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December 2009
Not sure if this time of year causes you to reflect like it does me. I take a good bit of vacation time in December. I spend time doing some of nothing, some projects, and listening to God as I seek His direction for 2010. I am not one to make lots of New Year’s resolutions, but I do consider where I’ve been in the current year and where God might be directing for the next one.
Looking back, I see relationships that have grown, some that have been difficult, others just starting. There are events that have been highlights and others that were more of a challenge. I see God’s hand throughout each one. My prayer is that in 2010, not one event will be handled any other way but His way, and leaders will be blessed, encouraged as well as equipped through each one.
There is also a bit of uncertainty as the new year approaches…what will it bring, what joys and challenges will I face. This time last year I had no idea that I’d lose my mom in 2009 and a week later on our 38th anniversary celebration weekend we would find out my husband had lost his job. But God has been faithful every single step of the way!
Our time is in His hands (Ps. 31:15 NKJV) If we believe that, we should live like we do! What are you thinking as the year is ending and a new one is beginning? Where do you want Him to work in your spiritual life this next year? Write it down (and feel free to share it here), pray over it and watch Him work. This time next year, reflect to see what He has done!
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Ever had a Christmas where you had to laugh to keep from crying? You might still be giggling about something that happened at your house this year or years past.
We still laugh when we recall the year I’d worked long and hard to pick just the right gifts, wrapped them carefully and placed them beneath the tree so we could get curious and excited about what was in them. Our twins were in middle school or perhaps even late elementary school, but old enough to be left at home alone for short periods.
One night I was sitting on the couch and noticing how sloppily I’d wrapped the gifts. I looked closer only to see masking tape. Now I’ve NEVER used masking tape on a wrapped gift! After some investigating, I found out one of my twins had unwrapped every gift to both girls while the other twin just watched. Now, they knew everything they were getting for Christmas! I was furious at the time, but it has become a fun memory for all of us.
What are your funniest Christmas experiences? Did you capture it on video? If so, send to us. If you win the funniest video, you will win a prize!
This time last year, my mom was living at an assisted living facility, fell and shattered her shoulder and broke several ribs. We didn’t even know it for a couple of days, but just said her side hurt. We aren’t sure how she fell, nor could she tell us because of her dementia. After an x-ray, she was hospitalized for about a week. When she returned to her home, she never fully regained her strength.
We celebrated Christmas in her room last year since she was unable to come to our house. After our kids and grandkids opened presents and ate lunch at our house, one daughter decided to visit my mom. She felt compelled to tell her husband to go on home and leave her there to visit longer.
Someone had brought a litter of puppies to the home and my daughter got one for mom to hold. My mom loved dogs and always had one until she moved into The Terrace. That puppy slept for hours by my mom’s side while my daughter sat and watched.
I arrived later to bring my mom presents and Christmas dinner. She didn’t have a lot of interest in either. But she knew that puppy was there.
Because she got out of the hospital so quickly and did not develop pneumonia, we were sure she was on the road to recovery. We were not prepared when her caretakers called one Sunday morning as we were returning from church that she was not responsive. We arrived 5 minutes later but she had already gone on to the Father’s arms.
This year will be different for us. Mentally, we lost the mom I knew about 3 years before she died, but physically it’s only been less than a year. The joy I find even as I weep knowing this year, she celebrates with Jesus face to face. You can’t beat that!
Our LifeWay Christmas Chapel was yesterday. The story was about a family who had lost their mom the past year and they would be trying to figure out how to “do it” without her. I held it together till the last song, Christmas in Heaven. Without a tissue, and with a friend weeping in sympathy, I lost it. But the message of hope in this song is what makes this Christmas wonderful, even though Mom is not here with us in the flesh.
If you are experiencing a first Christmas following the death of a loved one, or even a divorce or other broken relationship, pray for the peace that passes all understanding (Phil 4:7) . Rejoice that He is faithful no matter what we are facing this year (Heb. 10:23). Allow others to minister to you and hold on to the hope that is within! He will not fail you or me, and for that we love and adore Him!"
If you are like me, you are surrounded young women and often you just don’t relate to them because you are not sure what their reaction will be if you talk about your faith, or you aren’t sure you have the right answers for all their questions. Many of these young women in your midst just have not found a personal walk with Christ. But, LifeWay research says that most young adults are very open to talking about spiritual issues. We just have to take the step to engage them in conversation and building relationships.
