ParentLife Blog

Can You Top This Funny Story?

My wife took care of the back to school shopping this year. Before she took the boys, she pulled out last year's backpacks and lunchboxes to make sure they were OK with the old ones or really wanted something new. Twelve-year-old Jonathan was OK with his backpack and lunchbox. Six-year-old Christopher said he really wanted a new backpack but was OK with the Spider-Man lunchbox he had carried in Kindergarten.

So imagine my surprise when on the first day of school, with lunches already packed, Christopher informs us that he was embarrassed by Spider-Man and didn't want to take last year's lunchbox to school! I guess Spider-Man became so-o-o Kindergarten (little kids stuff to a 1st grader)!

So on the way to school, we made the switch. I put my lunch in the Spider-Man lunchbox and Christopher took the older, more drab Daddy lunchbox to school the first day. So I proudly carried Spider-Man into work (and even posted it on FaceBook) so that my boy could have a great first day of school! The lengths that parents will go for their children!

Can you top this funny story? Did you know we publish funny stories each month in ParentLife as part of our "Funny Life" column? You can receive $20 and see your funny story in print if we choose yours! Just e-mail it to us at parentlife@Lifeway.com and put Funny Life in the subject line.

Giveaway Reminder

Have you forgotten about our August giveaway? It is one you don't want to miss!

During the month of August we are giving away 5 copies of singer/songwriter Andrew Peterson's new number-one album Counting Stars. Check the album out on Centricity Music's Web site. I have the album and it is quickly becoming one of my favorites!

We are also giving away 5 copies of Andrew Peterson's great juvenile fiction novel North! Or Be Eaten — the 2010 Christy Award winner for Young Adult Fiction.

Everyone* who posts on our blog during August will be entered. So let us hear from you!

For more on Andrew Peterson, visit www.andrew-peterson.com or www.rabbitroom.com.

*LifeWay employees are not eligible for this giveaway. Multiple comments do not increase chances of winning. Winners will be announced on September 1, 2010.

Caution: Check All Labels! by Carrie Bevell Partridge

"It's all about me."

"I know everything."

"I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me."

"If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me."

"I hate everything."

"My attitude . . . your problem"

"I'm the boss around here.  The parents are just for show."

"Saw it. Wanted it. Threw a fit. Got it!"

If your child made any one of these statements out loud, wouldn't you have something to say about it?  Why, then, do some parents allow their children to wear T-shirts with these exact words on them? Yes, these shirts are for sale, and these are among some of the tamer ones available both online and in regular retail stores.

I don't think that any parents would necessarily say that they want to encourage selfishness, self-centeredness, and sassy attitudes in their children, but I think that if you allow your child to make these declarations on her clothing, you are basically cultivating these very ideas — especially if you are the one buying these shirts for your child. It doesn't matter that the words aren't coming directly from the child's mouth; they are on her chest for people to read over and over again.

Some people find these messages of self-absorption, rudeness, and disrespect to be humorous and maybe even innocent, but even if the shirt is meant as a joke, the opportunity is not there for the child or parent to explain that to each person who reads it. I believe that you have a responsibility to guide your children in the messages they are sending by what they wear. And if you don't start giving guidelines about it when they are young, how can you expect your children to listen to you when they are teenagers and want to display even worse messages?

There are many facets to the subject of children's apparel, but I feel that these spelled-out messages are pretty black and white. You wouldn't want anyone to label your child as "Spoiled," "Royal Highness," "Troublemaker," or "Little Terror." So why would you allow your child to literally label herself that way? As I was taught in psychology and education classes in college — and also in life — if a child is labeled, there is a good chance that she will eventually live up to that label. So be careful. Be a parent! Heed the warnings of those who warn against labeling. Or the next shirt your child puts on might be the one that says: "Blame my parents."

Carrie Bevell Partridge is a columnist and freelance writer from Jackson, Mississippi. Visit Carrie's blogs: www.stuffmamaslike.blogspot.com and www.oncarriesmind.blogspot.com.

A Child's Understanding of Death

About one year ago, both of our cats died. Samantha died of cancer. Tobey was killed by a coyote. At that time, Jonathan was newly 11 and Christopher 5. They had very different understandings of what death meant. Christopher really wanted to see Samantha's body before I buried her. Jonathan did not. Christopher had a more limited understanding of what death meant than his older brother. He saw another black cat and wondered if it was Samantha. Jonathan understood the permanence of death.

