Child Friendships: What's Your Child Looking For?
When it comes to making friends, boys and girls look for different qualities. While boys tend to look for friends to share activities with, such as athletics, science, chess, or karate, girls look for friends to talk with, whether they’re sharing activities or not, says Natalie Robinson-Garfield, a psychotherapist and author of The Sense Connection.
“On the surface, [girls’ friendships and boys' friendships] might appear quite different,” says Richard Horowitz, a parenting coach and author of Family Centered Parenting. “Boys tend to be more hierarchical and will be more competitive with friends, including verbal put downs. Girls will be a bit more aware of their friends’ well-being and will be checking to make sure their friends are OK. However, both boys and girls can create an emotionally intimate relationship with a close friend and share vulnerabilities. Since it is more difficult for boys to get to this place, having a close male friend is really important in the life of a boy and young man.”
Studies show that the differences between girls’ friendships and boys’ friendships begin to narrow as children reach the preteen years. Regardless of what your child and his friend are doing together, the important thing is that they are learning to interact with and care about another person. “Even though both sexes go about doing it little differently, the need to relate and emotionally connect is the center theme,” says Simon Casey, Ph.D., a psychiatrist and author of Secrets to Emotional Wealth.
Have you noticed your children interacting differently as they make friends? Mine are still in the stage where they don't really even play with others. I'm interested to watch them grow up, as I have one of either sex! - Jessie