Here are some practical ways to start that process.
1. Complement for their interest and concern in spirituality. Tell them how excited you are that they are seeking spiritual answers to their life questions. Remind them that we all have a spiritual “hole” in our souls that must be filled. Ask them about their beliefs before you begin sharing yours.
2. Communicate through stories and personal experiences. Share with them a struggle you have had that connects with their struggle. Then talk about how you had strength to navigate that time in your life. For me, it’s hard not to be transparent. I wear my feelings on my face! When we began a challenge with our daughter during her teen years, I didn’t hide it and because I didn’t I was ministered to. As a young woman, I had an older woman who shared with me her experiences of a struggle with a daughter. I watched her walk in faith years before our issues arose. But her willingness to share with me made a huge difference in my own challenge. So for me, my stories of life and how they connect to God’s Word in my life are a natural way to communicate.
3. Embrace the Scriptures enthusiastically. If you are excited about sharing a passage of scripture that meant something powerful to you, you will encourage her to want to seek out what the Bible says about her need as well. I remember when Romans 4:20-21 jumped out at me and became a life line during a difficult time in ministry. I was quoting it to everyone who would listen! If you’ve studied the scriptures for a long time, you have a wealth of wisdom to share!
4. Focus on Jesus. As has been shared in several books recently, young adults like Jesus, they just don’t necessarily like the church. Talk about Jesus’ love for those He lived with and ministered to. Share the stories of his healing of the centurion’s son or the woman with the issues of blood. Talk about His love for the Samaritan woman.
5. Build relationships and community. Get to know young adult women personally, not just as your “project” to get them to church, but to really know who they are, what their lives are like, what they like and don’t like, what their successes and struggles are. When we had a young adult women’s panel last fall at our women’s forum, one woman said please don’t look at her as a “project”. Look as me as a woman, get to know me, care about me as a person more than as your project to get into the church. Doors to share your faith will open as you naturally get to know these women.
6. Encourage worship through drama, video, art, and music. Young adults today love all the media they can get their hands on. Why not use these to your advantage? Biblical worship can take many forms so don’t limit yourself to only one. If you don’t know how to use all the technology, what a wonderful way to connect with these young women! They do know how!
7. Listen to them for ideas of missions, ministry, and worship. As you talk to young adult women, hear their hearts for their community and the world. Find ways to connect their concerns with opportunities to serve. Perhaps you know a young woman who has had an abortion. As she has healed, perhaps she now wants to help other women see alternatives to abortion if they are in a crisis pregnancy. If you have a crisis pregnancy center in your community, find a way to volunteer with her to help her use her experience to help another woman. Your missions leaders may be able to help you with a variety of ideas about community or even international ministry. One church changed their direction for women’s ministry when they asked the young women why they didn’t come to the women’s activities. What they found out was that these women did not just want to be in Bible study, they wanted to be out in the community helping to make a difference using their passions and spiritual gifts.
8. Provide interactive small groups and Bible studies. There are many resources that help young adult women grow in their walk with Christ. Make sure these small groups focus on the Bible and interaction to discuss what each participant is learning. LifeWay offers many Threads young adult bible study resources. Young women want to talk about what they are learning, not just listening to what you are teaching. They want to discuss, ask questions and talk about what they know about it.
9. Focus on accomplishing tasks. Work together with a group of young adult women who are trying to do something so big that only with God’s help and a group of women can this be accomplished. One group from my church has a ministry called Divine Do-Overs. They find a woman in need and then together with their group they have done a room make-over, painted houses, and done other projects as needed. One couldn’t do it alone, but when they pooled their areas of expertise they are able to accomplish a huge task.
10. Listen to what the young women are saying. Sometimes it’s hard for older women to stop and just listen to young adult women. But if we do not listen, we will probably not reach them. Take a young women to coffee and just listen to her life. Ask her for suggestions for small groups and ministry ideas.
11. Express genuine humility and love. As leaders, if we do not serve in humility and love as Christ does, we will never reach the young women of today. They want to see our hearts and our hurts. They need to know the older women have not arrived. We have much to learn and much of that can even be learned from young adult women!
Watch this video with Jason Hayes for more insights on young adults.
