5 Tips for Parenting the Two-Child Family by Dr. Kevin Leman
- Give your firstborn a later bedtime. Even if the difference is as little as half an hour, enforce it. Your firstborn is watching.
- Make responsibilities and allowances different. The older child gets the most allowance and the most responsibility. But be sure the younger one does her share of the work.
- Avoid comparisons. Be aware of the dangers of those famous words, “Why aren’t you like your brother [or sister]?” Your remark is not only damaging, it is a foolish waste of breath.
- Don’t feel compelled to do for one what you did for the other. Treating each child differently may mean that sometimes one child gets a little more than the other. But it all evens out.
- Do things with one child at a time. Give both children plenty of one-on-one opportunities. Take one child alone on a shopping trip or even a business trip. If possible, leave half an hour early in the morning and stop for breakfast before dropping him at school. Just remember the cardinal rule: if you do something with one child, do something with the other, focusing on the need of each child.
How do you parent your older and younger children differently?
Dr. Kevin Leman, whose professional affiliations include the American Psychological Association, American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, National Register of Health Services Providers in Psychology, and the North American Society of Adlerian Psychology, earned his Doctorate degree in psychology from the University of Arizona. He lives in Tucson, Arizona, with his wife, Sande, and they have five children.
Dr. Leman is the author of more than 30 books and a dozen audio and DVD video titles. His bestsellers include: The Firstborn Advantage; The Birth Order Book: Why You Are The Way You Are; Have a New Kid by Friday; What Your Childhood Memories Say About You; Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours; Single Parenting That Works!; First Time Mom; What a Difference a Daddy Makes.
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