CATEGORIES
Outreach
10.05.10
Three Options for Handling Unofficial Small Groups
Every high-quality small group ministry will have unofficial small groups, groups that start on their own after seeing what your organized groups are doing or groups of people who are living out biblical community organically. When the small group pastor is made aware of these groups there is one of three ways to handle these groups.
- Allow the group to continue as they are without interruption. Pray for these groups and honor them as gifts from God.
- Approach the most influential person in the group (or the designated group leader). Let them know that you would be honored if the group would consider becoming part of the small group system. Point out the advantages of becoming part of the church's small group ministry. Be sure to include training opportunities, a coach to help them in their growth as a leader, financial assistance from the church (if your church does assist in the purchase of materials or other things), networking with a other small group leaders, ongoing encouragement, and assistance with childcare (if your church aids in finding individuals to do childcare or financial assistance is available in paying for childcare).
- Allow the group to continue without interruption utilizing the group when the church is doing church-wide campaigns. If you believe it will enhance the church's ministry, at the end of each campaign invite the unofficial small group to join the church's small group ministry. In most instances the group leader will be more likely to consider this following a campaign as the leader has experienced what it feels like to be part of the small group team.
09.10.10
My Interview With Boyd Pelley, Small Groups Analytics IV, Churchteams.com... So Much More than just Small Groups
Today we're wrapping up a four day interview with Boyd Pelley. Boyd created Churchteams.com, a web-based analytic tool for small group ministries. It has become so much more. This is a tool that will not only enhance your small group ministry, it will make your church much more efficient and effective.
Rick: We've talked a lot about using Churchteams.com for analysis, what are some other benefits of churchteams?
Boyd: Well communication is huge. A church can text and email as well as send postcards and letters to the whole church, any group, set of groups or set of members with just a few clicks. It's really easy. Imagine a bad weather day being able to send an email or even text message to everyone in the church that a service is canceled from the pastor's home computer. Or what about a last minute change of plans for a small group where even email is too slow and text messaging is needed. You can imagine how much our student ministries love texting.
In addition, so many people have enjoyed Churchteams for small groups and they wanted us to expand it to be a full database. So we did that a couple of years ago. Now you can track membership, assimilation, contributions, children's check-in, recruitment, reporting, event sign ups and anything else a traditional Church Management System does. The only exceptions are accounting and calendaring. There are some great reasons we've not done these, but anything membership related, we can do. By the way, all for the same price. No extra cost for modules or training or support. It's all included.
Rick: So it does track contributions?
Boyd: Yes. Besides the obvious reason of needing to track individual contributions for tax statements, we wanted to include giving as one of the factors involved in evaluating spiritual growth. We're working on some innovative ideas on how to do this, but I'll save that for later.
Rick: Will Churchteams.com work for a church of 50?
Boyd: Yes. It will. Not just for small groups, but everything related to church membership including contributions. Small churches sometimes don't think they need a church database, but in reality web-based software makes it possible for any volunteer to help with whatever role they have to help with the church. This can be a tremendous help even for church plants with nothing more than a core team getting ready to launch.
Rick: Will it work for a church of 20,000?
Boyd: Four of the largest ten churches in the United States use Churchteams for their small groups. We don't yet have any churches running over 2,000 using it for a full database. But, I imagine that day will come in the next couple of years. In August, we had one church put 2,600 people in small groups using Churchteams.
Rick: Boyd, tell us about the cost. What can you tell church leaders about the cost of Churchteams.com?
Boyd: I managed a church budget for six years as the church administrator. I know church finances feel tight whether the budget is $12,000 or $12 million. A big church might have a $5 million budget. That would be a very small business. We wanted our pricing to enable the best stewardship possible for churches not reflect typical business pricing. So, for most of a decade we built the tool as a labor of love essentially front-ending development costs. That allows us to provide the highest possible quality tool for an incredibly reasonable price about 10-40% of other comparable web-based solutions. Here's a link to our prices. If any or your readers are interested, please invite them to join me for a webinar. I do like 5 a week.