Have you had to talk with your children about death? This month in ParentLife, Dr. Mom writes about grief in "Mommy, What Happened? Helping Children Grieve" (p. 45). It is often helpful to know how children grieve differently at different ages. Dr. Mom provided us the following information on these ages differences exclusively for our blog.

A child’s ability to understand the concept of death varies by age, maturity level, life experiences, and faith beliefs:

• Infants and Toddlers. While children under 2 have no concept of death, they react to separation from their caregiving adults and notice when their caregivers are sad.
• Preschoolers. Preschoolers do not understand the finality of death and think it is reversible. They may repeatedly ask when the deceased person is coming back. Because they believe their negative thoughts have power, they may feel responsible when something bad happens.
• School-age Children. School-aged children can understand the finality of death but tend to think it happens to others.
• Preteens. Preteens understand that death happens to everyone. They often seek comfort from peers, as well as their family.

What are some ways you have ministered to kids in the midst of grief?

More About Tegu Blocks

In our August 2010 "Today's Life" article (p. 48), Joy Fisher highlighted a cool product called Tegu Blocks. These blocks are designed to make play a simultaneous learning experience. Tegu block sets include shapes such as cubes, long planks, short planks, and jumbo planks, which all connect by a magnetic force.

After our August issue went to the printer, we discovered that by purchasing Tegu Blocks, you have the opportunity to send a child in Honduras to school. So far, over 900 school days have been granted for children who otherwise would not be able to attend school. What a great way to help make learning fun for your child and to help a great cause at the same time!

And just this week, Tegu announced the launch of Tegu Tints.
 

Tegu Tints adds an extra layer of excitement to Tegu’s traditional block shapes, livening the signature cubes and planks in five different translucent colors: green, orange, turquoise, pink, and yellow. Tegu's proprietary tinting process, which applies specially formulated water-based lacquers to beautiful hardwoods, has been carefully engineered to highlight the natural beauty of the wood while respecting the environment.  All Tegu blocks incorporate responsibly sourced hardwoods and exceed all safety requirements mandated by the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act.

Tegu Tints will be available for purchase at www.tegu.com this September. Visit www.tegu.com for more information!

Help Your Child Make Friends

Don't miss Rebecca Isbell's great article "Practical Playtime" in the August edition of ParentLife about helping kids develop social skills through play. Dr. Isbell offers a few additional tips for our blog this month. Check it out below!

Some children are natural at initiating play — and relationships — with other children, while others must be guided. Here are some tips for ensuring your child will learn to make and keep friends.

• Start with the Golden Rule. “Have them consider, ‘Would you like it if Jayden did that to you?’” says Corinne Gregory, founder of SocialSmarts, a nationally-recognized program that teaches good social skills, positive character, and values to kids. “Young children are not aware of how much power they have to make other people feel good or bad. To build and keep friends, you have to put yourself in their shoes. Keep reinforcing this concept with your child, praising positive behavior when you see it and gently correcting the negative.”
• Offer consistency. “Teaching the concept of ‘friend’ comes best when there can be one consistent one-on-one situation, one consistent family with whom you and your child feel comfortable,” says Andrea Gould, Ph.D., president of Lucid Learning Systems. “After mastering the art of playing peaceably with one other youngster, preferably close in age, a child can learn, with guidance, to generalize about friendship, its comforts, and its challenges. Good experience generalizes readily.”
• Foster empathy. “Learning to recognize and interpret social cues such as a sad face, a laugh, or a child’s need to be alone can determine whether or not your child will make and keep friends easily,” says Jackie Gass, president of Sunbrook Academy and early childhood development expert. “You can promote the process [of developing empathy] through everyday experiences by talking about facial expressions of others and asking, ‘How do you think she feels?’ or ‘How does that make you feel?’ or ‘Does he look happy or sad?’ You can also encourage this by expressing your own feelings or through books and games.”
• Pay attention and discuss what you see. “Talk to your child about what to expect when you go to the park, attend a birthday party, or school,” says Vicki Folds, Ph.D., vice president of education and professional development at Children of America. “If your child dominates situations, discuss how the other children might be feeling if they never get a turn. If your child stands back and waits for others to engage them, you might want to encourage your child to initiate a game. At the end of a play day, encourage your child to tell you about the day, about the friends they made, and what they did. This helps them remember events and build relationships.”

