ARCHIVES
July 2010
07.31.10
The Last Video... Saying Goodbye to a Discipleship Phenom... Thanks Avery
I was given oversight of the large group gatherings for a four day groups conference. From the very outset I knew we needed to honor and elevate those who had lived out Paul's most telling words to his protégé Timothy, " And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others." (2 Timothy 2:2) After all, this is one of the premiere responsibilities of every small group leader. I was simply seeking a four minute video of someone who had lived out 2 Timothy 2:2. I seldom use these terms but, "I was prompted by the Holy Spirit" to ask Avery Willis to be that person. I didn't know at the time just how significant that video would be.
You see, Avery was battling leukemia and was in the hospital. As we communicated it became apparent that getting these poignant four minutes was going to be difficult. He was very sick, I couldn't afford to get a crew to do the shoot, and we only had a few days to get this footage. Avery suggested we contact FBC Springdale, Arkansas. After all, they were right across the street from the hospital. Maybe they could do the shoot and e-mail the video file. I called with fear and trepidation. I was certain that, if they had a tech team, they were very busy people and would probably let me know they were unable to help. Just the opposite was true. Without any hesitation at all the leader of that team told me he'd send someone to do this for us… at no charge. We will forever be indebted to them.
You see… the short four minute video was Avery's last opportunity to cast vision for disciple-making. His home-going to heaven took place yesterday. In case you don't know the name Avery Willis, please allow me to share a few paragraphs from the obituary created by LifeWay Christian Resources where he worked for some years.
Willis retired as senior vice president for overseas operations of the International Mission Board in 2004. Prior to that appointment, he led the adult discipleship training department at the Sunday School Board (now LifeWay Christian Resources). "MasterLife" training materials have now been translated into more than 50 languages and continue to be published by LifeWay.
"The author of 'MasterLife' is with the Master," said Thom Rainer, president of LifeWay. "Avery Willis was a Baptist statesman 'par excellence.' His contribution to the cause of missions and missions education will have sustained impact for generations to come. He will be missed by all, and my prayer is that the Lord raises up others to continue where he left off for the cause of global missions and kingdom growth. I remember with gratitude the value of his ministry to my own life, especially through 'MasterLife' and his insightful book 'Biblical Basis of Missions.'"
In January of this year, Willis was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia. Doctors, however, were surprised by a quicker-than-expected remission in February, which allowed Willis to return his attention to discipleship. During the next several months, he campaigned for a return to the Bible storying form of discipleship. Often used as a discipleship tool among oral cultures, Willis believed Bible storying could be an effective method in the U.S. as well.
Willis and other proponents of this discipleship method organized DNA 21: Reclaiming Discipleship in the 21st Century, which launched with a webcast from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary in April.
Also while at LifeWay, Willis was instrumental in the release of "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby and Claude King, another important Bible study resource that has now been translated into more than 70 languages and recently celebrated its 20th anniversary in print.
We showed that four minute video at a worship experience during the conference, it was shot at the hospital. It was shown at a time when Avery himself was tweeting of his soon to be arrival with Christ in heaven. Claude King, co-author of Experiencing God and a man who himself was greatly affected by Avery quoted these verses when describing Avery's life, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day…" (2 Tim. 4:7-8a) Claude spoke with Avery on my behalf the day before his passing. Some were asking for the video so they could show it at their church. I wanted to make sure Avery was good with our distributing it. His response, "Distribute it freely." And so, here it is, Avery Willis' final message to all of us concerning discipleship.
Avery, thanks. We are forever indebted to you.
To see the video click on the link below to download.
07.29.10
Falling Out of an Airplane... Stories That Inspire and Instruct Small Group Members Are Vital
Real stories from real people inspire group members, create heroes for them, and are a model of what God can and will do if we are keeping our eyes open. Reading stories like the one you find below to your group members is like handing them a list of things to do. The difference, the list tells them what to do and is just more "instructional material." A story captures the heart while giving direction. I promise you, the story/heart is much more likely to motivate to action than the list.
Falling out of an Airplane, What Really Happened to Deb Douglas
Clumsy. No grace. That would be me. I fell out of a plane and went tarmac diving in Atlanta Hartsfield. I was on my way to Ridgecrest, NC to teach on small groups but I took an unplanned "trip". It was not a
vacation. Sections of the deplaning ramp were overlapping with the last section at a strange angle. My shoe caught in the gap and I went flying without a plane. The weight of my laptop in my backpack pushed me hard toward the grit, gravel, and grunginess of the gate area, continuing gravity's path over my head, slowing only when it collided with my neck, before landing onto the tarmac. The result was a crashed laptop, tarmac rash, bruises, sprained wrist, and a torn ligament. It could have been worse. Minutes later there's a fire truck, ambulance, 6 paramedics, police, and several supervisors.
That trip set into motion a series of events that I can only describe as God waves. Arriving in Ridgecrest, I was met by a car service driver for the 40-minute ride. After a quick stop for a burger, the driver announced he had calculated the number of his days left on this earth. I really wanted to focus on me and my pain; it was one of those kinds of moments. But this man had been put in my path for a
reason so I dove into listening to this man's concern and sharing truth with him. The number of days on this earth are not a matter of concern to me because my eternity began the day I asked Jesus to be my Lord. The driver continued to talk about death. I shared how God loves us and desires all of our days to be spent living in relationship with Him. As he pulled up to the doors at the camp, the driver said I was different than most of the people he drove, even those he had driven out to the camp in the past. I asked him why; his answer was the way I talked about God, as if He was real.