09.09.10
My Interview with Boyd Pelley, Small Groups Analytics III, Connecting Every Person in the Ministry
Over the last two days this blog has been featuring an interview with Boyd Pelley. Boyd spearheads Churchteams.com, a web-based ministry helping churches utilize analytics to further God's Kingdom. Picking up where we left off…
Rick: That's fantastic. Hey let me jump back to the bigger picture of analyzing the ministry whole so that the small groups pastor can conclude what aspect of the ministry needs to be shored up. Would you tell us some of the categories of analysis that are required for a small group pastor to gain a correct snapshot of the ministry they're leading?
Boyd: I see the need for snapshots at three levels. First of all, the executive level. This is the most common one people have. Basically it is the number of groups, enrollment and attendance month to month. The second level is the ministry level. This metric shows the consistency rates of each group so that you can see which groups are healthy and which ones are stressed. I know of very few churches doing this without Churchteams. The third level is the individual level that shows leaders and their coaches consistency rates of individuals.
I've mentioned consistency because it is a far better indicator of individual and group health than mere attendance. We call this metric the "low-hanging" fruit because it is relatively easy to capture. Beyond consistency, we are also developing systems to measure things like ownership and spiritual growth progress in a number of areas. There's a lot to this that the next few years will flesh out more clearly.
Rick: You and I both know from working with small group churches, there are at least seven different systems for doing groups, everything from house churches to the free market system. Will Churchteams work for any of those?
Boyd: You know from the very beginning I knew that we'd have to build it for everything from Sunday School to G12 to Free Market systems. Our setup process allows you to customize the language, the tool and morph it so that it exactly reflects the strategy of small groups a church has chosen to use.
Rick: You just mentioned Sunday School. Are a lot of Sunday School churches utilizing this?
Boyd: We're starting to see more and more headed that direction. I have been pleased to see some churches using blended models be so pleased with what the tool does for their off-campus groups that they have moved to using it with their on-campus groups as well. One advantage over the traditional records room model for Sunday School is the way the tool communicates weekly to everyone enrolled. Typical inreach consists of directors and teachers calling folks. It gets awkward to continue calling after 4-5 times, but weekly e-mails showing attendance and sharing class prayer and other information seem to provide the right relational distance for connection without the awkwardness.
09.08.10
My Interview with Boyd Pelley, Small Groups Analytics II, Saving Your Ministry Money
One of my favorite guys in the small group space is Boyd Pelley. Boyd spearheads Churchteams.com, an on-line analytics website for churches doing groups. I once mentioned to Boyd just how important his role in the small group world was. I said it this way, "Without record-keeping we wouldn't know what was really going on." Over the next few minutes Boyd schooled me on the difference between "analytics" and "record-keeping." When he had finished I realized that every small group ministry that wants to flourish needs a strategic plan for gaining information about every group and using that information to reach optimal effectiveness.
Yesterday Boyd told us why analytics are essential. For many of us, if they save us money they become an essential. Check this out…
Rick: In order for a small group pastor to know what is broken and what needs to be fixed, they must first be willing to find out what is present reality. Why do you think some small group pastors are hesitant to do what is necessary to gain that information?
Boyd: Historically the logistics to collect the kind of data we're collecting today just wasn't there or it cost too much to do. Most small group pastors think the idea of trying to get weekly feedback from leaders is crazy and impossible. I know. I was one of them. We do a simple version of this for Sunday School, but the idea of doing it for decentralized ministry was overwhelming.
A second reason is that most pastors don't have the training, personality or spiritual gifting it takes to put together data in a truly meaningful way. This is where we come in. Software is really good at that stuff. Using today's technology, we automate for pastors both the logistics and the collated information they need.
Thirdly, there has always been a discussion about numbers in the church and using business systems. We've relied way to heavily on attendance and giving as spiritual indicators and intuitively most pastors know there is more to the story. So, there is legitimate skepticism that these metrics are telling the full story.
Rick: Okay, here's the deal. I'm working with hundreds of small group pastors, time is always an issue for these very busy pastors. So… how many days a week would it take for a small group pastor to gain the information, analyze the information and utilize the information that Churchteams will give them?
Boyd: The few churches that are trying to do it, with as few as 20 groups, hire part time staff just to make all the phone calls and manage their accounting-based info systems. We completely automate all of that for you by empowering leaders to communicate well and in the process provide the necessary info updates and summaries. If I were going to put a number to it, I would say you would need to hire someone an hour per group per month and provide them training in analytics to be able to put together equivalent feedback … maybe.
