Irritabiliy.....how is that working for you?

IRRITABILITY ~ INTIMACY

"For a marriage relationship to flourish there must be intimacy. It takes an enormous amount of courage to say to your spouse, 'This is me. I'm not proud of it--in fact, I'm a little embarrassed by it--but this is who I am.'" ~ Bill Hybels

Last month we were able to take a journey through the Busyness that affects your marriage and relationships, let's look this month at Irritability and Intimacy from The 6 Mosquitoes, that drain the life out of marriage and relationships. Are you an irritable person? Do you know irritable people? We have all seen visuals of irritable people. As a matter of fact, we do not even have to look far. They are all around us. They check us out at the grocery store, they teach our children, they share the office next to us, they answer the phone at the doctor's office, they sit next to us in church pews on Sundays and yes, at times, they even live in our homes. Irritability is immaturity of character and if you are subject to being unpleasant and rude to others for no apparent reason, you need to come face to face with the fact that your behavior is extremely selfish. And the reality is that many of us are irritable because it is easier to be angry than to admit we hurt, thus creating a wall in our lives that block us from intimacy with not only ourselves, but also with God. Please understand, irritability is not the issue, it is merely a symptom of the issue. It is a lot like having a sinus infection. You can blow your nose over and over, but the sinus infection is not going away without being treated. Irritability is the same way, you can blow your top over and over again, but until you figure out the source of your temper and discontent, nothing in your life will change for the better. Spencer Tracy says it so well in the following quote: "I lose my temper, but it's all over in a minute," said the student. "So is the hydrogen bomb," I replied. "But think of the damage it produces!" How then do we take our irritability and turn it into intimacy? Maybe its time to sit down with your spouse and figure out how irritability is negatively affecting your home. Ask questions of each other and of yourself such as:

*What is the root of my irritability and am I willing to come face to face with that root?
*How does my irritability make you feel?
*When in the company of others, do I leave a sweet aroma or a harsh odor?
*Do people refer to me as an "out of control" angry person or a person who is respectful and gentle?
*Do my words cut others or build them up?
*Why is it difficult to deal with what is really wrong? What am I afraid of?
*Who do I need to set free from my actions and harsh words so that others can see God?

Until we open our hearts to those we love, we will never experience a communication break through. This is not easy! We have to risk vulnerability to the point of possible rejection as it seems that life is so much fuller when we fail spectacularly risking much than to pass along leading a mediocre existence. Wouldn't it be so awesome if we all decided to be a once in a lifetime mate, a once in a lifetime parent, friend, co-worker or servant? We are all longing for people for people to see us as we are and still love us just the same. So, "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." ~ Colossians 4:6

Steve and Debbie Wilson
www.marriagemattersnow.com