A Better Parent by Jessie Weaver
I'm pretty sure that those women who say they love being pregnant are lying.
It's not that I don't love feeling the baby move (except when, say, he's sitting on my lungs so I can't breathe at all). But pregnancy doesn't agree with me. I do not love it. I love the results.
Most of my current pregnancy has been characterized by intense fatigue. Some days, I can barely make it to the end of the day. Many days, I join my toddler for naptime.
And yet, as a pretty new stay-at-home mom, I feel like I should be getting my daughter out and about all the time. She needs to see the other kids, I tell myself. I sacrifice my sanity to go to playgroups and museums and meetings. We both end up exhausted.
I was really encouraged by several "more experienced" mommas lately. One is author and actress Lisa Whelchel, who gave this interview and advised moms to just be moms. Another friend who came home to be with her son after working full-time experienced the same "have to's" — have to keep the house perfect, have to be a perfect chef, have to do crafts, have to have the kiddo in every playgroup imaginable. After months of this, she was burnt out and admits the most important thing is being a mommy.
Last week, I backed out of several activities with my local MOMS club. Good things, but not as important as being a good mom. An exhausted woman does not make the best mommy to an insanely active almost 2-year-old. I keep clinging to the fact that these are the last few months I have alone with my Libbie. If making them count means doing puzzles with her on the floor and reading books all day, I am happy with that solution.
Do you struggle with the "have to's"? I'd be happy to read any pointers from moms — and dads! — with more experience.
Comments (1)
Jessie, I'm sure it's hard to find a balance of being mom AND being involved. You're a great mom! And Libbie and David are blessed to have you :)
Posted on October 26, 2010 8:42 PM