Two days later, I'm waiting for my ride back to the airport. The same driver pulls up in the midst of a mountain-rattling thunderstorm. Within seconds of stowing my umbrella and getting settled, the driver
tells me again how many days he has left on this planet. He's rattled from a near collision on the interstate. I comment about his obsession with death. He shared how his mother had said he could never go to heaven because of his life choices. He believed in God but could not accept a Jesus that would exclude him from heaven. I told him how much God loves all of us, no matter our choices, our sins. God is eager to forgive and be in a relationship with us. I explained how that relationship begins. At this moment, the man pulled the car over; tears are turning his eyes red. He says he can accept what I am saying
because he said he could see it in my eyes. He turns away and when he returns his gaze to me, he said, "you have changed my life." He had crossed the line of faith. I got to be the one who showed him how to get over his fear, to find the truth in the midst of lies.
I left the car rejoicing. If I'd done what I wanted to do after the fall, I would have gotten right back on the plane and headed home. But I had an appointment, a divine appointment. Feeling like I'd done what I had come to do, I settled in to wait for my delayed flight back to Atlanta. The possibility of making the Atlanta-Shreveport flight was slim but I hobbled my way through the airport. Arriving at the gate, I discovered the flight was held for me. I was in unbelief. I'm the person who stands and watches the plane she's suppose to be on lift off into the sunset, not have it wait an extra 15 minutes for me to arrive. As I make my way to the one remaining seat, I thanked all the growling passengers, unhappy to have had to wait for this person wrapped up in bandages.
I make it to my seat, and turn to thank the young man seated next to me. As our eyes meet, he says, "What's your philosophy on life?" For the next hour and a half, I answered questions centering on how to not only know who Jesus is historically but personally. He listened, talked through his previous perceptions, and relayed his story. The flight ended before he came to a place of acceptance. He thanked me, accepted my card, and said he saw things differently after our conversation.
If I hadn't had the fall, Delta would not have held the flight for me. I would not have had the opportunity to tell a young man that Jesus desires a relationship and how to make that happen. To be honest, if my hand hadn't been injured, I would have been on my phone, checking emails and texting instead of engaging in conversation with the car service driver.
Maybe it's like this: life gets busy. A little bump creates waves that take you places you would never imagine…away from the busy. Walking with Christ is about being read to ride the waves to where ever they are taking you. The choice is to either see the waves as a destructive tsunami or the wave that will give you the perfect ride. I'd rather surf the waves!
07.28.10
What Small Groups Are Really About, a Reminder
Yesterday I shared some of my hauntings with you, that it may be that the small group movement began to veer a few degrees some time ago and, if not realigned will continue to go further and further off course and may end up in very strange places, creative but strange and ineffective places.
This is just a reminder. Ask yourself… Is the paragraph below the starting place for the training of your group leaders?
They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Acts 2:42-47
07.27.10
The Confused Group Movement... Sovereign Mayhem?
I just returned from the 4G Conference. The goal of the event was to draw church leaders from four group types together for open dialogue, networking with one another, to inspire them as they spearhead a group movement, and to offer training. Four group types were represented… Small Groups, Discipleship Groups, Missional Groups, and Sunday School. One of the big takeaways for me was that group types seem to have lost their own identities. When an individual would describe a small group a Sunday School person would say, "You've just described a good Sunday School class," and visa versa. When someone brought up a Discipleship Group, someone in the room who would ask the individuals in the conversation to consider that, when Christ followers gather together and are engaged in biblical community discipleship is taking place. When Missional Groups came into the conversation there ALWAYS seemed to be someone reminding the gathered group that all group types are suppose to be and must be Missional.
Not so long ago it was easy to determine what type of group a group was, simply find out what curriculum the group was using. Not so today. Group leaders are choosing what once was specifically designed for deep discipleship in community-driven small groups. Sunday School classes are using small group resources instead of quarterlies, the weekly Bible studies designed just for an ongoing Sunday School class. Discipleship Groups may not be using any curriculum as they believe that the Sticky Church method will accomplish life-change in the people they are hoping to turn into fully devoted followers of Jesus. It's obvious, there's pandemonium in our ranks.
I must confess… I am beginning to wonder if this mayhem is a God thing and that He is using these conversations to bring us back to the purity of biblical community life. Is it possible that…
- we church leaders found our identity in the group type we became known for so we differentiated some principles and practices, wrote the books and built a following, and have been protecting our own brand rather than blessing and honoring any group living out biblical first century community?
- if the leaders in all of these movements came together after spending serious time in God's Word finding out what a small biblical community does, we would all agree that we've missed the boat and that the entire book of Acts really is the guide for group life, not the latest book on the subject?
- if we set aside our own paradigms of group life and simply made a list of all that the early believers experienced, sacrificed, and practiced as we peered purposefully into the book of Acts we'd find out that all of our diagrams and lists and clever acronyms would be replaced with an ongoing, fresh, and chaotic movement of the Holy Spirit, a responsibility to call group members into Americanized martyrdom rather than church membership, and that group members actually need one another so they can survive a culture that sees them as radical, ridiculous, religionists who have bought into the Jesus thing.
- when we stand before God He may ask us why we didn't lead those involved in our small group ministries to be the church at all costs rather than simply requiring them to carry out the organizations (the local churches) request to attend a small group or Sunday School class, a group or class designed to involve them in church life, rather than engage them in the radical Christian life Jesus expected us to live?
These ponderings are haunting me this morning.