Have you ever wondered why young women are not attending your Bible studies? I have been frustrated in the past because I thought what we were offering was very relevant and exciting. And it was, for me and women in my stage of life! But when I began to study about the different generations and what reached them, it made so much more sense to me. We expect to offer all lecture type groups, or “circles” that still ready older women, and that younger women will flock to them! NOT! Or at least not many. Sometimes we just scratch our heads and say, they just aren’t interested in Bible study, or spiritual growth, or mentoring. That is FAR from the truth.
Women today want a more laid back feel when they get together with other women. That’s not to say the other groups are not still valid for some women. Keep them, but add others to it that will reach women you aren’t already successfully involving in fellowship and discipleship opportunities.
Many more “seasoned” leaders are concerned that younger women won’t be challenged to mature if they only “give them what they want” right now. Perhaps there is some truth in that concern. But the first thing we must do is build relationships with young women so we at least know who they are and what their lives are like. As we proceed, we will want to draw women into deeper and deeper walks with Christ and into His service as a result.
HERE IS WHAT YOUNG WOMEN WANT
Research has indicated that young adults love to fully experience studying the Word of God by reading it, studying it, talking about it, wrestling with it and applying it. Some of the findings were discovered in research conducted by LifeWay.
HERE IS WHAT CAN WORK FOR ALL WOMEN
Psalm 34:8 tells us to, “Taste and see that the Lord is good. How happy is the man who takes refuge in Him!” There are several things we can do to encourage young women to fully “taste” Scripture.
• Environments
Turn a class room into a multi-sensory experience? Add a candle, some worship music, maybe homemade cookies or brownies. Provide couches and chairs, or pillows on the floor for a cozy homelike feeling. This makes the atmosphere safe and encourages women of all ages to share their burdens and build relationships.
• Conversation
Young women want to ask you questions, tell you what they think and share with you their struggles to follow God’s ways continually. Allow plenty of discussion time to debrief the scriptures and share personal stories. Build community into the group, not only between you and the class, but between class members as well. Help them see the group as a family who will pray for them, listen to them, help them and invest in their lives. Most older women are very willing to answer the questions of younger women if we provide the occasion.
• Variety
Routine can become boring. Occasionally add a short video clip, bring an item for Illustration or ask someone to give a short personal testimony dealing with the scriptures you are studying. No one likes same old, same old, no matter the age. Don’t over-do, make it simple, but add something different occasionally to keep from being too predictable.
• Music is important
Connect music to the lesson at hand. When you hear a song that stirs your heart, bring your IPOD and speakers to share with the class. Talk about how important music is to our study and our worship. Not all women will like all styles, so be sensitive and offer a variety of types of music,
• Application
Weekly, challenge women to apply what they learn. Ask them to come back next week and tell you how they applied it and what God did as they followed Him obediently. When you have completed the study series, plan a project to do together, incorporating what you’ve learned into it. Perhaps you can work with your missions leaders for projects in your local community or a mission trip overseas to apply what God taught them in the study. No matter the age, all women need to apply scripture to their lives.
EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUNG ADULT WOMEN:
If you young women are too busy to study God’s Word, they need to be challenged. Perhaps you have them listen for God to speak a specific word to them during the week, record the scripture, then memorize it to share with the group. Pray continually for God to lead you to women ready to grow deeper. Invest there first, then let their excitement spread to other young women they connect with.
Check out these Bible studies for women.
Help young adult women feel the closeness of Christian sisters who are walking together in this journey. Help them hear God speak as you lead them into His Word. Touch their sense of smell as they enter the room and then take the aroma of Christ out into the world. Show them how to touch each other in love as well as their community in need. Show them how to “taste and see that He is good!” It will be an investment worth your time and will have eternal value.
Consider using your home to reach young adult women.
Offer an online study for young women. Connect through cyberspace to share thoughts and encouragement in spiritual growth. Here are some bible studies for young adult women.
If you are interested in reading more about reaching young women, check out Women Reaching Women, Revised & Expanded version. More articles about reaching young women may be found on the Women Reaching Women blog.
Do you have other thoughts, ideas, or even pictures to share??
We'd love to hear from you and see those photos! Send us a photo or your meeting places for young women’s Bible studies. Please share and I’ll post the good, bad and ugly!
