Alex Pott, a resident at a group home in Asheville, N.C., operated by the North Carolina Baptist Children's Homes, runs under a parachute during a game. Photo by James Yates.
This year LifeWay celebrates 30 years of special needs ministry. In 1979, the Sunday School Board began offering printed materials for teaching special needs learners. Over the past three decades, resources have been developed and adapted to the growing needs of churches seeking to minister to those with developmental and other special needs.
As I learned of this benchmark, I thought about friends of mine who have family members with special needs. I wondered what their experiences were like, especially with respect to the church, with a loved one who needed special attention and ministry. So I sent out an e-mail asking for some honest reflection and feedback about their experiences. Here are the responses I received from my friends Travis Fleming and Jason Elder to the following questions.
Tell me about your family history with a family member with special needs.
- Jason – When I was 12 my sister, Lori Beth, was born with Down Syndrome. The doctors didn’t diagnose it until she was 2 weeks old, so for her first month of life I remember our family being anxious about the diagnosis and prognosis, yet joyful over her. We were told she would never be able to feed herself. But this past year she graduated from high school. Boy were they wrong! Within her first year she had heart surgery, several tests and scores of doctor visits. Here my parents were, in their mid-40s, with three children ranging from a 22-year-old to this newborn, but they were resilient.
This experience brought our family together. Lori’s birth and difficulty created more love in our family. Lori is one of the most social people you will meet. When I go home to visit now she is the most famous person around. Store vendors know her from her volunteering with her community center. Students know her from her former high school and Special Olympics competitions. Others know her from church. Each time we are out with her in town we see the goodness of God as all of these people have accepted her at one level or the other. My parents disciplined her and guided her, but also allowed her to grow up and have some independence. It has been paid back with friendships, laughter and a joyful time for Lori.
- Travis – My younger sister, Joy Faye, is 32, and she was born with Down Syndrome. She is the third of four siblings in my family. Neither one of my parents had been exposed to Down's children before Joy was born. In fact, they did not know she had Down's until she was born. One of the doctors asked my parents if they wanted to put her up for adoption, but my folks thought he was crazy. Of course, they would keep Joy and love her just like the rest of their children.
It rocked their world at first – the questions that hit most parents who have special needs children: "Why does my child have to suffer? Did we do something wrong? Is God punishing us?"
Just because a parent asks these questions does not mean that they love their child any less. Parents need to know that it is okay to cry out to God; they need to know that Creator God is our refuge and our source of comfort. God's peace or presence does not leave his children even during a season where we have some hard questions to ask. God, however, through His mercy and grace granted my parents, in particular my mother, the wisdom to realize that they were chosen to have Joy because God knew they would love her unconditionally. I know that in my own life, when I was in elementary school, I didn't want my friends to know my sister had Down's for fear that they would make fun of her. I wanted to protect her. I love my sister, and I am still protective of her. But I've learned that only ignorant people make fun of the disabled. Most people love her for who she is!
What is your experience with churches that have members with special needs? Positive or negative?
- Jason – I remember our pastor visiting a lot, praying for our family and loving us. Our local church welcomed Lori and integrated her into every aspect. The kids her age have always spent time with her, befriended her and included her in prayer, games and regular life kinds of things. I have been on staff of churches with those with varying degrees of handicaps. The most impressed I have been is when a person will simply talk to the person with a disability as they would anyone else. There might be some awkward moments of misunderstanding, but they are talking with someone who is loved and treasured – by a mom, dad or sibling, and especially by their Creator.
- Travis – The people in the churches we have been a part of through the years have loved Joy and allowed her to be herself. However, the church we grew up in was a small church which did not have a program for Joy or other disabled individuals. Now, however, Joy and my parents are part of a church in Greenville, S.C., that has a special needs ministry called Noah's Ark. I think a lot of churches miss the mark on having a special needs ministry. There are scores of parents who need a church that can offer their child or their adult child an opportunity to be loved by God's grace through worship and through contextualized teaching for them.
Were your churches aware of resources that assist churches in ministering to these members?
- Jason – I don’t think a lot of churches are aware of these helpful resources, which is unfortunate. I find that most people want to love and minister in practical ways. The heart is there, but the education is not there to help the person feel competent as they minister or simply live life with the disabled. To me, it has never been an issue of heart or compassion, but more of an issue of confidence that only comes from equipping.
- Travis – The church I grew up in, I would say no. As for the church I pastor now, I would also say no for the general body. I am aware that if we could start a ministry I could do the research and find what is available. As far as what LifeWay has to offer, no, I am not fully aware of what we have to offer.
How do you currently minister and serve those with special needs? How should the church reach out and minister to people with these needs, and in what ways?
- Jason – I was once on staff of a church that met at our city’s only park and recreation center for disabled adults. We would frequently go in for meetings and would talk to some needy adults there. Often times, the church might try to duplicate a ministry that is already existing and thriving within their own community. I love it when Christians just come along side of existing works, not to take over, but to come under and serve. It is wonderful to sprinkle the good news in that way.
I would also say that there needs to be a point where we change our mindset and instead of saying, “How do I minister to them?” wesay, “How can we minster along with them?” This is about a mindset that says that everyone is a part of the church, everyone contributes something because everyone is gifted by God. I have a friend, Daniel, who was born with cerebral palsy. I met him two years ago. He spends his days downtown talking with business owners and neighbors, sharing the gospel with them. When we are together, the joy of the gospel is overflowing from him. He’s loud and has little control over his arms, so he flails. He is difficult to understand, but very articulate. He is so bold and lives his life with a focus on living, breathing and preaching that Christ is the cure for racial tension. His church has come along side of him and supports him in this ministry. Daniel is gifted and his church is blessed by it. Moreover, God is gaining glory for Himself through physical brokenness and spiritual vibrancy.
- Travis – Offer events and activities which they can relate to, and give other church members the opportunity to love on and reach out to special needs persons. They are still created in God's image, and God loves them. We should go out of our way to reach out to "the least of these."
I am so thankful for these first-person reflections on special needs ministry. While the Lord may not entrust your biological family with those with special needs (like the families of Jason and Travis), he might entrust your church family with the opportunity to reach out to, serve, minister to and minister with members of the special needs community. Hopefully, God is reminding you to remember those special people among you or around you, for His glory and their good!
Entry by Micah Carter
For more on special needs ministry resources, click here.
Lillian Bingham, wife of Senior Pastor Lincoln Bingham, enthusiastically leads the music for the Sunday morning worship service at St. Paul Baptist Church at Shively Heights (Louisville, Ky.)
