I am sure you, like most of the world, have been overwhelmed by the events in Haiti. We can’t even wrap our minds around the huge loss of life, homes and health. It appears too big to even know where to start.

It is refreshing to see groups immediately respond in such tangible and practical ways. It has helped us know what to do and how to get resources into the hands of those who can go and minister.  Churches have provided specific ideas for items needed, provided ways we can give directly to Haitian relief, and have embraced opportunities to go and minister personally.

Over a year ago, the Lord led our church to partner with Haiti to build an orphan village (orphanage, church and school). We have sent teams to Haiti to start the construction and even started planning an adoption ministry through our church. That was not an accident that it happened to be the country of Haiti that God led us to. Having a foot already in that door, we have collected blankets, clothes, and other items that will be sent soon. This week, we sent 4 from our church to Haiti, inlcuding our pastor.

LifeWay has also responded in tangible ways. Please visit our web site to see how you can provide "Help for Haiti".  Connect with these and other organizations to provide help for Haitians.  Sermon helps and Bible Study guides are also available.  These are excellent ways to connect and lead your small group as you seek ways you can be personally involved in assisting with the tremendous needs. Pray for God’s glory to be seen during this painful tragedy.

Ever thought about how women’s ministry really starts with the girls in our church?  Do you have an active girls’ ministry?  And if you do, are the women personally involved to serve as models, mentors, and friends to these “young” women? What if we invest now, involve them now in ministry, and  seek to help them develop as leaders. Can you imagine what the future of ministry to and with women would be?

If you do not have an active girls’ ministry, perhaps as a women’s leader, you can connect with your student minister to partner in reaching and discipling girls. Offer to provide snacks or a home for a sleepover. Or chaperone a student event and spend time getting to know the girls.

LifeWay also provides training to girls and girls' ministry leaders.  The Girls' Ministry  Forum will be an incredible weekend of ministry and learning.  Check out the LifeWay Girls blog and watch for other ways to understand and connect with girls. Titus 2:3-5 relates to all ages of females!

Have you ever faced difficulty as a leader? Now I know that’s a rhetorical question. If you are breathing, you have faced difficulty!  But how do we do it? How do we not give up when we face trials, personal or ministry related, while we are leading in ministry?

Surely you’ve faced struggles as you’ve been serving unless you are brand new. Why haven’t you given up? I can tell you, when I began facing trials while leading ministry, my first thought was to get out of leadership. I wrote about this experience in the blog post Leading Women’s Ministry in Difficult Seasons of Life. But God would not let me leave the ministry He had called me to. In fact He gave me ministry at times to give me a place to pour and feel like I was making a difference even in the midst of feeling like a failure in other areas where the struggles existed.  It added some balance to my life.

Why haven’t I given up?  Because God is and has been totally faithful and victorious in every situation.

I shared the following tips at a recent women’s leadership conference and on our last web cast. These are 7 things God has taught me over many years of life and ministry.

