ARCHIVES
June 2010
06.30.10
Dangerous Like Lyman... Today's Small Group Influencers... Not Dangerous Enough?
I just completed a phone call with a true pioneer, a legend, an adventurer, who changed the way we think about doing groups, Lyman Coleman. Lyman is now 76 years old and one of my heroes.
Lyman still dreams, still sees visions beyond the ordinary, still pushes many of us out of the box. He has never wavered in his commitment to seeing lives changed and he has never been willing to accept the status quo. And in so doing he has made small groups more transformational than informational, more community than meeting, more grace-oriented than legalistic, and more about people than programs. And he is still dangerous. That's right, he's dangerous.
This is the way he describes himself. He describes himself as dangerous. Maybe all of us should embrace this tag… dangerous.
Dangerous means we do what is right, not what is acceptable.
Dangerous means we sacrifice all for the sake of the right cause.
Dangerous means we will not be repressed by others if those organizations or persons keep us from accomplishing God-required Kingdom objectives.
Dangerous means we gather with other dangerous people so that the world might know Jesus and His healing power.
I'm asking myself this afternoon… Am I dangerous enough? The battle between comfortable and dangerous continues. The tension is heavy. Is it possible that God is looking for some of us to become dangerous like Lyman?
06.29.10
Defining a Big Church
This week Claude King and I are with twenty something people from FBC Braymer, Missouri. This incredible church has an average attendance of about 110. But this is a very big church. Let me see if I can give you a few markers for what I'm thinking is a big church (at least my thoughts today).
A big church…
- is made up of real, authentic people who know they are a family, and prove it as they go about accomplishing tasks.
- has a humble pastor. A person who relates as an equal and knows when to put on the leader hat.
- realizes she is the bride of Christ and is preparing for His return by discipling one another.
- has a strong percentage of her membership leading and learning to lead.
- is telling others about Jesus while becoming like Him themselves.
- has major influence in the community where God has placed her. FBC Braymer Missouri has an average attendance of 110 but is located in a community of 900 people.
Bob Russell, retired pastor of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY (a mega mega church) once told me that one of the roles of the local church is to be a conscience for the community. Imagine how much influence a church of 110 has in a community of 900 people.
Rural pastor, you are vital to the Kingdom of God and you probably pastor a very big church.
06.28.10
Questions at all Levels of Intensity... Training Your Small Group Leaders
Questions are the key to life-changing conversations. Questions come at all levels of intensity. Helping new small group leaders understand the levels of intensity that questions demand is important. Below you'll find a one page experience that you can copy and paste for use with your small group leaders. Here's how it works… Bring a deck of cards to your small group leader training experience. Spread them out face up on a table. Ask each attendee to go pick up one card and after getting their card to get in a group with four others. Now give them the information below (This will fit on an 8.5 by 11 piece of paper). Announce to the group that they should answer the question that relates to the card they have in hand. For instance if someone has a 3, 4, or 5 (of any suit) they should answer this question, "When you were a teenager, what celebrity did you want to be like? What qualities did they exhibit you wished you had?" If someone has a King of any suit they should answer the following question, "Of all the people you've known, who do you miss the most? What was your relationship with them?" Throughout the day get the same groups back together (be sure individuals are seated in the same order that they were when they first did the exercise). Have everyone pass the card they have to the left or right or across. This will allow group members to answer various questions without ever leaving the group they started with.
If you have a… 2 ask anyone in your group one of the following questions. They must answer: 3, 4, or 5, answer this question… When you were a teenager, what celebrity did you want to be like? What qualities did they exhibit you wished you had? 6, 7, 8, 9, or 10 answer the following question… What do you like to do that makes you feel like a kid again? Jack… What is the most trouble you got into when you were in high school? What did you do? How did you right the wrong you did? Queen… Ask someone else in the group to determine which of the following celebrities from the TV show American Idol best describes your personality? King… Of all the people you've known, who do you miss the most? What was your relationship with them? Ace… When did you determine you were a person worthy of being loved and respected? What happened that brought you to that determination? OR Who paved the way for you to come to this conclusion? Joker… If you were to send a letter of thanks to the person who has extended the most grace to you, who would that communication be mailed to? What happened that would demand that level of grace?
06.25.10
The Leader's Preparation... Wisdom from Henry and Richard Blackaby
Henry Blackaby and his son Dr. Richard Blackaby wrote the book, Spiritual Leadership, Moving People On To God's Agenda. At the end of each chapter they list concepts from that chapter for consideration. I was very intrigued as I read the list that ended the chapter on The Leader's Preparation. As you read this list, you might want to review your own history, present situation, and ideology of leadership. I think you'll be encouraged and challenged to let God be God and to allow Him to continue to form you into the leader He needs for now and the future.
- The greatness of an organization will be directly proportional to the greatness of its leader.
- Ultimately, leadership is more about "being" than about "doing."
- Any strategy for developing spiritual leaders must take into account those emerging leaders currently in their preteens.
- Most of history's famous leaders have been decidedly ordinary people.
- So many of history's great leaders suffered major failures, crises, and disappointments in their development as leaders that these traumas almost seem prerequisite to leadership success.
- God can use adversity to build certain qualities deep within one's character that could not be fully developed in any other way.
- God seldom intervened when people were about to make mistakes. Rather, he allowed them to fail, but stood ready to redeem them.
- No experience, good or bad, is ever wasted.
- People may apply for various leadership positions, but God is the one who ultimately determines which leadership roles they will have.
- God's assignments are always based on character – the greater the character, the greater the assignment.
