04.15.10
Multi-Generational Small Groups: Pros, Cons, and Hurdles to Overcome III
The last few days I’ve communicated some thoughts about multi-generational groups. The last two days I’ve pointed out some awarenesses and telling what the pros and cons are. Today we get practical. Below you’ll find some thoughts concerning how to overcome the obstacles that I mentioned yesterday.
Overcoming the Cons/Hurdles:
· Language barriers… Utilize language understandable to all. When necessary, define for the children what you meant.
· Adults don’t believe they can speak openly with children in the room
1. Subgroup
2. Meet with peers at a time other than the group meeting
· Moms (especially young) need a time to escape parenting responsibilities
1. Consider this schedule for your small group. The first and third week of each month the entire group meets for their regular meeting. The second week of each month the men in the group get together to hang out and they invite a friend who is not yet a follower of Christ. The third week of each month the women in the group get together to hang out and invite a friend who is not yet a follower of Christ. When there is a week five in the month do a cookout or some other relaxed gathering and invite the families of the men and women who spent the evening out with the men the second week of the month or the women the third week of the month.
2. Have the children in the meeting for only part of the meeting time.
· Meetings can be chaotic
1. Make every parent responsible for their own child
2. Have agreed upon expectations of children during the meeting. Each parent is responsible to deal with their child if the child goes beyond the agreed upon boundaries.
3. Embrace the fact, it’s more important for children to be in the room than for the room to be in perfect order
4. Give young children coloring books, etc…
5. When possible, give the children a role to fill, a question to answer, or a responsibility to accomplish
· Discussions must be dumbed down
1. Be willing to do inter-generational for the betterment of the children. Building great Christian kids may need to trump your having a “deep discussion.” By the way… My experience has shown that God sometimes uses children to take the discussion to the deepest levels. Just sayin’…
2. Don’t overlook a child’s ability to learn. Welcome questions and answer them honestly.
3. Remember that the role of the group is secondary to parents in the development of children. Parents may need to explain some things to children after the meeting. The group may be the catalyst for fantastic conversations between children and their parents.
· Teens oftentimes show their disgust with having to be with parents, especially in the rebellious stages
1. Give the teenager room to be silent, to be distant, to be themselves.
2. When possible, give the teen a role that they are willing to fill.
3. Be an encourager to the disgruntled youth.
4. Remind parents (privately) that their teenager doesn’t have to be deeply engaged to be transformed. Seeing adults doing life together will be transforming.
This is hands-down the most challenging thing to do in small group ministry, but it's worth it. I want to encourage anyone reading Rick's blog to work really hard to integrate children into group life.
If you want to do more reading on this topic, Daphne Kirk is an excellent author to read. She has completely changed the way I view children... they do not have a junior Holy Spirit within them and are some of the most powerful ministers I encounter—when they have been shown how to be ministers by their parents and other adults through a biblical community.
Sunday School and/or children's church is not enough. Family devotions is good too, but that's not enough either. We must equip and release our children to be the church of TODAY.
Thanks for the comment Randall. For those of you who don't know Randall, he is one of the leading small group consultants, publishers, and experts. You'd do yourself well to read anything Randall says about small groups.