1.    Pray Honestly and Thankfully. God can take our honest praying, even if we are crying out in anger and pain. Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:18 “With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the Spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints.” We must pray even if we don’t want to or know what to say. We must pray continually and with thanksgiving (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
2.    Claim Scripture. His truth is truth always, and it will sustain and help us navigate difficult journeys. Here are many that He has given me over time that I even now go back to time and again to claim. Print them off and keep them handy: Romans 5:3-5, Romans 8:18, James 1:2-4,1 Peter 1:3-9, James 1:12, Philippians 4:6-7, John 14: 27,2 Thessalonians 3:16, Romans 15:13, Romans 4:20-21.
3.    Admit the Pain. Trying to fake it won’t work. Psalm 40:1 says I waited patiently for the LORD, and He turned to me and heard my cry for help. He already knows and your Christian sisters and co-leaders need to know when you hurt. If you stuff it, you will pray the price.
4.    Accept Help. Once you admit the pain, accept the help the Lord and others offer you. Accept their prayers, cards, hugs and wise insight as you face your struggles. I had a sweet young lady leave a note and scripture on my car windshield one day when she knew I was struggling and knew some of the issue. I cherished and kept that note to re-read. I was blessed that others knew and cared rather than judged.
5.    Hear God’s Messages. God will speak if we will only listen and watch for His messages. It could be through sermons, scripture, books, other people or music. The Lord gave me a song one day as I had just found out my dad had cancer and it did not look good. (In fact he only lived 4 months after the diagnosis.) The song is an old Tim Sheppard some, In His Arms. I am sure it had already been on the radio a while, but I’d never heard the words till that day as I sat in my office with the radio on. It had a line that says, “What is death but a door to the promised land, what is life living for without hope in the end, what is life without longing to be in His arms for eternity?” As I listened that day, I was so encouraged that my dad would be in Jesus’ arms when he left us. How I needed that message that day. Don’t be guilty of what we read in Job 33:14, “For God speaks time and again, but a person may not notice it.” Notice it!
6.    Continually Praise. I had a flip over calendar once that said, “Praise is more spontaneous when things go right, but it’s much more precious when things go wrong.” It becomes that “sacrifice of praise” when it’s hard and when we hurt and are confused. But we can claim this with the psalmist, “The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” He is worthy of our praise especially in trials. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 tells us to “Rejoice always.” My former pastor love to say, “Rejoice when you don’t feel like it, rejoice till you feel like it, then rejoice because you feel like it.” That’s rejoicing ever more. That’s continually praising our Creator God.
7.    Hope. Just remember to always hope. So many times in scripture we see someone who is at their wits end but who walked with God anyway. Habakkuk 3:17-19 is a favorite memory verse of mine.  “Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will triumph in the LORD; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation!  Yahweh my Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like those of a deer and enables me to walk on mountain heights!”  And what about Micah’s words, “Do not rejoice over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will stand up; though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light.  (Micah 7:8) And even Job who lost everything, “Even if He kills me, I will hope in Him. I will still defend my ways before Him.” (Job 13:15).

I pray that you will use these ideas to help you navigate your next struggle as you lead and serve others. Perhaps you have some tips to share with our readers of how you deal with struggles. Please share those in the comments section.   The next post I will share 3 results of being transformed through trials. Keep watching.
 

One of the questions I get often is “what can we do for single moms? They are a growing segment of our women’s population in our church and community and we want to help them.” We asked that often at my church and a year ago responded with our first event just for them called The Gift. Our second annual celebration of single moms occurred again at Long Hollow Baptist Church on December 5 of this year and I was grateful to be able to be a part of the volunteer team this year after being out of town last time.

 Last year we had about 80 moms attend and this year we had 131 moms attend. We also extended the invitation to many of those in our community that are being helped by community agencies but may never have the opportunity to be pampered.

 We asked for women to volunteer to pray, provide homemade food for lunch, donate door prizes and gift bags full of goodies, be drivers to pick up single moms, and to serve as greeters and hostesses. We had over 300 volunteers for this one event, because women love single moms and want to take the opportunity to let them know it.

 For the moms who drove to The Gift, the men and youth of our church volunteered to take the car keys and check out their cars, wash them and let the know if there was any major work that needed to be done. The keys were returned to the moms as they wrapped up their day.

  Many from our community volunteered their time to provide massages, hair cuts, manicures and pedicures. Some of these women cried as they received their pampering. All services were free and there was no charge for registration or the childcare that was provided.

 During the home cooked lunch, the moms received gift bags and heard a special speaker, a single mom who is a DJ on our Christian radio station. She understood where many of them were sitting that day and she poured the love of Christ out for them. We concluded with an invitation time and provided encouragers to stand by to minister. We had many moms come forward for prayer.

 Have you thought about the single moms in your church or in your community? What are you doing to minister to them and love them to Jesus? Please share your ideas with us and other leaders.

In 2009 we had the first ever Generations…The Unbroken Chain: Ministry Through the Ages training event. It was such an eye-opening experience. One of the highlights was the “top ten” for each generation represented. This is the sixth in a series of “top 10s” in which I’ll share what the breakout leaders thought were the most important things for leaders to know about the generation they represented.

Our senior women’s track was led by Ann Rice who worked with senior adults at First Baptist Church of Little Rock, Arkansas for over 35 years. She’s been teaching Sunday School since the age of 13, she continues to teach and speaks to women, senior adults retreats and conferences. I have said many times, I want to be just like her when I grow up. Of course, since I am a boomer, I’ll never be a senior, but I will be her age one day! Here are Ann’s thoughts about seniors and how to reach them.