07.21.10
Alan Danielson Interview... Triple Threat Leadership... On-line Book and Consulting
Many small group pastors get pigeonholed as the person who makes sure people meet in micro-communities. Let's face it... Small Group pastors have to be able to lead a movement, lead leaders, organize and oversee an organic ministry, and many are fantastic communicators. Also... Small Group pastors are forced to consistently see the present leadership landscape and adjust to it. Many times they are the first on the church staff to realize and bring nuances of leadership for a present era into play. They have so much more to offer the Kingdom but seldom find a way to make their message and abilities known.
My friend, Alan Danielson, has been able to break the glass ceiling that many small group pastors find themselves trapped under and has done some fantastic work on leadership that will be important for your church staff, small group leadership team, small group leaders, and any leadership in your church. This interview will help you get to know him, his philosophy of leadership, and how you can utilize what he has created to equip all of the leaders in your church.
Rick: Alan, you are a very well-respected guy in church leadership circles. Would you give us a quick chronology of your life experiences so we can see what God has used to shape you?
Alan: Wow. My autobiography in 30 seconds: I was born and raised in Albuquerque, NM to godly Christian parents. Although raised in the church, I didn't become a follower of Christ until I was 15. At age 17 I knew I God wanted me to be a pastor. I started in vocational ministry at age 18 and that's what I've done my whole adult life. All my previous experience, 4 years of college and 5 years of seminary combined didn't hold a candle to the things I learned on staff at LifeChurch.tv. I was a campus LifeGroups pastor, Associate Campus Pastor, and Executive LifeGroups Pastor (over the group ministry on all 13 campuses) during my 4 years at LifeChurch.tv. Since leaving LifeChurch.tv I've been pursuing a Senior Pastor role while consulting and coaching churches. None of that compares, though, to being married to my wonderful wife, Stacey, and raising our three sons!
Rick: When did you first realize that God had given you the leadership gift? What stage of life were you in and how did God shape the leadership gift in you?
Alan: I knew I was a leader when I was in high school after becoming a Christ-Follower. Suddenly peers began following me and listening to me. I knew God had entrusted me with something that I had to steward faithfully. So I jumped in to vocational ministry immediately following my high school graduation.
Rick: There has been so much written on leadership, what sets your work, Triple Threat Leadership, apart from other leadership ideologies?
Alan: The trend in leadership books/talks today is for experts to say, "Don't focus on your weaknesses, just leverage your strengths." While I agree with this in principle, in practice it's not always realistic. I believe there are three skills that all leaders, regardless of their job title, organization size, or experience must have: (1) casting vision, (2) creating strategy, and (3) fostering relationships. Leaders who learn do do all three will always succeed. All leaders are going to be better at one or two of these skills, but their leadership will be incomplete unless they learn to do the thing(s) they do less-well. Triple-Threat Leadership is not about focusing on your weaknesses, and it's not about doing all things well. It's about doing 3 things well. Leaders who learn these three things succeed: they are "Triple-Threat Leaders".
Rick: Would you give us a short explanation of each of the three skills?
Alan: Sure. I'll just use this excerpt from page 9 of my book.
CREATING STRATEGY: Some people thrive on it. Some feel like it is restricting. Some people don't even know what it means. Regardless of how we feel about the word, it is necessary. Strategy is the thought and planning that happens before taking any actions. Strategy provides structure for leadership the same way that a skeleton provides structure for a body. It provides a foundation upon which leadership can be built. Without a skeleton a person would just be a useless pile of flesh unable to move or function. Without structure, attempts to lead become "feel-good" meetings where nothing really gets done.
FOSTERING RELATIONSHIPS: Some pride themselves on being "people persons" while others prefer a hermit's life. Whether you are a "people-person", a hermit or somewhere in between, relationships are a vital component for effective leadership. If strategy is the skeleton, relationship is the flesh, muscles and organs? What good is leadership without heart? How impersonal is leadership without a face? Leadership without relationship is frightening. It's all bones and no life. Ultimately, it's not really leadership at all.
CASTING VISION: Strategy is the skeleton, relationship is the flesh, and vision is the food for leadership. Vision provides the fuel that energizes people to do what needs to be done and to become what they need to become. The Bible says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Without vision, leadership starves. It may have strategy and relationships but without vision, strategy and relationships become inwardly focused. The organization turns on itself like a starving body turns on itself and begins to suck nutrients and energy from its own stores of fat and protein. The unfortunate side effect of strategy and relationships without vision is a malnourished, malformed team that is terribly dysfunctional.
Rick: You've been known as one of the premiere small group pastors in the country for a long time, what motivated you to write Triple Threat Leadership?
Alan: Three things. First, I think the biggest obstacle to staff success in the church is incomplete leadership. If pastors and staff people will complete their leadership skill set, they will achieve far more. Second, small groups are all about leadership. It's becoming popular to drop the term "small group leader" in favor of "facilitator", "host", or "coordinator", but the truth remains: regardless of the title, small groups need leaders. Small group leaders should read this book and apply the principles to their own groups. Third, I wanted to write something that crosses over from the church world into the secular marketplace. I want to be active in the business community and take the light of Christ with me. This book gives me platform to do just that. The style of the book is definitely secular, and as such, has allowed me to do workshops and coaching events for people who are outside the church and who are not followers-of-Christ.
Rick: How are you suggesting this book be used? Is it an individual study, a tradebook, an experience for a team to work through together, etc…?
Alan: It's written so that an individual can benefit from it, but it's best if used with other people. I suggest that leaders take their entire team through the book and have everyone take the assessment. This gives their team a common "language" to discuss leadership challenges and to understand one another's strengths and weaknesses. It also gives leaders insight that equips them to lead their individual team members better.
