Real Life Solutions: Playing Doctor
We are proud to have Dr. Linda Mintle in ParentLife each month answering questions submitted from readers. To submit a question for Dr. Mintle, e-mail it to parentlife@lifeway.com and include "? for Dr. Mintle" on the subject line. This month we have an extra Q&A from Dr. Mintle we wanted to share.
Q: My seven-year-old son was playing house with his same-age cousins. I saw them and noticed they were touching each other and trying to kiss. Should I be concerned about this type of play?
A: Today, parents are very concerned about possible sexual abuse and victimization with kids, so it is important to know what is normal sexual developmental behavior. During the early school age years (6-8), children often play games or role-play as they explore their sexual development.
Your child has a natural interest in body parts and function at age seven. The key here is to notice whether his sexual interest is excessive, that the play involves children the same developmental age, and that no activity was forced or coerced.
Children this age have a normal curiosity about physical bodies that often leads to sexual play, involving touching or role-playing what they see adults do. Most times, it is harmless. So stay calm and use this to teach your son about the privacy of a person’s body and appropriate touch. You can use a book to go over private parts with him in order to satisfy his curiosity.
If you are still concerned, require the children play in open areas of your home. Finally, if your child has been sexually abused, exposed to pornography, or has observed adults having sex, pay more attention to what he is doing in order to spot signs of inappropriate play.
Resources: Consider using the Learning About Sex series from Concordia Publishing. There are books for different ages and for boys and girls as well as a guide for parents, How to Talk Confidently with Your Child about Sex.
Do you have any more advice for this parent?