1.  Change your perception about senior adults. Truly, the “old gray mare ain’t what she used to be.”  In the past we thought of senior adults women the little gray haired lady in the rocking chair, knitting with a shawl wrapped around her shoulders.  Seniors today LOOK different: we go to Curves, we know Botox, Jenny Craig and Preference by L’oreal!  Senior women are better educated than ever before.  My mother never went beyond the eighth grade, I have the privilege of a college education and even some graduate work.  Because of financial planning, IRA’s, and social security many of us are financially independent.  Because of modern medicine we are living longer, feeling and looking better, and loving it.

2.  Enlist seniors to serve on your team.  If you are the Women’s Ministry Leader in your church enlist a Senior Woman to serve on your team.  She will be invaluable in getting the word out to other Seniors, and praying for you. They have “been around and know the ropes.” These are women you CAN count on to come through on their assignments, and WANT to be included.

3.  Know your target audience.  The more specifically you can define your focus group the more effective you will be in reaching that group.  Think outside the box: yes, you know certain characteristics about this audience and these characteristics are important but dig deeper!  What are they passionate about?  What are their interests?  What “turns them on?” Remember the current terms: Medium Adults, and the New Senior.

4.   Find a common cause.  Establish connections around common interests.  Realize with me that the buzz words of today are “connect” and “involve.”  Know in advance that most senior women will NOT join you in August at a swim party at high noon.  But if you are planning a mission trip or project of any kind, call on us!  These are women who have come up through the ranks of missions organization in the church such as offered by Woman’s Missionary Union.  They have grown up studying about, praying for and giving to missions. Identify those in your group who care deeply about a particular area and want to do something about it. 

5.   Senior women love to learn.  Just because we are in our senior years we should never stop learning; and the new senior adult woman loves to learn.  Health care professionals agree that learning and keeping our minds engaged and active is one of the best ways to keep our minds sharp.  Women’s ministry can help with this!  Senior women love bible study.  Most of them have been in Sunday School all their lives and long for more in depth Bible study, AND senior women can still teach.

6.  Age is irrelevant.  Dr. Charles Arn, director of the Institute for American Church Growth, Monrovia, CA says that in fact right now all of us are experiencing our chronological age (your actual birthday), our biological age (how do you feel? 73 or 37?  How is your health?), and our psychological age (how do you think of yourself?) I have known some women half my age who thought of themselves as older.  “As a man thinketh in his heart…”

7.  Everyone can make a difference.  Older adults long to make a difference, to leave a legacy, evidence that their life mattered.  Whether we realize it or not every one of us leaves a legacy, a reflection of who we are and what our life was all about.  Reflect on your lives, the events of your life, the things you have accomplished, the people you have touched and the memories you’ve left behind.  What are some things we want to leave behind? Perhaps a record of the prayers we have prayed for our children, our families, stories, important events, shared memories and experiences, a good character (Prov. 22:1), a legacy of faith, our Bible, written in through the years 

8.   Mentoring.  We generally think of mentoring as the older women teaching the younger women. Prov. 1:5 says “let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.”  What if we paired older adult women who have experienced life-changing events with persons who are going through the same events?  Identify those seniors who have been through chemotherapy, divorce, widowhood, difficulty with children and pair them with young women who are experiencing those same events in their lives.  Have them meet together as groups and formulate lists of needs and how to meet those needs

9.  Start small and expand.  How can we involve older adults in a way that leads to intergenerational participation? How can we maximize the involvement of older adults so that programs are meaningful and make an impact? Where do we find the blueprint for an intergenerational infrastructure? History offers some answers: In the early days of our country, informal helping systems were essential for survival.  Education included everyone, older adults taught young people their skills and little ones learned by doing chores, taking responsibility and coming to the realization that they were important links to the survival of the family and community.  We may never return to those days, but clearly, in the light of establishing the intergenerational link we must make changes.  So how do we begin?  Start small and expand.  Build on existing organizations, bring women together to form a stronger effort, one that links, crisscrosses and uses many different touch points and includes all individuals.  Envision a future in which we have such an intergenerational infrastructure where older adults play a prominent role, all are welcomed who wish to participate, matches needs and people, connects people to tasks they enjoy and applauds them for successes and guides them to even greater ones.