One of my favorite things to do is to have a team read the book, take the assessment, then allow me to come in and do a 2 hour workshop. In that workshop I re-explore some of the main ideas and help the team process. Then we spend time interpreting, and understanding their assessment results.
Rick: How can someone acquire Triple Threat Leadership?
Alan: Anyone can download a copy at http://www.3threat.net/resources/ebook
Rick: Are you available to consult churches and help them in their ministries? If so, what can you do for them?
Alan: Absolutely. My specialty in small group ministry is helping churches move their groups from an inward focus to an outward (missional) focus. I can also help churches with small group leader training, strategy development, campaigns and doubling their number of groups in 12-24 months. I do Triple-Threat Leadership workshops with staff and volunteers, and I also do one-on-one coaching with pastors.
Rick: How can a church contact you if they want to know more about your ministry or talk with you about working with them?
Alan: They can fill out the contact form on my website: http://www.3threat.net/contact
07.20.10
Tweets That Remind Us, Restore Us, Redeem Us, Protect Us
I've learned that a few sentences can make a major difference in someone's life. This is one of the reasons I chose to become a twitter fanatic about a year ago. Since then I've been tweeting a thought or statement for pastors about five times a week. Some of you have mentioned that these have been enlightening or reminders to you of things you knew but had forgotten. Some have even let me know that a tweet protected them from a poor choice or from getting into a dangerous situation. Today I've listed some of these. Feel free to use them as conversation starters or in talks that you're doing. One of the things I learned was that using one of these tweets to sum up a point I was making when preaching was very effective. It seems people really like to write these kinds of phrases down.
Thanks to many of you for following my tweets on twitter. I'm praying they will help you as much as they do me. It seems that every time I write one of these short blurbs I am reminded of some weakness, flaw, or a goal that I haven't been giving my full attention to.
While most of these are written to small group leaders or pastors, they will be helpful to anyone working with, leading, or teaching other followers of Christ.
Also… If you would like to get future tweets and you already have a twitter account just choose to follow my tweeting by clicking on the "follow me on twitter" statement on the right margin of this blog post.
- Training is an experience. Transformation is a process.
- If you want your small group members to be healed model "sin confession." James 5:16
- Obstinate small group members are conversational parasites devouring synergy.
- Authentic Christian community is a delicacy every believer deserves a taste of daily.
- A healthy conversational bible study allows many perspectives to circle the runway but only truth to land.
- If spiritual growth is the goal... Promote reading the bible before the hottest Christian author.
- Conflict as well as Forgiveness takes place when courageous people are honest with one another.
- Community is the pathway to peace. Isolationism is the gateway to guilt.
- Every book in the bible was written to, for, or about COMMUNITY. We were not created for INDIVIDUALITY.
- Church is anywhere believers are gathered, not the building where believers gather.
- Great decision makers get counsel from those who have already been forced to make the same decision.
- If you want to be transformed you have to be transparent.
- Small group members need not judge one another. Imperfect people are everywhere, just look in the mirror.
- A small group experiencing conflict is on the verge of greatness.
- The most effective way to give wise counsel is to ask a series of wise questions.
- Aloneness is a sure path to possible wrongdoing.
07.19.10
When Small Groups Graze... Food that Transforms
Most small groups do food… Some gorge weekly on a enormous southern feast. Some groups order pizza weekly or ask group members to stop on their way and pick up their favorite fast food, each member with a different meal plan. Other groups dive headlong into group member's favorite dessert (at least the one they cook the best). Then there are the groups who meet at a restaurant or coffee house. They simply order from the menu.
It makes no difference what a group chooses to do so long as they do fooding together. When people eat together something fantastic happens… people relax and talk. What does doing food together do for a group?
- Eating together is the perfect ice-breaker. Eat together before the group meeting weekly and ice-breakers may become extinct.
- Eating together allows the leader and apprentice to serve the group members. Servant leadership always enhances a leaders influence.
- Eating together allows individuals with the spiritual gift of hospitality to exercise their gifts.
- Eating together allows you to help group members discover their spiritual gifts. Individuals with the gift of helps will naturally begin cleaning up after the meal, people with the gift of teaching will insert a biblical concept into the conversation taking place during the meal, etc… If a group leader is watching closely she/he will be able to discern gifts group members have never even considered that they might have.
- Eating together slows the blood pressure of busy, working people. Group members no longer have to hurry home, fix a meal, charge through it at home, then rush to the meeting.
- If well organized, eating together allows the individual who cooks supper at home daily a break from that responsibility.
07.16.10
My Thoughts on this Week's Candid Conversation... Fallen Leaders and Restoration
Over the last four days, if you've been following this blog, we've been hearing from Brad Johnson, a dear pastor friend who had an affair while serving as a senior pastor. Brad is not your average guy. His experience includes leading a church of less than 300 to nearly 2,000, a church in rural Kentucky. He then joined the Saddleback Church staff where he had oversight of Home Plate ministries (Missions) as well as functioning as one of the teaching pastors at Saddleback. Following his run there he went on to be the senior pastor at Calvary Community Church, a mega-church in Westlake Village, California. Brad had it all. He was living the ecclesiastical dream when he chose to involve himself in a relationship with someone other than his wife. He then lost it all.
In agreeing to do this interview Brad opened himself up to much criticism and scrutiny as well as being questioned concerning his decision to re-enter full-time ministry. His reason for doing this interview… so others would not make the same devastating mistake he made, diving into a relationship with anyone other than the person he said, "I do" to.