Since so many of our women’s leaders are looking for ways to connect with young women to raise up as leaders, I wanted to share these 10 ideas with you from Janet Speer and Beth Ann Williams who serve at the Georgia Baptist Convention. I am sure these will be helpful to you as you seek to raise up young women as leaders.
1. Include on planning and leadership teams.
2. Give opportunities in front of audiences. Special events are a perfect place and time for this.
3. Pray specifically with and for a younger woman.
4. Ask them to partner with you to prepare a meal for someone in need and deliver the meal together.
5. Offer to baby-sit children so young mothers can attend special events, Bible studies, mission projects, etc.
6. Scholarship a younger woman to attend a retreat, go on a mission trip, etc.
7. Invite them to co-teach a study with you.
8. Send notes of encouragement; tell them how God is using them in your life and the lives of others.
9. Ask them to prepare and share a short devotion at a women’s gathering.
10. Praise and affirm their expressions of faith.
Janet Speer is the Adult Leadership Consultant and
Beth Ann Williams is the Adult Missions Consultant for Georgia WMU&WEM
What has worked for you? It’s such a joy to work with and learn from Young Adult Women, but it can be a challenge as well. It will be worth the effort. If we don’t do this well, there will be no one leading and ministering to women once we are gone!
Let this be just the beginning of the ideas. Please add your ideas to this list by posting on this blog.
Let’s take a different angel on this topic and have a little fun with this Official LifeWay Research as we learn “what NOT to do!” Ever wondered how you can destroy a ministry for young women? I am sure these will help you if that is your goal:
• Enforce the policy that your members do nothing beyond showing up and sitting in the pews.
• Pressure YAW into serving where and when you think they should.
• Decide that listening to a request from a young adult woman is one step away from condoning “whining”. .
• Opt not to use volunteers under the age of 34 whenever possible, as they post unnecessary risk.
• Continue Bible study the same you have for the last 50 years, all lecture, no interaction, no Q/A. It’s safer this way since you won’t have to worry about questions you do not know how to answer!
• Only hear criticism of a time-tested, long-standing tradition when one of those pesky 20-somethigs offers up an idea to grow the ladies’ luncheon from its current all-time best attendance of four women (including the pastor’s wife).
• Don’t create opportunities for them to interact and get to know people like them. Make sure there is no way they get to be in small groups with women their age, or for that matter, older women too. Keep them isolated once they enter the church doors.
Now do these daily for a few months and you will succeed in completely destroying any ministry with young women. Let us know how it goes! Just kidding!
If you have any other pointers, please share them with us!
As a women’s ministry leader, I have navigated the years of ministry long enough to have dealt with numerous difficult seasons. At times I’ve had ministry to help me keep my focus. It has also provided a positive diversion during sometimes long seasons of pain and frustration in other facets of my life.
Not long after my husband and I surrendered to ministry (thinking it was for him and not me!), we began to face one problem after another. First of all things broke. We’d been married about 15 years so it was time for all appliances, furniture and even cars to fall apart and they did! Next came job loss.
At first we wondered if we had not heard correctly from the Lord and began to question our call to full time ministry. So, we prayed again and asked for clarification. He confirmed for us that we’d heard right and we must continue to follow if we were to obey Him.
I was serving already in a part time staff position leading women’s ministry and missions education at my former church, Green Acres Baptist in
There were many hard days but as I continued to follow God’s direction personally and ministerally, He showered me with His peace and used me in the midst of the struggle and often, the pain. Life continued and then I faced a time of switching roles with my mom as she developed dementia and became fully dependent on me to take care of her needs. She lived in an assisted living facility for three years prior to her death this past January. You can read the story Becoming Your Mom’s Mom
As responsibilities grew with her, I often became exhausted and even saddened at the loss of my mom as I knew her. It became difficult leaving town as I had to travel often with my work at LifeWay. Worry about her and her health were always on my mind. Again, as I spent time with the Lord and asked His direction, He never failed to give me the strength I needed.
We cannot quit serving because we face difficulties in life. God knows each one, and has allowed each one for a purpose. We may not always know the purpose, but we can trust the One Who does! We must have real women leading women. Women who understand what it’s like to struggle as a woman, to deal with real life issues, and yet who seeks heavens perspective of each experience. Recently I completed T. W. and Melana Hunt’s study, From Heaven’s View. I highly recommend you do the Bible study. When we see from God’s viewpoint, it changes how we live and how we lead.