06.24.10
Pocket Guides... Quick Reads for Small Group Leaders and Coaches
We all want our small group leaders to read books. You know the drill. You've read a great book on small group leadership and you want every one of your small group leaders (or coaches) to discover what you have unearthed. You want them to care enough to make the purchase, read the book, and utilize the information, the principles and practices found in that book. The truth… You want them to grasp four or five key principles. The other truth… They don't have time and probably don't want to read a 210 pager.
Randall Neighbour and Touch Outreach Ministries has created a series of pocket guides, tiny books that will literally fit in your small group leader's pocket. I know of six pocket guide topics that are available (there may be more):
- Community Life 101, Getting the Most Out of Your Small Group Experience
- The Answer Book for Small Group Leaders
- Coaching Small Groups, Befriending Leaders and Helping Groups Produce Fruit
- Burnout-Free Small Group Leadership, How to Gather a Core Team and Lead from the Second Chair
- 303 Ice Breakers
- The Pocket Guide to Leading a Small Group
These are better than Cliff Notes. They are conversational while unveiling key principles and practices needed by your small group team. They're also cheap.
By the way, each of these can be read in completion in about thirty minutes.
These are resources you might want to seriously consider handing out to your small group leaders and coaches.
06.23.10
How to Get and Keep Men in Small Groups, Six Necessities
Some men just don’t like small groups. I can’t blame them. Those of us who write about and train people to lead groups are guilty of asking a group leader to create an environment that would drive a man’s man to clean the house before attending a small group meeting. A few suggestions:
1. When listing the goals of a small group never use the term “intimacy.” This will make most men cringe. It will make a man’s man run.
2. When working on a group covenant together, make certain the men in the group are engaged in the conversation. They may remain silent. Their silence may mean that they are hearing the conversation but they aren’t necessarily committing to the covenant. They need ownership of the covenant in order to commit to it. They will only sense ownership if they are given the right to push back and find some give when they do.
3. Give the men in the group more time than the females in the group to begin revealing who they really are. Men are apt to talk in facts and clichés for a long period of time before ever giving an opinion about a biblical passage or unveiling what’s going on in their personal lives. Don’t rush it. If you want to speed up the process subgroup into two groups, a men’s subgroup and a women’s subgroup. Men are more open to talking about their life situations, struggles, and sins when women aren’t listening in.
4. When deciding on social experiences suggest things the men in the group get excited about. Go camping, fishing, hunting, paintballing, to a ballgame, etc… When a group leader suggests experiences like these the men in the group subconsciously recognize this group is going to work for them.
5. Take pleasure in sarcasm and laughter. We men are notorious for turning a meeting into a brawl, a weekly reenactment of the film Animal House. We love to harass one another and laugh at one another. Don’t let this get out of hand but don’t demand the environment of a wake either. If you give men freedom to laugh and tease early in the meeting they will seldom be angry or disappointed if you ask them to calm it down during the Bible study and prayer times.
6. Unless everyone is in agreement, don’t demand homework from group members or that they read a book. Very few men are readers and even fewer are willing to do homework. This may be possible in time but not as the group first starts meeting together.
06.22.10
LBS the Movie
I was in Washington, D.C. The afternoon was free of meetings and I had seen all of the sites I cared to visit. While walking to my parked car I noticed a small movie theater. Little did I know that my peering through the window to see what was showing would entice me to view one of the most revealing movies I have ever seen.
The marquee had multiple titles but one Indie movie caught my attention. The title simply read… LBS. Being a person who has battled obesity most of my adult life I had to see this film. To this day I cannot figure out why this film isn't showing in major theaters nationwide.
Addiction is rampant and food addiction is an epidemic in the United States. This story, the story of an adult obese man who wrestles with his own identity, his family's perspective of him, and his longing to be loved is the story of so many people today. His real battle… food addiction.
I have never viewed a film that will be more important to those of you who work with Celebrate Recovery groups or Picking Up the Pieces ministries. If you are a counselor, you need to see this film. And if you are like me and wake up every Monday with a longing to start a diet, find a way to see this film. But most of all, if you are the family member of an addict, any kind of addict find and view this movie. You will, maybe for the very first time, understand why addicts can't follow your direction when you tell them, "Just quit."
Pauline S. Sanders MD, the President of the National Eating Disorders Association says of this film, "Lbs. is an outstanding movie that illustrates the struggles faced by people with eating disorders and obesity."
This is by no means a Christian film. This is not a film for kids and the themes sometimes teeter toward adult. Please know that the language is rough.
If you want more info go to http://www.lbsthemovie.com/
06.22.10
Eight Small Group Leader Got-To's
One… Got to… “'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27b
Two… Got to… Empathize with your small group members. John 11:35
Three… Got to… Mentor a future leader. 2 Timothy 2:2
Four… Got to… Protect your small group members from false teaching. Titus 1:9
Five… Got to… Model prayer. Luke 11:1 - 4
Six… Got to… Be willing to give up all for the cause of Christ. Luke 14:26
Seven… Got to… Be a witness of the gospel of Christ. Acts 1:8
Eight… Got to… “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” Col. 3:16
06.21.10
God's Healing for Life's Losses... Use it to Train Your Leaders
Blindsided, Ambushed, Amazed, Inspired… the list could go on and on. When Robert W. Kellemen, Ph.D. contacted me asking if I'd be willing to read God's Healing for Life's Losses, How to Find Hope When You're Hurting, and be part of his blog tour, I was honored but saw little opportunity to aid the small group community. That is, until I had finished reading this amazing manuscript. This treasure of only 110 short pages (and that includes multiple pages filled with questions for personal reflection) is a perfect tool for dealing with personal loss as well as the training of small group leaders.