I knew this series of blog posts would create a conversation of some intensity. It is obvious that there are varying interpretations of Scripture when it comes to fallen church leaders and the possibility of them returning to meaningful roles in the bride of Christ. This came as no surprise to me. Having joined teams of church leaders on multiple occasions to restore a fellow follower/church leader I know the cries (and sometimes demands) of the outspoken cynics, the heart-broken church members, and the disappointed staff members who had put their trust in a sin-soaked and redemption-seeking pastor.
I have noted that, in most instances, those who have the most difficult time believing restoration of a fallen pastor (and a return to church leadership) is possible are those who have…
- divorced parents or whose family has been wrecked by the devastation of divorce.
- chosen to see the responsibility of the full-time ordained minister as quite different than the responsibility of the laity.
- been bathed in legalism due to their denominations teaching, their seminary's perspective, their favorite pastor's teaching, or a mentor's viewpoint.
- an honest and sincere concern for our country's and the world's moral collapse in an era when the society we live in looks much like (or worse than) Sodom and Gomorrah.
- never been tempted by or have not stepped over the sexual sin line, whether that be pornography or a physical, sinful, sexual act with another human being.
- sincerely studied Scripture and have concluded that "above reproach" means that (evidently) a person will forever be "below reproach" if they have disgraced the church by involving oneself in an adulterous relationship.
I have noted that, in most instances, those who are most likely to embrace the restoration of a minister following an affair are those who have…
- hearts that have not been broken by a divorce that wrecked their family system.
- the perception that all believers are equals with various roles in the church body.
- been bathed in the concept of grace due to their denominations teaching, their seminary's perspective, their favorite pastor's teaching, or a mentor's viewpoint.
- an honest and sincere concern for our country's and the world's moral collapse in an era when the society we live in looks much like (or worse than) Sodom and Gomorrah and have concluded that the world is more apt to embrace Christ if we trust Him to transform and heal every sinner… completely.
- been tempted by and have stepped over the sexual sin line, whether that be pornography or a physical, sinful, sexual act with another human being.
- sincerely studied Scripture and have concluded that "above reproach" means that a person can once again be "above reproach" after exhibiting a contrite heart, repenting (turning away from) of the sin, going through a carefully orchestrated restoration process, and have been approved to do ministry again by a group of wise church leaders.
Please know that in each of the lists above the only response that has any right to be heard on this issue is the last statement, the one that asks what Scripture allows. The real question is, "Does God's Word allow an elder to be restored and then placed in a leadership role within the body of Christ after having involved themselves in an adulterous relationship?" There will continue to be much discussion concerning this topic. There will always be opposing interpretations.
I was on the team that restored Brad Johnson back into the good graces of God's church. Some opposed it, others applauded it, some very impressive church leaders continue to question it, I embraced it and him. Galatians 6:1 says, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." The role of those of us who are spiritual is to restore, each church will decide whether or not they will choose a redeemed, restored brother to lead them. Each church must ask the question, "Do we believe Scripture allows us to utilize a restored follower of Christ to lead us?" Mature believers are to restore, the local church must interpret Scripture, come to a conclusion, then either welcome the fallen leader or refuse to utilize the fallen leader.
Brad, I can't thank you enough for your willingness to open up your heart and the painful wounds that are embedded there. Your honesty is a beautiful thing, your ability to communicate the darkness and the redemption you've experienced is extraordinary, and your response to those with a different biblical interpretation than both you and myself… respectful, real, genuine, and revealing.
If you sense Brad could be of service to your church feel free to contact him at bradsj@gmail.com; 805-208-2272 or his current ministry location, www.lifechangecommunity.org. The telling of his story may save many of your congregants from making the same mistake.
07.15.10
A Candid Conversation with a Mega-Church Pastor Who Didn't Affair Proof His Marriage IV
Over the last three days you've been engaged in a candid interview with Brad Johnson, a mega-church pastor who lost everything due to his decision to engage in a relationship with a woman other than his wife. The first day we heard from him concerning the internal battle he did not win. On day two we heard from him concerning the affects of his sin. Yesterday ideas, perspectives, and thoughts on biblical expectations were exposed. Today I asked Brad to give us words of wisdom, practical advice for each of us.
Rick: What would you to say to the minister, anyone actually, who is considering crossing that line?
Brad: Confess your struggle to a Christian friend of the same sex, immediately enter into a relationship with a reputable Christian therapist and take EVERY RADICAL STEP necessary to be as far from any whiff of temptation that is possible. FLEE the temptation.
Rick: What would you suggest others do so that they don't cross the line and find themselves on the other side of one of the worst decisions of their lives?
Brad: Truthfulness is the key. Be honest with yourself, with your struggles, with your needs, with your fears, with your pain. Deal with issues that have haunted you, likely for years. Don't believe the lies that it's safe, just fun or harmless. Refuse to buy the lie that you will not cross the line. You will.
Rick: What else would you like to say to any married person about divorce, how to keep from finding yourself in an affair, etc…?
Brad: If it can happen to me and many, many people stronger, wiser and more spiritually mature than me....IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. This is not a game. The consequences are devastating. You are a fool to know about my life and continue on a road that would find you where I have been. I would BEG you with all that is within me to live honorably, to keep no secrets, and to put behavioral boundaries around your life that might even seem extreme. Your lasting marriage is worth every effort you invest to save it.
Rick: For those of us who want to be there for you and others in your situation, what would you suggest to us?
Brad: Be available. Be generous. Be merciful. Do not fear being perceived as being soft of sin or unwise. Kindness is a command. Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit. And when a person begins a journey back to the Father, celebrate every step. Take risks to publically stand with them. Use your influence to help open doors so that they may have opportunity to live the life they desire to live for Jesus Christ.