Not Perfect, But Right for Us by Joy Fisher

A few days ago I took my kids to play with some friends at the elementary school playground in preparation for school starting back this week. Watermelon and popsicles helped the children ease back into the group dynamic. Moms and dads stood around in the shade talking about how quickly the summer days have rushed by.

Construction has been ongoing on our school campus all summer. A new classroom wing is being added, and the older sections are getting cosmetic upgrades. The day we were there, the parking lot was still littered with construction equipment and storage trailers. It’s pretty safe to say that conditions will be less than perfect on the first day of school.

That experience is a good picture of how I feel about our choice to send our kids to public school. Every year, there’s a lot of pleasantness, but also a bit of clutter. Like many parents in the public school system, we did our homework and moved into a school zone we felt good about. We didn’t know it then, but eventually we needed special education services that included a program for our son who has Down syndrome as well as academic enrichments for our two little scholars.

My children entered grades 2, 4, and 6 last week. The key for getting off to a great start is the same formula I’ve used for many years: Be positive! Greeting administrators with a smile and signing up to help in my kids’ rooms sets the tone for the entire year. When those inevitable imperfections arise, I try to be a part of healthy solutions.

Enrolling in the public school system means there will always be frustrations regarding zoning, aging facilities, larger classes, and budget shortfalls. That’s the clutter. The bright spots are teachers who love kids, interaction with families from other cultures and walks of life, and the challenge of teaching our children to make the best of situations that are sometimes less than ideal.

Joy Fisher was part of the editorial team of ParentLife’s premiere issue over 16 years ago. These days, she serves as contract Content Editor of Bible Teaching for Kids Special Buddies, LifeWay’s Sunday School curriculum for children with special needs. She and David have been married since 1995 and are the parents of Samuel, Jacob, and Lara.  

Do your children attend public school? Tell us about your public-school experiences.

Fun Friday Photo -- August 27, 2010

Who says boys can't be creative? In some downtime this summer, our boys decided to make their own baseball cards! Christopher, age 6, sports his best pitcher pose for his card!

Thanks to William S. for this great photo!

Photos wanted! Send us your funny, cute, or just plain fun pictures for our Fun Friday Photos. Each Friday we will post a new "Fun Friday Photo." E-mail your photo and a suggested caption describing the photo to parentlife@lifeway.com. Visit the blog each Friday to see if your photo was chosen!

Fun Friday Photo -- August 20th, 2010

"You're a real dog, but I love you anyway."

Fun Friday Photo -- August 13, 2010

Riley's first time trying apple sauce! Not what she expected! They must have been sour apples!

Thanks to Valeska R. for this great photo!

Photos wanted! Send us your funny, cute, or just plain fun pictures for our Fun Friday Photos. Each Friday we will post a new "Fun Friday Photo." E-mail your photo and a suggested caption describing the photo to parentlife@lifeway.com. Visit the blog each Friday to see if your photo was chosen!

How to Find a Good Babysitter

We are proud to have Dr. Linda Mintle in ParentLife each month answering questions submitted from readers. To submit a question for Dr. Mintle, e-mail it to parentlife@lifeway.com and include "? for Dr. Mintle" on the subject line. This month we have an extra Q&A from Dr. Mintle we wanted to share.

Q: I’d like some guidelines on choosing a babysitter. I am afraid to bring someone in to my home that I don’t know very well. We have several teenagers in our church and I’d like to use a few of them but how do I know which ones to use?

A: You can’t be too careful as to who watches your children when you are away. The younger the ages of your children, the less they can tell you about the babysitter, so you have to do your homework ahead of time.

• The best place to begin is to ask for references from other parents. If other parents have used the sitter and have been satisfied, that usually is a good sign.
• Interview the sitter and try to schedule a time to watch her interact with other children. Perhaps you could watch her in the church nursery or in a Sunday School class.
• Talk to older siblings of families who have used a babysitter and get their impressions of the person. I think it is best to hire someone you know fairly well or take the recommendation from someone you trust.
• If you can, find someone who shares your values. This usually impacts the way a sitter handles a problem, the type of media she brings into your home and the way she talks to your child. Ask her how she would handle specific problems.
• Ask if the sitter has taken a babysitter class at a local hospital or community agency. My daughter did this when she was older and learned CPR, poison control and other important emergency protocols. Safety is so important that you need someone who knows and follows safety guidelines such as locking doors and windows, keeping hazards away from children, staying off the phone and is clear headed if a problem occurs. 
• Is the sitter a caring person who actually likes children? If she is a teenager who is doing this for money but has no interest in your child and ignores your child most of the time, pass on that person. The sitter should also be reliable and consistent—showing up when she says, arranging rides, following the rules you outline, etc. A sitter who makes excuses for why she didn’t follow your instructions raises a red flag.
• Ask your child how she liked the sitter, if she wants her back and pay attention to how she behaves when the sitter is gone. Even young kids can give you some indication of how they were treated.
• You can also make a surprise visit home to see what is going on. Some people even go so far as putting cameras in their homes so they can watch how the sitter dealt with their child. That seems a bit extreme to me. I did surprise the sitter a few times when I forgot something. It was actually reassuring to see them smiling and having fun.

