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10.05.10
Three Options for Handling Unofficial Small Groups
Every high-quality small group ministry will have unofficial small groups, groups that start on their own after seeing what your organized groups are doing or groups of people who are living out biblical community organically. When the small group pastor is made aware of these groups there is one of three ways to handle these groups.
- Allow the group to continue as they are without interruption. Pray for these groups and honor them as gifts from God.
- Approach the most influential person in the group (or the designated group leader). Let them know that you would be honored if the group would consider becoming part of the small group system. Point out the advantages of becoming part of the church's small group ministry. Be sure to include training opportunities, a coach to help them in their growth as a leader, financial assistance from the church (if your church does assist in the purchase of materials or other things), networking with a other small group leaders, ongoing encouragement, and assistance with childcare (if your church aids in finding individuals to do childcare or financial assistance is available in paying for childcare).
- Allow the group to continue without interruption utilizing the group when the church is doing church-wide campaigns. If you believe it will enhance the church's ministry, at the end of each campaign invite the unofficial small group to join the church's small group ministry. In most instances the group leader will be more likely to consider this following a campaign as the leader has experienced what it feels like to be part of the small group team.
10.04.10
Can Someone Be in a Small Group and Not Know It?
I am convinced that many people are in a small group and just don't know it. For ten years I was a collegiate minister in Kentucky. There were about twelve other college ministers planted on various colleges and universities around the state. The years I spent with these incredible men and women unveiled small group life to me in amazing ways. While we didn't meet weekly, we really did do life together.
We lived out each of the one another principles without ever discussing them or agreeing to live them out…
Love Each Other:
1. to fulfill God's law (Romans 13:8)
2. to increase our love for one another (2 Thessalonians 1:3)
3. to overflow in love for one another (1 Thessalonians 3:12)
4. to cover a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8)
Connect with Each Other in Integrity:
1. to fellowship with one another (1 John 1:7)
2. to forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13)
3. to greet one another with healthy touch (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Peter 5:14)
4. to wait for one another to break bread (1 Corinthians 11:33)
5. to help one another through difficult times (1 Corinthians 12:26)
Serve Each Other:
1. to use our spiritual gifts (1 Peter 4:10)
2. to love, relinquishing our freedom when necessary (Galatians 5:13)
3. to show kindness and pursue what is good for one another (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
4. to show concern for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25)
5. to carry one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2)
6. to show honor as you "wash one another's feet" (John 13:14)
7. to work with one another (1 Corinthians 3:9; 2 Corinthians 6:1)
Teach Each Other:
1. to teach and admonish one another (Colossians 3:16)
2. to instruct and model Jesus to one another (Romans 15:14)
Encourage Each Other:
1. to encourage one another to avoid deception and live for Christ (Hebrews 3:13; Hebrews 10:25)
2. to speak the truth to one another (Ephesians 4:25)
3. to lay down our lives for one another (1 John 3:16)
4. to spur one another on to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24)
Build Up Each Other:
1. to strengthen one another in tough times (1 Thessalonians 4:18 and 5:11)
2. to share a psalm, a teaching, or a revelation (1 Corinthians 14:26)
Meet Each Other's Spiritual Needs:
1. to confess our sins one to another (James 5:16)
2. to pray for one another (James 5:16)
Live a Life of Humility Toward Each Other:
1. to honor others above ourselves (Romans 12:10)
2. to be in agreement or of the same mind one with each other (2 Corinthians 13:11; Romans 12:16 and 15:5)
3. so as not to criticize or judge one another (Romans 14:13; James 4:11)
4. so as not to complain or speak badly of one another (James 5:9)
5. to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21)
6. to be clothed with humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5)
Live in Harmony with Each Other:
1. to be patient with one another (Ephesians 4:2)
2. to live in peace one with another (Mark 9:50)
3. to accept and welcome one another with hospitality (Romans 15:7; 1 Peter 4:9)
4. to glorify God together (Romans 15:6
Was this band of passionate college ministers a small group? Only if you consider a dozen or so followers of Jesus living out biblical community a small group. Or maybe, just maybe we were something more than a small group. Maybe we were a band of sisters and brothers being the church for one another. Either way, I wish every person on the planet could experience what we experienced together.