Rick: So you're saying then, with churchteams, that a church won't need to hire part-time staff yet they can still acquire and utilize the information as if they had taken on additional staff?
Boyd: Exactly. All the small group pastor has to do is open up his inbox and he can pray over the groups that met the night before and reply to the leader or forward to coaches and staff. We provide 4 steps to set up the system and a video on how to train leaders. Then the software is designed to run itself and to collect that information. Not only will it save them staff hires, it will also help them use their limited time most effectively.
08.30.10
Visionaries, God-Inspired Visionaries, and Taking Jesus to Every Street and Cul-de-sac
Throughout Christian history there have been Visionaries and there have been God-Inspired Visionaries. Visionaries are people who dream man-accomplishable dreams. God-Inspired visionaries are leaders who see in their mind's eye God-sized, humongous, unsettling, seemingly unattainable obligations. But unlike your run of the mill visionaries, God-Inspired visionaries are unable to consider that the vision God has given them is unattainable. In fact, when others discourage, discount, or try to dismantle the dream God has given them, they move forward undaunted, like a lion already in full pursuit of her prey completely aware that she will run it down and be successful. I spent the weekend in Tracy, California with some God-Inspired Visionaries.
Church leaders from various denominations, differing doctrinal ideologies, trained in seminaries with contradictory considerations have come together with a God-sized vision, to see 1,000 small groups started and accomplishing biblical community in a town of 80,000. I am dreaming this dream with them. Why? Because the passion of God-sized visionaries spills over on anyone who gets close enough to experience the intensity and intentionality of dreamers of this caliber.
Many senior pastors and small group pastors are simply visionaries. They envision having a healthy small group ministry for their church. They organize for it, build teams made up of individuals from their own congregation to make sure the machine runs smoothly, and get paid to do so. They do what the job description says and the Personnel Committee or Elders celebrate that they have a well-oiled small group machine for their one congregation.
Would it be that more small group pastors and senior pastors could become God-sized Visionaries, willing to join other church leaders to take on the entire community, the community where those far from Christ live, on streets and cul-de-sacs, in towns and villages, and urban areas and rural farmlands?
A few characteristics that will be necessary…
- A willingness to go on the adventure of a lifetime
- The courage to discount the dissenters and traditionalists
- An awareness that you will win the war but will be covered with the scars of the battle
- The ability to journey beyond ordinariness and settle in the land of extraordinariness
- A passion so cavernous that you will sacrifice more than those in your circle of relationship believe healthy or right
We can bring Jesus to the world through small groups but only if we can kill our competitive nature, agree that all believers are the church not just those attending my church or those who make up my denomination, embrace a unity of spirit setting aside secondary doctrinal concerns, make Jesus the centerpiece of the message, and become God-sized Visionaries.
I'm praying that there will be more God-sized Visionaries like the senior pastors, small group pastors, and volunteers I spent the weekend with in Tracy, California. Why? What is now "small group ministry" just might become a movement!
08.09.10
What the Evangelical Small Group World can Learn from Anne Rice
This week, Anne Rice, author of 28 books including Interview with a Vampire, one of the best-selling novels of all time announced, "For those who care, and I understand if you don't: Today I quit being a Christian. I'm out." Before you declare her once again an atheist, an ideology she once embraced but set aside in 1998 but then returned to the Catholic Church, read another statement made this week, "I remain committed to Christ as always but not to being 'Christian' or to being part of Christianity. It's simply impossible for me to 'belong' to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten years, I've tried. I've failed. I'm an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else." She goes on to cite her reasons for exiting the church, "In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. In the name of Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian. Amen."
Anne's statements reveal what many people's perception of today's church is.
- She is made up of a quarrelsome people.
- She is hostile to those whose moral values differ from her own.
- She is prone to argue and debate.
- She is an infamous group having a poor reputation with those outside of her ranks.
- Due to the reputation noted in the four points above many people's conscience will not allow them to continue to be associated with her.
Anne's statements also unmask some misunderstandings concerning those who are being the church as Jesus designed her to be.
