Small Group World

03.08.10

What to do When Capable People Say they Can't Lead a Small Group

I’m psyched! I’m at my alma mater today, Campbellsville University in Campbellsville, Kentucky. One of the professors, Dr. Shane Garrison is becoming one of my heroes. He stuck his neck out and is leading a class for education ministers. The class is focused on small groups. Each student’s primary responsibility… lead a group of their own. Dr. Garrison allowed me to join the students for lunch, hear how their groups are going, and field some questions. I don’t’ know that I helped these young ministerial entrepreneurs but they sure inspired me.

Before I took questions each of the students described their group to me. One of the groups is led by a very anglo kinda kid and his group is made up of three African-American athletes. He thinks they joined the group believing they had to because he was their floor monitor. What they didn’t know when they signed up… he’s not their floor monitor. One young man is leading a group of 50 somethings, men who attend his church. He’s the youth minister there. Another young lady is leading a group of women and they’re peering deeply into John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart, a book written for men. They’ve already tackled Captivating. The list of incredible and atypical groups goes on and on. Every one of those students created a flood of anticipation in me. If these young men and women are the future of small group ministry, the world may have an opportunity to hear about Jesus in the context of a safe community.

One of these students forced me to reconsider when a group is capable of becoming a group. She’s deaf and leads a group of senior adults who are also hearing impaired. Obstacles are invisible to this adventuresome 30 something. When the group couldn’t make gathering together work she found a way for these individuals to go online, get on screen together, and use sign language to communicate with one another.

Too many people see obstacles as the end of possibility rather than viewing an impediment as breakable, moveable, and/or capable of getting around. Small Group Pastor, when someone tells you they can’t lead a group and begin giving you reasons why, pursue the following questions with them.

Is leading a group something you believe God wants and/or made you to do? If the answer is yes then move on to the next question.
What is it that stands in the way of your leading a group? If there are ways you can help the individual to understand how to remove the obstacles do so. If you can remove the obstacles for them do so.
What can I do to make things easier for you? Take notes so they know you mean it and be sure you do the things mentioned if at all possible.
Now that we know it’s possible for you to host a group, why don’t you take a week and pray/think about it? Tell them you’ll call them in a week to see if they are willing to lead a group. Call them on the day you said you would.

Remember, once the person answers the first question you are helping them accomplish something God has for them to do, not forcing them into an expectation of you creation.

A few suggestions:

Don’t push for a commitment. You may get a yes today and wish you hadn’t two months after the group starts meeting.
Realize that this person may not take on a group right now but they may spend the next few months removing the obstacles that keep them from leading a group. The individual may take on a group in the future.
If the individual doesn’t choose to lead a group, thank them for considering group leadership and let them know that you are thrilled that they are involved in group life. Let them know that you’d be thrilled if they’d consider group leadership in the future.

Are there any obstacles that really do keep people from leading a group? For sure… but not if you’re in Dr.Garrison’s class.