Dr. Kellemen does a superb job explaining what grief is, the stages of grief, the importance of journeying into the pain of grief and the power of allowing God to join you on the journey. Simply reading the chapter titles captivated and motivated me so intently I could not put this book down. Consider them… The Way of Suffering, Candor: Blessed Are Those Who Mourn, Complaint: A Lament for Your Loss, Cry: I Surrender All, Comfort: God Comes, Waiting: When God Says "Not Yet", Wailing: Pregnant With Hope, Weaving: Spiritual Mathematics, and Worshiping: Finding God.
Throughout this incredible read Dr. Kellemen quotes church fathers and church leaders, all who were forced into her/his own dark night of the soul. He does this without losing biblical integrity and forcing us to remember that grief is normal and natural. When I finished the book I was reminded that the grief process is more than a series of stages, it is a spiritual discipline that drives us to the hope found in Jesus alone.
When Bob was asked how the grieving person would benefit from reading God's Healing for Life's Losses his response revealed his own heart. Check it out…
I weave throughout each chapter three stories: my story of facing the death of my father, a ministry couple's story of facing an unjust ministry termination, and biblical narratives of suffering people in the Scriptures. These combine to "normalize" the grief and growth process so readers understand that while their path is unique, it is not at all abnormal.
The "eight stage model" in God's Healing for Life's Losses helps readers to travel down the grief and growth path. We live in a fallen world and it often falls on us. When it does, when the weight of the world crushes us, squeezes the life out of us, we need hope. New life. A resuscitated heart. A resurrected life with resurrected hope. God's healing path is a personal journey. God's Healing for Life's Losses uses God's Word as the sufferers GPS: God's Positioning System. It traces God's pathway through grief to growth so that readers learn how to face their suffering face-to-face with God.
Written in "gift book" format for the person facing suffering, God's Healing for Life's Losses includes two built-in application/discussion guides (including a journal section). This makes it perfect for individual or group use. Persons suffering any type of life loss (job loss, illness, divorce, church conflict, the empty nest, death of a loved one) will benefit from the real-life wisdom they discover in God's Healing for Life's Losses.
Small group pastor… I would suggest you get copies of this book and spend ten weeks with your small group leaders. Have them read one chapter per week, do the journaling as requested, and come together to discuss what they are experiencing. Some of your group leaders will finally deal with past hurt that they have chosen to deny. The rest will learn the stages and phases of grief. They will be prepared to help their group members find hope, help, and healing when grief invades his/her space.
Get this book, read it yourself, and then use it to equip your leaders.
One last word… Dr. Kellemen will randomly select a dozen people who respond to the blog posts. They will receive a complimentary copy of the book. So let us know what you think.
06.18.10
Suggestions for Helping the Overly-Talkative Small Group Member
Principles to Remember:
- You are not disciplining this individual you are redirecting his/her actions
- Your guidance in this area will help this individual not only in group, but in all of life
- This situation should be discussed with no one other than the overly talkative individual
- Speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15)
A few ideas:
- Establish early in group life that you are anticipating an environment where everyone has the opportunity to share at meaningful levels.
- Be certain that the “Participation” aspect of group life is part of the group covenant. It should state something along these lines, “Everyone participates and no one dominates.” Establishing this expectation gives the group leader the right to redirect the overly talkative individual.
- When necessary, remind the entire group that, if everyone is not able to share thoughts and ideas, it is not a life-transforming group experience.
- Speak with the overly talkative individual away from the meeting. Let them know you value their input, that they are important to the group, and that they can strengthen the group by speaking less, allowing the less aggressive individuals to share more.
- Many times the overly talkative individual speaks up because the group remains silent following a question asked. They’re filling the silence gap to help the small group leader. Let them know that the times of silence are important and that others in the group will speak up if he/she doesn’t. Let them know they can be a greater help if they will not fill the silent spaces.
- If necessary, during some meetings make the following a requirement… No one speaks a second time until everyone else who wants to speak has spoken once.
06.17.10
Bill Donahue Interview III... Bill's Future
Over the last few years we've lost some very influential voices in the small group space. My first thought when I heard Bill was leaving Willow Creek was that we were going to lose yet another important influencer. The kingdom and movement needs Bill Donahue. I think you'll be thrilled with what you read below.
Rick: Bill, many of us have been deeply affected by your ministry, training, and writings. We're hoping you're going to continue to help churches. What are your plans for the future?
Bill: I continue to want to do the same things that I've been doing at Willow Creek. That is coaching leaders of groups and of churches, consulting with organizations, mostly churches, and speaking and writing about biblical community and leadership development. So many of the functions I was doing will continue, but I'm gonna do that more through a combination of partnerships with organizations that share those values and with some personal stuff that I'm building. People can see what I'm doing by going to drbilldonahue.com. But yeah, I'm not changing a whole lot. I'd like to devote more time to writing and clarifying what I've been learning over the years and getting that out there.
Rick: And will you be working with individual churches too, Bill, not just larger organizations?
Bill: Yes. I will be continuing to coach churches and, church leaders and am going to be available to consult with churches, church leaders, and continuing to foster and build group life across the church in North America and around the world. I've got a thing I'm doing with Henry Cloud in Germany in October and, I've been asked to do something in April in Sweden and also in South Africa.
