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Building Our Children Up with Words by Kristen White

Jodi Skulley-January 7, 2011-Comments (0)

How easy it is to forget the power of words in the daily grind of life. As parents, we know it is essential to wisely choose words that will minister to our children — essential, and also nearly impossible! Give a sweet answer to whiny, arguing children? Are you kidding?

I’ve lost my temper more times than I’d care to admit. When I do, I apologize to God and my children. But as much as possible, I try to avoid anger because we cannot erase the impact of mean words. We never know when words we say are going to stick, so we must learn to break destructive communication habits and employ words that galvanize our kids’ faith in God and assure them of their part in His plan.

Here are some techniques to jump start the construction project your words are building in your child’s heart.

Word Pictures
A word picture is like a grade-school simile. You might tell your son that his effort to study for a science test or stick with a difficult sports team situation is like a rock climber who reached the top of a mountain. You might tell your daughter that her choice not to watch a questionable movie keeps her heart as beautiful as fine china. Word pictures help our children grasp abstract compliments — it puts them in terms that they understand. That way, they can digest and get strength from our words more easily.

Repetition/Memorization
Short Scripture verses about personal worth and cute poems and songs about God’s involvement in our lives keep the Lord before our children’s minds constantly. Thinking about Him becomes part of the rhythm of their lives — and it does something amazing in setting a positive tone in our homes.

Nearly every time my husband’s extended family gathers, his father leads us in saying, “I praise You, Lord. I need You, Lord. I love You, Lord.” I’ve never been around another family who does something like this regularly, but because of this verbal testimony, our children have grown up knowing that our entire family relies on the Lord.

Telling Moral Stories
Children love storytelling. It entertains and teaches. As parents, we can revisit stories in times of correction. We can say, “Remember when Suzie did that? How did that work out for her? How did she feel? How do you think I am feeling now since you broke our family rule?” Of course, the greatest moral stories are found in the Bible. Stories are great conversation starters and act in much the same way as word pictures — it puts relational information in a format that younger kids can grasp.

Nightly Blessing
At bedtime, give your child a blessing. You can create a blessing based on Scripture that you repeat daily, or you can change up what you say each day based on something that happened in your child’s life. I like to kiss my children’s forehead or touch their cheeks gently when I give a blessing — although my 13-year-old boy has recently informed me that a head pat will suffice instead of a kiss.

Regular Old Compliments
Be sincere when you dole them out, but nothing does so much good in a child’s (or adult’s!) heart as a great, thoughtful compliment.

It’s easy to let the days rush by and the schedule control our family life. And in the heat of those busy moments, we may say some things we wish we hadn’t. Take some time to clear up the messed-up messages in the air. Then put some new, positive models of communication into place. You’ll be amazed at the difference a little effort makes!

To read more about the power of your words as a parent, don't miss Kristen's January 2011 ParentLife article "The Power of Words."

How does your family focus on positive words? Have you ever said something to your child that you regretted?