Rick: Brad, would you be willing to address this issue in churches, before church groups, men's groups, or share your story, if you are invited?
Brad: Yes, I am most certainly open to speaking, teaching, or being interviewed. If you sense Brad could be of service to your church feel free to contact him at bradsj@gmail.com; 805-208-2272 or his current ministry location, www.lifechangecommunity.org
07.14.10
A Candid Conversation with a Mega-Church Pastor Who Didn't Affair Proof His Marriage III
Today is day three of a very important series of conversations with Brad Johnson, former pastor of a mega-church in southern California. In way of introduction, I've included the two paragraphs below. If you read day one or day two of this series of posts, feel free to skip these two paragraphs and go straight to the interview. If you are joining in the conversation for the first time today, I'd suggest you read yesterday's introduction.
I had the opportunity of serving alongside and under the direction of Senior Pastor Brad Johnson for nearly seven years. Brad is undoubtedly one of the greatest leaders I have ever known. His passion for God's church, sincerity of heart, ability to bring about change, and his communication skills makes him a premiere church leader. Brad transitioned a rural Kentucky church and in the process grew her from a congregation of less than 300 to nearly 2,000. He left Kentucky when Rick Warren requested he come on staff at Saddleback Church. While at Saddleback he served as one of her teaching pastors and was given oversight of her Home Base ministry. Then Calvary Community Church, a soon to be mega-church in Westlake Village, California came calling. Brad exited the well-known Saddleback Church to become the senior pastor at Calvary Community. It was there that Brad made the devastating mistake of allowing himself to enter into a relationship with a woman other than his wife.
Over the years Brad and I have spoken often of his story and how others can learn from his destructive decision. I asked Brad if he would be willing to allow me to interview him. His honesty and openness are not only refreshing, it may protect some of you from making the same mistake.
Rick: Brad, having eldered alongside you, I know at one time that you despised divorce. What is your perspective on divorce now?
Brad: I despise it more than ever. I wish I could undo every bit of my prodigal life and if I could, I would do whatever it took to save/salvage my marriage. I truly understand why God hates divorce. The on-going suffering of my children and sorrow in my heart is to be despised.
Rick: How can you have a dislike for divorce yet be a divorced person yourself?
Brad: Only with God's help. God is giving me (and my former wife and children) lots of grace and lots of hope for a new future, but we all walk into that future with a limp. A crass example that I have told people is to look upon my poor choices like one would look at a lab rat. The rat experiences the trauma, or the poison, or the consequences of an experiment SO THAT others do not have to experience anything like this themselves. My life and divorce can be redeemed if God uses my story to save another home and family.
Rick: How has this situation changed your view on the church and how she should respond to those who find themselves divorced?
Brad: Let's enlarge the topic to how the church should respond to anyone who is broken by sin. Though there have been some unbelievably sweet, grace-giving Christians that God used to 'love me back to HIMSELF,' I also experienced a harsh, punishing side of the church that I had never experienced. I am convinced that many believers never fully find their way back home, because the angry brothers and sisters (of the Prodigal Son story) stand in the way. It's tragic and I hope I can be used by our Lord to help Christians know how to respond to all sinners.
Rick: Let me take that question one step further… How should the church respond to those who caused the divorce?
Brad: If the person who sins (whatever that sin might be), is a Christian, there is very little convincing that Christians need to do for the person to know the sinfulness of their choices. The Holy Spirit does that. Nor is it the role of Christians to make sure enough punishment has been meted out to the sinner. There is a sense among some Christians that they must make sure the sinner "pays." The reaping and sowing principle is one that God set in order and that God ensures happens. Christians don't have to pile on the consequences. If a Christian remains in an on-going pattern of sin, unrepentant and rebellious, then Christians will likely need to give space and time. God will work in the meantime. BUT, when a person gives a hint of a desire to return, then Christians should be open-armed and ready to renew and rebuild a relationship in a spirit of grace and forgiveness.
Rick: Some would say that you are no longer fit for ministry yet God miraculously opened the door for you to plant a church. How would you respond to those individuals?
Brad: I certainly don't want to argue for why I'm back and I am very aware that so many ministers are never again given the opportunity to return to a ministry setting. I'm humbled by that fact. All I can offer is what transpired in my life. After becoming completely broken and repentant, I offered myself in a process of conversations, and relationships with Pastors, a reputable Christian therapist, and an older mentor and over a long period of time. For a year, they observed my life, challenged me, questioned me, watched me, prayed for me, loved me, walked with me, encouraged me, and pointed me steadily on the right road. In the meantime, I sought diligently and consistently to live and show the fruit of my repentance. I worked in the secular arena for over two years and deeply desired to live a life of which my kids could once again be proud. By His Spirit and through His people, God slowly rebuilt my interior world. He restored a right spirit within me. And after a year of humble, slow listening and following the leadership of this team around me, they consistently began to challenge me to open myself to whatever God might have for me next. God brought people around me who urged me to consider the gifts and calling that were once again evident in my life. I resisted the idea of ever again doing anything remotely like ministry, let alone on a church staff. However, the Holy Spirit kept at my heart and through people who are wise and mature in faith, God kept nudging me and wooing me back. Once again, after much soul-searching and counsel, I surrendered to whatever God had next for me. What He had next was this opportunity to be part of a new church start. I know that my task is to remain faithful to this calling and to our Lord and it's God's part to bless, bring fruit and contend with detractors.