- The church is not anti-Democrat (although I must confess, way too many followers of Christ equate being a Christian with being a Republican). She does find it her obligation to be a conscience to the community and will contradict either party when they espouse legislation contradicting God's expectations found in the Bible.
- The church is not anti-women. She embraces gender equality and the roles of each gender as they believe God designed them to be.
- The church is not anti-artificial birth. In fact, most denominations have no regulations against artificial birth control.
- The church is not anti-gay. She loves those who are gay and is willing to walk alongside anyone held captive by any sin as they journey towards freedom from that sin. Jesus-like followers of Christ embrace meaningful relationship with those who are living a gay lifestyle even if they are not striving to find the freedom Christ offers.
- The church is anti-secular humanism as secular humanism is a world-view that contradicts a biblical world-view. A biblical world-view is God's design so that humankind can be reunited with Him and so that humankind can exist in a safe environment as laws are built around the values found in the bible, values unveiled by God for the benefit of all people.
- The church is not anti-science as science proves the existence of God.
- The church is not anti-life, in fact she is pro-life for the unborn, for those who are in the process of dying, and exists so that everyone on planet earth has an opportunity to experience eternal life.
What Anne Rice is Telling the Evangelical Small Group World:
- Welcome those far from God into your inner circle/small group/home. While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:10-13
- When inviting not-yet-followers-of Christ to your group, welcome them into your home to discuss spiritual matters, don't mention the name of your church or that your church sponsors the group.
- Be careful to speak more of Jesus than you do your church. Those far from God or those who have been spiritually abused by the church will shut down the conversation if they think you represent the organized church.
- Utilize the spiritual gifts of both men and women in group life. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10
- Exhibit humility and think more highly of others than yourself when hosting a conversational Bible study. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philip. 2:3-4
- Don't allow foolish debates during group gatherings. "Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels." 2 Tim. 2:23
- Don't allow discussions on political matters during group gatherings.
07.31.10
The Last Video... Saying Goodbye to a Discipleship Phenom... Thanks Avery
I was given oversight of the large group gatherings for a four day groups conference. From the very outset I knew we needed to honor and elevate those who had lived out Paul's most telling words to his protégé Timothy, " And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others." (2 Timothy 2:2) After all, this is one of the premiere responsibilities of every small group leader. I was simply seeking a four minute video of someone who had lived out 2 Timothy 2:2. I seldom use these terms but, "I was prompted by the Holy Spirit" to ask Avery Willis to be that person. I didn't know at the time just how significant that video would be.
You see, Avery was battling leukemia and was in the hospital. As we communicated it became apparent that getting these poignant four minutes was going to be difficult. He was very sick, I couldn't afford to get a crew to do the shoot, and we only had a few days to get this footage. Avery suggested we contact FBC Springdale, Arkansas. After all, they were right across the street from the hospital. Maybe they could do the shoot and e-mail the video file. I called with fear and trepidation. I was certain that, if they had a tech team, they were very busy people and would probably let me know they were unable to help. Just the opposite was true. Without any hesitation at all the leader of that team told me he'd send someone to do this for us… at no charge. We will forever be indebted to them.
You see… the short four minute video was Avery's last opportunity to cast vision for disciple-making. His home-going to heaven took place yesterday. In case you don't know the name Avery Willis, please allow me to share a few paragraphs from the obituary created by LifeWay Christian Resources where he worked for some years.
Willis retired as senior vice president for overseas operations of the International Mission Board in 2004. Prior to that appointment, he led the adult discipleship training department at the Sunday School Board (now LifeWay Christian Resources). "MasterLife" training materials have now been translated into more than 50 languages and continue to be published by LifeWay.
"The author of 'MasterLife' is with the Master," said Thom Rainer, president of LifeWay. "Avery Willis was a Baptist statesman 'par excellence.' His contribution to the cause of missions and missions education will have sustained impact for generations to come. He will be missed by all, and my prayer is that the Lord raises up others to continue where he left off for the cause of global missions and kingdom growth. I remember with gratitude the value of his ministry to my own life, especially through 'MasterLife' and his insightful book 'Biblical Basis of Missions.'"
In January of this year, Willis was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia. Doctors, however, were surprised by a quicker-than-expected remission in February, which allowed Willis to return his attention to discipleship. During the next several months, he campaigned for a return to the Bible storying form of discipleship. Often used as a discipleship tool among oral cultures, Willis believed Bible storying could be an effective method in the U.S. as well.
