03.05.10
Leftovers... When a Small Group Gets Smaller
Last night we had lazy leftovers for supper. I hate leftovers on Thursday nights. They exist only because small group members cancelled at the last minute the night before. You’ve had the calls. These calls never last long and some of the reasons for missing are as follows… “My husband is on the road and I’m not feeling well.”, “Gotta work late tonight.” “It’s been a long week and I just need some time to myself.” “I gotta wash my hair.” (Well, the last one isn’t for real but sometimes it feels like the people you’re trying desperately to connect with are dodging you.).
When this happens a range of emotions and thoughts flood through our minds:
- Disappointment… I’m disappointed because I know what God is willing to do when His family gets together.
- Self-Evaluation… I must be the worst small group leader in the world.
- Anger… Do these people really expect us to clean house, prepare a meal, work on a Bible study and then call at the last minute to say they can’t make it?! Would they bail at the last minute if a friend invited them over for supper and a night of Wiii?!
- Comparisons… How would they feel if they did all this work then we decided not to show?
- Coalitions… Maybe I should just ask the people who are consistent to be our group and ask the others to find a group they would be excited about.
- Questions… Could he have made it back from his business trip in time if he’d tried? If she’d taken a couple of aspirin could she have come tonight? Did she have to work late tonight or did she choose to work late so she wouldn’t have to come to group? Don’t we all need some time to ourselves, why not hide in your cave a night other than this one?
After thinking all of these thoughts we might say to ourselves… “I think I’ll just give them leftovers.” Instead of preparing something wonderful, I’ll just give them second best stuff. Supper… peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (and you’ll create them yourselves), no house cleaning (if you’ve got dog hair all over your black pants when you get off the couch stinks for you), prepare a Bible study, not on your life (we can have a discussion without me even thinking about it and if you walk away believing there’s thousand ways to heaven not my problem). In fact, if you end up separated from God it’s your problem. If you’d shown up for last week’s meeting even someone like you might have had a shot for an eternal relationship with God.
A few things to remember:
- Small group members seldom mislead or lie to you. Believe them when they tell you why they can’t make it to the meeting.
- The enemy wants to get into your head and create division in your group and he’ll definitely use situations like these to do it.
- When your group shrinks the opportunity to affect one another grows. The smaller the group the more personal the conversation.
- God may have concluded He wanted a smaller group to gather tonight for a reason only He knows.
- Jesus said, “…where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." (Matthew 18:20)
Great post Rick. The men's group I lead meets at a local Starbucks every Thursday at 5:30 am, and while we've had upwards of 10 to 11 guys on occasion, we typically run around 5 to 6 guys. I admit to having these feelings myself when guys show up late or just not show, but I have learned to stand on your 4th point in particular...that God has a reason for the smaller group that morning. It took awhile to understand that, and once I did, it really freed me in terms of leading and guiding the discussion...