Small group pastor… Look around you. You may have a substantial number of small groups already meeting, groups that don't show on your flow chart but are precisely what you're asking groups to be. And a word of advice… Be careful to bless them rather than curse them. They may have been put together by God Himself.
09.20.10
Teaching Small Group Members to Pray Aloud
Jesus taught the disciples to pray. Shouldn’t we do the same?
I’ve been in ministry for 36 years now. An unforgettable ministry conversation took place one afternoon after our Sunday gathering of Christ-followers. One of the small group leaders at our church was speaking with me about the growth he was seeing in his small group members. I was already on the edge of my seat but when he told me about one of the members who had prayed aloud for the very first time the week prior I was trounced on by a dancing heart. And as I was driving home that day, my tear ducts got into the game. You see, the “first time out-louder” the small group leader was telling me about has a fantastic wife and two incredible sons. During my drive home that afternoon I realized that these young boys were going to grow up in a home where dad prayed for them at the dinner table, by their beds, on vacation, etc… The list could go on and on. And those kids will do with their own children what they have seen their dad do. Because a small group leader took the time and strategically was teaching his small group members to pray aloud a mountain of believers for generations to come will know what it means to be prayed for by godly, caring parents and as those children realize that God is real and alive they will want to know about His Son Jesus and will most likely choose a relationship with Him.
It is vital that small group leaders teach those in our groups how to pray… aloud.
Below you’ll find a simple step-by-step process that will help you as you teach small group members how to pray aloud.
LEVEL ONE: The Leader prays and models conversational prayer. The term “conversational” is important. Exhibiting a preacher voice, speaking in old English terms, or sounding as though you’ve swallowed a pile of “o pity me’s” will only confuse the small group member who longs to have an authentic relationship with Jesus.
LEVEL TWO: The Leader asks for volunteers and sees who emerges after it has been modeled for a couple of weeks.
LEVEL THREE: The Leader calls on two people to pray who have been volunteering and then the leader closes in prayer.
LEVEL FOUR: The Leader leads the group to “Complete the Sentence.” This could be a sentence like, “God, this is ______, I want to thank you for________, or God, would you help with ________.” The leader lets everyone know that if you prefer to pray silently to God instead of out loud, just let the group know by squeezing the hand of the person next to you (if the group is that close) or say the word ‘Amen’ to indicate you are going to pray silently. This is for those who still haven’t gotten into voicing prayers aloud. This is a giant first step for them.
LEVEL FIVE: The group grows to the place where they can pray conversationally as a group using this method: A prayer request is shared and the group spends time praying "sentence prayers" about that specific request before moving on to the next prayer request.”
You probably noticed that these are baby steps moving toward full-fledged paragraph prayers. In time, this will come naturally.
09.17.10
Answers to the Questions Most Often Asked by First Year Small Group Leaders
First year small group leaders are forced into situations they never thought about when they agreed to become small group leaders. In fact, for some of them, had they known what they were getting into, they might have hesitated to say yes to your request to lead a group. I wanted to give you a few links to blog posts that might answer some of the most often asked questions new leaders might be asking.
Just click on the title to go to a blog post on that particular topic.
What should we do about childcare?
Small Group Childcare, Three Options, Pros and Cons
Small Groups and Childcare, Five Options
What do I do about the overly talkative group member?
Suggestions for Helping the Overly Talkative Group Member
What should I do when most of the small group doesn't show up for the group meeting?
When Only a Few People Show Up for the Group Meeting
Leftover, When a Small Group Gets Smaller
How do I get group members to talk more during the meeting?
The Importance of Conversations Between Meetings
How do I get group members to make a meaningful commitment to the small group?
Small Group Covenants, Why Covenant, How to Covenant
How can I bring our Bible study time to life?
Journeying, Five Necessities for Guiding Your Group Beyond Bible Study
How do we handle confrontation in the group?