Willis and other proponents of this discipleship method organized DNA 21: Reclaiming Discipleship in the 21st Century, which launched with a webcast from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary in April.
Also while at LifeWay, Willis was instrumental in the release of "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby and Claude King, another important Bible study resource that has now been translated into more than 70 languages and recently celebrated its 20th anniversary in print.
We showed that four minute video at a worship experience during the conference, it was shot at the hospital. It was shown at a time when Avery himself was tweeting of his soon to be arrival with Christ in heaven. Claude King, co-author of Experiencing God and a man who himself was greatly affected by Avery quoted these verses when describing Avery's life, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day…" (2 Tim. 4:7-8a) Claude spoke with Avery on my behalf the day before his passing. Some were asking for the video so they could show it at their church. I wanted to make sure Avery was good with our distributing it. His response, "Distribute it freely." And so, here it is, Avery Willis' final message to all of us concerning discipleship.
Avery, thanks. We are forever indebted to you.
To see the video click on the link below to download.
07.29.10
Falling Out of an Airplane... Stories That Inspire and Instruct Small Group Members Are Vital
Real stories from real people inspire group members, create heroes for them, and are a model of what God can and will do if we are keeping our eyes open. Reading stories like the one you find below to your group members is like handing them a list of things to do. The difference, the list tells them what to do and is just more "instructional material." A story captures the heart while giving direction. I promise you, the story/heart is much more likely to motivate to action than the list.
Falling out of an Airplane, What Really Happened to Deb Douglas
Clumsy. No grace. That would be me. I fell out of a plane and went tarmac diving in Atlanta Hartsfield. I was on my way to Ridgecrest, NC to teach on small groups but I took an unplanned "trip". It was not a
vacation. Sections of the deplaning ramp were overlapping with the last section at a strange angle. My shoe caught in the gap and I went flying without a plane. The weight of my laptop in my backpack pushed me hard toward the grit, gravel, and grunginess of the gate area, continuing gravity's path over my head, slowing only when it collided with my neck, before landing onto the tarmac. The result was a crashed laptop, tarmac rash, bruises, sprained wrist, and a torn ligament. It could have been worse. Minutes later there's a fire truck, ambulance, 6 paramedics, police, and several supervisors.
That trip set into motion a series of events that I can only describe as God waves. Arriving in Ridgecrest, I was met by a car service driver for the 40-minute ride. After a quick stop for a burger, the driver announced he had calculated the number of his days left on this earth. I really wanted to focus on me and my pain; it was one of those kinds of moments. But this man had been put in my path for a
reason so I dove into listening to this man's concern and sharing truth with him. The number of days on this earth are not a matter of concern to me because my eternity began the day I asked Jesus to be my Lord. The driver continued to talk about death. I shared how God loves us and desires all of our days to be spent living in relationship with Him. As he pulled up to the doors at the camp, the driver said I was different than most of the people he drove, even those he had driven out to the camp in the past. I asked him why; his answer was the way I talked about God, as if He was real.
Two days later, I'm waiting for my ride back to the airport. The same driver pulls up in the midst of a mountain-rattling thunderstorm. Within seconds of stowing my umbrella and getting settled, the driver
tells me again how many days he has left on this planet. He's rattled from a near collision on the interstate. I comment about his obsession with death. He shared how his mother had said he could never go to heaven because of his life choices. He believed in God but could not accept a Jesus that would exclude him from heaven. I told him how much God loves all of us, no matter our choices, our sins. God is eager to forgive and be in a relationship with us. I explained how that relationship begins. At this moment, the man pulled the car over; tears are turning his eyes red. He says he can accept what I am saying
because he said he could see it in my eyes. He turns away and when he returns his gaze to me, he said, "you have changed my life." He had crossed the line of faith. I got to be the one who showed him how to get over his fear, to find the truth in the midst of lies.