10. Second wind.  The dictionary defines a second wind as renewed strength or energy, as during a competition.  It is seen in marathon runners whose every muscle aches, whose lungs are on fire, whose breath comes in short pants.  The runner is in agony, the finish line seems an unreachable distant goal.  Then it happens.  The runner gets a second wind – there is a surge of renewed strength and energy that takes the runner on to a successful finish. Think of the older adults you know who caught their second wind and went on to great achievements in later years.  My point is this:  You can help your senior women catch that second wind.  And as they do, their lives will be enriched, and your women’s ministry will be, too.

How are you investing in your senior women?

How are they influencing others for Christ?

 Here's what First Baptist Church, Spartanburg, SC does to reach out through the generations.

In 2009 we had the first ever Generations…The Unbroken Chain: Ministry Through the Ages training event. It was such an eye-opening experience. One of the highlights was the “top ten” for each generation represented. This is the fifth in a series of “top 10s” in which I’ll share what the breakout leaders thought were the most important things for leaders to know about the generation they represented.

Our Boomer women’s track was led by Debbie Stuart from Prestonwood Baptist Church, Plano, TX and a LifeWay Ministry Multiplier. She earned her Women's Ministry Advanced Certificate from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. She is an Associate Member of The Women's Ministries Institute and Association of Women’s Ministry Professionals. In addition to being a conference/retreat speaker and Bible study teacher, she was the founder and director of Network Extravaganza in the Shreveport, Louisiana area. She is married and has two young adults. Here is Debbie’s top ten for boomer women and my comments.

1.     Life in a sandwich between caring for kids, or even grand kids, and caring for parents: They feel a great sense of responsibility to both. Find creative ways of equipping these women to minister to family while also taking care of their own physical, emotional and spiritual needs. Encourage them to meet with other women in this phase of life to discuss effective ways dealing with the issues they are facing.

2.     Lack a sense of relevance: There are gaps between values and lifestyles. This generation has a psychology of entitlement. Other generations may think “privileges” while boomers thing “entitlement”. Help them re-discover their biblical values and connect that with real life. The Bible study No Other Gods by Kelly Minter or another small group resource will help them reconnect with God’s Word.

3.     Looking for direction and fulfillment: They are looking for the latest thing to bring happiness and meaning in life. Because they are in the second half of life, they may become even more desperate. Show them meaningful ways of ministering to those in the community or take them on a mission trip where they can invest in meaningful ways.

4.     Less happy and less satisfied: They are hurting, often times of suffering inside because they need to appear happy. Often they are quietly desperate and lonely. Take them to lunch to draw them out. Perhaps encouraging them to pour in to a younger woman will not only bless the younger woman but also fill her own needs for community.

5.     Leaving marriages and other important relationships…like church. There is a tendency to think there’s something better, the “more to life mentality.” Help your women walk through difficult marriage situations without giving up quickly like the world tells them to. Share your own experiences of struggle in your marriage. Do a study on marriage such as FOR WOMEN ONLY or Women Making a Difference in Marriage.  

6.     Lose sight of personal purpose and passion: what we do with seniors today will not work with boomers. It will have to be repackaged as many will not ever see themselves as “seniors” at any age! Senior adult trips may not attract them like a mission trip or some activity that connects with their passions and callings to serve. Help them find meaningful ways to continue to impact the Kingdom.

7.     Love some “me!” This generation created “me” time! We want to be first because we “deserve” it. This means one size will not fit all for the boomers. We must value them as individuals and pour into them so that they will give back.

8.     Listen to self help, how to, steps to, and keys to messages. Boomers want relevant sermons that provide something of value. They will often attend support type groups to learn to deal with various issues they are facing, such as menopause, empty next, sandwich issues between kids at home and aging parents, health issues. They want to learn so provide opportunities to educate them about what they are facing and show them how to walk through each one in victory.

9.     Like authenticity but they don’t always give it: Help them know it is okay to be honest and less than perfect. In fact show them how this will make them more attractive to other generations if they are authentic. Provide opportunities for them to ask and answer questions from other generations about their lives and their experiences.

10.  Long to finish strong: they are asking what should I do with the rest of my life? They are less interested in buying stuff and more interested in having valuable life Experiences. This is great news for the church. Help them slow the treadmill of life down so they can figure out what’s really important. Show them resources that will encourage them to invest the last half of their life in the most meaningful ways possible. Check outFantastic after 40! by Pam Farrell, Second Calling by Dale Hanson Bourke or Pathway to Purpose for women by Katie Brazelton.

