Can Dads Nurture? You Bet!
I taught sixth grade for one year after graduating from college. One day in our Reading class, we read a short descriptive story about teachers. The text told how teachers were kind, loving, and nurturing -- just like having another mom right there at school. One of my students raised her hand and said, "That sure isn't you, Mr. Summey!"
She was right! I wasn't that type of teacher but still those words bothered me a little. It certainly wasn't that I wanted to be a substitute mom to these kids, but the idea that Dads can't be nurturing seemed just plain wrong!
Since then I have learned how important dads are. They just are nurturing in different ways than moms. For example, moms may have the tendency to build intimacy through conversation. Dads may literally connect just as much while shooting hoops together, working on the car, or doing chores around the house. One study showed that dads rolling in the floor wrestling with their kids is just as effective at building relationships as a mom's gentle hug! But that still won't get you out of trouble if you knock over Mom's favorite lamp!
The lesson for both moms and dads is not to try and makeover your spouse in your image. There is more than one way to connect with your kids! So do what works best for your personality and that of each of your kids. In fact, finding your child's love language (what communicates love and appreciation most effectively to your child) is the most important aspect of this process. Each child will be different, but it will be a fun journey to discover how to connect with your kids!
How do you like to spend time with your kids?