Rick: Bill, is your only focus of attention small groups, or what other aspects of ministry are you available to help churches with?
Bill: Yeah. I think my areas of expertise and focus are leadership development, strategic ministry alignment around church-wide goals and what the church is trying to achieve, and thirdly around building infrastructure to support the practice of community in the church.
Small groups, teams, missional communities—you know, it's not just groups.
Rick: So you could do team building experiences and training for management level executive staff on how to build teams, that kind of thing?
Bill: Yeah, uh-huh, yeah.
Rick: Just one more time, Bill, how can churches and other organizations find out more about your work?
Bill: The best way to go about it is by going to drbilldonahue.com, and that actually articulates services and support I provide to ministry and non-profit organizations as well as some corporate leaders and organizations. They can also go to my blog site for regular updates and all that.
06.16.10
Bill Donahue Interview II... Leadership and Small Groups
Bill Donahue has been serving at one of the premiere churches in the country. Willow Creek Community Church has been passionate about equipping and empowering leaders for decades. It was for this reason that I was thrilled to discuss Bill's takeaways concerning leadership. His perspectives may change the way you think about leadership.
Rick: Bill, I'm gonna turn the conversation toward leadership now. I think for a lot of people you represent not only one of the best in the small group space, but because of Willow's focus on leadership and your being there with Bill Hybels and all that team and all you guys did in leadership you really are a great representative for a lot of us as a person who represents leadership as well as small groups. This series of questions heads down that path. Leadership is a major focus at Willow. What are the three most important things you learned about leadership every small group pastor needs to know, understand, and embrace?
Bill: Well, there's a number of things. One would be I think shared leadership is essential but challenging. I think the idea that you're at the top of the pyramid and it's just you, that doesn't work for community leadership. Team leading is the way to go because it models what you're asking others to do. I think the other thing is always speak current reality to people. The first job they say of a leader is to name reality. I think that's absolutely essential. I learned that over the years, and we had different people in different roles, sometimes not really acknowledging reality. They were in denial of the reality of where we were at the time. You just have to be honest and name that at all times. So, yeah, just name reality.
And clarity, I think being very clear about what it is you're trying to do. I've gotta go with Andy Stanley here. Clarity is more important than certainty. You may not be able to be certain, but you need to be clear what it is you're asking people to do, what roles are they playing, and that has to be communicated regularly, and it has to be communicated in a way that is winsome and invites people in. So it's clear vision, clear strategy, clear values of what we believe and why we do this and communicating that regularly. Those are some of the biggest things I learned at least.
Rick: Bill, what leadership call did you make that looking over your shoulder you realize slowed down the goals you had in mind?
Bill: It was never like I made a call. You know, it was such a team thing.
I think the move to, the move to geographic—more specifically the move to neighborhood strategy without a support structure of leaders and leader development was a huge mistake. I would say that very clearly. You cannot have a neighborhood ministry without a strong support system behind it so that the organic place-based community experiences you're looking for are supported by an infrastructure. You can't just create experiences for people to have. It needs leaders, it needs clear direction, it needs integration throughout the church, and I think we went ahead and embraced some values and some practices without the commensurate support structure and leader development that was required around it. So that's why that, that didn't bode well for us. So I would—if I could roll the tape back I would definitely have changed that.
Rick: Bill, how would you suggest a team process something that didn't work so that they get meaningful takeaways? How did your teams go about doing that?
Bill: Well, I think first you collect honest data. You talk to the people that led it, and you talk to the people who experienced it. You have to go to the grassroots and find out how did this really work? And again, you can't just rely on vision hype. This is one of the things I had in a blog I did recently about leadership that kills community. A leader shouldn't get all caught up in their vision, and miss seeing reality. You have to really peel the layers off the onion and look at reality. What is really happening? How are groups really working? How are leaders really feeling about their role, their impact in other's lives? Is coaching working, and if so, where; and if not, where and why not? You know, how are we really talking about this? So real, clear, honest data is the first thing. They go back and look at what happened, what really happened. Not what did we think happened. And then try to figure out why. Then… each leader needs to own their role in that. You know, where did I contribute to the problem or the oversight or the mistake? In some cases maybe there's no ownership. It's just, you know, it's a fallen world, you try something, and it fails. You've just got to name it. But it's—I have to take responsibility ultimately for it, and so I think each person needs to say, "Ok, here's where my responsibility is in that," and put that on the table.
And then I think you've gotta get past all that and say, "Ok, let's get on the solution side. In light of this reality, where do we wanna go, and how do we get there? What needs to change? Do we need to change players? Do we need to change philosophy? Do we need to change strategy? Do we need to change the process we're going about here? Maybe the way we're making decisions isn't working. Do we need buy-in from senior leaders? You know, what was broken, and then what needs attention, and go from there.
06.15.10
Bill Donahue Interview I, Small Group Models
Bill Donahue announced his exit from full-time staff at Willow Creek Community Church a few month ago. Having learned much from him and his journey while at Willow I knew there was much to learn from his years there. Bill was gracious and allowed me to do an interview with him. Check out his candid responses to a few questions. Be wise and read between the lines. There's much to be learned.
Rick: Bill, many of us were surprised to hear you were leaving Willow Creek. How many years were you on staff there?
Bill: Eighteen.
Rick: And how many of those years were you responsible for small groups?
Bill: I was never the ultimate guy responsible. It was mostly team led. I was responsible for leader development almost the entire time I was there. I was on a team of people that led the small group ministry. And that included all kinds of people. I mean, I was there 18 years. I probably worked with a dozen people who had a role at some senior level around it, either on the management team or, you know, like Ray Hawkins handled systems for a while, while I was doing leader development, and Brett Eastman was doing some work with the staff. We each took a chunk of what was needed, and we owned it. So, you know, it was kind of a co-leader model.
