Thanks to Carrie S. for this great photo!

Photos wanted! Send us your funny, cute, or just plain fun pictures for our Fun Friday Photos. Each Friday we will post a new "Fun Friday Photo." E-mail your photo and a suggested caption describing the photo to parentlife@lifeway.com. Visit the blog each Friday to see if your photo was chosen!

Before the season started, Jonathan came to me and asked for us to create a family fantasy football league online — and we did! I observed them play with the neighbors, drafting their own football teams to make franchises filled with players from their football cards. Christopher even reported at his preschool graduation last year that he wants to play for our local team — the Tennessee Titans — when he grows up!

As a parent, you want your children to dream while still maintaining realistic expectations. The question is — How can I balance these two for my children? You don’t want to give your children a limited view on life — what we often call “the box” — the one we want them to think “out of”!

So we let our boys play sports but have not ventured into travel teams or multiple sports at the same time. We know they love sports and certainly want them to be active and healthy but keep their schedules in balance while still developing those areas in which they are talented.

We also want them to be well-rounded and developed in other areas. Both boys are very musical as well but are not as enthusiastic about practicing the piano as they are with practicing baseball! But we have so many friends who say either “I am so glad my parents made me continue taking piano when I wanted to stop” or “I wish I had never stopped taking piano.” So we have to struggle sometimes with holding the boys to some activities that we hope will pay off in years to come.

As parents, our guide should be to train our children in the ways God has already gifted them and in God’s Word (Proverbs 22:6) with hopes of a lifetime relationship serving God. We hope that every issue of ParentLife helps you raise your children to do just that.

What are ways you need help in raising Christ-followers?

Be sure to stop by soon for details about our February 2010 giveaway!

Thanks to Becky W. for this great photo!

Photos wanted! Send us your funny, cute, or just plain fun pictures for our Fun Friday Photos. Each Friday we will post a new "Fun Friday Photo." E-mail your photo and a suggested caption describing the photo to parentlife@lifeway.com. Visit the blog each Friday to see if your photo was chosen!

This question is common, not just after divorce, but in traditional families as well. Many times a mom and dad have been raised with different belief systems, or they may have a change of belief later in life. One parent who used to attend church and confess to be a Christian then decides this is no longer true for him. With divorce, there is a high level of frustration that happens to Christians who, unfortunately, may feel judged or isolated by their church because outsiders do not understand or agree with the reasons for the divorce. And there is the all-too common concern of a believer who may become angry or distant toward God because he wanted God to save his marriage and it ended anyway. There are many reasons a person might decide to turn his back on God after divorce — or even before divorce. If you are coparenting with someone who finds himself frustrated and confused about his beliefs, here are a few suggestions.

Remember the most important impact you have. What your child sees in your daily living will speak louder to him than anything. You cannot control what the other parent believes or what happens related to church when your child is with the other parent. What you can do is be the Christian example you want for your child to become. This does not mean being a perfect person or a perfect parent; it simply means letting your whole life radiate Christ and His love and life lived out through you! Years and years of this example will stand strong as a foundation to the faith being built in your child.

Pray for the other parent. Sincerely and fervently pray for the other parent but do not confuse prayer with control. It is not your job to fix or change the other parent. It was not your job when you were married and it certainly is not your job now. The power of a praying parent can reap invisible but valuable rewards — for your child and for the other parent.

Do not openly criticize the other parent. There is a big difference between criticizing the other parent’s beliefs and having neutral conversation with your child about lifestyles, belief systems, and faith. Always be available to listen to your child’s thoughts and be prepared for these “deep talks” at the most unexpected times. If you badmouth the other parent with hopes of getting your child to “side with” you, it will probably backfire! Not only will he feel the need to protect the other parent and stand up for him, he will likely begin to resent you (silently) and a wedge will build between you and your child.

Be respectful. The words your child hears you speak about the other parent will be life or death to his soul. Choose words of life so your child can live — find other details (besides religion) that you can point out that are good and positive about his other parent and say them aloud to your child.

Find an appropriate support system. Find an outlet to talk to another adult or counselor about these concerns and problems, but do not process these with your child. Be the parent and let him be the kid.

Enlist a leader at your church. Depending on the age of your child, enlist the leader for his age group and have an honest dialogue with that leader about your concerns. Encourage your child to spend time with that leader, outside of regular church activity time, to develop the friendship. Many times the extra outside voices you help cultivate with your child can be the best influence ever! It also can allow your child to have someone objective to bounce ideas off, ask questions, and to talk about the differences they see between his parents’ beliefs without the worry of hurting feelings or making a parent angry.

No matter the other parents’ beliefs, be the example your kids can follow!

Tammy G. Bennett, The Coparenting Coach, is the founder of Christian CoParenting. She and her daughter, Angelia, live in Nashville, Tennessee. For free e-newletters and resources, see www.ChristianCoParenting.com.

Recommended Reading: Spiritually Single Moms: Raising Godly Kids When Dad Doesn’t Believe by Nancy Sebastian Meyer (Navpress, 2007)

One of my favorite burger places opened a new location in our town, and I was super excited. We decided to try it out on Sunday after church ... our first mistake for two reasons:

1. The restaurant had only been open a couple of weeks and apparently everyone had the very same idea we did. It was packed!
2. Sunday lunch is not Jack's best time. He's hungry, exhausted, and ready for a nap. (In case you are wondering why we don't head straight home for this reason, we eat somewhere close to church to ensure Jack gets lunch before falling asleep on the way home.)