07.13.10
A Candid Conversation with a Mega-Church Pastor Who Didn't Affair Proof His Marriage II
Today is day two of a very important series of conversations with Brad Johnson, former pastor of a mega-church in southern California. In way of introduction, I've included the two paragraphs below. If you read yesterday's post, feel free to skip these two paragraphs and go straight to the interview. If you are joining in the conversation for the first time today, I'd suggest you read yesterday's introduction.
I had the opportunity of serving alongside and under the direction of Senior Pastor Brad Johnson for nearly seven years. Brad is undoubtedly one of the greatest leaders I have ever known. His passion for God's church, sincerity of heart, ability to bring about change, and his communication skills makes him a premiere church leader. Brad transitioned a rural Kentucky church and in the process grew her from a congregation of less than 300 to nearly 2,000. He left Kentucky when Rick Warren requested he come on staff at Saddleback Church. While at Saddleback he served as one of her teaching pastors and was given oversight of her Home Base ministry. Then Calvary Community Church, a soon to be mega-church in Westlake Village, California came calling. Brad exited the well-known Saddleback Church to become the senior pastor at Calvary Community. It was there that Brad made the devastating mistake of allowing himself to enter into a relationship with a woman other than his wife.
Over the years Brad and I have spoken often of his story and how others can learn from his destructive decision. I asked Brad if he would be willing to allow me to interview him. His honesty and openness are not only refreshing, it may protect some of you from making the same mistake.
Rick: How was the church you pastored at the time of your affair been affected by your sin and how is she doing today?
Brad: I am quite sure that only heaven will reveal all the harm my decisions had on the precious congregation I was privileged to pastor. Much of the damage was in the spiritual realm, the witness of the church suffered and pervasive spiritual harm was done to individual hearts....all of which I may never fully see, or that I cannot fully measure. On the other side of the issue are the tangible, measurable parts of the church that were also deeply wounded: Attendance fell, finances faltered, stress on staff increased, and Elders were put in the impossible place of damage control. And my sin became a distraction to the true and noble purposes of the church. Now, over three years later, I'm so thankful that a wonderful new pastor has been in place for a while, attendance is growing, finances are stable, morale is high and the church is pointed in a terrific direction.
Rick: How was your family affected?
Brad: There are no words to describe the harm I did to my family. And without overstating it, I am quite sure the damage will ripple with repercussions for generations. The trauma is beyond belief. My wife didn't deserve, nor does any wife deserve such wreckage in her home, in her marriage or for her kids. No heart should be so betrayed or broken. The wounds are such that only God can heal over a very long period of time. My children were also profoundly affected. Their sense of what marriage is was marred. Their trust in their father was shattered (and their ability to trust other men has been hindered). Their sense of stability in their home or life has been brought into question. Their hearts and emotions were crushed by my sin. Through God's grace, my children and ex-wife are healing, but it has been horrific.
Rick: I know you had brought some very gifted people onto the staff team. How did your moral failure affect them and what is your relationship with them today?
Brad: Because of my rebellion early on and then mainly because of intense shame, I walked away and cut off a relationship with most friends that were in my life (and some walked away from me). Thankfully, I have reconciled with many former friends from my past, and have personally apologized and asked for forgiveness from the staff with whom I worked most closely. Though I don't enjoy the relationships with former staff I once had, they have-for the most part- been very gracious to me.
Rick: What did you lose personally due to your moral failure?
Brad: The losses are impossible to calculate. How does one quantify a 30-year career and reputation, or the trust of one's children, or ability to serve in the kingdom of our Lord? How does one talk about the destruction of a soul, so corrupted by sin? In measurable ways, I lost a million dollars in net worth, I lost my home, my marriage, and for a season--my children, my self-esteem, my peace of mind, my sense of God's love for me, and the opportunity to influence people toward Jesus. I lost every single bit of the life I once had and enjoyed. It was all gone. And in place of all that was the convicting, crushing awareness that all by myself, I caused this wreckage and loss.
Rick: In the months prior to the affair becoming public, what did you experience?
Brad: I walked into a darkness and depression that I didn't understand or even know could exist. I attempted suicide prior to leaving the church (and two other times after). I couldn't sleep, couldn't function, couldn't bear the lie I was living and the harm I had caused my family. I knew I needed to resign. I could not handle the duplicity. So I resigned, citing burn out and depression. The church did not know all the reasons for my resignation.
Rick: In the months following the affair becoming public, what did you experience?
Brad: As a follower of Jesus, the profound conviction that accompanies unconfessed sin and an unrepentant heart is suffocating. I grew more depressed and more desperate and despondent. I attempted suicide two other times. The third time, I awoke with paramedics in my home, EKG pads on my chest and police in my house. The weight of all I had done, the lies I had told, the shame I brought on our Lord's name, the damage done to my family and to the church....how does one live with that? I didn't want to. In retrospect, I also realize that the truth shall set you free. Once my sin was exposed (some time after leaving the church and taking secular employment), I no longer lived with the thrumming fear of exposure that seized my thoughts every single day for over a year. Like a cancer being removed, my exposure and the survival of suicide was the beginning of my repentance and return to a relationship with Jesus.
Rick: How would your life be different if you had, at the point of realizing you could and might cross that line, done what was necessary to walk away from the relationship?
Brad: I can't tell you how many hours and months I have spent considering this question. What if? My family would be together, my wife and kids would have been unharmed, my witness would have remained in tact, the church would have been spared her pain...and I would have learned powerful lessons without the accompanying devastation. Though I have learned those lessons now, it has been at a horrendous price.
Rick: Is there anything you'd like to say to the people who made up the church you were serving and the staff team you were leading?