Boomers are returning to the church…is your church ready for them?

How are you investing your Boomer women and how are they influencing younger women?

I don’t often purchase secular fiction, but something sparked my interest in a Nicholas Sparks book, The Last Song. It was probably the beach scene on the front. I absolutely LOVE anything related to the beach and had seen this book advertised in a store mailer.

It usually takes me weeks to finish any fiction book since I only read fiction at bedtime (the rest of my reading is spiritual, work, and leadership related). Typically, it only takes about 10 pages to put me to sleep; it takes me forever to finish one book! But not this time. I started a week ago and finished this afternoon. It was truly a fabulous story of family relationships, broken relationships and restored relationships, living and dying, bitterness and forgiveness. There was a spiritual thread through the book that enabled the father in the story to face a life different from what he had anticipated. His pastor friend and his Bible brought him incredible strength and peace.  I was so touched by this story that I couldn’t put the book down and cried through the last 30 pages or so. If you haven’t read it, you might want to take a look.

 In 2009 we had the first ever Generations…The Unbroken Chain: Ministry Through the Ages training event. It was such an eye-opening experience. One of the highlights was the “top ten” for each generation represented. This is the fourth in a series of “top 10s” in which I’ll share what the breakout leaders thought were the most important things for leaders to know about the generation they represented.

Our Gen X women’s track was led by Julie Woorduff, graduate of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and women’s minister at Long Hollow Baptist in Hendersonville, TN. She writes Bible study curriculum and contributes articles to ministry leadership magazines. She is author of leader material and learning activities for discipleship resources written by T.W. Hunt and Beth Moore. Here is Julie’s top ten for young women and my comments.

1.      Gen X women are hungry to see how biblical truth relates to daily life.  Like other generations, they want casual authentic encounters with other women. By this age many have become disillusioned by life and relationships. Many have had broken marriages and often have seen church leaders be less than authentic. Embrace these women with love and with TIME as you lead them into the Word to show them how it relates to their lives. Help them discover passages that speak to where they are and how those principles truly do work.

2.      These women want to see action.  They are anxious to “do” ministry. Provide opportunities for them to make a difference in the community. Offer to help them discover pockets of needs in your neighborhood and then resources to meet those needs. Perhaps a “back to school meet at the bus” day. Have the provide coffee and donuts to moms with kids waiting for the first day of school bus. Perhaps they will connect with women who are also hungry to know how God’s Word will impact their walk and will offer a home Bible study like Frazzled Female, No Other Gods, or The Virtuous Woman.

3.      This age woman has a need to relationships that go deeper than “hello”.  They need real connection. To engage these ladies we must stop in the hall and really notice and talk to them. What about taking one to coffee once or twice a month? Maybe taking a different one each time to get to know about their lives. You may be able to connect her with someone else dealing with a similar situation.

4.      Gen X women have a desire to process hurts or frustrations with others.  Make sure that you do not flinch when they share huge issues. Give them the freedom and confidentiality to express the reality of their feelings. Help them channel them in a healthy way.

5.      Gen X women long for companionship and friendship.  This is similar to what we said in 3 and 4, but goes deeper than “coffee” and listening to their hearts. They need some women who will truly “do life” with them, sticking with them through long nights and repeated slips into bad habits.   Then follow up with #6.

6.      Equity and accountability in relationships is high on their list.  They want to be with peers who are also struggling like them, but who will hold them accountable and ask them hard questions. Check out Heart Friends for help on starting accountability groups.

7.      They are hungry for honesty and vulnerability from other women.  They don’t want to just be told what you think they want to hear, they want to really know what you think. But they also want you to be vulnerable with them as you share truth. Tell them where you are struggling.

8.      Gen X’ers long for TRUTH.  The Truth! They need to see how the Word of God intersects with their life journey and how that will sustain then in a walk with Christ.

9.      They are plagued by stress!  They have stress of work, family, failure, ministry, the world’s needs, and on and on. Can we help them de-stress? Show them healthy spiritual outlets that will calm their spirits? Can we show them skills for prioritizing their day so they don’t live in chaos? Training in simple home, time or financial management skills can be one way to help them clean up the clutter, eliminate the unnecessary and develop healthy spending habits can be a huge de-stressor!

