Bad Mood

This week I took a phone call from a lady that is considering Festivals of Marriage at Ridgecrest this fall. I could tell immediately the concern she had for her husband and his work.

She said "my husband is under a lot of stress at work-facing deadlines and personality issues. He comes home all the time grouchy and it gets worse as the evening progresses. I want to be sympathetic, but at the same time I want to tell him to calm down. How can I gently do that?"

Wow! Talk about pressure. It's your move Mark and she is waiting... I kept thinking about the times I've gone home guilty of the same thing and now I'm giving counsel to this subject? Uh oh...

Here's the bottom line - all families face this kind of problem some time or another. The question we need to ask ourselves is this a short term or long term problem?

If this is a short term situation, let's consider the following: We all go through times at work and home that creates pressures and problems that will affect our spouse, family and friends. If this lady's husband is going through a short term situation (less than 6 months), he may just need understanding, time and a little space to get through it. The hardest part is being patient with your husband. Go slow giving any guilt. Nevertheless, be honest when he says something hurtful or when he is frustrating you. Try not to make things feel abnormal. And remind yourself (and sometimes him as well) that it will get better.

If the situation has gone longer than 6 months it needs a more serious response. Look to a pastor, small group leader, or trusted Christian friend. It may be good for your husband to receive counsel regarding career or personal issues. Encourage him to seek it. It is always good to receive an outside perspective from a trusted source. It may lead to a job change that neither of you could see because you're on the inside. Keep in mind that most guys don't care to see a counselor for whatever reason. Encourage him nonetheless. People in unhappy work situations for long periods of time can be helped a lot by making changes even when those changes bring short term pain.

Be there by his side. Tough decisions will need to be made (together) but in the end you will grow closer towards each other and most importantly to God.

What would you say to this person?