Confronting in Small Groups, Wisdom from Joel Comiskey
How do I make sure that our conversational Bible study isn't a night of shared ignorance?
Bible Study, A Night of Shared Ignorance
The Fine Line Between Authenticity and "My Truth"
09.16.10
Tools You Can Turn New Small Group Leaders to for Answers to Their Questions
New small group leaders have many questions that need to be answered. If you're the small group pastor you'll find yourself spending many hours answering the same questions again and again. This isn't a bad thing but it can be avoided. Below are some tools that you may want to make available to your small group leaders, tools that will answer most of the questions your small group leaders will ask of you. Just click on the title to either go to the website or see where to purchase the book.
Consider getting each small group leaders a copy of one of the following books. Each of these is an easy read reference guide for small group leaders.:
- Leading Life-Changing Small Groups by Bill Donahue, http://www.lifeway.com/product/001120924/
- The Pocket Guide to Leading a Small Group by Dave Early and Rod Dempsey, http://www.amazon.com/Pocket-Guide-Leading-Small-Group/dp/0978877926/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1284557167&sr=8-1
- Destination Community: Small Group Ministry Manual by Rick Howerton, http://www.lifeway.com/product/005038477/
Make your small group leaders aware of the following blogs. Each of these has a number of quick reads that answer the questions they may be asking.:
- Allen White's Brookwood Small Groups, http://upstategroups.typepad.com/upstate_groups_blog/small-group-questions/
- Michael Mack's Small Group Leadership, http://smallgroupleadership.blogspot.com/
- Rick Howerton's Small Group World (you're already here)
Connect your small group leaders to the following websites. Before turning your leaders to these websites you'll want to check them out and see what the fees are for utilization of them.:
- Small Group Trader, http://smallgrouptrader.com/Home
- Small Groups .com, http://www.smallgroups.com/
09.15.10
What New Small Group Leaders Need
New small group leaders often find themselves submerged in murky waters. They aren't necessarily drowning in it but they are trying to keep their heads above it and sometimes they are lost in it. Why? Just prior to their first meeting the cringe factor scale peaks. After the first meeting or two the new small group leader is certain she/he has gotten in over their heads. We need to realize what they need and be able to turn them in the right direction.
What do new small group leaders need?
- They need answers to the questions that arise.
- They need someone available, the small group pastor, a coach, etc… to talk to, a human voice to hear theirs and sympathize and empathize with them.
- They need encouragement and someone who has already done what they are doing to remind them that the feelings they are feeling and the questions they have are right and real and normal for any new small group leader.
A few important principles to keep in mind:
- The newer a small group leader is the more of your time they are going to need. Give more of your time to new leaders than well-established leaders and it will pay off.
- New leaders can learn from longer-term leaders. If you don't have a coaching system in place, you may want to connect a new leader with a small group leader who has been in the ranks for a few years. This is a great way to meet the needs of the new small group leader as well as find out which long-term leaders will make good coaches. Use this system to find coaches and create a coaching system.
- Coaches have a window of opportunity to build a mentoring type of relationship with a small group leader in the first eight weeks of small group leadership like no other time. Coaches being available to answer questions, encourage, empathize, and sympathize with the new leader in this window will pay great dividends in the future. Coaches calling up leaders once a week at first to see if they can help them will establish the kind of relationship between coach and leader that you're longing to create.
- People learn best when they "need to know" not when you lead a training session for them. The best learning comes when the cringe factor is high. It is in these moments that people go looking for answers to their questions. New small group leaders will have a lot of questions. Help them find a place or a person who can answer their questions.
09.09.10
My Interview with Boyd Pelley, Small Groups Analytics III, Connecting Every Person in the Ministry
Over the last two days this blog has been featuring an interview with Boyd Pelley. Boyd spearheads Churchteams.com, a web-based ministry helping churches utilize analytics to further God's Kingdom. Picking up where we left off…
Rick: That's fantastic. Hey let me jump back to the bigger picture of analyzing the ministry whole so that the small groups pastor can conclude what aspect of the ministry needs to be shored up. Would you tell us some of the categories of analysis that are required for a small group pastor to gain a correct snapshot of the ministry they're leading?