10.  Gen X women long for a place to belong and build relationships. We must provide a warm, caring environment for these women to find a place to belong, to build relationships, and to grow. Coffee houses didn’t develop by accident. Providing a “coffee house” type setting even on the church grounds can be an open door to reach out to these women.

11. (oops that’s not 10!) They need help in dealing with personal issues.  Help in dealing with issues such as marriage, finances, weight loss and self esteem. These are some of the big hot topics they are facing and that they need guidance to handle in a way that honors God. Christian health and weight loss programs can help, as well as resources about marriage, and finance.  

Not always an easy generation to reach, but such a valuable one that we must!

What else are you doing to reach Gen X? Share your ideas with us!

In 2009 we had the first ever Generations…The Unbroken Chain: Ministry Through the Ages training event. It was such an eye-opening experience. One of the highlights was the “top ten” for each generation represented. This is the third in a series of “top 10s” in which I’ll share what the breakout leaders thought were the most important things for leaders to know about the generation they represented.

Our young adult women’s track was led by Lorie Keene, a graduate of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Louisville, KY, where she earned a Masters of Divinity in Christian Education and a Th. M. in Leadership and Education. She also served as Assistant Director of Women’s Programs at Southern. Here is Lorie’s top ten for young women and my comments.

1.      Younger women are very diverse in the realms of education, marital status, emotional maturity and clarity of future. Because, as a leader, you and the other older women in your church have such diverse experiences, you are perfect to minister to these younger ladies. As you spend time building relationships with them, and discovering their life situations, you will be able to connect them with other women who can relate to their lives. My own experiences such as infertility, not walking with the Lord through my teen years, trying to be the “perfect wife and mother” and failing often, and many other issues I’ve experienced, can connect with where they are. So can yours!

2.      They crave attention and direction from older women even if they are not verbally telling you so. Lorie, a young woman herself, said, “We need you! We need you to be you!” Sometimes we think we have to become someone else to relate to these women, but they really do want us as we are, warts and all! I believe if older women understood what they really want-women who have lived life and are willing to share that with them-they would be so much more willing to invest the time. It’s so much easier to be who God created us to be than trying to become something else!

3.      They desperately hope that mistakes of their teen and college years do not hurt their futures, while also hoping that they learned enough during that time period to adequately meet the demands of this phase of life. Did you fear this as well? Think back to your college age years. Help them see how God can take even those past mistakes and bring glory to Himself as He uses it for good! Share Romans 8:28 over and over again with them.

4.      The majority of the time, they appear very confident and put together externally, yet inside most struggle with insecurity and a search for real hope and meaning in life. Of course, we know that each one desperately needs a vital walk with Christ to find true meaning. Perhaps you can help them walk through a discovery of who that person is by looking at personality, spiritual gifts, past experiences, hopes and dreams and praying together to see what God would reveal about His plan for her life.

5.      Many grew up believing that once they were married all would be well in life, so they are now facing the reality that no one person can fulfill them. I will never forget when I realized that I had to love God more than my man. No one had ever told me that. I also thought when I married him that he would meet ALL my needs ,without me ever telling him what they were. I actually believed it and this was before the days of Men are from Venus,Women are from Mars, His Needs Her Needs and For Women Only! I grew up in the 60’s where men and women were equal and everything was unisex! Boy, did I have a huge shock when I figured out he really didn’t understand the female mind and wasn’t totally supposed to! We can help these women look to Christ for what only He can provide instead of expecting any human being to fill our deepest spiritual needs.

6.      As opposed to older women, this age range has been fed a heavy does of post-modernism, which affects their outlook on political and lifestyle issues. We will have to continually take them to the Bible to discover real truth. It will take time and often small doses of the Word, to begin to change what has culturally been drilled into their minds and hearts. We must show them that the Bible is as relevant and true today as it was when it was penned.

7.      Those who are unchurched can have a cynical response when first approached with anything that can be labeled religious. Building relationships outside of church buildings will be vital. Where can you find young women on a day to day basis? Serving you at your favorite coffee ship? At your children’s activities and schools? Begin spending time wherever you run into them, asking them about their lives and interests. Help them to see you care about them personally, not just about “getting them into the church”. As you do, doors will open for you to begin sharing your own faith with her.