Rick: What would you say were some of the most significant things you and your small group team accomplished during your Willow Creek years?
Bill: Well, I think a number of things. First of all, we took a value that was a part of the church and watched it get embraced by the entire church. Group life and community life has become an embedded practice and value at Willow. Our last Reveal—internal Reveal survey—indicated that almost 70 percent of the adults at Willow are connected to some kind of group for spiritual growth and relationship and formation. That's a huge, you know, that level of participation, and that's been ongoing.
Second thing is I think we created an environment for leaders to grow and develop at all stages. Small group leaders… certainly this area of coaching allowed people to take on increased responsibility and leadership in the church, honoring the priesthood of believers. I think we saw the integration of group life and community life with spiritual formation, seeing it as a vital component, not an add on, not an adjunct thing, that spiritual formation takes place in the context of community—not exclusively, but you can't have full formation without it.
Another big thing was the small group conferences. We were able to create a movement by God's grace that allowed us to touch other churches and to learn from other churches and to create platforms where not only we could tell our story, but other churches could tell their story about small group life and how to build it. We created an advanced training vehicle that allowed us to equip point leaders across the country and provide them with resources to build group life and create quality groups. So resource creation was really important, the network of point leaders; yeah, a lot of fun stuff happened there.
Rick: Bill, there are at least seven models for doing groups. Which one did you guys utilize at Willow Creek?
Bill: Well, we began with a very focused discipleship model. Right before I came that's what we were doing. As I arrived we began to transition through a modified Carl George MetaChurch model, using most of the components of the structure and philosophy that he had outlined. And most of that was carried through to about the year 2000. After 2000 we began to look at sort of expanding that model by incorporating geography into the model. We did that on our own for a while. Then Randy Frazee came and helped us think more specifically about the neighborhood component of that geography and what that could do. So I guess the model that we had for the longest period of time that really grew the ministry was sort of a modified MetaChurch model.
Rick: Why did you choose that particular model?
Bill: I wasn't responsible for choosing it initially. Jim Dethmer, who was a sort-of partner with Carl George, he and Carl George worked on this together. Jim's church, the Grace Community Church in Baltimore, was kind of a pilot church for Carl, and that's where Jim was pastor. So they were doing that and had that kind of up and going when Jim came to Willow to be a teaching pastor. Jim brought that philosophy to Willow and hired me to help build that. I was also doing that same philosophy at Fellowship Bible Church in the Park Cities—what is now Fellowship Bible Church Dallas. I was doing that at the same time, and so Jim Dethmer said, "Hey, you're doing this model. We're trying to bring this to Willow. Would you be interested in coming?"
But I would say it was chosen primarily because it had a clear structure and roles for people to play in leadership. It had the idea of integrating group life throughout the entire church. It had an apprentice model for leadership development, which appealed to us and the duplication of that. It had a strategy for multiplying groups, and it incorporated a variety of—this was real important to us—a variety of kinds of groups into one cohesive model so that we had not just, you know, discipleship groups. We had serving teams, and small groups, and recovery groups in a variety of different shapes and sizes all integrated into a coherent strategy. We felt that that model did the best job at that time of bringing it all together. And frankly there weren't many models to choose from at the time. There might be seven or eight or—actually I think there's more now, but back then it was pretty much a cell group approach or the Meta approach, and that was pretty much it.
Rick: Ok. If you were going to Willow Creek right now and you could independently make the decision what model would use with the way the world has changed, with the way people think differently than they did then? You think you'd choose the same model?
Bill: Well, I would probably modify it. There were components of the structure that served us well. I think it gave clear leadership relationships and clearly outlined people's roles and responsibilities. I think that clarity is essential regardless of model. However, the incorporation of the geographical component and the idea of making the groups increasingly missional and outward focused, certainly not exclusively, but more outward focused, those things that have become more of a deal in recent years, they would be more of the model if I could wave a wand today.
By the way… Don't miss Bill with Steve Gladen. They will be together webinaring tomorrow. For information go to http://www.ccn.tv/grouplife/
06.14.10
Small Group Childcare... Three Options... Pros and Cons
The question I'm asked most often is, "How should a small group handle childcare?" I hope the information below will help you conclude the best option for your group.
Option 1: All small groups of a given church meet at the same time. Childcare is provided by the church at the church building
· Pros
o Small groups don’t have the added responsibility of dealing with childcare issues.
o The children are in a welcoming, known environment
o The building is already child safe and child friendly
o The resources necessary for experiences for children have already been purchased and are available to childcare workers
· Cons
o Childcare workers cannot be part of a small group
o The local church must pay for childcare workers
o Small group meetings must end on time. No matter what God is doing in the group meeting, the childcare workers will be anticipating the children being picked up at the specified time.
o A church staff member or volunteer will be responsible for organizing another major experience for children weekly.
Option 2: The children are in the same home where the small group is meeting. They are with paid childcare workers in another room of the house.
· Pros
o Nervous parents know their children can be reached in a matter of seconds
o Parents feel more confident that their child is safe if they are in the same building with their children.
o There is no need to “drop the kids off” on the way to the meeting since the entire family is going to the same place.
o The group bonds as they partner together to pay for childcare.