When we saw the crowd, we were tempted to turn around and head somewhere else, but I was determined we were going to make it work. I really wanted that burger! The trouble started when we realized there were no available high chairs. We tried just having him sit in a big chair and on our laps with no success. Luckily, by the time our food arrived, a high chair became available. However, by that time, Jack had reached his limit. He began screaming and pointing at random things on the table. I would offer him the things he was pointing at (his drink, a bite of his lunch, etc.), but nothing seemed to help. He just kept screaming and randomly pointing. We tried to calm him down for what seemed like an eternity. (Luckily, it's a very loud restaurant so I'm thinking we didn't disturb those around us too terribly much.) I was getting ready to make a quick exit if necessary. Finally ... in an act of desperation, I offered Jack a french fry! (I know, I know ... a terrible choice ... but like I said ... I was desperate!) That apparently was what he had wanted all along. (Not sure why that didn't occur to me earlier. I guess I was in denial ... only offering him the better choices.)  We were able to speed through the rest of our lunch offering Jack a steady supply of french fries!

So ... what exactly did I take away from this experience? As a parent embarking on this new phase of toddlerhood, I am reminded of how each new phase has its unique challenges but also its many blessings. We may not be able to eat out as often as we used to, but it is amazing to watch Jack as he learns new things every day and is beginning to show so much personality! I'm also amazed at how sacrificies (such as not eating out, being too tired to stay up late, and not getting to sleep in) don't really feel like sacrifices in light of the tremendous blessing that our little man is! It makes me hesitant and excited all at the same time to see what each new phase of Jack's life brings!

What are the challenges and blessings that you are facing in your child's particular phase of development? Share your thoughts with us. 

After much soul searching, we bought our preteen son a cell phone for Christmas. We have put all kinds of limits on its use. He has never taken it to school or to church. In fact, we bought it primarily for him to take with him for any overnight trips when he is away from us. Additionally, we blocked use of the Internet and texting on his phone.

Many parents are worried about cell phone use. Stories abound of teens who have gotten in trouble for sexting, sending sexual messages or photos via cell phone. Recently we received these tips for parents who are worried about cell phone issues such as sexting, bullying, and sexual predators.

1. Learn the lingo. Learn the pre-established acronyms like LOL, TTYL, and BRB.
   
2. Invade their text space. Text your kids constantly so they consider their phone a space where you are present and watching.
   
3. Set “no-text” times and other boundaries. Don’t allow kids to text constantly; they shouldn’t text at the dinner table and a curfew should be set. Clearly set boundaries of what is inappropriate.
   
4. Limit use. Choose a plan that keeps track of how many texts can be sent and received.
   
5. Read text faces. Just like verbal communication, nonverbal cues are important. Text faces help you tell if someone is disturbed or joking.
   
6. Monitor other messaging forums.  Sexting doesn’t start and end with texting. Monitor IMs, e-mails, photos, and other digital forums.

For more about preteens and cell phones, read the 9 to 12 Years Growth Spurt "Can I Have a Cell Phone?" in the January 2010 issue of ParentLife.

 At what age will you buy your preteen or teen a phone?

*Information provided by Predicto Mobile.

Thanks to Jeanne F. for this great photo!

Photos wanted! Send us your funny, cute, or just plain fun pictures for our Fun Friday Photos. Each Friday we will post a new "Fun Friday Photo." E-mail your photo and a suggested caption describing the photo to parentlife@lifeway.com. Visit the blog each Friday to see if your photo was chosen!

1. How often do you visit the blog?
2. How often would you like to see new content on the blog?
3. What kind of content would you like to see on the blog?
4. Is there a guest parent blogger you would like to see us feature?

And don't forget ... by leaving a comment on the blog anytime in the month of January, you are entered for our January giveaway -- a 1-year subscription to ThreeJars.com.

*LifeWay employees are not eligible for this giveaway. Multiple comments do not increase chances of winning.

• Allergies. In general, allergy symptoms are not accompanied by a fever, mucus is clear in color, muscles do not ache, and symptoms occur at the same times each year. Allergies usually can be treated with medication, but if severe, a doctor may order an allergy screening and shots. The chronic mucus from allergies occasionally causes complications such as a sinus or ear infection.
• Common Cold. Most adults get thecommon cold two to five times each year, children even more often. Symptoms such as stuffy nose, sneezing, and sore throat can last as long as nine days. Antibiotics cannot cure the common cold. Antibiotics are only used when a cold turns into a sinus, ear, or other infection or when the sickness is bacterial in nature (such as strep throat), not viral. Ask your doctor what remedies are safest to treat the uncomfortable symptoms of a child’s cold.
• Flu. Influenza, like the common cold, is caused by a virus. It is accompanied by a high fever that lasts three to four days and by strong symptoms such as severe coughing and exhaustion. New antiviral medications taken at the start of symptoms can shorten the flu considerably. Ask your doctor whether getting the annual flu shot is right for your family.

If your child has difficulty breathing; a persistent high fever; severe headache; painful swallowing; deep cough; or thick, colored congestion, seek medical attention. These could indicate a bacterial infection that requires prescription antibiotics.

For lots of helpful, practical ways for preventing illness, be sure not to miss Kristen White's article "Keeping It Clean" in the January 2010 issue of ParentLife.