Boyd: I see the need for snapshots at three levels. First of all, the executive level. This is the most common one people have. Basically it is the number of groups, enrollment and attendance month to month. The second level is the ministry level. This metric shows the consistency rates of each group so that you can see which groups are healthy and which ones are stressed. I know of very few churches doing this without Churchteams. The third level is the individual level that shows leaders and their coaches consistency rates of individuals.
I've mentioned consistency because it is a far better indicator of individual and group health than mere attendance. We call this metric the "low-hanging" fruit because it is relatively easy to capture. Beyond consistency, we are also developing systems to measure things like ownership and spiritual growth progress in a number of areas. There's a lot to this that the next few years will flesh out more clearly.
Rick: You and I both know from working with small group churches, there are at least seven different systems for doing groups, everything from house churches to the free market system. Will Churchteams work for any of those?
Boyd: You know from the very beginning I knew that we'd have to build it for everything from Sunday School to G12 to Free Market systems. Our setup process allows you to customize the language, the tool and morph it so that it exactly reflects the strategy of small groups a church has chosen to use.
Rick: You just mentioned Sunday School. Are a lot of Sunday School churches utilizing this?
Boyd: We're starting to see more and more headed that direction. I have been pleased to see some churches using blended models be so pleased with what the tool does for their off-campus groups that they have moved to using it with their on-campus groups as well. One advantage over the traditional records room model for Sunday School is the way the tool communicates weekly to everyone enrolled. Typical inreach consists of directors and teachers calling folks. It gets awkward to continue calling after 4-5 times, but weekly e-mails showing attendance and sharing class prayer and other information seem to provide the right relational distance for connection without the awkwardness.
09.03.10
Nine Things to Remember When Discipling Men
This past week my church asked if I'd do a session for our men on discipling men. I gotta tell you, it brought about a lot of personal soul-searching. When it was all said and done one of the outcomes was a list of "things to remember" when leading men. The list below may help you as you lead men in your small group, accountability group, or some other kind of group.
- Men need to see a vision. They need a mental image of the final outcome.
- Men need social time, not just meeting times. Social time on the golf course, at the pool hall, on the ball field, etc… is what will make the meeting time come to life.
- Men are warriors and need an enemy to fight and a battle to win. This is just the heart of a man. Be certain they know who the enemy is, Satan.
- Men need a bar raised high. Boredom sets in quickly when a goal is easily attainable.
- Men don't read. Many men are not going to pick up a book and read it. You may be a book junky, they may junk the book.
- Men will dodge real life issues by deflecting and talking about facts. For instance, you might ask a guy what God is teaching him during his daily time with God. His response might be to tell you he had his quiet time three times this week. You'll need to dig deeper.
- Men need a safe place and a safe person to tell real life stuff to but they need time to know they can trust you. You'll need to open the door to this kind of transparency by revealing your stuff first.
- Men will lie to you. Every accountability list I've ever seen had as the last question something like this… "Were any of your responses misleading or all out lies?" Don't declare a man the enemy because of this, he's been taught by society to protect his influence in this way. Simply help him step into the light of honesty so God can redeem his heart.
- Men need MODELS, not INFORMATION.
08.30.10
Visionaries, God-Inspired Visionaries, and Taking Jesus to Every Street and Cul-de-sac
Throughout Christian history there have been Visionaries and there have been God-Inspired Visionaries. Visionaries are people who dream man-accomplishable dreams. God-Inspired visionaries are leaders who see in their mind's eye God-sized, humongous, unsettling, seemingly unattainable obligations. But unlike your run of the mill visionaries, God-Inspired visionaries are unable to consider that the vision God has given them is unattainable. In fact, when others discourage, discount, or try to dismantle the dream God has given them, they move forward undaunted, like a lion already in full pursuit of her prey completely aware that she will run it down and be successful. I spent the weekend in Tracy, California with some God-Inspired Visionaries.