· Cons
o There will be ongoing interruptions to the group meeting.
o The small group will be responsible for paying the childcare workers.
o Someone in the group must enlist and oversee childcare workers
o Parents are hesitant to speak about personal issues as they believe their children may overhear the conversation.
o The sound of children playing will be heard by the group during the meeting.
· Alternatives concerning who will watch the children during the small group meeting
o Partner with another small group. Take turns watching one another’s children during meetings
o Group members take turn doing childcare during the small group meeting
o Hire a couple of people to take care of children during the meeting
Option 3: Childcare is taking place in a home other than the one the small group is meeting in. This home should be no more than a three minute drive from the home where the small group is meeting.
· Pros
o Children will not interrupt the meeting.
o Parents can stay completely focused on the small group experience
o Parents are more comfortable talking about personal problems since they are not concerned their children might overhear the conversation
o Parents, especially stay at home parents, feel as though the group meeting are getting a break from the overwhelming responsibility of parenting
o The group bonds as they partner together to pay for childcare.
· Cons
o Some parents will not be comfortable in the group meeting unless their children are in the same building where the group is meeting
o The small group is responsible for payment of childcare workers
o Someone in the group must enlist and oversee childcare workers
o At least one cell phone must be left on in case there is an emergency situation with one of the children
· Options concerning who will watch the children during the small group meeting
o Partner with another small group. Take turns watching one another’s children during meetings
o Group members take turn doing childcare during the small group meeting
o Hire a couple of people to take care of children during the meeting
Check with your church leadership to find out what background checks need to be completed before selecting childcare workers.
06.11.10
The Naked Truth about Small Group Evangelism
I learn much from many small group leaders, pastors, and experts. One man not only teaches me, he stretches me. He doesn't allow me to remain in my comfortable stereotypes. He demands an accounting and expects a response to his hard questions based on more than my opinions or some author I've read. Every minister needs someone like this in their lives. His name… Randall Neighbour.
Randall has written a book that each of us should spend some time in, "The Naked Truth about Small Groups." One of Randall's accurate assumptions is that small group members who are followers of Christ should speak of their journey with Jesus to unbelievers. He writes…
"If you and I became friends, we'd probably share areas of spiritual weakness, what we think God is saying to us, and what we're hoping God will do in us and through us in our work, families, and relationships. This is what healthy Christian friends do with one another. We talk about our faith and our struggles with our faith.
However, when Christians spend time with unchurched friends, many do not share matters of spiritual importance. They are confident the unbeliever will not understand, and they'd be right! But there's incredible power to be a witness for Christ when a believer speaks to his or her unbelieving friends in the manner used when interacting with Christian friends.
I've had numerous unchurched friends turn to me and say, "You know, I can tell you really love God and I can see he really loves you. I don't have that with God." If I had not shared what I wanted God to do in my life to be more Christ-like and what I was leaning on him to do as my Master, they would think I'm no different than anyone else. Sharing with my unchurched friends in the same way I share with my fellow small group members builds a contrast for the unbeliever that is genuine and attractive.
I couldn't agree more. If we have a relationship with someone, we talk about them in everyday conversation. Our not-yet-follower-of-Christ friends want to meet those we talk about and they want to get to know them. No canned speeches necessary, no list of acronyms to be introduced, no inventory of laws to be proclaimed. Long before we can tell our pre-Christian friends how to cross the line to faith we must first let them see through our conversations with them that Jesus is more than a concept, more than a principle, more than an debatable historical figure. They must first know that Jesus is our friend, our Lord, our Master and the Creator of the Universe. When they realize through our unveiling of His place in our lives that He is the ultimate friend, Lord, Master and Creator then they will be able to realize that He is the Giver of Life… eternal.
06.09.10
Saddle Creek Small Groups... Donahue and Gladen Together
For those of us who got into the small group space any time within the last 20 years, we learned much of what we know from Saddleback Church and Willow Creek Community Church. That is, we learned much about leading small group ministries from Steve Gladen at Saddleback and Bill Donahue at Willow Creek. For years we longed to see Steve and Bill together, to gain insights from the leading churches doing small groups. This is one of the reasons I invited both of them to join us for The Summit, A Convergence of Small Group Experts. Having them together with the other giants in this era of small group ministry was fantastic.
We now have the opportunity to hear from the two of them unobstructed by a host. On Wednesday, June 16 – 1 ET / 12 CT / 11 MT / 10 PT Bill and Steve will be sharing the spotlight leading a webinar that we can all be part of. Below you'll find a short description of the event.
Join Bill Donahue and Steve Gladen for a free small group training webinar. Bill and Steve will present a content-packed hour of training for small group leaders. They will discuss "Leveraging Mid-Sized Groups to Build Community". Medium-sized groups in churches of all sizes, often become an end point – a final destination for church attendees as opposed to a bridge to community. Learn from Bill Donahue and Steve Gladen's experience on staff at two mega churches and consulting with hundreds of churches around the world. Discover strategies and tactics that will help mid-size groups catalyze growth in your small group ministry and get answers to your current challenges. For more information and to register go to http://www.ccn.tv/grouplife/ We won't be disappointed.
06.08.10
Renovation, Perversion, the iPhone4, and Small Groups
Steve Jobs unveiled the new iPhone4 yesterday. Compared to the generation1 iPhone this thing is amazing. One thing I noticed though… the iPhone hasn't lost her primary identity, the playing of music and the making of and receiving of phone calls. Her primary identity is still central.
I'm not certain this is true of the small group movement. It seems that the small group movement may have lost her identity. Over time variations on the theme seem to have perverted her definition (if it's possible to identify an agreed upon definition), how she functions, and maybe even costs her her identity.