Brad: I have had personal meetings with the Elders of the church and have expressed myself to them in writing and have been forgiven by the Elders, but I wish I could completely crack open my emotions and thoughts for people to see the contrition, brokenness, and repentance that I experienced as a result of the sin I committed against the Lord and against them. I wish I could convey the sorrow over the harm that resulted from my sin and I wish the church could know my deep prayer that they experience a fresh wind and season of ministry far beyond what they ever hoped or thought.
07.12.10
A Candid Conversation with a Mega-Church Pastor Who Didn't Affair Proof His Marriage I
I had the opportunity of serving alongside and under the direction of Senior Pastor Brad Johnson for nearly seven years. Brad is undoubtedly one of the greatest leaders I have ever known. His passion for God's church, sincerity of heart, ability to bring about change, and his communication skills makes him a premiere church leader. Brad transitioned a rural Kentucky church and in the process grew her from a congregation of less than 300 to nearly 2,000. He left Kentucky when asked to come on staff at Saddleback Church. While at Saddleback he served as one of her teaching pastors and was given oversight of her Home Base ministry. Then a soon to be mega-church in Westlake Village, California came calling. Brad exited the well-known Saddleback Church to become the senior pastor at Calvary Community. It was there that Brad made the devastating mistake of allowing himself to enter into a relationship with a woman other than his wife.
Over the years Brad and I have spoken often of his story and how others can learn from his destructive decision. I asked Brad if he would be willing to allow me to interview him. His honesty and openness are not only refreshing, it may protect some of you from making the same mistake.
I hope you'll read this blog post each day this week.
Rick: When did you first realize that you were willing to slide down that slippery slope into a relationship with someone other than the person you were married to? Brad: The funny thing about slippery slopes is that one doesn't realize just how steep nor how slippery that slope is. As an example, in California, there is a rocky cliff called, Half Dome. Signs are everywhere that people should not get near the edge because the rock begins a steep curve downward toward a sharp cliff edge, and after that...hundreds of feet to the bottom of the cliff. Guess what? Many people die because they overestimate their balance, underestimate the danger and continue to a point of no return. Early on, I thought, "There is no harm with some fun." And I promised myself I would not go too far. I was sliding over the edge before I seriously considered the danger. It was so extremely foolish. Rick: What rationales did the enemy throw at you that broke down the invisible barriers making it possible for you to cross that devastating line? Brad: Initially, the flirtations were merely fun and I allowed myself to linger too long in the murkiness of all that. They seemed harmless and I rationalized (which are rational lies) that they were deserved. I reasoned selfishly: " I've worked too hard, I've served others all this time, I'm extremely tired so it's time for me. Aspects of my marriage seemed unfulfilling, so I thought: what harm would there be in a bit of attention from others? Again…pure selfishness and I swallowed the deceptions hook, line and sinker. It's a subtle slide. I should have remembered, most sin is all fun at first. Or said another way: I had already bought before I ever saw the price. Rick: Why do you think you were unable or unwilling to win the battle taking place in your mind, take those thoughts captive, and stop the situation before it got out of hand? Brad: As I realized that I was dangerously close to a fatal edge, I began to back track and scramble. The battle was waged in my mind and I told myself a thousand times: Won't get that close again, won't put myself in that situation again, won't see that person socially again. But there was a spiritual, gravitational pull from the enemy and I had allowed myself so far out near the edge that the forces were strong. And my thinking was drowsy. I didn't know how burned out I was and how vulnerable that left me. (no excuses…though…just an understanding looking back on it all). Further, I was suffering from deep depression, which I didn't understand at the time. Add to that a growing dependence on alcohol as a numbing device....and I went over the edge. One further piece of this tragedy is the lie I believed that I could not confide in anyone. Isolated and alone, I got way out on the edge before anyone noticed issues in my life. Rick: How is it that you were unable or unwilling to comprehend what your decision would do to your family, your church, your ministry, your reputation? Brad: A statement about our enemy is probably a necessary warning here. Though Jesus calls him the Father of Liars, we don't often understand that such a description means that he is extremely good at lying. His lies are believable. If they weren't, no one would ever buy into anything he said. His lies to me included: "You will NEVER cross the line (or the next one, or the next one, or the next one). Then, he 'promised' that I would never do it 'again.' Then he promised, I would never be caught and therefore would have PLENTY of time to make things right with God and return to a good path. Because of my compromised spiritual condition (which was actually the result of many micro -compromises), and because of my willingness to 'buy the lie' that I 'never would go THAT far' or that if I 'did', I would never be discovered, AND because of fatigue, depression and alcohol...I never thought through the depth of the consequences. And truth be told, the few times I did wonder about consequences, the delusion was so deep, that I had NO IDEA..NOT EVEN CLOSE… what the true consequences of such a decision would be. I'm now sure, that no one would make such compromises and choices if they could live a day in my shoes. But, as stated earlier, we don't see the price until we already bought. Rick: What would you say to the pastor who is reading this blog and is wrestling with the enemy's rationales but has not yet replaced those thoughts with God's wise words? Brad: Do whatever you must to separate yourself from the temptation. Run from the situations and people that are a source of temptation. Nothing you do is 'too extreme' to get yourself far from this set of circumstances EVEN IF IT MEANS that you need to Resign your church, sell your house, or leave the city. When the scriptures say, "Flee," the scriptures speak truth. In addition, you must tell someone of your struggles. The enemy's lie is: No one will understand. Or, You will be fired if they know you struggle so deeply. What I would say is: Nothing that happens to you as a result of confessing the struggle is even CLOSE to what will happen to you, if you remain isolated and alone in the struggle and succumb.