8.      They are the first generation that has been heavily raised in a culture where divorce is a “normal” aspect of life. Women need to see role models of women who have stuck it out in marriage, who have loved through hard times, and who have honored God with their commitment to the covenant of marriage. I am studying Kay Arthur’s new Bible study Covenant . She makes it very clear what covenant means to God both in the Old Testament and the New and how it relates to our own life covenants. Might even be a study you could do with a young women or a group of young women. For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn or Women Making a Difference in Marriage are also great studies to help women navigate marriage issues.

9.      They tend to repel from things that seem fake, while are attracted to people who appear honest and vulnerable. Share your own stories with her. Share your failures and what God has done throughout your life to draw you near. They have seen so much “fake” in their life time, through government, relationships, and even church. If we have to “fake it” we will spend lots of wasted time trying to remember “how to be” with that woman. Being real is so much easier, just like we said in #2 above. Being ourselves and being real will take less effort and be much more meaningful.

10. Lastly, they desperately need to see what true love is. Can we love her when it’s hard? Can you pray for and with her when you want to box her ears? Can you let her experience real love through you, perhaps for the first time in her life? Walk together through 1 Corinthians 13. Discuss what it means to really love someone. Relate that to how God loves us. When my daughter returned after a period of 8 years of living away from our family, God ask me one thing only, “can you just love her?” I had no idea how I could do it after much heartache and distrust, but He’d never asked just that of me before. The day I was to see her for the first time after she returned, I was able to say Yes and I cannot tell you what joy I have had in building a new relationship with this child of mine ( who also has children of her own!). Sometimes God will only ask you, “Can you just love her?” What will be your answer? You can’t do it without His love flowing through you to her.

What else are you doing to reach young women? Share your ideas with us!

In 2009 we had the first ever Generations…The Unbroken Chain: Ministry Through the Ages training event. It was such an eye-opening experience. One of the highlights was the “top ten” for each generation represented. This is the second in a series of “top 10s” in which I’ll share what the breakout leaders thought were the most important things for leaders to know about the generation they represented.

Our college age generation was represented by Lauren Farmer, , a recent graduate of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY, where she received her master of divinity in women’s leadership. Lauren has worked with young women at various churches and para-church organizations. Here were the top 10 things she wanted us to know about college women.  I will give you Lauren’s top ten ideas and add some comment to each.

 

1.      70% of 18-22 year olds drop out of church for at least one year. This truly shows us how important it is to seek creative ways to reach and involve these women in ministry. If you invest in one college student this year, you may be the one who prevents her from being a part if this drop out percentage. Invite her into your home for a meal, let her wash clothes at your house if she lives in a dorm or an apartment, or take her a bag of goodies to welcome her to your community.

2.      College women are a very diverse group! We can’t assume they all have one goal, one way of doing life and even one way of growing spiritually. We must help them find their individual callings and passions for Christ and show them how to use them for His glory. Do a spiritual gifts workshop with a group of college women and show them how their gift connects to Kingdom ministry.

3.      There is a great opportunity to minister to this age-group. When you look at how many are not near family, or who are trying to discover what they will do with the rest of their lives, you see the importance of pouring into their lives. As you spend time with them, you will discover many needs, sometimes even crises, they are dealing with. Ask God to give you a heart that hears the needs and sees a way to respond in love.

4.      They are extremely influenced by technology. If we aren’t connecting with them through the Internet and texting, then we are missing an easy and important way of building our relationships with them. Get on Facebook—if I can do it, so can you! Use these to share events, studies, ministry opportunities, coffee shop get togethers. Not only is it fast, it’s cheap, and these women are “connected”.

5.      They are in a season of life defined by change and transition. Not a child, not quite a full-fledged adult. Struggling often to figure out where they really are. As one comment we heard in the young adult research indicated, the churches have a place for you in students, then they pat you on the back, send you to college and say, “we’ll see you back when you are married.” Let’s not lose them during this time of transition but embrace them and encourage them to lead in the church now. Form a advisory team of college women to help reach others in their sphere of influence.