Most small group aficionados would agree on the following principles and practices:
- Small groups are just that, small, 4 to 12 people and groups that are larger than that subgroup so that people are strategically relating in a group of 4 to 12
- Small groups are more than bible studies, they are people becoming a community for the purpose of being transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ
- In order to become a community, the primary focus is relationship, not curriculum (although choosing right curriculum to meet the needs of a given community is important)
- A group of people must do life together over an elongated period of time (longer than the life of a given study or resource) if they are going to become a community
- Because a small group has become a community, the innate conversational barriers have come down so group members tell one another to pray for them as they struggle with difficult people, sins that hold them captive, and life situations they cannot handle alone
- Small group members unveil their stories. That is their history of broken relationships that continue to haunt and pervert their perception of God and themselves, misdiagnosed perspectives on God and where He was when they needed Him most (but He seemed to make Himself unavailable), etc… That is, experiences that have created hardened hearts. Small groups work in tandem with God to bring healing and wholeness (Isaiah 61: 1 – 2)
- A Christian community is on mission through multiplication of the group, sending a group member off to start a new group, and/or carrying out missional responsibilities together
Renovators never mean to be Perverters. Those of us who are natural Renovators are always looking for what's next or long to do something outside the box. Some are purposeful Perverters (although I don't honestly believe they mean to negatively affect the movement). They long to be known, published, etc… so they reveal new ideas and methods and sometimes gain a following. And some Perverters are forced into perverted ways because their primary goal of the group ministry they lead is not transformation. They may be forced by senior pastor or elder expectations to make their groups about assimilation or the delivery of information. And starting with the wrong goal in mind almost always forces leaders down paths that take them into ineffective principles and practices.
Renovation of anything is, in most instances, very positive. Renovation allows a ministry to go places she's never gone before to accomplish things she would have never accomplished had she remained the same. I do wonder though… when does renovation cross the line and become perversion?
Do you think some of the present small group approaches have become perversions? Would love to get your opinion…
06.07.10
Groups... Title Confusion... What is a Cell Group/Church?
Small Group, Cell Group, Life Group, Community Group, Transformation Group, House Church, Discipleship Group, Support Group, etc…, etc…, etc.. ad nausea… When discussing groups be very careful. The title may mislead.
One of the geniuses of the small group movement is her organic flexibility. No one planned that the movement escape the rigidity some other group movements have embraced. If they had she would no longer be organic.
One of the outcomes of this elasticity is the movement's ability to stretch terminologies. The many terms that make up the first paragraph of this post are simply a sampling of terms I've heard describing a stereotypical open small group. As you can see, churches are reaching out and taking hold of (or creating their own) terms that may or may not be the true definition (or activity) of a particular group system. I have no problem with that. When consulting that church or doing training in that church I simply need to remember to have them define the term for me and tell me how these groups are functioning. Terminology isn't nearly as important as what Christ is doing in those groups.
I have noted that, because a cell church is quite different that most small group systems, it would be best for the Kingdom if we didn't misuse the term "cell group."
I have multiple heroes who are making a huge difference in the cell church movement. If you've been around me long you know that I consider Randall Neighbour a friend and cell church hero. He joined us for the free on-line event, The Summit, a Convergence of Small Group Experts. Another of my favorite cell church guys is Joel Comiskey. Believe me, I wanted Joel to join the panel. He was unable to be with us as he was in Africa working with some cell churches.
Joel has just posted a blog that will be very helpful to all of us in understanding cell groups. In this one blog post Joel gives us links with the following titles, "The Church That Multiplies," "cell driven church," "cell churches," "quality definition," and "what is a cell group?".
Below you'll find an excerpt from that blog. To see the short one page post and then connect with the links I mentioned go to http://joelcomiskeygroup.com/blog_2/2010/06/06/holistic-cells/ The cell is the church. It's not just an extension or program of the traditional Sunday gathering. When I do announcements at Wellspring, the church I started out here in Moreno Valley, I often say, "if you have to choose between attending the cell or the Sunday celebration, don't miss the cell." People still find it hard to remember that the cell is the church. They naturally see the Sunday gathering as the "true church," and I want to remind them that both the cell and the celebration are the church. In fact, the celebration service is the gathering of those cells together.
06.04.10
Getting Back to the Early Church, Small Groups as They Were Meant to Be
Dr. Thom Rainer and Ed Stetzer's new book, Transformational Church includes a chapter on groups. They make some telling statements. Check it out:
The first church was truly organic. No seminars, no coaches, no consultants, but there seemed to be an intentional embrace of life after conversion both in corporate gatherings and smaller groups. They lived a vibrancy of community.
Smaller groups were the lifeblood of the early church. Because life is an everyday occurrence, church should be as well. But in the North American church, we have shifted from the New Testament, relationship-driven community to a stage-driven community. The larger group, although vehemently defended by us in the previous chapter, does not function well as a stand-alone application of Christianity. How do we get back to the point where small communities matter?
I have a few ideas and would love for you to share yours.
- Need the support of other believers. The early church was made up of persecuted people who needed the encouragement and connection with other suffering saints. When we speak the name of Christ and follow His directives in all matters persecution (although it well be more psychological than physical) will occur. We'll need the support of other radical Jesus followers.
- Make small community gatherings as important as the weekend gathering. Senior pastors can greatly enhance small groups by strategically stating that small group gatherings are the practices through which most of the disciples journey is lived out and how maturity in Christ is experienced. Lifting high small groups does not diminish the importance of the pulpit but it will enhance the power of the pulpit as small group members growing in Christ will yearn for more and more knowledge of His Word.
