friend Steve Wilson says "this is a 2x4 to the head". Step up and take charge. Your family is ready and waiting.

Give attention to love, which can be seen in 3 areas listed below. Love flourishes when attention is given to each of these areas.

1) Passion: passion is a side of love that involves "sensual" and "physical" needs. Don't overlook this important aspect of your marriage.

2) Intimacy: intimacy involves "emotional" and "relational" aspect of one's being. You know you have strong intimacy if your spouse calls you their best friend or soul mate.

3) Commitment: commitment is at the heart of a healthy marriage. It breathes unconditional love and support no matter what.

Below are 5 common myths about the Christian marriage. Any of these stand out to you?

Myth #1 - If I have a daily quiet time and attend church reguarly, I will have a great marriage. The truth is that every couple goes through tough times.

Myth #2 - There is no way we will get a divorce if we are both Christians. The truth is being a Christian doesn't gaurantee that you won't feel like getting a divorce. Marriage is hard work and Christians must live out there beliefs and uphold the virtues of Christlikeness.

Myth #3 - We need to keep our marital problems to ourselves. The truth is that God created us to live in community so we can help one another.

Myth #4 - Christian couples don't fight. Don't let things that bother you build up where one day you explode on your spouse. Bring up quickly whatever bothers you. You'll be amazed at how your spouse may respond. Humble yourself enough to apologize and put things behind you as a couple.

Myth #5 - I need to pray that God will change my spouse. The truth is that God wants to change you first.

Now take a moment and read this short article on the 5 Biblical Purposes for Your Marriage by Rick Warren. Good story with Great principles.