What do you do when you face a difficult season of life while serving in ministry?
Another great resources is Raising Moms by Rhonda Kelley
If you are a leader seeking to raise up the next generation, you have probably found it sometimes difficult to figure out how to build community. You may be wondering why what you are doing with women doesn’t seem to connect with your young women.
If young people are saying that “together is better” then how do we build community in a world that seems to draw us apart? We are all busy women, with very few blanks in our calendar and building community takes time! How can we do it? Let’s look at the challenges mentioned in Lost and Found by Ed Stetzer and Jason Hayes, and consider at some possible solutions.
1. One challenge to community is the ever growing social networking. Even though technology is a wonderful way to communicate and connect us with women around the world, it can, if we are not careful, take the place of one on one ministry, friendship and mentoring.
What can we do to counteract the tendency to stay behind a computer screen or text our friends instead of actually speaking to them?
Plan a coffee house evening for women. Have 2-3 women share short and varied personal stories about what God is doing in their lives. Then have women in small groups around tables share as well. Place a set of questions to begin their discussions, then let it flow freely, having a facilitator to guide discussion when needed. The facilitator could be an older woman who is willing to invest in the younger ladies not only at the coffee house, but possibly at other times as well. Younger women long for mentors who will share their stories and lives with them. They desire to connect with women who have been where they are. You might plan this easy get together for women once a quarter. Just provide coffee and dessert and encourage the women to share their “God stories” as they grow together.
What about starting a moms group, led by older moms? I remember when I became the mom of 10 month old twin baby girls, I thought I knew all the answers. I quickly found out that babies don’t always do what the books say if I do what the books say! I desperately needed other moms who were dealing with potty training, two year old issues, and marital relationships all at the same time. I was in a mom’s Bible study long before we ever heard the words women’s ministry. We truly ministered to, prayed for and loved each other. Our leader Sonja was a little older than we were, and much more spiritually mature. She led us to the Word of God to become the moms that would honor Him. I am so grateful for her investment in our lives.
This, once again, is the been there, done that idea, but focused on mothering. There are women staying or coming home to raise children who desperately need encouragement and camaraderie with other moms. Many churches have MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers) groups. Others have broadened the target to include moms of all age children. Linda Anderson had been doing this for years in her church. The ministry, Mom to Mom, has now become nationally known. She has three years of Mom to Mom curriculum written that will help moms navigate through motherhood, while growing in community and in Christ.
2. The speed of our community and our world makes it difficult to take time to slow down and just “be” with others. Is that a challenge for you as it is for me? If we aren’t intentional about taking the time to get to know other women, discover their gifts and passions, then how can we know who to pass leadership on to? Block out space on your calendar just for that. One leader told me once that each month, she schedules lunch with someone in a different generation. This helps her get to know what their lives are like and how she can connect with women in each generation.
3. Another challenge is the whole security issue in our world today. Most people do not feel safe and have become more guarded with those they don’t know well. We can provide safe places for women to connect, share their stories, and grow in their walk with Christ. It might be at a coffee house, your own home, the workplace, or church. You can promote a safe environment and model what that looks like by keeping confidences, not gossiping, and being open and honest in your communication and caring. Keep a Bible handy, ask women how you can pray for them, then be faithful to pray and follow up on answers. Do not share their concerns with anyone else unless you have their permission. As you consistently and transparently build a relationship with a young adult woman, showing her your successes and failures, she will feel secure in sharing hers with you as well.
4. The fourth challenge is the family and relational dysfunction we see in society today. So many women have not have a “normal” home life, with parents showing them how to build relationships based on covenant commitment. So many families are broken, and even filled with anger, hurt and betrayal. Some women may need more help than you can provide. You can direct them to professional help as needed if you know the resources available. By taking the time to get to know her, her needs and her desires, you can not only provide a safe place to share, but also practical steps to take for healing.
With all these challenges, do you feel like giving up? It can be daunting at times, but if God has called you to lead, he has called you to leave a legacy for those who come behind us. Young adult women of today desperately need wise women to invest in them, slow down and take the time to build relationships amid busy schedules, provide safe places for women to share and grow, and direct hurting women to appropriate resources as you share your heart and Christ with them.
What are you doing to build community with young women? Share your ideas of how to overcome these barriers to reach young adult women.