- Empower small group leaders to be shepherds of the group they lead, not just Bible study leaders. In the early church there was no distinction between clergy and laity. Everyone was simply a follower of Christ journeying together. Some were gifted by God to shepherd others and they did so without being paid and without degrees from higher schools of learning. If you want to see small groups regain Acts experiences and expressions, empower your small group leaders to be pastors/shepherds to their own small congregation of about 12 people.
06.03.10
How's Your Staff Team Doing?
It's 9:04 p.m. in Detroit. I'm seated in the airport waiting for a flight to Nashville. It's been an incredible day. I spent the day with Dr. Bob MacKay and his staff at Trinity Baptist Church in Mentor, Ohio.
When the leadership of any given church is together, it's easy to recognize whether or not there is trust and acceptance and unity. Laughter resonates through the room, light-hearted jabs are launched from person to person, when one speaks all listen, and it seems everyone sincerely cares for and respects everyone else. There is no eye-rolling, downgrading of another's perspective, or old hurts rehashed. The team at Trinity certainly is a very special team.
Church leaders… If there is dissension between church leaders don't be surprised if there's dissension between church members. If there's unresolved conflict between church leaders don't be surprised if church members consider that permission to have unresolved conflict between each other. If there's lack of respect between church leaders don't be shocked if you see church members disrespecting one another through gossip and outright disregard for kindness and goodness.
I'm wondering… How's your staff team doing?
Remember this… As goes your staff, so goes your church.
06.02.10
Programs Don't Make Disciples, They Tempt Consumers to Keep Coming Back Though
If you’ve spent any time with me at all you know that I believe many people who are the church have been duped. They have been drawn to church by programs and involved themselves in the programs of the church only to experience emptiness. But they keep coming back because the programs that they want for themselves and their children are intact. They never become mature disciples, they don’t have significant spiritual growth, and they always see the church as responsible to serve them rather than realizing they are responsible to serve the Kingdom of God. In just a few days Dr. Thom Rainer and Dr. Ed Stetzer’s new book, Transformational Church will be released. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to dive headlong into this game changer (I do believe it’s going to change the way a massive number of churches view and do church.). I just had to give you a preview. Why? Probably because two guys much smarter than me have concluded through a massive amount of study and research that programs miss the mark. The italicized paragraphs below come from Transformational Church.
What do relationally intentional environments look like? What principles are transportable regardless of size, location, and denomination?
1. Relationally intentional environments produce family.
2. Relationally intentional environments practice on-on-one relationships.
Larger and smaller gatherings will never provide all that is needed for real transformation. What the larger groups begin through teaching, worship, and encouragement is completed by God in individual conversations.
One important place that “one size fits all” does not work is discipleship. If we insist on all our discipleship being in large groups only, then we are going to miss the majority of our audience. Relational and intentional includes small-group and informal relationships.
3. Relationally intentional environments provide space for difficult people.
4. Relationally intentional environments do have systems and processes.
Systems and processes make relationships intentional in a local church. Relationships are not program driven. Programs can be relationship driven, however, and should be. Relationships are people driven. We don’t want to replace natural relationships with programs, but we can champion relationship through them.
Yet program abuse by local churches is common. To avoid it, TCs make sure their programs fuel their God-given purposes, and they don’t allow programs to replace relationships. When programs replace relationships they become safe, dead, religious activity.
06.01.10
Hot (and Successful) Experiences for Sunday School Classes and Small Groups this Summer
Building meaningful relationships with one another is vital to the health of a Sunday School class or small group. And substantial relationships can only happen if we involve our members in more than just Bible studies. Getting to know one another really demands our seeing one another in various settings and situations. Doing Bible studies make us a class. Building memories creates families.
If you're a Sunday School teacher you realize the importance of building relationships through recreational activities. If you're a small group leader you realize that some small groups take a break in the summer, others make sure they are on mission, still more groups use the summer to build deeper relationships with one another and those who don't yet have a friendship with Jesus. No matter what your group is up to this summer you may want some ideas, things a group can do together and invite not yet followers of Jesus to join you in. Below are some options for your group during these sunny summer days and nights.
Outdoor stuff:
- Canoeing
- Miniature Golf
- Paintball
- Hiking
- White water rafting
- Cookout
- Homemade Ice Cream competition (ask the small group pastor to come be the judge). Each household in the small group makes a gallon of ice cream. Invite the neighbors over to eat what has been prepared.
- Camping
- Cornhole tournament (perfect competition for men and women together)
- Spend a day at a theme park
- Go to a drive-in movie together. Take lawn chairs, snacks, and coolers. Sit in front of your parked cars and enjoy a very fun evening together.
- Get the church's data projector and show a movie outside on someone's white garage door. Invite the neighbors.
Rainy Day Ideas:
On a rainy day spontaneously call up group members and…
- invite group members to your place to watch a movie. Pop popcorn, have drinks, etc…
- host a game day at the house (play cards or board games but don't drag the Bible Trivia game out)
- play Wiii games (this is a grand slam home run every time)
- play laser tag together (I promise, adults will love this too)
Ask someone to be the photographer for the class/group this summer. Invite those who are not part of the group but who joined you in some of these summer experiences to the first meeting in the Fall. Ask the photographer to prepare a media presentation for the group to see. This is a great way to make the group feel more like a "family," for pre-Christians to experience group life, and a fantastic way to remember the thrill of doing life together.