Extra Resource: What to Expect Baby-sitter Handbook by Heidi Murkoff (Workman Publishing Company, 2003)

Mommy Blogger of the Month @ By Moms for Moms Blog

I had the awesome opportunity to be a Mommy Blogger of the Week on the By Moms for Moms blog! I am so honored that they asked me to participate. Be sure to stop by and check it out!

Photo Processing Options by Kelli Regan

In the August 2010 issue of ParentLife, Kelli Regan helped you navigate the 7 Cs of digital photography. And with the kids headed back to school, you may have some great first-day-of-school photos you are ready to print. At-home, in-store, and online options for printing photos and creating projects abound. With so many choices, which is best? Let's consider the pros and cons.

Print at Home

With the cost of photo printers falling, do-it-yourself photo printing seems like a good idea. But is it?

Pros:

• Instant gratification
• Convenience
• Good choice for a few pictures
• Creative control

Cons:

• Cost. Ink and photo paper are expensive. The average print-at-home 4x6 photo costs upwards of 28 cents. 
• Upfront cost of purchasing photo printer, ink, and photo paper
• Added technical involvement

Retail Store Self-Service.

Just about every drugstore, warehouse, and mass merchandiser (such as CVS, Rite Aid, Sam’s Club, Costco, Target, and Walmart) offer a photo kiosk. To use one, just bring your camera’s media card or a photo CD and get started. 

Pros:

• Consistently high-quality prints
• Prints are usually less than 19 cents each
• Often ready in an hour
• On-site editing
• Variety of print and gift options available
• Most offer online sites to upload and pre-order pictures

Cons:

• Hassle factor of going to the store, waiting in line, and standing there to edit/upload/order
• Once out of your camera, the tiny media card is easy to lose. Guard it carefully!

Online Photo Finishers

Online photo sites are sprouting up every day, but the three most popular are Shutterfly, Snapfish, and Kodak Gallery. Each offers similar services, products, and pricing.

Pros:

• Cost: Prints can be as low as 9 cents each.
• Done in the comfort of your own home
• Consistently high-quality prints
• Online editing and special effects
• Photos remain on the site for future use
• Pick up prints at local retailers.
• Extensive variety of photo products including photo books, posters, cards, notepads, puzzles, calendars, mugs, and more

Cons:

• Wait time of two to five days
• Cost of shipping

What is your favorite way to print your digital photos? Do you have tips for readers who are just getting started in digital photography? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment!

Fun Friday Photo -- August 6, 2010

Bryson and Keelin Begley hanging out with a gorilla at the Toledo Zoo

 Thanks to Salena B. for this great photo!

Photos wanted! Send us your funny, cute, or just plain fun pictures for our Fun Friday Photos. Each Friday we will post a new "Fun Friday Photo." E-mail your photo and a suggested caption describing the photo to parentlife@lifeway.com. Visit the blog each Friday to see if your photo was chosen!

My School Choice: Homeschool by Rebecca Ingram Powell

Homeschooling is not for everyone. After 14 years spent in home education, I believe it is a calling, and not everyone is called to homeschool. For instance, my dad, a pastor, would never tell others that they should be preachers too. That is his calling. He knows it is not for everyone. My mom was called to teach in the public school, and her career spanned several decades. She loved it, but she didn't think that everyone else should teach school. It was her calling. Whether your calling is dentistry, homemaking, fire fighting, or counseling, nothing but that is going to work for you. Homeschooling has worked for my family because I knew that it was what I was supposed to do.

I felt the Lord calling me to be a homeschooling mom when I just 8 years old! I was home from school for a "snow day." I loved being at home because we were all together. On this particular snow day I decided to tally the number of hours each week that I spent in school, the number of hours I spent sleeping, and the number of hours I actually had at home. Even at 8 years old, I didn't like the way those numbers added up. I know it may sound really strange to some of you (maybe all of you!), but I believe the seed for homeschooling was planted in my heart that day.

