09.03.10
Nine Things to Remember When Discipling Men
This past week my church asked if I'd do a session for our men on discipling men. I gotta tell you, it brought about a lot of personal soul-searching. When it was all said and done one of the outcomes was a list of "things to remember" when leading men. The list below may help you as you lead men in your small group, accountability group, or some other kind of group.
- Men need to see a vision. They need a mental image of the final outcome.
- Men need social time, not just meeting times. Social time on the golf course, at the pool hall, on the ball field, etc… is what will make the meeting time come to life.
- Men are warriors and need an enemy to fight and a battle to win. This is just the heart of a man. Be certain they know who the enemy is, Satan.
- Men need a bar raised high. Boredom sets in quickly when a goal is easily attainable.
- Men don't read. Many men are not going to pick up a book and read it. You may be a book junky, they may junk the book.
- Men will dodge real life issues by deflecting and talking about facts. For instance, you might ask a guy what God is teaching him during his daily time with God. His response might be to tell you he had his quiet time three times this week. You'll need to dig deeper.
- Men need a safe place and a safe person to tell real life stuff to but they need time to know they can trust you. You'll need to open the door to this kind of transparency by revealing your stuff first.
- Men will lie to you. Every accountability list I've ever seen had as the last question something like this… "Were any of your responses misleading or all out lies?" Don't declare a man the enemy because of this, he's been taught by society to protect his influence in this way. Simply help him step into the light of honesty so God can redeem his heart.
- Men need MODELS, not INFORMATION.
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