I left the car rejoicing. If I'd done what I wanted to do after the fall, I would have gotten right back on the plane and headed home. But I had an appointment, a divine appointment. Feeling like I'd done what I had come to do, I settled in to wait for my delayed flight back to Atlanta. The possibility of making the Atlanta-Shreveport flight was slim but I hobbled my way through the airport. Arriving at the gate, I discovered the flight was held for me. I was in unbelief. I'm the person who stands and watches the plane she's suppose to be on lift off into the sunset, not have it wait an extra 15 minutes for me to arrive. As I make my way to the one remaining seat, I thanked all the growling passengers, unhappy to have had to wait for this person wrapped up in bandages.
I make it to my seat, and turn to thank the young man seated next to me. As our eyes meet, he says, "What's your philosophy on life?" For the next hour and a half, I answered questions centering on how to not only know who Jesus is historically but personally. He listened, talked through his previous perceptions, and relayed his story. The flight ended before he came to a place of acceptance. He thanked me, accepted my card, and said he saw things differently after our conversation.
If I hadn't had the fall, Delta would not have held the flight for me. I would not have had the opportunity to tell a young man that Jesus desires a relationship and how to make that happen. To be honest, if my hand hadn't been injured, I would have been on my phone, checking emails and texting instead of engaging in conversation with the car service driver.
Maybe it's like this: life gets busy. A little bump creates waves that take you places you would never imagine…away from the busy. Walking with Christ is about being read to ride the waves to where ever they are taking you. The choice is to either see the waves as a destructive tsunami or the wave that will give you the perfect ride. I'd rather surf the waves!
06.29.10
Defining a Big Church
This week Claude King and I are with twenty something people from FBC Braymer, Missouri. This incredible church has an average attendance of about 110. But this is a very big church. Let me see if I can give you a few markers for what I'm thinking is a big church (at least my thoughts today).
A big church…
- is made up of real, authentic people who know they are a family, and prove it as they go about accomplishing tasks.
- has a humble pastor. A person who relates as an equal and knows when to put on the leader hat.
- realizes she is the bride of Christ and is preparing for His return by discipling one another.
- has a strong percentage of her membership leading and learning to lead.
- is telling others about Jesus while becoming like Him themselves.
- has major influence in the community where God has placed her. FBC Braymer Missouri has an average attendance of 110 but is located in a community of 900 people.
Bob Russell, retired pastor of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY (a mega mega church) once told me that one of the roles of the local church is to be a conscience for the community. Imagine how much influence a church of 110 has in a community of 900 people.
Rural pastor, you are vital to the Kingdom of God and you probably pastor a very big church.
06.23.10
How to Get and Keep Men in Small Groups, Six Necessities
Some men just don’t like small groups. I can’t blame them. Those of us who write about and train people to lead groups are guilty of asking a group leader to create an environment that would drive a man’s man to clean the house before attending a small group meeting. A few suggestions:
1. When listing the goals of a small group never use the term “intimacy.” This will make most men cringe. It will make a man’s man run.
2. When working on a group covenant together, make certain the men in the group are engaged in the conversation. They may remain silent. Their silence may mean that they are hearing the conversation but they aren’t necessarily committing to the covenant. They need ownership of the covenant in order to commit to it. They will only sense ownership if they are given the right to push back and find some give when they do.
3. Give the men in the group more time than the females in the group to begin revealing who they really are. Men are apt to talk in facts and clichés for a long period of time before ever giving an opinion about a biblical passage or unveiling what’s going on in their personal lives. Don’t rush it. If you want to speed up the process subgroup into two groups, a men’s subgroup and a women’s subgroup. Men are more open to talking about their life situations, struggles, and sins when women aren’t listening in.
4. When deciding on social experiences suggest things the men in the group get excited about. Go camping, fishing, hunting, paintballing, to a ballgame, etc… When a group leader suggests experiences like these the men in the group subconsciously recognize this group is going to work for them.
5. Take pleasure in sarcasm and laughter. We men are notorious for turning a meeting into a brawl, a weekly reenactment of the film Animal House. We love to harass one another and laugh at one another. Don’t let this get out of hand but don’t demand the environment of a wake either. If you give men freedom to laugh and tease early in the meeting they will seldom be angry or disappointed if you ask them to calm it down during the Bible study and prayer times.
6. Unless everyone is in agreement, don’t demand homework from group members or that they read a book. Very few men are readers and even fewer are willing to do homework. This may be possible in time but not as the group first starts meeting together.
