Letting Go ... Sort of!
I'm struggling to let go of my little boy! No ... he's not graduating from high school and going off to college like so many parents are dealing with these days. He's not even moving from elementary school to middle school this fall or headed off to summer camp soon. After all, he's not even 2 yet ... but I'm still struggling. Confused?
You see ... often working moms have to put their children in day care because it is their best (or only) option. But my husband and I have been blessed with wonderful mothers that live close enough to take turns caring for Jack on the weekdays while we are at work. I'm not saying it's easy to leave him every day, but at least I completely trust his caregivers because I know they care for him just as much as I do. They truly take care of him as if he was their own ... except for maybe the occasional spoiling that grandmothers are entitled to!!
But lately I have been wondering if Jack would enjoy going to a mother's day out or weekday preschool program and being around other children. Being the worrier that I am, I worry that without frequent interactions with other children and adults Jack is missing some important social development skills. I also think structure is healthy for every child and it would be good for him to get used to structure. I wonder if he would start talking more often and more clearly if he had the chance to interact with his peers more than just on Sundays. Not to mention that fact that Jack LOVES other kids. His face lights up when other kids are around.Being totally honest and transparent ... I still get nervous leaving Jack with preschool volunteers at church. We recently took advantage of a parent's night out hosted by our church and I had knots in my stomach for the first 30 minutes after we left him. But it turns out, he was in great hands and had a blast!
So that is where the letting go comes in. I really want Jack to benefit from a mother's day out/preschool setting (not to mention give the grandparents a break), but I have a very hard time trusting other people to care for my child. The thought of leaving Jack with people that don't love him like I do and I don't know very well terrifies me.
All of this makes me wonder if it will ever get any easier? What will it be like to send him off to kindergarten, elementary school, summer camp, ... ? The list goes on and on (and I'm breaking out in a sweat just thinking about it)! All I know is that I have to learn to trust that God is in control ... and though it's hard to fathom, He loves Jack even more than I do. Jack belongs to God (not me) and his every move is in God's hands. I just need to pray that God will help me loosen my grip when the time is right!
Does it ever get any easier to let go? Do you struggle trust issues like I do ... with others ... with God? What helps you as you face these challenging situations?
Comments (2)
It never gets easier, but as you move through the milestones and you see God's faithfulness, and as you grow in your understanding of being a parent and thus grow in your faith and ability to trust God's care for your child, you are able to let go "quicker" I think each new time. There's always the pang because your child is the most important thing in your life. But experience makes it easier to shift to their success and joy of the milestone a little quicker.
Posted on May 21, 2010 8:52 AM
Aww, Jack is getting big! As I've grown up, I feel that it has been so good for my parents to be able to 'let go and let God.'
I know that each time I leave home it stretches them, and they grow closer to the Lord because of it. I think that prayer is one major thing that helped my parents face these challenging times. When they focused their efforts on praying for me instead of worrying about me, He was most glorified!
My parents will always be there for me and they continually encourage me, but it is wonderful to know that they trust God with my life!
Posted on May 21, 2010 2:24 PM