Church leaders from various denominations, differing doctrinal ideologies, trained in seminaries with contradictory considerations have come together with a God-sized vision, to see 1,000 small groups started and accomplishing biblical community in a town of 80,000. I am dreaming this dream with them. Why? Because the passion of God-sized visionaries spills over on anyone who gets close enough to experience the intensity and intentionality of dreamers of this caliber.
Many senior pastors and small group pastors are simply visionaries. They envision having a healthy small group ministry for their church. They organize for it, build teams made up of individuals from their own congregation to make sure the machine runs smoothly, and get paid to do so. They do what the job description says and the Personnel Committee or Elders celebrate that they have a well-oiled small group machine for their one congregation.
Would it be that more small group pastors and senior pastors could become God-sized Visionaries, willing to join other church leaders to take on the entire community, the community where those far from Christ live, on streets and cul-de-sacs, in towns and villages, and urban areas and rural farmlands?
A few characteristics that will be necessary…
- A willingness to go on the adventure of a lifetime
- The courage to discount the dissenters and traditionalists
- An awareness that you will win the war but will be covered with the scars of the battle
- The ability to journey beyond ordinariness and settle in the land of extraordinariness
- A passion so cavernous that you will sacrifice more than those in your circle of relationship believe healthy or right
We can bring Jesus to the world through small groups but only if we can kill our competitive nature, agree that all believers are the church not just those attending my church or those who make up my denomination, embrace a unity of spirit setting aside secondary doctrinal concerns, make Jesus the centerpiece of the message, and become God-sized Visionaries.
I'm praying that there will be more God-sized Visionaries like the senior pastors, small group pastors, and volunteers I spent the weekend with in Tracy, California. Why? What is now "small group ministry" just might become a movement!
08.25.10
Six Practical Musts for any Small Group Ministry that Flourishes
I continue to hear of churches stating, "Small groups don't work." Reviewing the churches I've worked with I realized there are six consistent musts every church should do if they are going to have an effective small group ministry. Here they are…
Choose the right person to spearhead the small group ministry. The individual spearheading a small group ministry must be a proactive leader! They must be entrepreneurial, systems knowledgeable, strategy driven, with an unapologetically vehement passion for people. At the same time he/she must be able to create a blueprint for the ministry, build the ministry, and rebuild it if necessary while the vehicle is in motion. She/he must be secure enough to build a team that will shore up his/her weaknesses and be courageous enough to move the entire team in the direction the wave of God's work is going, even if it means revisiting the original plan.
Establish the primary principles and practices of your small group ministry. Getting the right principles and practices established is a necessity. Instill these in leaders at all levels of the small group ministry.
Separate from past paradigms and fully embrace small group life. Many people who really want to be great small group leaders are held captive by past experience. They have been Sunday School teachers or been involved with a 12 Step group or have been the leader of an Adult Bible Fellowship. If not well-trained (maybe retrained) they will revert back to that which is most comfortable, the group type they have been in or led in the past.
Don't develop the small group ministry too quickly. Many churches have demanded a small group ministry be birthed and be developing mature believers in just a few months. This is like asking a twenty-five year old woman to give birth to a child and, in two months, make sure that child looks like, acts like, and reproduces like a twenty-five year old woman. This is impossible. Juan Ramon Jimenez once wrote, "The great assassin of life is haste, the desire to reach things before the right time…" Building a foundation for a small group ministry is all about developing leaders and that takes time.
Realize that curriculum is not the key to life-transforming small groups. Discipleship is not knowledge based, it is relationally based. Curriculum is vital to spiritual growth but it is only one tool in the tool box. Churches who simply stick people in a small group as they work through another study will not ultimately make mature disciples. Being with people, doing life with them, journeying together, allowing group members to model the faith for one another, learning to practice the spiritual disciplines, learning to live in community, each group member using the spiritual gifts they have been given, and diving headlong into the processing of God's Words together, etc... are all part of the discipleship journey.
Don't promise those that join a small group that they will find their "friends" in their small group. Friendships are created when people have chemistry with one another and this doesn't always happen in a small group. Announce that the goal of a small group is to make disciples.