Fast-forward nearly 10 years (1985). This time, I was a high school senior, at home with a bad case of "senior-itis." LOL! I was watching The Phil Donahue Show, and Phil's guests that day were David and Micki Colfax. The Colfaxes had garnered national attention for their outrageous decision to homeschool their four boys. They had written a book about their home education experience, and the proof was in the pudding: Their sons had all been accepted into Ivy League schools. Impressive! The seed settled into fertile soil.
Less than two years later, I was working my summer job at the mall, and I met a mom who was homeschooling her two children. They were different, yes, but it was a difference to which I felt drawn. The mom was peaceful; the children were well-behaved and courteous. I wanted that for my future family.

At that point, the seed in my heart began to take root. As the Lord often does when He calls, He confirmed my journey every step of the way, from a husband who was always devoted to this method of education, to friends who had been called as well. As we waded in, curriculum choices surfaced that were a perfect fit for my children’s needs. And when the challenge of high school came along, the Lord provided tutorial programs that gave my students the benefit of learning from teachers who were experts in their respective fields.

Oh, and the question I was asked about a bazillion times in the early days, What about socialization? Well, my kids have had friends, played on sports teams, and been active in their church and community. These days we are often asked, What about college? We’ve only graduated one so far, but she was awarded a merit scholarship to the university of her dreams, where she’ll be attending this fall.

I do not believe that homeschooling is the right fit for every family. But if it is the right fit for yours, and if you feel the Lord is calling you to make this decision, then I encourage you to honor Him with your obedience. I will tell you from my own experience that I have no regrets. The lessons I have taught my children are irreplaceable, the value of possessing a Christian worldview is immeasurable, and the years that have flown by are irreversible.

Rebecca Ingram Powell is the author of Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose. Read more about Rebecca’s homeschooling journey on her blog: www.MomSeriously.com.

ParentLife Everyday -- Our August issue

Each month ParentLife pulls together a one page document for preschool and children's leaders and teachers that highlights articles that might help to families they work with. But this also seemed like a great tool for parents as well!

All of the articles below are in our current August issue of ParentLife. Read the articles that minister to your family and pass along a copy to those who might benefit from it!

Preteens Moving to Middle School?
Get practical advice for helping parents in your church whose preteens are making the transition to middle school (pp. 16-17).

Mean Girls & Boys
Cliques and bullying behavior are problems at school and church. Help parents and teachers know how to help (pp. 18-21)!

Connect With Life Truths Sunday School Curriculum for Adults
Every month ParentLife connects with what parents are studying in the Life Truths curriculum line of Sunday School materials for parents. This month the article “Sabbath Rest” encourages parents to provide a day of rest for their families (pp. 24-26).

An Innocent Mistake
Help kids understand about immodest dress — just in time for back-to-school clothes shopping (pp. 28-31)!

Special Friends
Help children relate to people with special needs (pp. 32-33).

Back-to-School Helps
Don’t miss our extra back-to-school helps in our monthly departments. These departments include tips for making lunches, being involved in your child’s school, and keeping children active (pp. 38-40).

Stressed on the Job?
This article will help parents keep job stress at work rather than bringing it home (p. 43).

Helping Children Grieve
Dr. Mom provides tips for helping children deal with grief after a loss (p. 45).

For a downloadable pdf of this content, click on the link below:

ParentlifeEveryday_0708.pdf

August Giveaway Features Andrew Peterson

During the month of August we are giving away 5 copies of singer/songwriter Andrew Peterson's new number-one album Counting Stars. Check the album out on Centricity Music's Web site.

We are also giving away 5 copies of Andrew Peterson's great juvenile fiction novel North! Or Be Eaten — the 2010 Christy Award winner for Young Adult Fiction.

Everyone* who posts on our blog during August will be entered. So let us hear from you!

For more on Andrew Peterson, visit www.andrew-peterson.com or www.rabbitroom.com.

*LifeWay employees are not eligible for this giveaway. Multiple comments do not increase chances of winning. Winners will be announced on September 1, 2010.

July Giveaway Winners

We promised to give away children's books to the first 25 commenters during the month of July. Were you one of them? If so, you will be hearing from the ParentLife staff in the very near future!

We loved reading all of your comments about your favorite children's books! Thanks so much for sharing!

Be on the lookout for our August blog giveaway! Trust me ... it's going to be a great one!