6.      There is a deep desire for authentic relationships and community. Build into your ministry opportunities for women to get face to face to share their stories, their hearts, their needs, and their desires. It takes time…time that you may have to intentionally build into your already busy schedule, both personally and in the ministry with women. Plan it as a part of the agenda, at least in your mind. If you are meeting for a small group, have your format timed out in your mind, with a chunk of that being spent on getting to know each other and share what’s on their heart.

7.      There is a questioning of status quo. Do not be offended by their questions. We all had lots of questions about life, society and the church when we were in college. It doesn’t mean what’s been done before is not valid. But it also means, there just might be a better way of doing it! And, perhaps their questions will help us truly see if our focus is in the right place as they seek the “why” behind what we do in church and in life in general.

8.      There is a desire to make their life count. Help these college women find meaningful ways of connecting with their communities and even beyond, to make a difference in lives. Help them discover unmet needs that could be met by a group of mission minded young women as well as older women. Working together to accomplish something we can’t do alone is a powerful way to build relationships. Missions can actually be a front door to reaching unsaved young women. As they work in the community or on foreign soil to help those in need, they will be rubbing shoulders with faithful women of God who can influence them toward a relationship with Christ.

9.      There is a desire for meaningful relationship with those who have gone before them. It’s called mentoring, but the word sometimes scares older women to death. Young women just want to know others have wondered what it’s like to question what God wants you to do with your life, how to deepen a walk with Him, how to be a godly woman, wife, mom, employee, and even how to do practical things like cook, decorate and shop effectively. Help your older women understand Titus 2:3-5 and show them how to share their “God stories” from their own lives in a way that connects to younger women. Young women aren’t looking for spiritual giants, they are looking for someone who will listen, let them ask questions, and help them discover solutions to their life needs.

10. Think outside the box. Do something you’ve never done before and be proud of it! Not just for the sake of difference, but for the sake of seeking to reach women you’ve not reached before. Let these young women help you get out of that box. They have energy, enthusiasm, and knowledge that can help move ministry into the future.

This summer we had the first ever Generations…The Unbroken Chain: Ministry Through the Ages training event. It was such an eye-opening experience. One of the highlights was the “top ten” for each generation represented. Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing what the breakout leaders thought were the most important things for leaders to know about the generation they represented.

First, we’ll start with girls, what has been called the iGeneration. This generation was represented by Jimmie Davis, director of girls’ minister at First Baptist Church, Spartanburg, NC. She is also author of Girls’ Ministry Handbook and Girls’ Ministry Idea Book. She has spent years working with girls and raising up leaders among the teen girls she has invested in. I will give you her top ten ideas and add some comment to each.

Here are her top ten things you must know about girls:

1. The needs of teenage girls are met differently. Even though the needs are similar those in every generation (need to be loved, family, sense of belonging) they must be met differently be cause if her generation’s uniqueness. 
2. Teenage girls need genuine authentic female Christian role models. Women involved in their lives must make sure their walk matches their talk since the girls’ perceptions of her role models is reality in her mind.
3. Relationships are the key! They need to know you care about them.
4. Teenage girls are technology driven. Know what they listen to on their iPods. Text them on their cell phones. If you don’t know how, get one of them to show you!
5. They are connected by social networking and are peer oriented. Facebook, Twitter, blogs. They use each of these to build relationships. Get on the techno bandwagon, leaders, if you want to stay connected to them. 
6. Even though they are connected, they are often alone and lonely. Find times to meet face to face and find out what is really going on in their hearts and minds. 
7. iGeneraton girls are multitaskers. Listen to iPod, text on the phone, do homework, all at the same time. If you want to make sure they are hearing you, ask them to repeat what you just told them.
8. iGeneration and postmodern girls are innovative. They want more than pat answers as they search for truth in a generation where there seems to be no absolute. Help them create ways to get involved in something bigger than themselves.
9. God has a Kingdom plan and it includes iGeneration girls! God has a purpose for every girl who walks into your church. Help her discover God’s story and purposes in her life.
10. Reaching our teenage girls is important ministry! Learning to live your legacy intentionally everyday will enable you to leave a spiritual legacy for our daughters, granddaughters, and the teen girls in our churches.

Each of these top 10 thoughts about girls is a challenge but also inspires us to do something to make a difference, now, today, not later.

What are you doing that is effectively reaching the girls in your church?

Here's another blog that you should check out. It is our LifeWay Girls' Ministry blog.