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Talking About Differences by Amy Fenton Lee

Jodi Skulley-January 17, 2011-Comments (3)

Recently my 5-year-old son noticed an army veteran strolling through the grocery store in her wheelchair. Aware of the veteran’s injured legs my son began asking questions aloud about our fellow shopper. Rather than briskly hushing my son, I recognized the opportunity to begin shaping his world view of disability.

Because the word disability often produces negative images, oftentimes not adequately reflecting an individual’s capacity for contribution, I avoided using the term in our conversation. Instead, we talked about the lady’s “differences,” noting that her unique life experiences (and service to our country) may have affected her ability to walk. I explained that God creates everyone to have unique physical traits and unique life experiences. As a result, we would expect each person to have different strengths, weakness, abilities, and special needs. And in the case of our fellow shopper, her unique experiences and traits meant that she required a wheelchair to maneuver from place to place.

Continuing on the subject of differences, I reminded my son how his body does not digest milk easily. His difference requires us to buy special foods so that he can absorb nutrients and avoid getting sick. I then asked my son to begin naming other types of differences people may have, and he quickly recalled his cousin’s need for eye glasses and a friend’s need for speech therapy.

While as adults we know that some diagnoses are easier and more commonplace, the goal in these first conversations is making differences an expected part of our child’s world. Conveying our respect for and acceptance of individuals affected by special needs is crucial to shaping our child’s view of disability. Addressing a child’s questions and discussing recognized differences may remove fears and ultimately promote better inclusion of other kids who are different.

Amy Fenton Lee equips churches for ministry to children with special needs through the The Inclusive Church Blog.

Have you ever had to talk to your child about someone's differences?

Comments (3)

Tarasview:

well said! It is so important to do this. My son has Autism and I've spent a lot of time helping my other children and the kids we know understand that God made us all different.

Posted on January 17, 2011 12:28 PM

Tina Houser:

I love the way Amy helps me understand the world of special needs ... both the children and their families. The words she pens and the insight she offers never fail to open my eyes and my heart. Her expertise is an incredible asset to the Church universal! Thanks, Amy. (I'm your biggest fan! Keep doin' what God has blessed you to do!)

Posted on January 17, 2011 12:42 PM

Trish:

Such good advice about using a teachable moment in a memorable way - great post!

Posted on January 17, 2011 5:26 PM

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